[Salinger]

HAPPY NEW YEAR (almost!)

 

2023...a BIG year for me and my career. February a huge project happens, it has been postponed twice due to covid, and now it is happening, im slightly terrified. Then in September 2023, another huge project!! Starting to wonder why I do these things to myself  its a massive stress and strain... anxiety through the roof. Unsure WHY there is so much anxiety there, maybe thats something to look into?

 

Towards the end of 2023, I want to start to think about funding to support myself to make new artwork. What can that be/what do i want to create/how does it link to my projects/how can i be as ambitious as possible and push boundaries? I will start to think about this in the summer i guess. 

 

AND I am continuing with my Masters course. I have postponed things till the summer, till after the big project in Feb. Summer i have a teeny bit of time to focus on the course, before the September project.

 

So goals for 2023 ....

 

Lose 60 pounds (Lose weight, address self-hatred, improve fitness and health)

My weight is holding me back, i ache, i self loathe, my confidence is zero, self esteem even lower. Getting healthy is a priority. (5lb per month)

Address self-hatred, work on affirmations and accept the love that comes my way. 

Get strong and fitter, see the doctor when I am poorly, check my liver function and blood pressure etc through the year. 

 

• Walk Bronze daily (30 mins minimum)
• Begin a kettlebell programme (10 mins per day)
• Focus on daily lunches (this is where I fall down usually)
• Track calories initially to see where going wrong/right
• Drink 2 large bottles of water daily
• Daily weigh-in and track on app

 

Explore new walks

(Bronze is getting a little older now (7 months!) and I would like to find new / longer walks to explore and build up fitness levels)

 

• One new walking route per week
• Post about the walk on Instagram for accountability

 

Meditation

With the stress of work related things, I need to keep grounded and relaxed. My anxiety can be very overwhelming and I want to focus on being present.

 

• Use Balance app to partake in guided meditation daily
• Build up to daily meditations (start with 3 days per week - Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday)
• 10 minutes meditations (can do more than one on set day!)

 

Read more books

Concentration levels is a problem for me due to ADHD brain. I strive for more books though, so I am making it a focus for 2023.

 

• Read 5 pages minimum 5 days a week
• Focus on short stories to get into the habit if needed
• Track on goodreads (this didnt help in the past but i want to try again)
• Read 10 books this year minimum

 

Artwork

Just to keep the creative juices flowing, this is just for fun!

 

• Keep using the film camera and capture moments
• One drawing per week minimum (on paper or iPad)
• Share drawings and photos on Instagram for accountability

 

Family

Dad died suddenly in 2020 and me, mum and sister struggle every day with the grief. I worry about them  

 

• Visit my mum more often
• Plan things with mum and sister to look forward to
• Don't get so overwhelmed with work that i put off visits

 

 

 

THESE ARE MY MAIN GOALS! And goals that will hopefully help me to succeed in work things, and Masters things... by being present and focused and healthy, i can do better work (etc)

 

So..... if you are STILL here....

 

Challenge goals are as follows.

 

• Track calories daily to check where i can improve
• Make a list of breakfast/lunch/dinners and order shopping
• Daily walks with Bronze (30 mins minimum)
• Daily 10 mins kettlebell circuit
• Drink 2 large bottles of water daily
• Four new walks throughout this months challenge
• Meditate 3 days a week (10 mins)
• Read 5 pages of a book minimum (5 days a week - don't need set days, just get it done !) Use Good Reads to track
• Create 4 new drawings 
• Ring mum weekly and visit once during the challenge

 

 

So this seems a lot of stuff, but I am not putting pressure on myself, this is a guide to help me achieve things.

 

If you read till the end, thank you

 

Your continued support means the world to me and I appreciate all of you so much. 

 

Sal x

[Salinger]

Good morning, its Tuesday 27th! 4.45am eeek

 

Went to bed around 11.30pm, not slept amazing obviously, can nap later on of course. Feels like a lot on my mind. 

 

Christmas was nice; me, mum and sister (and the two dogs!) we had fun actually, missed dad loads but we drank, danced, ate, and was in bed for 10 pm after a day of booze hahah we all peaked too early ! haha  

 

Bronze with a cracker toy...

