[Heidi]

Glow

Last challenge I deepened my roots, and along the way I found a warmth, a spark at the core.

Now is the time to sit with that ember and nurture it, give it space to glow, a hearth to call home, air to breathe, and fuel, each thing in balance. This is an intimate space of creativity, intuition, and the permission simply to be.

 

There’s work to do and a decision to make, and as always chores that mark the days. But more than anything, this challenge is centered in what makes me glow: things that keep me fit, center me in the world, and project my light into the world.

 

Movement: Go to the gym, walk or just hang in the sauna and stoke the glow. 

Expression: How, when, and where I express myself and expend my energy matters. I like the work I do and the environment in which I do it. I can honor this best by not trying to do everything else at the same time.

Play: Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage and we are merely players, and that sounds like a great way to spend an evening or three. I’ve got tickets to go to a few plays at the nearby Shakespeare Company, and I’m looking forward to it.

Love: I have no clue what will be coming on this front, but I don’t need to know the details. My love is strong enough, flexible enough, and large enough. Letting myself live in love is a blessing.

Be: Acupuncture, the sauna, and — new to me — silent Sundays, a day of NothingWhatsoever to stoke the coals.

 

There’s a kettle beside the fire and plenty of fresh, pure water. 

Help yourself, and welcome.

 

[Heidi]

Ended the day with acupuncture followed by a trip to the sauna, which was a lovely way to close the day. It didn’t feel particularly active, but I got over 5,000 steps in, an amount that feels good and right as a daily quantity of movement, at least for the now.

[Scaly Freak]

31 minutes ago, Heidi said:

There’s a kettle beside the fire and plenty of fresh, pure water. 

 

...and here is some green tea with lavender blossoms.

 

[Heidi]

4 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

...and here is some green tea with lavender blossoms.

 

This is excellent, and lovely, and just right.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

In honor of your Sundays:

 

[Heidi]

58 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

In honor of your Sundays:

 

You know me so well.

This was one of the first songs I heard that made me say wow.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Tuesdays are long.

 

Jenna didn’t work last night, so she opted not to go to the gym, and I was wiped out yesterday and ended up sleeping until 7, which was very much needed—do you ever get too tired to sleep? I felt that way yesterday after work. The sauna helped relax and recenter me a lot, and the time I spent before I fell asleep was restful, but only sleep is sleep. Six hours of Actual Rest was a blessing. I’m glad to be home.

 

I put laundry in to wash and then logged into work at 8. The pace was brisk within thirty minutes. I’m the lead QA for three different portfolios, and Tuesdays are release days, so there is always more to do than time to do it. Basically, it’s like working four jobs at a time, and if they ever needed to replace me, they’d need to get four people to do it.  I like what I do, and even though today was very busy, we had a couple team wins, and it was nice to be part of that. 

 

Jenna texted me in the late afternoon and asked if i wanted to go get ice cream after my work and before her night shift. It’s vegetables day, and so we split those up at the apartment and then headed to the local small-batch ice cream shop where I got a scoop of coffee ice cream and a scoop of strawberry balsamic. I was halfway through the dish of yummy goodness when I remembered how devastating the effect on my head was the last time I had it when @darkfoxx was in town. Hoping for the best, I stopped right then. There’s nothing to be done about what I’d already eaten of course.

 

I had therapy at “lunchtime,” and the sheer volume of stuff to talk about was nearly overwhelming. So much happened last week—specifically from Wednesday afternoon to Friday morning—that the hour was nonstop q&a, and wow did we cover some potent ground.  I was really ready for a good cry and a nap afterwards, but there was half a day of work remaining. My brain was fully saturated by 2, but I had four hours left, one of which was a demo of a project we hope is done and meets with the business users’ approval. It did. We kind of knocked it out of the park, and they can’t wait to get it in the production environment on Monday. It felt good.

 

After that we did a code release with 9 fixes, which also felt good. When I started we usually released 2-3 fixes a week. This is some serious productivity upgrade, and we have all done our part to make this happen. We had a major culling of staff on July 1, and I swear we are more productive and effective having cut away the dead wood. The boss has noticed, and that makes me feel good, too.

 

Missing the gym means fewer steps, but I have over 2500 steps so far today, and for a Tuesday that’s pretty great.

