[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I hope you feel better and avoid the sinus infection.

[fearless 2.0]

how do you feel today possum? ❤️

good that you resorted to resting! I do that too! 

HUG

[KB Girl]

Did you get properly sick? Feel better soon! 

[Silmarilliane]

Hope you're feeling better 🤞

[Salinger]

Sending loads of love Harriet xx

[Harriet]

On 9/15/2022 at 9:34 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope you feel better and avoid the sinus infection.

 

Thanks, Tank

 

On 9/16/2022 at 11:29 AM, fearless 2.0 said:

how do you feel today possum? ❤️

good that you resorted to resting! I do that too! 

HUG

 

Hi Fearless, I'm doing okay.

 

On 9/18/2022 at 10:59 PM, KB Girl said:

Did you get properly sick? Feel better soon! 

 

I am a little sick, but getting better. Thanks!

 

2 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

Hope you're feeling better 🤞

 

I'm improving, thanks!

 

2 hours ago, Salinger said:

Sending loads of love Harriet xx

 

Thanks, Sal!

 

 

I did the art on Thursday and Friday despite being sick, but didn't feel like posting, sorry. I took a couple of days off the art and everything because I was exhausted and had stuff to do. My brother brought his new boyfriend for dinner, which was a big deal because he's super duper crazy infatuated and it seems like it's going to be serious so I wanted to be very welcoming and make a good impression. I then had to take the cats to the vet on Monday. Unfortunately one cat has hyperthyroidism and high blood pressure, so she needs to take meds while we decide what to do next, and we need to do more tests soon. 

 

But I did two hours of art today, but nothing else. Hoping to fix the sleep and continue getting better.

[fearless 2.0]

Im so sorry you feel so shitty atm! congrats to getting so much stuff done in spite of it! I imagine it must have been fun hanging out with the gay couple tho, often my gay friends are just so adorable...

Me and another friend have trouble sleeping well too. totally hear you!

HUG my possum!

[Silmarilliane]

Totally fair not to post if you don't feel like it. Sorry to hear the pusscat needs to go on meds as well  hopefully they're easily manageable.

Hope you're still enjoying the art too - sometimes feeling rough makes me lose enjoyment in everything...

[Harriet]

6 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

Totally fair not to post if you don't feel like it. Sorry to hear the pusscat needs to go on meds as well  hopefully they're easily manageable.

Hope you're still enjoying the art too - sometimes feeling rough makes me lose enjoyment in everything...

 

Thanks. Yeah, still feeling super scattered for some reason. So I'm alive, but not commenty.

 

13 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

Im so sorry you feel so shitty atm! congrats to getting so much stuff done in spite of it!

 

Thanks! Although I did little today. Balance, I suppose.

 

13 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

I imagine it must have been fun hanging out with the gay couple tho, often my gay friends are just so adorable...

 

My brother is awesome, for sure, but it's because he's smart and funny and caring.

[KB Girl]

Hope you continue to feel better!

did you end up making a good impression? And did you like his new boyfriend? Very important if he’s a keeper  

[Harriet]

4 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Hope you continue to feel better!

did you end up making a good impression? And did you like his new boyfriend? Very important if he’s a keeper  

 

Thanks. Yes, exactly. He seems like a really nice, decent dude. And he laughed at my jokes so we're all good.

[Harriet]

Damnit I don't know what's wrong with me I've just been playing the video game for two days. I will try to scrape myself together and do journaling/art/NF tomorrow.

[Mistr]

I am glad to hear you have been doing well. One of my previous cats had hyperthyroidism and high blood pressure. She was fine with the thyroid pills, but hated the blood pressure pills.  However, the pills worked and made her life much happier. 

 

I hope you can find some interesting German shows to listen to.  I am looking for podcasts in French. My brain wants to use English pronounciation when I read, even though I know better. Listening is a whole different thing. One of my friends recommended listening to familiar movies. That way you already have an idea of what people are supposed to be saying, which makes it easier.

 

I get the same thing with video games, especially when I have been pushing hard to get things done for a while. Video games are designed to be engaging. No surprise that they are more fun than anything that takes effort.

[KB Girl]

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Thanks. Yes, exactly. He seems like a really nice, decent dude. And he laughed at my jokes so we're all good.

Excellent!  

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

Damnit I don't know what's wrong with me I've just been playing the video game for two days. I will try to scrape myself together and do journaling/art/NF tomorrow.

you can do it ❤️

[Silmarilliane]

15 hours ago, Harriet said:

I will try to scrape myself together and do journaling/art/NF tomorrow.

 

🤞but also don't give yourself a hard time if you don't

[Salinger]

Hey Harriet, how you been ?

 

Did you manage to do any more art? xx

[Harriet]

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

I am glad to hear you have been doing well. One of my previous cats had hyperthyroidism and high blood pressure. She was fine with the thyroid pills, but hated the blood pressure pills.  However, the pills worked and made her life much happier. 

 

Oh, that's interesting. You went for pills rather than the liquid? I find it hard to get the cats to eat worming pills--they eat around them and cannot be tricked. But maybe if the sugar coated thyroid pills are better it would work...

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

I hope you can find some interesting German shows to listen to.  I am looking for podcasts in French. My brain wants to use English pronounciation when I read, even though I know better. Listening is a whole different thing. One of my friends recommended listening to familiar movies. That way you already have an idea of what people are supposed to be saying, which makes it easier.

 

That's exactly what I'm doing--a very familiar audiobook. I tried to listen to something less familiar and it was too quick.

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

I get the same thing with video games, especially when I have been pushing hard to get things done for a while. Video games are designed to be engaging. No surprise that they are more fun than anything that takes effort.

 

Yeah. They're most appealing after I've been working at other things. Then I play them too much and other things are more interesting.

