[Epsilonte]

On 11/2/2022 at 9:04 PM, Mad Hatter said:

The two moves that are a bitch are fan legs, where you scissor the legs in front of you, which I claim is the hardest beginner move ever. (Fight me @Epsilonte 😜) 

Not easy, true, killer ab-workout though.

 

On 11/3/2022 at 7:22 PM, Mad Hatter said:

I'm honestly amazed at the lack of interest in this class. It was advertised as a heels class with a horror theme and apparently that's not a thing people are into?

Ooooh I love these.

 

On 11/3/2022 at 7:22 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Also loved making the costume! And by making I meant stabbing an old skirt to death and covering myself with scraps. And by old I meant a skirt I sewed myself when I was a bridesmaid and it was really, really pretty fluffy silk and tulle number. It got tonnes of compliments to the two weddings I wore it to, and it also felt really nice to wear, it had a lovely weight to it. And now it's a butchered mess and killing  the nicest thing I ever made was immensely satisfying.

I demand pictures, please.

 

 

[KB Girl]

On 11/3/2022 at 8:49 AM, Mad Hatter said:

I wouldn't know, hadn't had a period in years! Thank you IUD. 😄 Or maybe I should say, thank you for your service, I'm getting it removed next week. 😬 Wee bit nervous! But I feel like now that I'm getting old it makes sense to get a better picture of what's going on hormonally. 

Ohh really. One of my athletes hasn't had a period in years either, but after a while we figured out that she still has an hormonal effect where she would be very negative and weepy about not great training sessions every 4 weeks or so. Anything in particular you're looking for, hormonally? 

 

On 11/3/2022 at 7:22 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Also loved making the costume! And by making I meant stabbing an old skirt to death and covering myself with scraps. And by old I meant a skirt I sewed myself when I was a bridesmaid and it was really, really pretty fluffy silk and tulle number. It got tonnes of compliments to the two weddings I wore it to, and it also felt really nice to wear, it had a lovely weight to it. And now it's a butchered mess and killing  the nicest thing I ever made was immensely satisfying. 

That is a bit weird and made me smile  

 

Did your weekend plans avoid ruination? 

[Mad Hatter]

On 11/4/2022 at 10:47 PM, Harriet said:

Ah, best of bug-fighting-off to you.

Turns it it wasn't my body but my head...

 

On 11/5/2022 at 1:40 AM, Epsilonte said:

Not easy, true, killer ab-workout though.

 

Ooooh I love these.

 

I demand pictures, please.

I couldn't find any of the wedding pictures but I took a bad souvenir photo with off colours before the chopping commenced. 

 

 

On 11/7/2022 at 10:23 PM, KB Girl said:

Ohh really. One of my athletes hasn't had a period in years either, but after a while we figured out that she still has an hormonal effect where she would be very negative and weepy about not great training sessions every 4 weeks or so. Anything in particular you're looking for, hormonally?

I've looked into correlations in mood in the past but any monthly effect is dwarfed by either longer circles or complete randomness. No particular effect, but I feel like it'd be good to know if for example I'd hit early perimenopause. Not that I have a reason to think so, but it could be good to just be more aware of hormonal states in general? I could also hate it and change my mind in 3 months time. 

[Mad Hatter]

On 11/7/2022 at 10:23 PM, KB Girl said:

Did your weekend plans avoid ruination? 

No ruination, just saw some friends on the Saturday. Vibes felt a bit off though, not sure why. But it was nice. 

 

On Sunday I was supposed to go to a kid's birthday and then pole, but instead I stayed at home. My energy levels were just so very low I still thought I might be fighting something and didn't want to risk it. But mostly I really didn't wanna. November is hitting like a sledgehammer and I wish I could just leave tomorrow like I did last year. It's so cold, and dark and gloomy and it's been raining for like 2 weeks straight and I hate everything. Today I woke up in tears after a dream which I can't remember but that triggered an intense longing for sunshine and being barefoot in grass. My pole friend kindly reminded me that it's only the 9th and I'm already worryingly deep in the hole. Today in class I almost broke down, but managed to save it for when I got home. The entire time I was going through the motions and trying to detach from my head to not feel but it really wasn't working. And then my teacher got sooooo excited about how well the class was doing and I felt like everything was a lie and that she was talking about everybody else and that I was a fake. Objectively in the video you can't really tell what's going inside my head and objectively it's fine, a bit clunky because I don't know the timings yet but much better than last week for sure. But feelings and objectivity don't play nice. Same in tech class, I felt so low on energy yet I could do most of the things quite comfortably. At least now I know that I'm not getting sick which means I have no reason not to go to class.

 

Oh also Yvonne Smink was hanging out at the studio today and I got a bit starstruck and didn't know what to say. 😄 She's an incredible pole dancer, super creative and incorporates a lot of street dance into her art. Signed up for two workshops, should be good! 

