Hi all. I don't know what to do next.

[moose004]

Hey folks.  I made an account here 9-10 years ago in the hopes I could turn some things around in my life.  It didn't work out at the time.

 

I am age 55, 5'11", 365 pounds, happily married 21 years, one 16-year-old daughter.  I am clinically depressed, under treatment for type 2 diabetes (injected Humalog/Levemir + metformin), and also probably suffer from a bit of sleep apnea.  I have worked my IT job from home since March 2020, which has been good and bad; good, because we only have to keep one car and it really helps when gas is this expensive; bad in that I rarely leave the house any more.

 

I am hopelessly out of shape.  I'm far more out of shape than when I dropped in here the first time.  I can't make a flight of stairs without feeling like I'm dying.  I just carried in one case of bottled water and a six-pound bag of paper mulch in from the car up seven steps to our front porch and I was panting like crazy.  I'm not technically disabled, but it feels like I'm much closer than I should be some days, especially considering I have no conditions that would cause it except fat and old.

 

I tried to do the "beginner" bodyweight workout lo those many years ago when I came to NF and even back then, when I was walking dogs a mile and a half a day, I had no shot.  Couldn't do one squat or push-up, could barely do sit-ups.  The one and only time I tried squats, I went down, lost my balance, and cracked my head into the wall behind me so hard I knocked myself loopy.  And that was the end of that.  Resilience is not my strong suit.

 

Maybe it's the clinical depression talking, but I'm just...not even sure I'm saveable at this point.  Some days it feels like I'm too far gone to turn myself around and get in better shape at my age and (lack of) fitness level.  The "beginner" bodyweight workout, which looks like something I would want to do, is completely beyond me.  I don't want to spend money on a gym membership that I won't use, but bodyweight and similar things I can do anywhere.  If I could do them at all.

 

So I guess that's why I'm back.  What do I do when I'm so far behind the curve I don't even think I'm level 1?  I'm, like, level -197.

 

Thanks all.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Thanks for coming back. FWIW, Steve recently did a review of his Beginner BodyWeight Workout and said he made it way too hard.

He made a true Beginner level workout in the video description:
NEW Beginner Bodyweight Workout (2x through)

• 10 assisted squats (or assisted split squats)

• 10 wall push-ups

• 10 dumbbell rows (per arm)

• Knee plank (15-30 sec)

• 10 bodyweight good mornings

• 10 walking jacks (per side)

He describes the above in the video and asks people to modify further if needed.

 

13 minutes ago, moose004 said:

Maybe it's the clinical depression talking, but I'm just...not even sure I'm saveable at this point.  Some days it feels like I'm too far gone to turn myself around and get in better shape at my age and (lack of) fitness level. 

This is a very understandable feeling. In one sense it doesn't really matter if it's depression or not, it's how you feel, and how you feel matters. Even if it's not true that you are not salvagable, you FEEL that way, and until someone validates that feeling for you, you'll be stuck there. Your feeling is valid and you are valid.

 

Now as to whether or not you are savable, I like to say it's never too late to make a good decision. For the sake of discussion, maybe you aren't savable. That doesn't mean you can't stop sinking, can't make the best of what you have left. You can do SOMETHING because even if it isn't a magic wand that solves the problem, it at least has a positive effect. 

And because it's important I say this out loud, I don't believe you are beyond salvage.

[Elastigirl]

I remember when I first started NF, there were several movements in the beginner bodyweight that there was no way I could do. 

Best advice I could give you is to start small. Maybe just start with walking. Give yourself a goal of 10 minutes a day. Pick a goal you know you can do. For food, pick one thing you can accomplish.  SOme ideas: at one meal have a no calorie beverage, for one meal make sure you have a good serving of protein (30 ish grams), for one meal focus on putting your fork down between bites. You can do this! 

[ParylPanda]

I know that feeling of no hope. It is not a pleasant place to be in.

 

When I restarted a while ago, one of my first goals wasn't a specific achievement exercise-wise, but rather getting into the habit. 

If I  changed into my exercise clothes and did at least one rep, that counted. On days where I had migraines, I focused on just changing into my exercise clothes. 

 

Loved reading Atomic Habits by James Clear - for me, changing into exercise clothes is the starting point. signals the habit. 

