[Scaly Freak]

After spending hours practicing with her still unfamiliar body, Scalyfreak is forced to take a break to catch her breath. Resisting the urge to scream at the heavens in frustration she sheathes her rapier with somewhat more force than necessary, then just as quickly draws it again when at the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind her.

 

The maker of the footsteps stops, hands lifted in a placating gesture, and Scalyfreak immediately recognizes the armor as well as the body language. “You know it's rude to sneak up on people,” she snaps, as she once gain sheaths the rapier.

 

“I coughed twice, several minutes ago,” the man in full armor responds, and tilts his head to look closer at her. “You look... different. Plot scroll?”

 

Scalyfreak sighs and nods, with a gesture down at her new attire and weapons. “It's an adjustment,” she admits, and turns towards her small camp fire to start heating up water for tea. 

 

The knight follows her and takes a seat as well, and listens patiently as Scalyfreak vents and rants out all her frustration at the stupid fucking plot scrolls and their unreasonable demands. She is especially resentful that the scroll sent her straight at Self-Sabotage without giving her any time at all to get used to her new body and its abilities.

 

“Well, that explains my scroll then.” For once the blue eyed knight interrupts Scalyfreak rather than let her continue to vent, and chuckles at her surprised expression. “It said to go to this clearing and fight the person I found here. I wasn't exactly happy when I realized it was you, but now it makes sense.”

 

“Of course you weren't, I'd kick your ass. Well, I would have,” Scalyfreak amends, but her smile is genuine now. The sheer relief of having her friend near, to not have to face either Self-Sabotage or Stress Hydra on her own, makes everything about her uncomfortable situation seem a lot less bleak. “But since we obviously aren't fighting each other to either death or first blood, how does that make sense?”

 

“Well...” Her paladin friend pauses for a moment, seemingly to search for words, then shrugs. “You need to practice against someone, don't you?” With that he stands up, hands her a blunted foil, and before Scalyfreak has a chance to ask him where on earth he was hiding that, he lifts a practice sword of his own, and smiles. “Shall we?”

 

Scalyfreak glances down at the foil in her hand, tests the weight and balance that feel remarkably similar to her rapier, and then smiles back. “We shall.”

 

 

 

So this is the second challenge since my forced return to the office in early May. Before diving into the (few and small) goals for this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well:

 

Spoiler

I cheerfully approach all my challenges as video game quests, with boss fights and level grinding, I have re-framed my anxiety into pyromancy, because it's very destructive when it flares up and gets out of control. But like the pyromancy flame, if the chaos is embraced and can be harnessed, all that energy can be used against against my enemies. In fireball form.

 

Track record in my boss fights so far:

 

• Self-Sabotage drains levels and health, and heals herself with what she drains from her opponent.
  • Current strategy: Apparently it is to face her without my armor, while carrying a long needle. Thankfully I have an ally helping me adjust to my change in weaponry.
• Procrastination is good at hiding and then hitting me with a back-stab when I least expect it.
  • Current strategy: Pretend to ignore and deal with her later, while secretly plotting to use my bullet journal calendar thingy to ambush her back.
• Self-Indulgence was gradually convinced it would be easier for her to reach her goal if we worked together. Before the alliance fell apart on its own, Self-Indulgence was viciously killed by a very angry unicorn, that has not been seen or heard from since then.
  • Current strategy: Dance on her grave
• Stress-Hydra spawns whenever too many things are happening at once, or when something really big and overwhelming happens, and cutting off one of her seven heads makes no difference because it re-spawns a replacement head almost immediately.
  • Current strategy: The Herakles Method - Ask for help

 

I'm currently dual-classing as a Warrior Druid, because meditation is a great way to quietly build Endurance and Resilience stats while figuring out how to make my need for sleep work with my need to make my body lift things and move and generally be active in a way that builds strength and resilience.

 

My last challenge was derailed by being forced to go back to working in the office part-time. I've been working from home since March of 2020 because of the pandemic, and in May of this year it was decided that everyone has to go back to the office at least part time. I'm now driving in to work three days per week and trying to get anything done in a noisy office environment filled with distractions and people.

 

In case it wasn't obvious, I'm not a fan of being back in the office.  

 

Also, after being back in the office for less than a month, a co-worker with more enthusiasm for work than common sense, decided that since her spouse had COVID-like symptoms and she was starting to feel a little under the weather, there was no reason for her to stay home from the office, or to wear a mask when did arrive there. So now I'm wearing a mask around others at all times, including at home, and will continue to sleep in the guest room until the recommended ten day period after exposure is over. Blergh.