After ice cream, I realized I had completely forgotten about laundry, and put it in the dryer. It’s a load of gym towels and the sheets, and so I don’t want to fall asleep before they are done, mostly to make sure they get thoroughly dry (towels give this dryer fits sometimes).

 

Jenna and I are meeting at the gym in the morning. 

Until then, my brain is too saturated and tired for anything much. Even the NYT word puzzle makes no sense, so I’m heading to an early bedtime.

 

Goodnight, Nerds.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

A full day for sure. Rest well, and I hope the ice cream does not hurt you.

[Heidi]

On 7/26/2022 at 8:34 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

A full day for sure. Rest well, and I hope the ice cream does not hurt you.

Thank you, friend. I did sleep well, and the ice cream was noticeable but not awful. All will be well.

 

After a good night’s rest, I went to the gym where I walked a mile before doing steam room, sauna, and shower. Back home, I put the towels in the washer, made tea, and logged in to work. It was a hectic day at work, and at lunchtime I put the towels in the dryer, cut up a beet for the steamer with a sprig of rosemary, and did the dishes. I really like my new routine, and I like my job. I’m glad I did the beet in the steamer, since I get totally engrossed when work begins again. Between meetings I put the beets in a bowl and they were perfect. There were a lot of afternoon meetings and a lot of between-meeting code triage, which takes a lot of cognitive agility as well as effort. By the time the last meeting was done, I was wiped out again.

 

After work, I called Vivian for our regularly scheduled video chat. No answer, which isn’t exactly a shock given that she’s in Canada. An acknowledgement would be thoughtful, though, and the radio silence from her and her dad and stepmom is concerning, if not at all surprising. While it’s annoying and a little anxiety-inducing, it’s temporary. I keep breathing through the chaos. Jenna and I went to Earth Fare (she need oats and I needed rice) and decided to pick up sushi as well. (I’m too tired to eat just now, but I’ll be glad to the core that it’s in the fridge when I recover a bit.) We picked up milk (she gets some too, now) and then checked on the eggs that I thought I had boiled too long, but turned out to be perfect. Who knew? The universe loves me and wants me to be happy. 

 

I took out the trash and brought up the packages of the day (nothing overly exciting, just the last of my current refill for Maxalt and some triple A batteries for the Roku remote) and as I was putting everything away my steps passed the 5000 mark. 

 

I think I’m too tired to watch television, though I’m pretty sure there’s something that I had wanted to watch; I’m too tired to remember what it was. My brain is full. These work days are good, and what I need to be doing. They also require a lot of effort and management making sure that I don’t push too hard or too far or too fast. Protecting the ember is as important as stoking the glow.

 

I had another glass of milk and put away the groceries, then sent a note to the maintenance dudes: the air conditioner is struggling. I turned it off, turned on the ceiling fans, and the temperature dropped to 76, which is good enough.

 

I kind of feel as though the job has taken over my life, which isn’t surprising but is very tiring, and is very good to know as the first day of classes draws near. It’s pretty clear to me that I cannot do both, and that my current situation is likely going to be very demanding monetarily while also requiring a fair amount of agility, two things the job brings to the table and that classes work against.

 

Life is good.

May you have peace this day.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Sounds like work is just enough to be a challenge but not so much it can't be borne. May you continue to navigate it with grace.

[Heidi]

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sounds like work is just enough to be a challenge but not so much it can't be borne. May you continue to navigate it with grace.

Apparently I’m doing that, even though it doesn’t always seem so graceful from the inside. Today my boss wrote and told me to be on the lookout for a title and pay rate change notification email from the contracting company. He said, “keep up the great work and attitude. Glad to have you onboard.” I nearly burst into tears, which surprised me. It’s been a long time since I had any sort of positive career feedback, especially any that comes with ActualMoney, and it felt like being doused with water—shocking, and then refreshing.

 

I started the day at the gym and walked a mile, then did the steam room and sauna, and the shower. Life is good. I like this new routine.  I slept 8 hours last night, which was amazing, and also means I didn’t wake up halfway through for a headache or to eat, and so the sushi from yesterday was waiting for me when I got to lunchtime today. It was just right. I also cut up a beet and a couple carrots and a few small potatoes and put them above the rice to steam. When they were finished, I put the whole thing in a glass Pyrex for lunch tomorrow and did the dishes. 