 

I've had a bit of a setback with a back injury,  which has not been fun, but for now, I'll focus on my steps and increasing them with baby steps.

 

Do you have a watch/pedometer? I checked my average daily steps for a normal week and decided that the next week, I'm going to increase that by 50-100 steps each day - walk to the furthest bathroom each time, when I'm up to get coffee etc. maybe go via the back yard. Simple changes that can become ingrained to add extra steps to my day. 

 

Exercise will come, but for now, I do what I can. 

 

Good luck!

[AlleyCat]

Maybe start with a baby step - something that you absolutely know you can do, then do it on a regular basis.  Eating at least one vegetable a day.  Walking 1000 steps.  Drinking X cups of water.  Build some momentum and begin to increase your goals slowly when you gain confidence.  

 

Have you ever read Mini Habits by Stephen Guise?  He started his fitness journey with just one push-up per day.  You might find his guidance helpful.

 

You can do it!

[moose004]

On 8/13/2022 at 7:55 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Thanks for coming back. FWIW, Steve recently did a review of his Beginner BodyWeight Workout and said he made it way too hard.

He made a true Beginner level workout in the video description:
NEW Beginner Bodyweight Workout (2x through)

• 10 assisted squats (or assisted split squats)

• 10 wall push-ups

• 10 dumbbell rows (per arm)

• Knee plank (15-30 sec)

• 10 bodyweight good mornings

• 10 walking jacks (per side)

He describes the above in the video and asks people to modify further if needed.

 

This is a very understandable feeling. In one sense it doesn't really matter if it's depression or not, it's how you feel, and how you feel matters. Even if it's not true that you are not salvagable, you FEEL that way, and until someone validates that feeling for you, you'll be stuck there. Your feeling is valid and you are valid.

 

Now as to whether or not you are savable, I like to say it's never too late to make a good decision. For the sake of discussion, maybe you aren't savable. That doesn't mean you can't stop sinking, can't make the best of what you have left. You can do SOMETHING because even if it isn't a magic wand that solves the problem, it at least has a positive effect. 

And because it's important I say this out loud, I don't believe you are beyond salvage.

I want to thank you SO MUCH for this.  I had no idea about it.  And that, combined with the posters' encouragement (and the fact the wife took the kid and went on a trip for a couple days and left me alone in the house) got me off my tail.

 

I just finished my first Beginner Bodyweight Workout.  Everything but the plank, and that's mainly because I'm not sure I could get back off the floor if I went down.  But the rest of it--10 assisted squats, 10 wall pushups, 10 x2 dumbbell rows, 10 good mornings, 10 x2 walking jacks, whole thing x2--I did it.  My heart rate got up to 160, my legs were giving out at the end of the walking jacks (those suckers are harder than they look when you're this fat) but I.  Did.  A.  Thing.

 

Here's to it being the first of very, very many.  I'm not sure I'll be doing much else today...but I.  DID.  IT.

[lordave the brewmaster]

WTG moose!

[Elastigirl]

Woot for doing the workout!

For the plank: Try doing it against the wall. 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Well done Moose! So glad you found a good starting point!

[Lemynaded]

21 hours ago, moose004 said:

I want to thank you SO MUCH for this.  I had no idea about it.  And that, combined with the posters' encouragement (and the fact the wife took the kid and went on a trip for a couple days and left me alone in the house) got me off my tail.

 

I just finished my first Beginner Bodyweight Workout.  Everything but the plank, and that's mainly because I'm not sure I could get back off the floor if I went down.  But the rest of it--10 assisted squats, 10 wall pushups, 10 x2 dumbbell rows, 10 good mornings, 10 x2 walking jacks, whole thing x2--I did it.  My heart rate got up to 160, my legs were giving out at the end of the walking jacks (those suckers are harder than they look when you're this fat) but I.  Did.  A.  Thing.

 

Here's to it being the first of very, very many.  I'm not sure I'll be doing much else today...but I.  DID.  IT.

 

 

 

hol up... let me give you a

 

HELL YEAH, KEEP IT UP!!!!

[FrantiQ]

Well done mate!! Just came across this post now, awesome to read you DID THAT THING!

How've you been doing since?

[Downward Facing Jackass]

I’m new too and I hope you’re doing okay! Baby steps and all that! Be kind to yourself!