 

Every now and then I give in to the temptation to feel sorry for myself from missing my best friend and supplier of hugs and other forms of physical affection, but not only is that pointless, it's also over-indulgent. I've been on business trips longer than ten days. We'll weather this, and we'll be fine.

 

As for challenge goals... I am making an effort to remain mindful of the fact that it took me a few months to adjust to working from home when I first started that, so I need to give myself at least that long to adjust to going back to the office. To that end, these are my challenge goals:

 

Recover HP (physical health)

I'm going to continue to try to aim for regular cardio workouts, be they Age of Pandora, dancing, or some other form of movement. Intentional activity is the goal, and it can be anything as long as it happens.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

The meditation habit is going well, but it needs to continue to be a daily priority. Daily meditation is the very foundation of all my anxiety management, and needs to continue.

 

Regenerate Stamina (emotional bandwidth)

This category is for anything that makes me feel good, and helps me recharge my emotional energy levels so I can deal with life in general a bit better. Music, pod casts, movies, makeup, skin care products, video games, and of course the daily walks with Husband and Happy Sidekick (especially now that we're keeping our distance from each other just in case).

 

But to keep it a little bit less abstract, I will narrow it down to a tangible action: Post music in this thread at least every two days.

 

And that on that note... off we go.  

 

 

 

 

[Brovatar Korra]

That coworker sounds like an inconsiderate jerk. Hope everyone in your home (including you!) stays healthy and safe!

[Scaly Freak]

1 minute ago, Brovatar Korra said:

That coworker sounds like an inconsiderate jerk. Hope everyone in your home (including you!) stays healthy and safe!

 

Up until this incident happened, I would have described her as the opposite of an inconsiderate jerk. Which of course, makes this even more irritating.

 

My home tests are continuing to show negative, and I remain symptom free, so that's all good news. We are planning to continue  to stay apart and to mask up for the full ten days recommended by the CDC. Just to make sure.  

[Jean]

I'm here to see you overcome adversity, and also for the music.

 

It's great that you're getting help on the way. I'll spend a curse token wishing wisdom upon your coworkers and equanimity upon you (though you seem to already be fine on that part).

[Jupiter]

Here for the music as well. Hope the 10 days pass by fast.  

[juliebarkley]

6 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

This category is for anything that makes me feel good, and helps me recharge my emotional energy levels so I can deal with life in general a bit better. Music, pod casts, movies...

If you like, we could make this audience participation and leave you small surprises on your thread. Just throw us a little direction and I'm sure we can find interesting and restorative things.

[SakuraKitsune]

Here to support, fellow warrior! Let's kick ass >:0

[Scaly Freak]

13 hours ago, Jean said:

I'll spend a curse token wishing wisdom upon your coworkers and equanimity upon you (though you seem to already be fine on that part).

 

Weaponized acceptance. It's frighteningly effective.  

 

Hm... now that I think about it, I can probably use this against Self-Sabotage too. I'll have to remember this.

 

11 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

If you like, we could make this audience participation and leave you small surprises on your thread. Just throw us a little direction and I'm sure we can find interesting and restorative things.

 

Music. Bring the music!

[Harriet]

34 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

Music. Bring the music!

 

I found this. Female singer and it's a bit gothy. "Finnish psychedelic rock" apparently:

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Mad Hatter]

How many days left until real hugs?

 

Selfishly looking forward to the music offerings, my playlists are really stale.

[Scaly Freak]

22 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

How many days left until real hugs?

 

Day 11 after exposure. Today is day 6. 

[Mad Hatter]

More than halfway there! You got this. 

[Scaly Freak]

4 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Selfishly looking forward to the music offerings, my playlists are really stale.

 

I'll see what I can do. What kind of music do you normally like to listen to? (I listen to a little bit of everything, so I fully expect to have something that matches tucked away somewhere.)

[KB Girl]

I wanted to contribute but my music taste is so.... soft x)  I was looking up some dutch artists, but even the ones I remember as heavier are still very soft, heh. And I'm sure you've heard all of within temptation which is the only dutch band that I know and like that I'm sure you like too. 

 

Loved your intro story! 

 

4 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Hm... now that I think about it, I can probably use this against Self-Sabotage too. I'll have to remember this.

 

yessss.