Goals-wise I'm doing ok on the goal that matters, which is to get my shit in order. The other ones I'm failing at. But I did unlock ascension 20 on my first character in StS so that's something (and might've won had I not forgotten to pick up the last stupid key). And I put together my first infinite which are conceptually easy to but my feeble brain struggles to spot. But after all these hours I still feel stupid about the game and that it's all pure luck... Guess that's why it keeps me interested!

[Harriet]

34 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

My energy levels were just so very low I still thought I might be fighting something and didn't want to risk it. But mostly I really didn't wanna. November is hitting like a sledgehammer and I wish I could just leave tomorrow like I did last year. It's so cold, and dark and gloomy and it's been raining for like 2 weeks straight and I hate everything. Today I woke up in tears after a dream which I can't remember but that triggered an intense longing for sunshine and being barefoot in grass. My pole friend kindly reminded me that it's only the 9th and I'm already worryingly deep in the hole. Today in class I almost broke down, but managed to save it for when I got home. The entire time I was going through the motions and trying to detach from my head to not feel but it really wasn't working. And then my teacher got sooooo excited about how well the class was doing and I felt like everything was a lie and that she was talking about everybody else and that I was a fake. Objectively in the video you can't really tell what's going inside my head and objectively it's fine, a bit clunky because I don't know the timings yet but much better than last week for sure. But feelings and objectivity don't play nice. Same in tech class, I felt so low on energy yet I could do most of the things quite comfortably. At least now I know that I'm not getting sick which means I have no reason not to go to class.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the dark, low and rainy badness. Does this happen to you every winter? Because it doesn't sound very good. Would it be totally impossible to move somewhere sunnier? Some people are just hit a lot harder by darkness and seasonal affective disorder. I have a friend with it and she takes mega doses of vitamin D and has a sun lamp, but it sounds like a real burden and obviously real sun would be better.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Gosh Hatter, that sounds awful. Seasonal Depression is no joke and I'm sorry it's hitting you.

[KB Girl]

That does not sound fun  

Does your commitment to the pole class keep you from hurrying along the time line for getting on a plane?

Workshops from someone you feel a bit star struck by do sound really good! When are they?

[Epsilonte]

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Signed up for two workshops, should be good! 

Ooooh enjoy!! I had the pleasure of doing a workshop with her several years ago and we did so much weird stuff, but it was awesome and something completely different and I loved it.  

Also love your costume, it's awesome!!

 

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

November is hitting like a sledgehammer and I wish I could just leave tomorrow like I did last year. It's so cold, and dark and gloomy and it's been raining for like 2 weeks straight and I hate everything. Today I woke up in tears after a dream which I can't remember but that triggered an intense longing for sunshine and being barefoot in grass.

I feel this so much. ❤️ Have a big hug ❤️ 

[Elastigirl]

Sorry you are struggling.  SAD can be so tough. 

[Tobbe]

I'm guessing there's not much you don't already know, but just because it's a NF post:

https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/is-seasonal-affective-disorder-a-real-thing-how-to-slay-the-sad-beast/

[Mad Hatter]

22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Gosh Hatter, that sounds awful. Seasonal Depression is no joke and I'm sorry it's hitting you.

Thanks, appreciated.

 

21 hours ago, KB Girl said:

That does not sound fun  

Does your commitment to the pole class keep you from hurrying along the time line for getting on a plane?

Workshops from someone you feel a bit star struck by do sound really good! When are they?

Nope. Combo of pole classes, friends, not wanting to deal with my stuff (when I made the plan) and also not expecting the hard hit.

 

End of the month!  

 

21 hours ago, Epsilonte said:

Ooooh enjoy!! I had the pleasure of doing a workshop with her several years ago and we did so much weird stuff, but it was awesome and something completely different and I loved it.  

Also love your costume, it's awesome!!

 

I feel this so much. ❤️ Have a big hug ❤️ 

Cool!

 

Noooo that's not a costume! That was the skirt in the before times, which I wore to two weddings. Obviously with a different top and not a bralette.  

 

❤️

 

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Sorry you are struggling.  SAD can be so tough. 

It's what it is it...

 

36 minutes ago, Tobbe said:

I'm guessing there's not much you don't already know, but just because it's a NF post:

https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/is-seasonal-affective-disorder-a-real-thing-how-to-slay-the-sad-beast/

Yeah no. Also I instantly hate people who tell me to go outside to get some light when there is none.  

[Mad Hatter]

Funnily enough yesterday's breakdown was quite cathartic and I feel much better today. Far from perfect but pretty alright. 

