[WolfDreamer]

Having dropped off the forum for a while during the last challenge, I think I am ready to start this challenge strong. My goal for this challenge is to clear my mind of clutter and to nurture my wild heart. Below are some tasks I plan to complete in order to do that.

 

 

 

1. Wake up before everyone else -- The quietest moments in my house are before everyone else gets up. Essentially, I need to wake up early enough for quiet time to do the following:

• scripture/poetry/philosophy reading
• meditation/prayer
• breath work

 

 

2. Consume content that clears my mind -- Read, listen to, and watch anything that lifts my spirits and helps cleanse my mind.

• books
• podcasts, lectures, guided meditations
• videos

 

 

3. Exercise as Therapy -- I plan to also use my fitness practice as a way to clear my mind.

• Darebee Daily Dare
• functional movements/workouts
• trail running
• Yoga

 

And that about covers it. Short, simple, but also direct and targeted.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Trails as therapy is one of my coping skills (course, I walk on them, but the trails are there, none the less).

[WolfDreamer]

As an example to how my plans often derail... story time.

 

Last night before bed, I set my alarm for my usual 4:15 am wakeup. Yes, I know that's pretty early, but it gives me just over an hour of quiet solitude. However, around 3:00 am my wife woke me up, and I could hear the concern in her voice. "Come here," she said from the hallway. She led me to the bathroom and said, "I can hear water dripping." The sound was coming from near the toilet. I had to lean close to listen. The floor was dry, but there was a hollow dripping sound. I realized it seemed to be coming from beneath the floor, so I had to go through the access door to the crawl space under our house to make sure there wasn't a water leak. Fortunately, it was just the sound of water dripping in the sewer line, likely from where one of our kids had used the bathroom before my wife.

 

Unfortunately, it took some time not get back to sleep after this. I ended up resetting my alarm and didn't wake up until 5:15, which did not give me much quiet time alone. I did take a cold shower, however.

 

I started listening to a series of lectures by my favorite poet, David Whyte, called Clear Mind, Wild Heart: Finding Courage and Clarity Through Poetry. I finished the first lecture, and it is really inspiring and... reassuring. I am moved by both David's words and the words of the poets he shares in his lectures. Expect to see a lot of David's poetry during this challenge, as well.

 

Sometimes

by David Whyte

 

Sometimes
if you move carefully
through the forest

breathing
like the ones
in the old stories

who could cross
a shimmering bed of dry leaves
without a sound,

you come
to a place
whose only task

is to trouble you
with tiny
but frightening requests

conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.

Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and

to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,

questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,

questions
that have patiently
waited for you,

questions
that have no right
to go away.

 

[WolfDreamer]

This is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful videos on Youtube:

 

 

[Sovalis]

I am glad the drip wasn’t a leak. 

 

Thank you for the poem and video. I will enjoy following your challenge immensely, I think. Here to cheer you on!

[WolfDreamer]

• Woke up on my own this morning. When I checked the time, I was surprised to see that it was 4:14 am, which means my body just sort of knew it was time.
• Sat outside on the front porch (in spite of the 34F temperature) and noticed the glint of the streetlights on the frosty grass.
• I spent some time in contemplative prayer and read the poem "Adult" by Linda Gregg:

I’ve come back to the country where I was happy

changed.  Passion puts no terrible strain on me now.

I wonder what will take the place of desire.

I could be the ghost of my own life returning

to the places I lived best. Walking here and there,

nodding when I see something I cared for deeply.

Now I’m in my house listening to the owls calling

and wondering if slowly I will take on flesh again.

~ from A Book of Luminous Things, edited by Czeslaw Milosz (Harcourt Brace and Company, 1996)

• worked out with resistance bands for 15 minutes
• made plans today to read some of my poems during Open Mic Night next Thursday at my favorite coffee shop, Coal River Coffee. 

[WolfDreamer]

 

Week 1, Day 1 (Sunday):

• Sunday is a restful day for me. I slept in until around 7:30 am. Then I took the dogs outside and enjoyed the cool morning air soon to be broken by warm sunrise.
• I read some poetry, really enjoying the imagery of a poem by Steve Kowit titled "What Cord Did She Pluck." I'll include it in the spoiler below if you'd like to read it.

