[ApfelStrudi]

I'm late! I know. I was technically only a few days late but I couldn't think of a funny, gif-filled adventure. So I'm gonna let that slide and just get into it because while I've not been writing the text, at least I've been doing the challenge.

 

Since I'm sort of starting in the middle, I'll keep it simple and stick to two very simple goals.

 

1. Go to the gym three times per week.
2. Do not order take out.

 

I've been quite unhappy for a long time. Mental health issues coupled with a relatively recent job change, a suddenly much larger amount of free time, working from home with no friends around me, no hobbies that I wanted to do. I made the grave mistake of thinking online dating would be fun, which it very much wasn't. It did absolutely demolish any bit of confidence I had before I signed up, which led me to signing up for a gym, where I now find myself tinder-less but with a training plan and a whole lot of anger to get rid of, the least of which caused by online dating, the worst caused by the state the world is currently in.

 

And you know what, as I should have known it would, the gym helped. I'm at the very start of my gym journey, I am so sore that I currently can't fully extend my left arm, but I am so happy. And whenever I do anything related to my physical health, I think of you guys here, and how happy this community has always made me, no matter at which point in my journey I was.

 

Initially, I had three slightly different goals in mind. I wanted to add one about career progression. I wanted to change the gym goal to allow me to move 5 times a week instead, or additionally. And I wanted to make the food goal more complicated. But this half-challenge is for my brain more than for my body. And my brain needs to realise that making time for the gym 3 times a week is good for me (and perfectly doable) and that if I have nothing to eat at home, there are much better ways to fix it than ordering pizza for 3 people because that's the minimum amount you need to order.

 

So there we go. Not a whole lot of flash, maybe my stretch goal will be writing up a cool and fun challenge for next time.

 

Progress report so far:

I've gone to the gym twice this week. I had a personal trainer session on tuesday and I am so sore I can hardly believe it. But I went for a very brisk 2ish km walk yesterday despite my aching legs and I went to the gym to spend a half hour on the stationary bike today, just to show my brain that "but I'm so sore" isn't an excuse to at least make the drive and go there.

I also picked up groceries today and just had a lovely bulgur salad and two bananas for dinner. I suck at eating on Thursdays, so this was my first meal of the day. I might eat an egg as a snack in a bit.

I'm a lot happier than I was last week on Thursday. And my happiness level is miles, miles away from what it was like on Thursday two weeks ago. We're gonna take small steps this time.

[Elastigirl]

Hi there! Good to see you around.

[ApfelStrudi]

Oh it's so lovely to see you too!

 

I haven't fallen off the wagon, I just think I'll take it easy on updating because I don't want to get discouraged if I'm not perfect. I actually ended up testing positive for Covid last Friday, so just after posting this. Had a bit of a rough weekend, tested negative again on Monday.

 

Goal 1:

Gone to the gym on Monday and Wednesday, and for a run (Zombies Run 5K program, in the first week) on Tuesday and today. God, I missed running. It was hard on Tuesday, possibly also because I was sore. I just felt slow and heavy and it was hot. I was glad that I did it afterwards but also didn't feel great about it, if that makes sense. Today though, it was fantastic. I set out to find the ruins of a watch tower, which I didn't find. I don't know how or why, they weren't where they were supposed to be. I wasn't feeling great when I started and then I had to climb up a fairly steep hill after not finding the ruins but once I was up that hill, the rest of the run went by in a breeze. I managed to run for a much larger portion of the total distance and just absolutely loved it.

I did my normal thing at the gym on Monday and then yesterday I added an hour of stationary bike because I was listening to a great podcast and wanted to finish the episode.

Tomorrow is gym day again, then I'll have a bit of a rest on Saturday (maybe) and go for another run on Sunday without being sore (maybe).

 

Goal 2:

Managed to not order takeout despite having covid and really wanting some comfort food. Made nice salads instead and survived. I've been loving chickpea salads and cucumber salads and made a nice tuna salad today.

 

Very un-flashy but the impact this has on my life has been fantastic. I've honestly been crippled by anxiety these past few years and the fact that I ran through unfamiliar countryside with not a toilet in sight and no quick escape to my car, while probably nothing much to anyone else, is something I wouldn't have dared to do a mere two weeks ago.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I was happy to see your username on a Challenge Thread! Anxiety is tough.

[ApfelStrudi]

It is! It’s honestly limited me so much in my daily life. It’ll be a long road to get rid of it but I’ve started and that’s what’s important  

 

i took a few pictures on my run/walks. I don’t actually know how they’ll merge into the post from mobile so I’m hoping it’s not too terrible 😬

 

Run log for Tuesday:

 

 

Location of the run on Tuesday was a "Finnenbahn", which is a 400m long track on wood shavings in the forest. I like it because it gives me proximity to my car and because it's fairly flat (tiny bit of uphill/downhill but not as much as running along hiking paths), it was crazy hot though:

 

Run log for yesterday's run:

 

The beautiful pond/mini lake that apparently houses snapping turtles which I did not know until afterwards, but my phone and fingers are still intact and it was quite gorgeous:

 

Viewed from the other side of it. It does very much have "hidden fairy tale lake with probably a cursed prince turned frog" vibes:

 

I really missed getting up to random running adventures and seeing things. I haven't seen this pond/lake since I was a kid. Weird how you don't realise what you're missing sometimes until you see/do it again.