 

 

Took almost 3 hours to get home yesterday due to snow/rain and a couple of accidents causing lots of traffic. Bronze was very good in the car, slept most of the way. 

 

Today:

• Clean up and sort the kitchen (wash dishes, sort bins and recycling)
• Go to the tip (take broken chair and cardboard)
• Tidy the dining table area
• Take medication
• Have a nap
• Walk Bronze (going to rain HARD today so swift park walk likely)
• Watch football with friend in town (leave at around 5pm)
• Allow myself to be lazy and relax as well today, its still the holidays!

 

Tomorrow I want to get back to work, go through emails and to do lists for Feb project. I also want to go through diet/food bits and look at recipes. Think I will take a break from the meal kits, and just get normal shopping for the month, that means i can be a little more focused perhaps. I will look through recipes and write shopping list, and book a delivery slot for 2nd/3rd January. 

 

I feel a tiny bit upbeat about my goals and how its all set out. Just need to implement it all now, and work towards them.

 

Ps. I recently did a podcast (last week) with an American educator. its only 23 mins long, and if anyone is interested, here you go.....

 

 

 

xx

[Salinger]

One more thing. Will use a table to track daily / weekly goals....

 

Week	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
30 mins walk
Drink two bottles of water
Track calories

Read 5 pages of book
10 mins meditation
Kettlebell circuit  (10 minutes)
Do a new drawing (one minimum)

[Sovalis]

Happy Almost New Year, Darling Sal!  

 

I am so excited for all of this. I will be your walking, water drinking, reading buddy! We should connect on Insta maybe? I’d love to see more of what you get up to. No pressure!

 

Big hugs for you. So excited to support you with all the things!  

[Salinger]

14 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Happy Almost New Year, Darling Sal!  

 

I am so excited for all of this. I will be your walking, water drinking, reading buddy! We should connect on Insta maybe? I’d love to see more of what you get up to. No pressure!

 

Big hugs for you. So excited to support you with all the things!  

 

Of course would love to, ill DM you (and anyone who wants my @ just let me know!)

 

Thanks so much for all your support  xx

[Rhovaniel]

These are fantastic goals! Following of course!

 

And thank you for the puppy tax. Bronze is so cute!

[Artemis Prime]

Your goals look excellent, Sal. Excited to follow along as always!

[Maggie-Miau]

*hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs*

[TrashcanCarla]

You have such a great list of things to work on this year! Way to go!

Looking forward to seeing how your table fills out this challenge, and to seeing more cute puppy walking photos.

[Sovalis]

Afternoon, Sal! How is today going?

 

I just listened to your podcast and it was excellent. You did a great job representing yourself and the project and explained things very well. I agree strongly with your sentiment that we need to take on mental health advocacy and tool development because the existing systems are overwhelmed/inadequate and I really admire that you are making that intention manifest. I love the idea of the Comfort Zone as this chill, social experience because galleries here are expected to be enjoyed in a linear, fairly isolating, individual way. I think you don’t see as many people, neurodivergent or not, attending gallery spaces because they have become too conformist in how you are expected to interact with them and they don’t invite participation as much as they demand observance. Oh, I am so excited about your toolkit! I love the idea of art as facilitation for mental health recovery. There was an article I read a few year ago about doctors in (I think it was) Montreal prescribing gallery time as partial treatment for depression with the idea that we end up too isolated away from beauty and wonder. I will have to see if I can find it for you. 

 

Thanks for an enjoyable listen while I was having my coffee!  

[Salinger]

On 12/27/2022 at 8:50 AM, Rhovaniel said:

These are fantastic goals! Following of course!

 

And thank you for the puppy tax. Bronze is so cute!

 

Thank you Rho!!!  

 

On 12/27/2022 at 2:29 PM, Artemis Prime said:

Your goals look excellent, Sal. Excited to follow along as always!

 

Thanks so much AP x

 

22 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

*hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs*

 

Hugs right back to you Mia x

 

21 hours ago, TrashcanCarla said:

You have such a great list of things to work on this year! Way to go!