Spoiler

What cord did she pluck in my soul

that girl with the golden necklace

& ivory breasts

whose body ignited the river:

she who rose like the moon

from her bathing &

brushed back the ebony hair

that fell to her waist

& walked off

into the twilight dark--

O my soul,

what cord did she pluck

that I am still trembling.

 

• Sat in contemplative silence and watched the morning sun light up my stretch of the neighborhood. 
• still listening to Clear Mind, Wild Heart from David Whyte.
• completed the Daily Dare
• no full workout since it's a rest day
• took my son to a birthday party at Sky Zone. I did not jump, but I enjoyed a 15 minute massage in one of the massage chairs

Day 2 (Monday):

• woke up before my alarm at 4:13 am
• guided contemplative prayer was about the story of Jesus healing a crippled woman, and the meditation asked me to consider what the woman's experience of the world would be like being constantly "bowed over," and to reflect on the burdens that are weighing me down ("bowing" me over). Then to have Christ "see" me the way he "sees" the woman and to consider what he would call me: friend? brother? I'm still wrestling with that one.
• read some poetry; the poem "Cremation" by Robinson Jeffers really struck me, since cremation is something I am considering for my own end-of-life plans. I will post the poem in a spoiler below (and I highly recommend you read it):

Spoiler

It nearly cancels my fear of death, my dearest said,
When I think of cremation.  To rot in the earth
Is a loathsome end, but to roar up in flame – besides, I
          am used to it,
I have flamed with love or fury so often in my life,
No wonder my body is tired, no wonder it is dying.
We had a great joy of my body.  Scatter the ashes.

• completed the Daily Dare
• 15 minute workout using my 25 lb. aqua bag and 8 lb. medicine ball
• took the dogs outside while barefoot and shirtless and stood still, feeling the cool earth beneath my feet
• continuing to listen to Clear Mind, Wild Heart; I also joined a book club at work, and the selected book is Hail Mary by Andy Weir.
• my neighbor and close friend received a Schwinn Admiral bicycle from an old man he delivered to, but since he is on the road all the time for work, my friend generously donated the bike to me. I love it. It's isn't old but is a classic Schwinn cruiser design, with a basket on the front and a rack on the back. Yesterday, I took my son on a bike ride across the river to my home town, pedaling up the bridge until we had to walk, and then we mounted and rode down the other side at near full-speed. Then I took him across the railroad tracks and found myself compelled, then, to ride old back streets I haven't traveled since childhood, streets I have no desire to revisit in a car, but on the seat of a bike it was a thrilling, nostalgic experience that soothed my soul. I was reminded why I love riding a bike so much: the brushing of wind on my face, going fast enough to feel the thrill but slow enough to experience the surrounding environment.

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Are you back from that bike ride yet?

[Sovalis]

How’s it going, Dreamer? 

[WolfDreamer]

On 11/9/2022 at 3:54 PM, Sovalis said:

How’s it going, Dreamer? 

 

Thank you for the check in. I would like to say it is going well, but my mental health has... hit a standstill, if that makes sense? I wouldn't say I'm in a dark place, but I just feel... bleh. And it has been exacerbated by the weather and the viral cold that I caught last week. But I'm here, and I did join a challenge that starts this week that I'm excited to start. I also have a kettlebell coming in the mail this week (an early Christmas gift from my daughter).

 

On 10/30/2022 at 6:44 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Are you back from that bike ride yet?

 

Yes, I'm back. 😆 Sorry to keep you in suspense.

 

The challenge I joined is a virtual 100 day 270 mile challenge. I will run 2.7 miles every day for 100 days. Knowing winter is coming, I ordered a new toboggan and gloves to keep my head and hands warm. I already have a mask to wear to keep from breathing too much cold air. And, since I have a kettlebell coming, I plan to start one of Darebee's kettlebell training programs. Hopefully I will post more often. I don't have an excuse other than for the past few challenges I have dropped the ball, and then the shame spiral starts, and I struggle to post that I failed, even when my challenges don't really involve success or failure.

 

I am grateful to those of you who follow me and look for my updates. I'll do better, I promise. I just ask for patience and understanding.