[fearless 2.0]

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

Hey FL. You are doing amazing ❤️

 

Seriously im always so impressed by you. What are you doing this afternoon? xx

dealing with urges rn, went for a good hike with dogs. will go to bed early!  thanks Sal!

[Salinger]

1 hour ago, fearless 2.0 said:

dealing with urges rn, went for a good hike with dogs. will go to bed early!  thanks Sal!

 

You can do it FL ❤️ one step at a time. 

 

Where did you go on the hike? Next weekend we can go further afield with Bronze wooooo xx

[fearless 2.0]

didnt sleep at all, relapsed and actually dug the pack of smokes out of the garbage to lit one. They taste like shit now.

called my doctor to get my medication adjusted to be able to sleep again today and get through work. she will call me back later.

have to wait for retirement money on Thursday before I can buy either nicotine replacement or fags.

now Im kinda in limbo and dead tired.

will teach the kid later, then go straight back to bed around 7pm

detox with a history of mental health challenges is tough, you can't force yourself too much because then you get unbalanced mentally which makes it kinda impossible to decide anything in a healthy way.

 

[Salinger]

Hey FL, just facebooked you my friend 

 

Sending love xx

[fearless 2.0]

Good morning, favorite nerds!

 

Its 5:30am here and Im having a nice mug of coffee.

 

have reread my thread and am amused about how I again ended up with completely different goals ...  

 

I dont have to worry about dopamine right now, my medication is giving me a higher level and I am allowed to stay on Wellbutrin for a bit. Still use walking and cold showers though.

 

I was pretty broke and ended up not having money for cheese and meat. I had a keto break until yesterday and gained 4 kg. not smoking didnt make it easier. aaaahhhhhhhrrrrrrggggg!

my goal to prep for NANOWRIMO turned into prep for the trainings I was booked to do for groups of social workers, which happen in October.

 

Instead I arrived at 4 months as a non drinker and tried several times to stop smoking as well. I made some progress but relapsed.

My days are filled with more activities than during the last challenges, mainly because I teach more. I use my recovery group daily to focus on living a more balanced life.

Right now Im adding strategies for more self care into my days. I have made myself a little yoga/foamroll/stretching corner in one room and have begun working on my tight calves.

yesterday I was paid and made a huge food haul at a discounter. Now my fridge is filled with keto foods again and I will prep food later. 

 

Both my achilles tendons are inflamed for the umpteenth time. Still walking the dog though.

 

Right now Im considering when to finish my SMART facilitator training. I have to graduate before the end of the year ( time limit) and need to put some time aside for studying. I would also still  love to do NANOWRIMO just because of the community and competitive energy. Writing by myself can get a bit lonely. 

 

Found myself a hypnotist in Hamburg. They are the leading members of the German association of medical hypnosis. I reached out to them and will do a smoking cessation session as soon as they can fit me into their schedule. The question right now is not if I want to stop smoking, but when I can successfully quit. I think of the huge amount of money I would be able to save and get even more motivated.  

 

So basically , things develop completely different than planned but I like the direction Im taking.

 

Finishing this challenge at this point. I am very active in my recovery groups online and want to make sure Im not online all the damn time. For all of you who have followed: thank you so much for your support! I feel guilty for not being around that much. I will definitely not do the next challenge starting in October. Might do the short Xmas challenge in December though. ( wtf! Xmas ????? soon ??)

 

when I come back I will post pictures of me being a lamb... Im growing out my hair and am sporting a ridiculous afro right now.... stay tuned  

 

Bye, friends! I need some more coffee!

 

❤️

Fearless

 

 

 

 

 

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

19 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

So basically , things develop completely different than planned but I like the direction Im taking.

 

Finishing this challenge at this point. I am very active in my recovery groups online and want to make sure Im not online all the damn time. For all of you who have followed: thank you so much for your support! I feel guilty for not being around that much. I will definitely not do the next challenge starting in October. Might do the short Xmas challenge in December though. ( wtf! Xmas ????? soon ??)

 

when I come back I will post pictures of me being a lamb... Im growing out my hair and am sporting a ridiculous afro right now.... stay tuned  

 

Bye, friends! I need some more coffee!

 

❤️

Fearless

 

Sounds like despite the changes, you have a great and productive mindset on how to move forward. You have found a few methods that have not worked and are focusing your energy on the right things (movements, focus groups, etc). Absolutely no need to feel guilty for not checking in here! ((We all need a break occasionally and less screentime isn't a bad thing))

 

Wish you the best as you navigate a slightly different path for now and see you again sometime further down the road.  ❤️

[MaeradCase]

On 9/28/2022 at 11:08 PM, fearless 2.0 said:

I would also still  love to do NANOWRIMO just because of the community and competitive energy. Writing by myself can get a bit lonely. 

Hope your challenge-free period has been going well. 

Are you gearing up for NaNoWriMo? I'm pretty excited about it!