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Sovalis: The Candles are for Burning


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6 hours ago, Gemma said:

Map is fabulous! If I were the author I would be thrilled to place that in the front of my book (softly sings Sommmedaayyyy🎶

Right? Sovalis is blowing us all away with some high quality work! 😍

 

6 hours ago, Gemma said:

I'm a week late to the gingerbread party, but if you have not eaten or discarded these yet you can brush a coat of craft varnish over them and they will keep for YEARS. My town does a gingerbread festival every December and some of the wildly fanciful houses that people create have long healthy lives as home decor. 

That is an awesome tip! And I am immediately in need of observing the results of an annual gingerbread festival. 😃

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16 hours ago, MaeradCase said:

I'm a fan of going into whichever relaxed yoga pose is most comfortable (i.e. child pose, if it doesn't feel uncomfortable) and waiting for the next yoga pose when the one they do is not working out, or when breathing stops being easy (that happens, and it's okay). Modified/beginner forms are perfect for working your way toward what the teacher demonstrates. All the better if the teacher starts with them for the beginners and then says "and if you're comfortable, try extending into this slightly harder form until you're doing the traditional pose."

 

Wishing you the best!!!

Thanks, Maerad! Yeah, I spent a lot of time in forward fold waiting for the things I can’t do (lunges, down dog) to be over so I could try to join into the rest of the flow. My knees really *really* don’t like being on the ground in a kneeling posture, so even Child’s Pose was challenging. But I did the thing and that is what matters. More below. 

 

7 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

That map is gorgeous. Your boss sounds inept- you need to get paid! Mistr is totally right. 

Thanks, Snarky! I did get paid in the end. Yes, Mistr is ABSOLUTELY right and I am doing everything I can to try and get out of here. 

 

6 hours ago, Gemma said:

Map is fabulous! If I were the author I would be thrilled to place that in the front of my book (softly sings Sommmedaayyyy🎶

I'm a week late to the gingerbread party, but if you have not eaten or discarded these yet you can brush a coat of craft varnish over them and they will keep for YEARS. My town does a gingerbread festival every December and some of the wildly fanciful houses that people create have long healthy lives as home decor. 

Thanks, Gemma! That is super useful to know about the varnish. I will have to see what I have or can pick up for that. I love the idea of a gingerbread festival so much. It makes my heart happy to know that is happening somewhere. 

 

6 hours ago, Gemma said:

How did it go?  Every decent yoga teacher I've ever met practically insists that students modify and/or tap out in any way that they need to; no one should ever strain to acheive a position or move into pain in any way, ever. 

It went okay - the instructor was great. I will update more below. 

 

6 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey how did yoga go?? Love xx

It was alright, about what I was expecting. More below. Love!

 

Hi Everyone!

 

So yoga was an experience that intellectually I am glad I had, but emotionally was a little rougher than I had hoped it was going to be. That said, it fell in where I expected it to, so I was prepared for my feelings and was able to process them pretty quickly and completely. 

 

I thought we started at 7, and so was set up and ready to go for then. Saxon was very confused about why I was on the floor and wanted to cuddle and play. He was honestly pretty good for most of the session and considering I was on the mat for an hour and a half between my waiting to begin and the class itself, I don’t have too much to complain about, although he was in the way ~25% of the time. Lol. We started at 7:30 and I had spent ~30 minutes doing gentle stretches and getting used to sitting on the floor before we started. Warm up was fine, although I was very aware of the ways the fat on the top of my butt prevents the small of my back being comfortable when I am laying on my back on a hard surface. I was also super cognizant of my stomach touching my thighs during forward fold and it preventing me from getting the whole stretch I was capable of because it felt like my flesh were binding. Super weird and very visceral reminders “Hey, you’re fat!”. It was a flow class, so there were things I couldn’t do that interrupted the flow aspect of things (I can’t down dog or plank with my hands the way they are, lunges need chair supports in order for me to feel safe and like I am not going to blow out a knee) but I modified as best I could and it went okay. In all I was able to do ~75% of what was asked for and I felt like that was a fair representation of what I was capable of. It was a very easy class compared to other classes I have taken and I am grateful for that because I think anything more would have been demoralizing. I am *not* in good enough shape to add flow to my repertoire right now. I think I could probably do another format, like Yin, that doesn’t emphasize the strengthening postures as much as the stretching postures, but that will be an experiment for future me. I think I am going to stick with the treadmill for now and the Darebee experiments. 