 

The maintenance guy came to check on the air conditioner (still not fixed) and the fridge (maybe fixed; we’ll see). Somewhere around 3, I passed 5,000 steps for the day.

 

After I logged out, I ate a bowl of yogurt. I need to buy some watermelon, some more beets, and some old fashioned oats, but for this evening it was enough to have the yogurt just as it was.

 

I hope you have a beautiful day, friends.

[Heidi]

Yesterday started normally, meeting Jenna at the gym for a walk, but she didn't seem well. Friends, she had been up for over 48 hours in a row. We ditched the track and went to the steam room, skipped the sauna and did the shower thing, then I drove her home and came back in time for work. Sleep deprivation is no joke, and her night job is physically taxing (sticking grocery shelves), and her day job (call center, WFH) schedule had her starting at 10 a.m. through the end of the week. Nope, not sustainable. She dropped a note to the day job that she wouldn't be in because she was ill, because she was, and I handed her a hard boiled egg to eat while I drove. She slept most of the day and then last night (she was already scheduled to be off for night shift) and seems better this morning.

 

Yesterday work was good.

I dropped a note to the trustee about my job and turned in my fellowship. It seems wrong to take it when I'm continuing to work and probably not going to take classes. I did ask if he could send me a dollar, so I can always use the title Becker Fellow, because I love that. ☺️

 

After work I met with the Jedi Council and it was restorative.

 

 I redid my budget and projections and then watched For All Mankind. I had a round of claustrophobia that I meditated through. It was dicey, but only lasted an hour or so. My sleep was all wonky, but I got some Good Rest between 4 and 8.

 

This morning I checked in with Jenna while I made tea and packed up for this afternoon's trip up the road to see a play. I'll be staying the night and then seeing another play tomorrow afternoon before I come back.

 

The broken sleep left me slow, but I feel centered. I'm looking forward to the trip.

 

Life is good.

[Heidi]

Met Jenna and talked, then went downtown together. She bought a new pair of shoes, and I got an amazing new pair of pants, and we dropped in a gallery that we didn't know we needed to visit, then went to pinball for a few games. She had never been and is of course now hooked, because pinball is amazing. It was a nice outing.

 

Speaking of pinball, I dropped the league night last season when I started the job and was getting adjusted. Fall league signups are going on, and I think I'll be switching my acupuncture evening to a non-Monday night so I am not completely wiped out on league night. I miss playing.

 

There's a tournament coming up and I'll look into the dates to see if it works.

 

I'm resting now, and will drive off soon.

Life is good.

[Heidi]

The drive up was nice. At 90 minutes, it’s at the edge of what I feel comfortable signing up for. I checked in and rested for an hour to let my brain recover from traveling at highway speeds. I walked over to the restaurant, fully expecting to get a burger, and they had lamb on the evening’s features, so lamb it was and friends, it was amazing. The portions are always twice what I can manage in a sitting, so I took the other half of everything (salad, mozzarella and tomato slices with fresh basil, lamb, and limoncello cake) back to the room and put it in the fridge before heading over to the play.  Despite not going to the gym to officially walk a mile, I managed to get nearly 8,000 steps in yesterday.

 

The play is new, a piece by LM Feldman, and I think her work is bold, but that all the points she’s trying to make get a little lost in having so many points to make. The acting and directing were astounding, as usual for American Shakespeare Company, and I feel fortunate to have these folks in my big backyard.  Back at the hotel, I settled in for the night and around midnight-thirty, loud people being loud with their room door open woke me up. I knocked and asked them to shut their door, please, and then went back to sleep.

 

I slept until 6 like usual, but woke with a headache—the first I’ve had in about a week—and took an aspirin and Maxalt and made tea, and asked the front desk for a late checkout so I can rest until the play this afternoon, a repertory offering of Twelfth Night, featuring the same actors from Thrive (did I mention that these folks are amazing?). This is the first time I’ve done a double feature, and while one play a day seems like a great idea on paper, I might be limiting myself to one play per trip in the future. 