Looking forward to seeing how your table fills out this challenge, and to seeing more cute puppy walking photos.

 

Thanks a lot x

[Salinger]

20 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Afternoon, Sal! How is today going?

 

I just listened to your podcast and it was excellent. You did a great job representing yourself and the project and explained things very well. I agree strongly with your sentiment that we need to take on mental health advocacy and tool development because the existing systems are overwhelmed/inadequate and I really admire that you are making that intention manifest. I love the idea of the Comfort Zone as this chill, social experience because galleries here are expected to be enjoyed in a linear, fairly isolating, individual way. I think you don’t see as many people, neurodivergent or not, attending gallery spaces because they have become too conformist in how you are expected to interact with them and they don’t invite participation as much as they demand observance. Oh, I am so excited about your toolkit! I love the idea of art as facilitation for mental health recovery. There was an article I read a few year ago about doctors in (I think it was) Montreal prescribing gallery time as partial treatment for depression with the idea that we end up too isolated away from beauty and wonder. I will have to see if I can find it for you. 

 

Thanks for an enjoyable listen while I was having my coffee!  

 

Wow thanks so much Sov, amazing feedback  really appreciate it !!!!!! xx

 

 

 

Today erm..... more below. 

 

_________________________________________

 

 

Hey all Wednesday 28th Dec, 5pm. 

 

Last night went out at around 6pm, didnt get home till 8am. Drank too much and took too many drugs. Feel guilty, stupid, pathetic. Roxy is also annoyed with me staying out so late....

 

Today ive slept, complained to myself, felt rubbish/guilt ridden/lethargic/aching. 

 

Need to rethink things perhaps....in terms of my behaviour. So impulsive and self destructive. 

 

 

Rox is home in 30 mins and will likely be in a mood with me, im cold, hungry, my head hurts and i feel sorry for myself massively. 

 

Think i will eat something soon, then have a  hot bath, watch the football then go to bed. I will hope i feel better after a good sleep?

 

I feel so so behind with work bits and need to focus tmoro on getting back on track. 

 

x

 

[Maggie-Miau]

waaaaaaaaait i just watched the video, your voice is so pretty!  I love the way you talk about your work, and the toolkit sounds so good. 

 

Sending love!

[Sovalis]

I'm sorry to hear that the night got away from you. I find when that happens to me I need my meds adjusted and/or some therapy interventions to prevent things going further off track. I think a gentle day and some introspection might be useful for you. 

[Rookie]

Bronze is looking so grown up! 
 

Hope tomorrow is better for you

[Salinger]

18 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

waaaaaaaaait i just watched the video, your voice is so pretty!  I love the way you talk about your work, and the toolkit sounds so good. 

 

Sending love!

 

haha thanks Mia, i actuallly HATE my accent/voice. So im happy you think that

 

17 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I'm sorry to hear that the night got away from you. I find when that happens to me I need my meds adjusted and/or some therapy interventions to prevent things going further off track. I think a gentle day and some introspection might be useful for you. 

 

Thank you Sov.  x

 

7 hours ago, Rookie said:

Bronze is looking so grown up! 
 

Hope tomorrow is better for you

 

haha shes being annoying baby today

 

Thanks so much, me too x

[Salinger]

Hey all. 11.15am here, sun is peeking out a bit. Chilly too and windy. 

 

Slept quite well, was up at half 9 so a teeny lie in. 

 

Still feeling a bit guilty. And quite stupid....but need to move on from it. 

 

Decided to try and do Dry January...did it last year and was hard but completed it. Think it will be tougher this year due to stress....

 

Anyway. Todays tasks. 

 

- Take medication

- Laundry on 

- Go to the tip and get rid of cardboard

- Go through emails

- Write letter of support for artist

- Walk Bronze

- Brush Bronze

- Do a work diary plan for the next 7 days

- Clean fridge

- Food shop delivery arriving at 5pm (put away)

- Find a walk for New Years Day

- Message welder about work

- Put curtain up in bedroom

- Pay invoice for BV

- Find recipe for this evening

- Have a bath/watch a film/relax

 

Not masses of work to do, mainly little tasks and chores to get done. Hoping i feel better this eve after doing these bits. 