 

19 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Excellent!  

 

you can do it ❤️

 

Thanks! I did it!

 

6 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

🤞but also don't give yourself a hard time if you don't

 

I won't if I don't. But I did!

 

4 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Harriet, how you been ?

 

Did you manage to do any more art? xx

 

I got some practice in yeah!

[Harriet]

Woke at 2am with another doom alert about brother's sugar. Took another hour to get back to sleep. I'm a bit pissed because I'm pretty sure it was him going out to dinner and drinking too much with his boyfriend for an event. The problem with alcohol is... if a type 1 diabetic gets really low blood sugar, he'll be flooded with adrenaline which prompts the liver to release stored glycogen. But this can't happen if the liver is busy processing alcohol. So alcohol could potentially make a non-fatal hypo into a fatal hypo. My brother won't quit alcohol because he feels he has "given up too much" already but I disagree and I think he should quit firstly because it could fucking kill him and secondly because I don't want to be woken up once per month in a panic when I'm already exhausted and have trouble falling asleep. He's controlling his sugar really badly recently and I'm trying to convince him to stick to an eating plan where he eats the same two or three breakfasts and lunches every day and knows the weights and everything. It's what I do so I know it's not that hard and actually relieves the cognitive load of deciding and shopping and cooking. I just can't imagine having such a deadly disease not doing everything in my power to control it. But on the other hand, if I had to manage type 1 all day every day I would probably be an exhausted panicked mess so I shouldn't criticise too much.

 

Anyway, I wrote up a schedule and tried to follow it tightly despite being tired. It didn't quite work but I got most of it done: journalling outside (sunlight on eyes for wakeyuppiness), two blocks of art, groceries, chores, 1 block reading, 1.5 blocks of writing, longer walk (wanted to do gym but remembered I paid for a cheaper membership where I have to show up before 2pm. Must redesign schedule) and 30 min German.

I think following a schedule is maybe easier than trying to decide to do worthwhile things. It's easier than I thought it would be. It reduces my hunger and eating somewhat. And I still intend to play video games tonight.

[Harriet]

I did the whole planned schedule today!

 

8:30-9:00 journal outside (for sunlight on eyes)

9-10 art

10-11 art

11-12 gym

12-1 reading

1-2 chores

2-3 writing

3-4 writing

4-5 walk, german listening.

Obviously the blocks are more like 40-50 minutes so I can do things like eat, make tea, etc. And things spilled over--the gym took more like 1:20 so I spent less time on reading and chores. It requires a certain amount of focus to get through everything and not get trapped in transitional moments like I usually do. But I managed quite well. Either I have more energy and strength than in the past, or a whole day of usefulness is not as hard as I thought it would be. I am trying to get efficient with all the little things that eat up the transitional time (and energy)--getting dressed, feeding and medicating the cats, cooking, that sort of thing.

It was nice to go back to the gym. Just bench press today. No plan, just worked up to a hard-for-me weight and did a few sets. A rather tiny 32.5kg, and I failed the last rep on the last set. Not surprising given I was never very strong to start with and haven't lifted consistently for three years since covid started. It doesn't matter. I need to develop consistency before I have the right to concern myself with progress on the actual weights. Also, I like the actual process of pressing a difficult-for-me weight, regardless of how much it is.

 

[fearless 2.0]

good lord! you kicking some serious ass over here! super!!!

 

the notification during the night sounds super stressful!!! can someone else be the receiver of those alarms??? I couldnt handle that at all, love and all aside...

which gym are u a member of?

HUG, my possum!

[KB Girl]

5 hours ago, Harriet said:

Also, I like the actual process of pressing a difficult-for-me weight, regardless of how much it is.

That’s a very important factor for achieving that consistency id say  

Also 32,5 for reps at your weight is not so bad, definitely above average, great re-starting point.

[Mad Hatter]

Yay for feeling better and getting back to the gym! 

[Harriet]

17 hours ago, KB Girl said:

That’s a very important factor for achieving that consistency id say  

Also 32,5 for reps at your weight is not so bad, definitely above average, great re-starting point.

 

I suppose you're right. It's just annoying to be at a starting point five years after I discovered lifting. My own fault, of course, but still.

 

7 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Yay for feeling better and getting back to the gym! 

Yay!!!!

[Harriet]

22 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

good lord! you kicking some serious ass over here! super!!!

 

Thank you, darling!

 

22 hours ago, fearless 2.0 said:

the notification during the night sounds super stressful!!! can someone else be the receiver of those alarms??? I couldnt handle that at all, love and all aside...

 

I mean, who's going to look after my brother if not me? 🤷‍♀️ But I am going to adjust the settings once I understand the numbers better, because he has been at 45 repeatedly and not unconscious, so maybe I can set it a bit lower. The idea is to check on him and call his roommates if he doesn't answer in case he's unconscious and needs to be administered with glucagon or taken to hospital.

[Harriet]

I was pretty tired when I woke up, and it didn't shift at all. I still did most of my schedule but dropped the walk, ate some unplanned peanut butter and butter and swapped chores for a nap:

 

8:30 journal outside

9 art

10 art

11 gym

12 reading

1 nap

2 writing

3 writing

4 German, naalbinden, and a shower.

 

I set my timer for 45 minutes for my blocks of art and writing, to give time for tea, food, etc. At the gym I just did some cable rows. Up to 50kg, I think. Or is it 50lb? 50 units on the cable thingy, anyway.

 

I note that it is easier to gauge my level of exhaustion when I have things to do. I have actual tasks to measure against rather than a featureless expanse of indolence. Neither the nap nor the peanut butter helped much, and I am hoping tomorrow will be better. But I did still get satisfaction from my activities, and they drove away awareness of the exhaustion (and muscle pain, which has returned) for considerable chunks of time.