[juliebarkley]

On 7/8/2022 at 1:11 AM, ApfelStrudi said:

snapping turtles

Yay, snapping turtles! One of my favourite animals. When they are in the water, they are not dangerous. It's pretty rare that they would ever bite you if you haven't kicked them or something, but they're really curious and will swim right up to you, sometimes with their mouths open. They will absolutely bite you on land though, because they are slow and vulnerable, and can't tuck into their shells like most turtles can.

[ApfelStrudi]

12 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

Yay, snapping turtles! One of my favourite animals. When they are in the water, they are not dangerous. It's pretty rare that they would ever bite you if you haven't kicked them or something, but they're really curious and will swim right up to you, sometimes with their mouths open. They will absolutely bite you on land though, because they are slow and vulnerable, and can't tuck into their shells like most turtles can.

thats very good to know, thank you! I’ll try and find one of them next time I run to try and find the ruins!

 

we actually had a forest fire nearby all day yesterday. Relatively small one that’s now all put out. I wanted to run to see it today but can’t find the location other than “really steep hill, took the fire department an hour to find it” so I saved myself the hassle and went to the 400m track in the forest and YOU GUYS. I shaved a whole minute per kilometre off my time. I had a rest day yesterday so I wasn’t very sore today, I’m sure that helped, but it made me happy either way.  

 

 

I’m trying to take pictures to remember my runs by and also to get more comfortable with the way my body looks. This is the best I could do, I was way too paranoid someone would see me (lots of hikers out and about) 😅 but as there wasn’t pretty scenery to be photographed, I was running out of options. 
 

so this week: gym 3 times, running 3 times and 0 takeout even though my food plans for today and yesterday didn’t work out, I stuck to it and figured it out instead of ordering things. 

[ApfelStrudi]

I made a grave error in judgment and went to the gym last night even though I had a terrible migraine. I barely remember my workout, I do know I didn’t hit all my stations and almost fell off the stationary bike and the migraine was a lot worse when I left. I had a doctors appointment right before the gym and he prescribed medication for it and I was very lucky that the pharmacy had it because that was some of the worst pain I’ve ever been in. It took two hours for the meds to kick in and I was laying in bed paralysed with pain during those two hours. My head still hurts today so I will take another pill but it looks like I won’t be able to run today. It’s gonna be very hot and bright outside today and I can’t risk being several kilometres away from my car or help or cell reception. I’ll see how I feel after taking the meds. 
 

i injured my left hip a little, probably because the track in the forest isn’t well maintained and slopes inward. So while I love the convenience of it, I won’t be running along it until someone’s filled it up with new mulch and evened it out. It did get me thinking though that i should really incorporate some exercise for mobility and stability specifically for hips, knees and ankles so if anyone has any good sources for that, please let me know!

 

theres also the fact that I can’t run “normally” because it kills my knees, so I can’t hit the ground with my heel, I have to land and jump from the balls of my feet. So I’m going to book another personal trainer session during the off-week between this challenge and the next to see about doing gym exercises that specifically help with my running. I think for my next challenge I want to focus on either finishing or at least continuing with the zombies 5k program. I’ve never finished it! I almost can’t believe it because I did Spartan races and I ran with the normal zombies run app but I’ve never finished the actual 5k program. I think it may have been because I progressed slower than what the app says, so I don’t wanna give myself “finish this” as a goal and instead give myself the rule to repeat exercises when I’m not ready to progress. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Migraines are evil. Hope yours doesn't come back.

[ApfelStrudi]

I’m actually going to give myself an out today, particularly from the no takeout goal. I’m very mad at my head for hurting because I was so looking forward to going for a run today but I’m still miserable. I was supposed to go grocery shopping yesterday but that didn’t happen because I was so out of it, it’s definitely not going to happen today because I’m still in pain and have now taken medication that means I can’t drive. I don’t have easy food or any snacks at home and while one of the goals was to just go/drive somewhere and pick something up instead of ordering till it to my house, I can’t drive and it’s very hot and sunny today so that will only make it worse. I think I need to be a bit gentle with my body today and my body is craving food that isn’t pickled corn because that’s the only thing I have readily available. 
 

giving myself a very restful day today so I can go back to the regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

 

[ApfelStrudi]

This just in! I found the ruins!!! I am the happiest. I also got good news regarding a thing that I can’t really talk about yet *and* our local McDonald’s had cold brew coffee and wasn’t sold out for once. I did hurt my knee a bit but after the one day of rest and takeout due to the migraine I got right back on track and I’m very happy. 2/3 gym visits and 2/3 runs done for the week, gym again tomorrow (skipping the leg portion to give my knee a rest) and then another run on Sunday. HAPPY! 

they were super hidden in this tiny wooded area, had to walk down a very sketchy path and climb over things and then they were barely bigger than I am! But it was worth the adventure. 
 

poor performance due to knee but I think it’s more important to make sure I don’t fuck it up further than to torture myself through pain to get a better pace. 