 

Can I just say how amazing hotels are? They have always struck me as just wonderful, these little oases scattered throughout everywhere, tiny havens of personal space and civilized accommodation wherever you happen to find yourself, in whatever circumstances bring you through the doors.  

 

The Maxalt and tea seem to be doing their thing, and my head is much better. 

I’m going to rest for a few hours and then probably eat lamb for lunch.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

One of my biggest fantasies from Connery Bond flicks is not getting all the women he gets, but staying in the hotels where he gets to stay.

[Heidi]

1 minute ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

One of my biggest fantasies from Connery Bond flicks is not getting all the women he gets, but staying in the hotels where he gets to stay.

This would be epic.

[Danoria]

Love hearing about the plays and reminds me of the occasional resolution to myself that I have not followed through on; which is to seek out local theater! I always get a rush and goosebumps when the show kicks off and when things start to crescendo. I'll have to see what I can find to attend during this challenge.

[Heidi]

19 minutes ago, Danoria said:

Love hearing about the plays and reminds me of the occasional resolution to myself that I have not followed through on; which is to seek out local theater! I always get a rush and goosebumps when the show kicks off and when things start to crescendo. I'll have to see what I can find to attend during this challenge.

I like this for you!

Be sure to come back and tell me all about what you found—the good, the disappointing, the weird; I’m here for this.  

[Jarric]

6 hours ago, Heidi said:

Can I just say how amazing hotels are? They have always struck me as just wonderful, these little oases scattered throughout everywhere, tiny havens of personal space and civilized accommodation wherever you happen to find yourself, in whatever circumstances bring you through the doors.  

 

I had never considered this, but you're absolutely right. I will try and appreciate hotels more in future.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

7 hours ago, Heidi said:

This would be epic.

That, and always having a seemingly unlimited tailor's budget.

[Scaly Freak]

8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

One of my biggest fantasies from Connery Bond flicks is not getting all the women he gets, but staying in the hotels where he gets to stay.

 

8 hours ago, Heidi said:

This would be epic.

 

As long as someone else picks up the bill, yes, it would.

[Heidi]

 

39 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

 

As long as someone else picks up the bill, yes, it would.

Or to have a budget such that awesome hotels seem like a small expense.  

 

The play was amazing. The troupe really knocked it out of the park. The Bard would have loved it.

I saw the news about Nichelle Nichols as I was fetching the car out of park. She was a blessing, and her memory continues to enrich us all.

 

I drove home with the storm at my back — I think it’ll be here in pizza time (thirty minutes or less).  The last time I drove home, the trip felt much easier and shorter on the way back than on the way there, and I chalked it up at the time to the lack of traffic on July 4 Monday late morning. Today the feeling was the same, even though there was the normal amount of traffic, and I think there’s something restorative about going on a Shakespeare holiday; good theatre is restorative to my soul and my spirit.  I’m looking forward to the next play, a new work called Pass Over.

 

Today is the first Silent Sunday. It’s a day where I don’t consume the news, leave the phone on silent, go out of my way to be by myself. though it might seem like a contradiction, going to the play out of town definitely qualified. I wouldn’t have thought so, but the sense of remove from day-to-day incidentals has certainly been felt. I’m at home and everything that needs to be unpacked has been taken care of.  There’s not much to deal with actually. Being a Gypsy is sort of like being a photon: I’m traveling light.

 

As of this writing I have nearly 5,000 steps, making a real win for the week on the movement front. I think rest and restoration have been a real win this week as well. I definitely feel more warmed and welcomed by my life than I have in a long time, and I feel as though I’m in a position to nurture that. It feels good.

 

May you have peace this day, friends.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

As of this writing I have nearly 5,000 steps, making a real win for the week on the movement front. I think rest and restoration have been a real win this week as well. I definitely feel more warmed and welcomed by my life than I have in a long time, and I feel as though I’m in a position to nurture that. It feels good.

More of this for you.  

[Sovalis]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

 

As of this writing I have nearly 5,000 steps, making a real win for the week on the movement front. I think rest and restoration have been a real win this week as well. I definitey feel more warmed and welcom by my life than I have in a long tim,nd I feel as though I’m in a position to nurture that. It feels good. 

 

 

This is *chef's kiss* absolutely wonderful to read. 

[DarK_RaideR]

Hehehe...