 

After I was done yoga I had my cry and debriefed with a friend of mine who is also a plus sized yogi and that felt better. Then I reheated the leftover chicken satay, red peppers, and rice I had made previously and had it for dinner. I wandered around the kitchen looking for sweets to soothe my hurt feelings and decided to have a small bowl of cut fruit instead of the cookies that were in the pantry, which is mind blowing. Y’all, THERE WERE COOKIES. I ATE FRUIT. Who even am I? So that was a win. I took Dreamlight Valley to bed and played for ~15 minutes before taking some Advil (my right foot was killing me) and settling to sleep.

 

Waking up this morning my foot is still weird but is somewhat better than before so I am happy with that. I went through my pre-work routine and then got here, walked to the bank and post office, and opened up shop. I didn’t eat breakfast at home but had a protein bar here and have some fruit for a snack. Then I have my soup for lunch. Not sure what I am doing for supper tonight. I think I am going to try to treadmill for 10 minutes tonight and see how it goes as I was able to walk to the bank this morning. I won’t put pressure on myself to be fast, but I want to get back on the horse so to speak. The streak of walks not checked off in my chart is a bummer. 

 

That is my update! Hope you are all comfortable in your skins! Thanks for being here! 

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18 minutes ago, MaeradCase said:

I am immediately in need of observing the results of an annual gingerbread festival. 😃

 

12 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I love the idea of a gingerbread festival so much. It makes my heart happy to know that is happening somewhere. 

 

Pictures of last year's winning entries exist here 

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“To see that your life is a story while you're in the middle of living it may be a help to living it well."

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Hi All! 

 

Decided to make oatmeal for supper last night as part of my "use up all the oats in the pantry" resolution for 2023. Unfortunately, the sliced almonds and oats were not enough protein to keep me full and I ended up nosing around for a peanut butter and jam sandwich before I went to bed. So I consider that a supper fail despite it being quite tasty. 

 

I did not get onto the treadmill last night as Martin came over quite early for paint night. We talked about the Canex jobs and he told me the mat leaves would be starting early and late March and that he'd let me know when the jobs get posted. They're part time with a probable max of 30 hours a week, which is four less than I'm getting currently. Alternating mix of days, evenings, and weekends, with hopefully no two weekends in a row and no stranded days off. Because they are a mat leave they're for a year and there's no guarantee I will have a job when it's done. I knew that, but hearing him say it is a little nerve wracking. I like security and predictability. Don't we all? But I think it's still a good move to make. Apparently my Tarot does too, as I pulled the Page of Swords for the third time this month today and that card is about enthusiastic communication and new beginnings. I'm listening. 

 

I've joined a walking group on FitBit connected to some Rebels from the FB page, so that's another layer of interaction and accountability. We are doing a Weekend Warrior challenge this weekend. I'm not going to do huge numbers, but I'm definitely going to try to get my walks in. My foot is feeling almost completely better today which is a relief.

 

Here's a picture of my turtle that I've been painting because I think he's starting to look pretty good:

 

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And a picture of our wild frost that has been building for the last week. It's so thick on the powerlines that the power is flickering occasionally throughout the day:

 

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It's very pretty. I do hope we get some sun soon though, it's been grey for quite a while. 

 

Hope you are all comfy and well hydrated! 💚

 

 

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So pretty! Hope you don't lose power though.

33 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Decided to make oatmeal for supper last night as part of my "use up all the oats in the pantry" resolution for 2023. Unfortunately, the sliced almonds and oats were not enough protein to keep me full and I ended up nosing around for a peanut butter and jam sandwich before I went to bed. So I consider that a supper fail despite it being quite tasty. 