[Elastigirl]

Cool adventure!

[ApfelStrudi]

I actually really fucked up my knee and it’s still not better  I took Saturday off gym to give it a Rest so I could go for a run on Sunday but I’ve just been not able to do anything with it. Invested in a knee brace but I’m currently unsure if that’s making it better or worse. Can’t go to the doctor until next week and have a wedding this weekend where I have to wear heels so this should be fun. Not an ideal end to the challenge so far but I’ve been going for lower impact walks every day to keep my motivation and keep moving. Ultimately healing is gonna be more important in the long run than finishing this challenge on a high

[ApfelStrudi]

Summary:

 

Knee is still properly injured. I went to a wedding yesterday and missed a step which made it infinitely worse. Gonna see a doctor next week.

 

But the important thing: While I didn't reach all of my goals due to injury, I left the house to move in some way every single day. Whether it was going for a walk, exploring or just walking aimlessly around the block. That's what I was hoping for.

[Sovalis]

I'm sorry you're injured! I hope it heals up quickly! 

[ApfelStrudi]

Thank you!

 

A bit of a longer summary:

 

As my knee has been hurting all week, I didn't go for a run or go to the gym. I can't warm up properly and I didn't want to make it worse. I did, however, go for SO many walks. And that might seem like a small, silly thing but when I say I have crippling anxiety, I do very much mean that. Just going for walks would have been the very last thing on my mind two months ago. Not all of them were great. I hate that going for late night walks is unsafe for me as a woman even though I live in a picturesque small town. I was chased by wasps and bees and one time I'm pretty sure I narrowly escaped a run in with wild boars, so all of those things did make me run a little, which probably didn't help my knee.

 

I noticed the change over the course of the last three days especially.

 

One of my oldest friends got married on Friday. I stayed at a local hotel for two days, arrived Thursday. 2 months ago, I'd have just stayed in that hotel room until the wedding, been crazy anxious going to the wedding itself and would've been unable to stand for long periods of time without feeling dizzy or like I was about to poop myself (sorry for the details, that's what anxiety means for me). I would've left as soon as I could without saying goodbye so as not to seem like a party pooper.

 

Instead, here's how I filled my two days:

 

Near the wedding location there's a church that has an ossuary! I basement filled with the stacked bones of 20,000 former citizens of the town. They shifted old bones from the graveyard to the ossuary to make room for new bodies. I've wanted to see that for years but last time I went, it was closed and I was never in the area again. So I got my butt there, walked around trying to find the entrance, asked a stranger in the street. Turns out I was 4 minutes too late, they'd just closed the gates. I didn't drive back home. Instead, I went to find a WWI memorial. I didn't find that (at first) but I climbed up a really weird and steep path and ended up finding a castle instead! That bit wasn't great for my knees but accidentally finding the ruins of a castle was so fun. On the way back to the car I did find the memorial, it was maybe 20 feet away from my car, just in the opposite direction.

 

Before returning to the hotel, I saw on google maps a viewpoint tower thing that looked funky, so I walked there as well to take a cool picture. All in all I walked about 4 km that day (Thursday).

 

On Friday instead of spending the whole morning slowly getting ready, I got up super early and drove back to the town with the bones and I SAW THE BONES!! After 8 or so years!! I couldn't go inside but I could look from the outside. I went to the chapel garden, which was filled with herbs and lavender and smelled so good in the morning sun. There was a little catacomb-like thing with old stone statues and mirrors. I walked around the gigantic church this chapel belongs to and went inside and it was beautiful. I love stained glass windows and the sun hit them just right. Went back home, got changed, drove to the wedding early because the bride asked me to get there early and help her change. The wedding was beautiful. So much love, so many tears. And 0 anxiety. My stomach didn't make the tiniest of noise even though I sat in full sunlight for the ceremony and stood around drinking champagne for hours. I did hurt my knee a bit when I missed a step in the dark, but I ate all the food (usually can't eat when I'm anxious) and was just a normal wedding guest. The bride thanked me afterwards for being there to watch out for her (I put myself on bride duty to just be there for her whenever I saw her not smiling because a few small things didn't go according to plan and I just wanted to be there for her) and it was just a day filled with so much love that I'm crying while typing this I'm so happy.

 

And then the day after, Saturday, I didn't go straight home from the hotel. Instead I went on another very small adventure (there's only so many things you can see in the area, and I have now seen them all) - I went to the "11 thousand maids tower" (not a clue why that's its name), just a 1 km walk on a very hurty knee, because I wanted to end it with something small and fun rather than a hangover and checking out of the hotel.

 

All of this is small. But it means the world to me. These tiny adventures are something that bring me huge amounts of joy and the fact that I *can* and more importantly *want to* just up and do something instead of staying home are exactly the shift in motivation I was looking for.

 

This challenge wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't designed to be. It did what I wanted it to do, and I'm excited to have my knee back to normal very soon hopefully and resume the gym-going.