 

In the morning I had my IUD removed and it was surprisingly pleasant considering with some good conversation and cracking jokes. But I'm already having second thoughts, if there are any side effects I don't know about are they really worse than having to deal with periods? And it seems unlikely anyway + multi protected sex is better than single protected... And my "concern" about not realizing what hormonal things are going on are not actually valid... Anyways, I'll ponder later, I have time.

 

In the afternoon I went back to the studio for two new classes with a new teacher.  First was low pole, which was very enjoyable but, ah, lulled me into a false sense of security, because the heels class afterwards absolutely wrecked me. I don't understand how to move my body at that speed! And is this not supposed to ever get easier?  I love watching this teacher move though, you can tell that she's a performer and she makes the choreo look so good.

[Mad Hatter]

23 hours ago, Harriet said:

I'm sorry to hear about the dark, low and rainy badness. Does this happen to you every winter? Because it doesn't sound very good. Would it be totally impossible to move somewhere sunnier? Some people are just hit a lot harder by darkness and seasonal affective disorder. I have a friend with it and she takes mega doses of vitamin D and has a sun lamp, but it sounds like a real burden and obviously real sun would be better.

Almost missed this! Yes it does happen every winter, but it's not all winter more like 1-2 slumps of varying lengths and intensities. It often happens in summer too though and sometimes another shorter bout in spring. So I'm not sure it's actually SAD but that the darkness is a trigger (though in practice I guess it's the same thing). I haven't been down in a very long time though, I missed last year's by escaping to Spain, and when I got back I was abnormally angry. So that's different. What's also been different the past two years though is that it hit me really hard and really fast. Which in a way is good because at least I know what it is compared to the slow creep which is more typical. It's easier to ignore or compartmentalize mood vs gremlin when you know what's happening. 

 

But yes this is why I'm escaping again. That plus Finland is not exactly unemployment friendly.  A lot of my life is here and the past few years have demonstrated that Finland is a pretty decent country to live in compared to other countries. But I can't with the darkness. So for now I'm gonna travel and then we'll see. I wouldn't mind living here part time, but I could also see myself moving somewhere else.

[Elastigirl]

I wonder if part of it is just normal depression/processing the big change in your life as you move jobs. Finland looks lovely,  but man I don't think I could cope with the winters. Ever so once in a while, I say something to my husband about how cool it would be to live in Alaska, and he just laughs and says I'd last about one week in the winter.😀

[GoodDoug]

22 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

And is this not supposed to ever get easier?

It never gets easier, you just get better.

[Harriet]

22 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Almost missed this! Yes it does happen every winter, but it's not all winter more like 1-2 slumps of varying lengths and intensities. It often happens in summer too though and sometimes another shorter bout in spring. So I'm not sure it's actually SAD but that the darkness is a trigger (though in practice I guess it's the same thing). I haven't been down in a very long time though, I missed last year's by escaping to Spain, and when I got back I was abnormally angry. So that's different. What's also been different the past two years though is that it hit me really hard and really fast. Which in a way is good because at least I know what it is compared to the slow creep which is more typical. It's easier to ignore or compartmentalize mood vs gremlin when you know what's happening. 

 

It helps to know it's a thing that happens to you, rather than an objective reflection of real terribleness in the world. At least, it helps me a little. That's something I gained by noting how things get better and worse. It wasn't possible when things were uniformly bad.

 

22 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

 

But yes this is why I'm escaping again. That plus Finland is not exactly unemployment friendly.  A lot of my life is here and the past few years have demonstrated that Finland is a pretty decent country to live in compared to other countries. But I can't with the darkness. So for now I'm gonna travel and then we'll see. I wouldn't mind living here part time, but I could also see myself moving somewhere else.

If you've left your job, and the climate has a severe effect on your health, it seems like planning a move might be very prudent. But I guess it would also be good to check that it doesn't actually happen in other climates, and that would probably require longer stays, right?

[Mad Hatter]

22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I wonder if part of it is just normal depression/processing the big change in your life as you move jobs. Finland looks lovely,  but man I don't think I could cope with the winters. Ever so once in a while, I say something to my husband about how cool it would be to live in Alaska, and he just laughs and says I'd last about one week in the winter.😀

Honestly it doesn’t really matter. As for work I already left that place mentally far far behind me! (Though I’m technically still on the payroll 😜) I went out with a bang on my last day and now I’m done, don’t even think about it anymore. The slow burn rage quit made it a smooth transition. 🙂I think Alaska is about the same level of darkness as Finland, do not recommend 😄 But the winters are absolutely stunning. 
 

34 minutes ago, GoodDoug said:

It never gets easier, you just get better.

Except I still look like I’m a flailing goblin! 😅
 

29 minutes ago, Harriet said:

If you've left your job, and the climate has a severe effect on your health, it seems like planning a move might be very prudent. But I guess it would also be good to check that it doesn't actually happen in other climates, and that would probably require longer stays, right?