 

I wouldn't call that a fail, I would call it information gathering. You tried it, and now you know that it doesn't keep you full for long enough. I like to put protein powder in my oatmeal, and/or eat some meat alongside it. I've also cooked it with egg whites.I'm not crazy about the texture of egg whites and oatmeat, but it is filling

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I'm sorry the yoga was emotional and difficult. I think in the long run that loving, non judgemental awareness of the body can only be good. So it's cool you're doing it.

I thought the war tortoise was a gingerbread construction for a moment and got really excited. I still like it a lot though :P

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Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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22 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

So pretty! Hope you don't lose power though.

I wouldn't call that a fail, I would call it information gathering. You tried it, and now you know that it doesn't keep you full for long enough. I like to put protein powder in my oatmeal, and/or eat some meat alongside it. I've also cooked it with egg whites.I'm not crazy about the texture of egg whites and oatmeat, but it is filling

We didn't lose power, thankfully, just lots of flickering. I have protein powder, I might try that next. Thanks for the suggestion! 

 

21 hours ago, Everstorm said:

The turtle is looking great!

Thank you! 😁

 

20 hours ago, Kishi said:

That snow is so pretty~! We couldn't handle it down here, so I'm glad I get the chance to admire it via a photo.

It's de rigeur here, but sometimes it's prettier and more endurable than others. Like today! The sun came out and it's extra gorgeous and not too cold! Photo below. 

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

I'm sorry the yoga was emotional and difficult. I think in the long run that loving, non judgemental awareness of the body can only be good. So it's cool you're doing it.

I thought the war tortoise was a gingerbread construction for a moment and got really excited. I still like it a lot though :P

😁 Oh man, now I want to make a gingerbread war tortoise. Goals! Thanks, Harriet. I'm really trying for neutral data gathering and awareness. I've spent a long time being judgemental and it hasn't helped, so time for a different tactic. 

 

Hi Everyone! 

 

The sun came out!! 

 

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What a buoyant relief. And it's not that cold today (-9C) so playing with Sax in the yard before work was fun and pleasant. 

 

I did not walk last night. Just wasn't feeling it when I got home, which I know isn't an excuse, but I gave in and tried other self care. I didn't really have the spoons for cooking so I made a charcuterie plate out of leftovers from the party and then had a bath. I think I have to check my hot water tank because the water wasn't running very hot so that was a disappointing thing. Then I watched OGL commentary for a while before turning that off and playing Dreamlight. Not the best night, but not the worst. 

 

This morning has been good so far. I finally finished the border on the map and emailed the author a scan. He is very happy with it and suggested two tweaks which should be easy enough to do, then it's done. So yay for that. I have to run game tonight and I'm not ready, so I will be digging into that during work hours today. I'd like to walk for a bit, even just ten minutes, tonight before game to get back on the horse. If I don't, I'm worried I won't. Inertia, Ugh. 

 

I need to plan different breakfasts because I'm defaulting to peanut butter and jam or honey a lot more than I was (only three times this week, but that's three more than the last three weeks put together) and I don't want to let that reestablish itself as a norm. Time for a frittata, I think. Need some veggies for it. 

 

I weighed myself last night and was down three pounds from the beginning of the month. I double checked this morning and got the same number, so I'm feeling comfortable that there's a little bit of scale progress. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and add back the walking and see where it goes from here. Slow and steady, right? 

 

Hope your morning beverages are perfect! Thanks for being here! 💜

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21 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I finally finished the border on the map and emailed the author a scan. He is very happy with it and suggested two tweaks which should be easy enough to do, then it's done. So yay for that.

 

Nice, that's a relief.

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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Yay for the sun coming out. It has SUCH an effect on my mood too. It can be cold as all heck, but if the sun is out, it's still a good day. 

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8 hours ago, Salinger said:

Wow beautiful photo. 