[Scaly Freak]

46 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

I wanted to contribute but my music taste is so.... soft x)  I was looking up some dutch artists, but even the ones I remember as heavier are still very soft, heh. And I'm sure you've heard all of within temptation which is the only dutch band that I know and like that I'm sure you like too. 

 

Why are you saying that as if liking "soft" music isn't a good or common thing?  As I mentioned, I do listen to nearly anything, so share away.  

 

And no, I haven't heard everything by Within Temptation, but of course I know who they are. Because they are are kind of awesome.

 

 

 

 

[Jupiter]

3 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

And no, I haven't heard everything by Within Temptation, but of course I know who they are. Because they are are kind of awesome.

 

Ooh, I need to add them to my playlist. They sound amazing.  

[Jean]

Oooh, those are two of my favourites from Within Temptation. As is:

 

 

I listen to some pretty silly stuff which I'll probably not dare to post here and will keep for my thread (anyone remembers Aqua? That kind of silly...)

 

Here's some Feuerschwanz for German goodness:

[SakuraKitsune]

12 hours ago, KB Girl said:

I wanted to contribute but my music taste is so.... soft x)  I was looking up some dutch artists, but even the ones I remember as heavier are still very soft, heh. And I'm sure you've heard all of within temptation which is the only dutch band that I know and like that I'm sure you like too. 

Oh man, I spent my uni days listening to these guys along with bands like Nightwish and Lacuna Coil

[juliebarkley]

*places small package on Scaly Freak's doorstep, rings doorbell, and runs away*
 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

13 hours ago, SakuraKitsune said:

Nightwish

 

The greatest symphonic metal band of all time.  If I didn't have restraint, the music in this thread, 90% of the music in this thread would be Nightwish!  

 

21 minutes ago, juliebarkley said:

*places small package on Scaly Freak's doorstep, rings doorbell, and runs away*

 

"DAMN KIDS get away from my front doo- oh, music!"

 

Challenge update:

 

Recover HP (physical health)

Walked with Husband and Happy Sidekick on lunch break (benefit of self-isolating from home) and another after work, where he generously let me vent and vent and vent about the frustrations that comes with being in the last week before a major software launch. 

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Meditated this morning, and have also been meditating in the evenings to help me go to sleep.

 

Regenerate Stamina (emotional bandwidth)

Dragon Quest XI remains charming and hilarious. In my travels I came across a lovely little village built around a series of hot springs. They have hot baths and steam houses, world renowned weapon smiths, there are bamboo groves everywhere, and everyone speaks in haiku while inviting me into their homes and welcoming me to the village. Because this is a JRPG, I of course repaid their generosity by smashing every breakable object in sight and stealing everything that wasn't nailed down, before continuing on my journey.

 

[Scaly Freak]

Some vintage Nightwish before reading before bed....

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

I think I mentioned I was in the last week of a major software launch.... so yeah. Stress-Hydra is back.

 

 

Thankfully, asking for help is still viable strategy, both at work and at home.

 

As for goals: 

 

Recover HP (physical health)

We walked again at lunch. I also did a series of stretches for my shoulders and back.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Morning meditation has happened.

 

Regenerate Stamina (emotional bandwidth)

I've discovered that Hulu has the Pride & Prejudice mini series that BBC did in 1995. The masterpiece one. 

 

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

Checking in while eating lunch after today's walk, because today has not been good. Anyone who has followed my volunteering talk in previous challenges, and who follows the news, will know why. And this was on top of all the other things I was already dealing with, so... yeah.

 

Silver-lining: All the above bullshit lead to me deciding that enough is enough, and I launched a powerful attack against Self-Sabotage.

 

I haven't mentioned it here, but early in January of this year, I gave up on my therapist's office. She was great, but the front desk was an disorganized mess and scheduling sessions was a nightmare, and it eventually got so bad that trying to schedule a session caused more stress than it was worth. So I stopped. I had enough tools and knowledge to manage my anxiety on my own anyway, and I did well on my own for several months. Until they made me go back to the office. Since then, things have been getting gradually worse and worse, for many reasons, and the big software project accelerated the downward spiral. Today's news were the last straw. 

 

So I called the EAP service my work uses, and told them I need to see someone about my anxiety. They were very understanding and helpful, and gave me a referral to an online service that connects patients with therapists for call, text, or video chat. I now have an appointment scheduled for next week.

 

And Self-Sabotage whimpered and backed away, in pain, and bleeding. 😈

[Jean]

[Sovalis]

Well done advocating for yourself. Another weapon in hand for your battles. 

 

The news is so hard today. Solidarity.