It’s not climate dependent, I just think it’s a trigger. These slumps come and go, I’m used to it. 🤷‍♀️

[Mad Hatter]

Today I felt pretty good. And on the plus side the slump kicked me ass into gear about cleaning out my flat. I went through loads of stuff, threw away a bunch, and marked a bunch for recycling. My aim is to fit everything into a storage space of 1.5 m2, which should be doable with aggressive culling. Very tired now though, too much dust!

[Tobbe]

I have a friend who did something similar. He used to live in London, but said "eff this place" after brexit. He packed what he needed into a suitcase. The rest went into storage.  He's been a digital nomad since then. Currently in Thailand for the second time, and he can't stop raving about how awesome it is. He says that things that used to get on his nerves don't even faze him anymore. "You just can't be angry when working from a beach bar".

 

Maybe you could try a warm Asian country too?  

[Jarric]

Well done on the stuff culling; I can't imagine what I would decide to keep if I only had 1.5m2 of storage space to work with.

[Waanie]

On 11/10/2022 at 9:18 PM, Mad Hatter said:

In the morning I had my IUD removed and it was surprisingly pleasant considering with some good conversation and cracking jokes. But I'm already having second thoughts, if there are any side effects I don't know about are they really worse than having to deal with periods? And it seems unlikely anyway + multi protected sex is better than single protected... And my "concern" about not realizing what hormonal things are going on are not actually valid... Anyways, I'll ponder later, I have time.

Well, every form of birth control has side effects, we just don't know what are side-effects from birth control and what not. I remember my period being horrible and the cost of the IUD is about the same as the cost of 5 years of pads and pain killers, but that's different for everyone. There are no right or wrong choices here, and worst comes to worst you just get an IUD again .

[Tobbe]

On 11/12/2022 at 9:10 AM, Waanie said:

Well, every form of birth control has side effects

 

I'm pretty sure Natural Cycles would beg to differ 😉 "Natural Cycles Birth Control | No Hormones or Side Effects" https://www.naturalcycles.com

 

My wife switched from the pill to Natural Cycles. The biggest change she noticed was her sex drive going through the roof about a week every month. Unfortunately for me it's the week she's ovulating, so I have to use protection... But I wouldn't want to eat something that messed with my hormones as much as the pill does, so I also don't want her to do that.

[Mad Hatter]

On 11/11/2022 at 11:00 PM, Tobbe said:

I have a friend who did something similar. He used to live in London, but said "eff this place" after brexit. He packed what he needed into a suitcase. The rest went into storage.  He's been a digital nomad since then. Currently in Thailand for the second time, and he can't stop raving about how awesome it is. He says that things that used to get on his nerves don't even faze him anymore. "You just can't be angry when working from a beach bar".

 

Maybe you could try a warm Asian country too?  

That's kinda the plan.  

 

On 11/11/2022 at 11:59 PM, Jarric said:

Well done on the stuff culling; I can't imagine what I would decide to keep if I only had 1.5m2 of storage space to work with.

Key is to not overthink.

 

On 11/12/2022 at 10:10 AM, Waanie said:

Well, every form of birth control has side effects, we just don't know what are side-effects from birth control and what not. I remember my period being horrible and the cost of the IUD is about the same as the cost of 5 years of pads and pain killers, but that's different for everyone. There are no right or wrong choices here, and worst comes to worst you just get an IUD again .

With the IUD it's not even known how it works.  

 

21 hours ago, Tobbe said:

I'm pretty sure Natural Cycles would beg to differ 😉 "Natural Cycles Birth Control | No Hormones or Side Effects" https://www.naturalcycles.com

 

My wife switched from the pill to Natural Cycles. The biggest change she noticed was her sex drive going through the roof about a week every month. Unfortunately for me it's the week she's ovulating, so I have to use protection... But I wouldn't want to eat something that messed with my hormones as much as the pill does, so I also don't want her to do that.

Ummm I'd beg to differ too. Side effects: STIs, 1 in 15 unwanted pregnancies, periods and investment in time/tech/energy. Besides you can still do this with an IUD. The pill is also quite different from an IUD.

[Mad Hatter]

Making excellent progress with the culling, about 80-90% done! Soooo much stuff trashed or heading to recycling and it feels amazing! Feel lighter with each bag.  

 

Yesterday was a super fun day! I went to a shouldermount workshop and it was very fun with much silliness and many laughs. Shouldermounts felt solid too. Afterwards the whole pole crew got lunch together before hardstyle, which went much better than the first time, though it's still really, really hard. Then I had a third class, at which point my body was still fine but my brain got into shutdown mode.  It's kinda annoying that after I finally found a studio where I'm happy and making friends I'm leaving... But the itch is too strong!

 

[Epsilonte]

Yay for solid shouldermounts!! ❤️