Also not too cold..... :o hahahahaah id be complaining so much at that temp :P 

 

Good job on self care 

 

Wooo on 3 pounds 

 

Lots of love xx

Thanks, Sal. I love our sky here, it just goes on forever. Honestly, once you've been at -30C for a while, -9 feels like sweater weather. It's +2C today and I was too warm in my coat, scarf, and gloves while playing with Sax in the yard. Just lovely!! We are going to get a lot of ice from things melting today, but it can't be helped, just need to bust out the salt. Thanks for cheering me on. Lots of love!

 

4 hours ago, Harriet said:

Nice, that's a relief.

It sure is. 😁

 

3 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Yay for the sun coming out. It has SUCH an effect on my mood too. It can be cold as all heck, but if the sun is out, it's still a good day. 

Absolutely. We get a lot of sun here on the Prairies, it's definitely more noticeable when things are cloudy. It can be colder than cold but as long as the sun's out, there's hope. 

 

Hi Everyone!

 

Game last night went super well, although I almost broke my "no fast food in January" resolution. Instead I posted on the NF Facebook group that I needed some positive reinforcement and people came through in spades. I ended up going to the grocery and buying a roasted chicken, salad, and mashed potatoes (and some other veggies for later) and ate that. Plus I have leftovers for tonight. I'm grateful that we had enough money for me to just drop coins to solve my problem in a healthier way, because it was more expensive than the $15 at McDonald's, but I'll eat a few meals from it so it's cheaper in the long run. 

 

My players got onto the submarine and started exploring. Some minor combat with guards, the discovery of a submersible aboard the submarine, and a climactic encounter with a Death Cleric to finish the night. Bogdan, our wizard, "met" an obsidian skull with green gemstone eyes that said "Welcome, Initiate," when Bogdan picked it up and I swear Bryon's eyebrows went up into his hair. It was good, very fast paced. They have a final showdown with a Wizard in the engine room (powered by Air Elementals) for next week and then we will see what they do with the ship itself. 

 

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I didn't walk last night on the treadmill because of my detour to the grocery store and then needing to draw my maps. But I walked on the treadmill for 22 minutes this morning before leaving for work, which felt good. I put on the first episode of The Legend of Vox Machina season 1 and hoofed it. We are watching Season 2 as a gaming group tomorrow evening, which will be fun. I intend to watch another episode after work and walk then, too. 

 

Breakfast was a protein bar and fruit at noon. I have chicken tortellini soup and cheese for lunch, and dinner will be a frittata made with roasted broccoli, roasted sweet potato, roasted red peppers, and feta. The leftovers of that will become breakfasts next week. 

 

Other than that, just looking forward to my day off tomorrow! Happy Lunar New Year to those celebrating! Thanks for being here! ❤️

 

 

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Hi All,

 

Feeling a little off today. Yesterday was my day off and I honestly didn't do much that was productive other than to use my food processor to slice a bag and a half of onions and throw them in the crock pot to caramelize. I played a lot of Dreamlight Valley, watched some more videos on the OGL, and ate poorly. "Poorly" here isn't as bad is it would have been even a few months ago, but it still wasn't as well as I have been doing recently. A lot of grains and very little greens or proteins. I also finally got into the bag of Hawkins Cheezies that I have had in the pantry since early December. I consider it a win that I had resisted them until now and not bought any in the interim. My restraint is getting better. Bryon and Nicole came over to watch LoVM with me during the evening and that was fun. But I didn't get to check off a lot of boxes on my tracker for yesterday.