 

Weighed myself today, put on 1lb... a lot better than i had feared tbh. Now to focus on losing pounds!

 

Hope you are all ok xx

[Rookie]

I liked your voice as well lol I could listen to you talk all day

 

Maybe dry January will be easier the more you do it! 

[Salinger]

22 minutes ago, Rookie said:

I liked your voice as well lol I could listen to you talk all day

 

Maybe dry January will be easier the more you do it! 

 

HAHA awww  thats so kind Rookie! 

 

Yes, true!! xx

 

 

 

[Salinger]

Hey all. 

 

3.30pm. 

 

I drove to the tip, (10 mins away) and the queue was so so so long, they had stopped allowing people to even queue  

 

So had to come home. Will try tmoro...

 

Found a walk for NYD, Rox is going to Wales, i cba....will meet her halfway and go to a place called Delamere Forest, an hour away. Should be nice !

 

Curtains not arrived yet, annoying. Wanted to put them up and surprise Roxy! Hoping they arrive before 5pm. 

 

Food shop coming at 5, so could be bloody panic stations where it all arrives at once haha

 

Decided to check out secure dog fields....rang one place and they had a slot at 2...its 20 mins away and its a huge dog country park, and has 7 fields (pretty large) all secure, just me, Bronze and a football  so she was off lead and adored it. No other dogs to be worried about (for us both) a little lake thing to splash in (get muddy ahaah)

 

Awww we had fun, an hour walking round, kicking the ball and chasing her

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok so I havent done loads of my list, but im home now, Bronze is FAST asleep. 

 

Just drank a big pint of water, and I will clear the fridge, then put laundry on. Then sort through emails and choose a recipe for this eve. Hopefully the curtains arrive by then, and I can put them up. 

 

Then food delivery arrives, so put all away!

 

By then, Rox will be due home so make cups of tea. 

 

Cook, bath, chill!!!!!!!!!! xx

[Sovalis]

Sounds like a very good day!

[Artemis Prime]

That's such a cool spot to be able to take Bronze to!

[Salinger]

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

Sounds like a very good day!

 

Its been lovely x

 

1 hour ago, Artemis Prime said:

That's such a cool spot to be able to take Bronze to!

 

Very cool  x

 

 

_______________________________

 

 

Hey again. 6pm. Rox is home, we drinking tea, listening to Phoebe Bridgers

 

 

- Take medication

- Laundry on 

- Go to the tip and get rid of cardboard

- Go through emails

- Write letter of support for artist

- Walk Bronze

- Brush Bronze

- Do a work diary plan for the next 7 days

- Clean fridge

- Food shop delivery arriving at 5pm (put away)

- Find a walk for New Years Day

- Message welder about work

- Put curtain up in bedroom

- Pay invoice for BV

- Find recipe for this evening

- Have a bath/watch a film/relax

 

 

Done ok

 

Going to make a vegetarian spag bol this eve, and will start cooking it in a minute. Got some rigatoni pasta to have instead of spaghetti. 

 

 

 

Roxy was overjoyed about the curtains

 

Laundry is on, meds taken, fridge is filled with healthy wholesome food. 

 

Might have an early bath, put food on to cook then nice bath.....relax. Maybe ill try find a book to read. I get stressed but 5 pages is the aim to get into the habit. 

 

I feel ok tonight. Ive done ok today. I can sense my anxiety is rising so im trying to self care. 

 

xx

 

[Yasha92]

Here to cheer you on!

[Sovalis]

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

Roxy was overjoyed about the curtains

 

Laundry is on, meds taken, fridge is filled with healthy wholesome food. 

 

Might have an early bath, put food on to cook then nice bath.....relax. Maybe ill try find a book to read. I get stressed but 5 pages is the aim to get into the habit. 

 

I feel ok tonight. Ive done ok today. I can sense my anxiety is rising so im trying to self care. 

 

xx

 

I love this for you so much. I hope you can knock back the anxiety and rest. Get those five pages!