 

After Nicole and Bryon left I got a phone call from my brother. This is always a problem. It is always drama and always impossible to know how much of what he is saying is true or delusion or outright fabrication. He called to tell me that he was in the hospital with a burst appendix and was going in for emergency surgery. The call was pretty confusing and it was clear that he wasn't okay. I said what I could say to acknowledge his situation without getting in over my head which makes me feel remarkably callous, but we have been down roads like this one a million times and it's not easy to muster up the heart to invest in urgency when it could be him crying wolf again. So I told him that I hoped it wasn't anything serious and to have some faith in our health care system and that I loved him and then he ended the call. I called my Dad to let him know and was basically met with "Oh well" which is disheartening but completely understandable. Then I texted Dave, whose immediate response was "Do we think this is real?" Again, disheartening but completely understandable. I was feeling some strong feels about the risk my brother might be at and how broken my family dynamic is. I ended up talking to a friend and then going to bed. When I woke up there was a text from around 1 am saying that the scans didn't find anything and he was sent home with painkillers, so who knows what actually happened for him last night. *Sigh* One day he is going to be in a situation that will actually kill him and we are all going to be surprised. I am really, deeply at odds with myself over how to deal with that reality. I don't think it's his fault that he only calls when he's in crisis and I know I can't handle having frequent contact with his instability. So I guess we go on as we have been, such as it is. I don't think he will ever get help despite how much we advocate for it. I look at my life and am so grateful that I am able to be med compliant, because literally, but for the grace of God and Pharmacy, there go I...

 

The good news in all of this is that I didn't feel compelled to eat my feelings about any of this, which is a huge change from six months and a year ago. I didn't even cry that much, just let it ride. So there's progress there and I am grateful for it. 

 

Today I have had coffee, had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist (regularly scheduled check in), done the tweaks to the map and sent it off, and nothing else. I need to decide what I am going to do for chores today and tackle the little bit of dishes built up in the kitchen so I can actually check my Adulting off in my book. I've been doing other things but not the dishes consistently. The kitchen isn't nearly the disaster it was when I had no dishwasher though, so that is excellent. 

 

Wish I had something more exciting or positive to say, but I feel a bit wrung out. Hopefully things improve.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you. ❤️ 

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Hi Friends!

 

Not much new to report. I did a bunch of cooking yesterday to make breakfast and lunches for the week:

 

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Frittata with roasted cauliflower, broccoli, and sweet potato, topped with feta and

 

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Spaghetti with caramelized onions and feta. I had a lot of feta to use up, so it's going to be a cheesy week. Feeling good about getting all of that done and then cleaning the kitchen and doing all the dishes. 

 

Low steps the last two days, but I'm already at 2200 for today and will treadmill tonight. Looking to regain my lost ground as I'm in a steps deficit for my big step goal and I'd like to get back on track. 

 

Overall feeling more myself than yesterday. My card today was "Regenerate" so I'm paying attention to how I can best recover my energy and set myself up for future success. I was writing this morning that it's so interesting that my idea of regeneration now is things like cooking and laundry that set me up for future calmness and rest and not the "can't get out of bed" rest I required for so long. Long horizon changes and good ones. 

 

Hope you're all experiencing some regeneration today. Thanks for being here. 🧡

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6 hours ago, Sovalis said:

My card today was "Regenerate" so I'm paying attention to how I can best recover my energy and set myself up for future success.

My card yesterday was the two of swords. I interpreted it as the balance of emotion and logic, while cut off from external influences.

 

Glad you used the interpretation as encouragement to prepare yourself for future success as well as current success. :) Good cooking! :D

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I'm just peeking in to say hi! I'm following your journey. And I'm so glad you tried yoga! It is one of my favorite forms of moving my body for sure. And I'm not in any means flexible. 😂

 

I was thinking about those challenging postures like plank. I'm currently struggling with pushups, and I'm using counter top and the arm rest of my couch to lift me up from the ground a bit. It makes all the difference, since there is less weight on the upper body and wrists. I thought that could be something that might help you too. 

 

Keep doing the great job! I love how you are focusing also on the mindset. Small and sustainable changes are everything in a long run. 💛

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Great job on doing so much better than six months ago. Your batch cooking looks tasty.

 

Sorry that your family dynamic is so difficult. You are keeping a difficult balance to be supportive of your brother while maintaining your boundaries and not getting sucked in to his drama. Hard but healthy for you.

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