[Salinger]

26 minutes ago, Yasha92 said:

Here to cheer you on!

yay thanks yasha 

 

amazing to see you xx

 

3 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I love this for you so much. I hope you can knock back the anxiety and rest. Get those five pages!  

thanks Sov!!!!!!

 

I just had a lovely hot bath and washed my hair and in fresh pjs so feeling cosy 

 

dinner is cooking and I can smell it

 

will head down in 10 mins - going to look for a bloody book hahah I don’t know why I have such a block when it comes to reading x

[Harriet]

Yay! This year will be good. I can smell it on the air, see it in the pattern of rains. I think not drinking definitely gets easier with practice. I haven't been drinking either--just on our boxing day lunch but nothing else for a month or two I think. It definitely gets easier. And I'm totally looking forward to your once per week drawings, if you want to share any!

[Rookie]

Oh that dog park would be so good. I wish I had a park I could take Winnie were it was enclosed and I didn’t have to worry about other dogs with her. 
 

I want to see the curtains! 

[Salinger]

39 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Yay! This year will be good. I can smell it on the air, see it in the pattern of rains. I think not drinking definitely gets easier with practice. I haven't been drinking either--just on our boxing day lunch but nothing else for a month or two I think. It definitely gets easier. And I'm totally looking forward to your once per week drawings, if you want to share any!

thanks Harriet!!!!! I hope so

 

I will defo share the drawings yes xx

 

37 minutes ago, Rookie said:

Oh that dog park would be so good. I wish I had a park I could take Winnie were it was enclosed and I didn’t have to worry about other dogs with her. 
 

I want to see the curtains! 

 

there are loads in the UK!! About 8 near me actually which is crazy haha

 

oh they are literally just dark grey boring ones hahaha

[Salinger]

Spag Bol eaten - very tasty, as good as meat tbh!!!!

 

 

 

read 5 pages of a new book as well

 

so pleased with how today has gone x

 

 

[Salinger]

2 hours ago, Rookie said:

 

I want to see the curtains! 

here!!!!

 

[Salinger]

Hey, morning all. 4am...annoyed that my body just wakes up at around 4.... but I hate lying in bed wide awake, so i may as well get up ad do bits of work etc and nap later. 

 

Yesterday was a good day in terms of getting stuff done! I even meditated for ten mins before bed  

 

Hoping today is another good one. 

 

- Take medication

- Drop Roxy at work (8am)

- Go to the tip early (hope there is no queue today)

- Wash dishes/keep kitchen clean

- Put bolognese in container in fridge

- Sort out the bins/recycling

- Walk Bronze

- Write out work diary for next 7 days

- Pay two invoices for Project 1

- Write to - do list for Project 1

- Phone call meeting at 2pm with artist

- Read 5 pages of book

- Pick Roxy up from work

- Cook something healthy for dinner

- Relax/watch the game

 

 

Bit apprehensive about the to-do list...so much to do, but slow until next week when everyone is back to work. Trying not to feel so anxious about the project and stuff going wrong. 

 

*breathe*

 

 

x

[Yasha92]

Way to go on the meditation and the reading! How did today go?

[Rookie]

Those curtains look so nice! We have curtains in our office but for some reason they are like 3-4m long. Like ridiculous long. 

[Salinger]

2 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Way to go on the meditation and the reading! How did today go?

 

Today is still going! Only 2pm here Had a HUGE nap that I am feeling guilty about tbh but trying hard not to....xx

 

49 minutes ago, Rookie said:

Those curtains look so nice! We have curtains in our office but for some reason they are like 3-4m long. Like ridiculous long. 

 

Thanks Rookie!!

 

Oh wow that IS long!!!!!! xx

[Salinger]

Hey all. 3pm. 

 

Just nipped to the park, very quick 20 mins due to rain  feel a bit bad. 

 

I had a nap that was too long and now have a headache.... 10.30am till 12.30  

 

 

 

- Take medication

- Drop Roxy at work (8am)

- Go to the tip early (hope there is no queue today)

- Wash dishes/keep kitchen clean

- Put bolognese in container in fridge

- Sort out the bins/recycling

- Walk Bronze

- Write out work diary for next 7 days

- Pay two invoices for Project 1

- Write to - do list for Project 1

- Phone call meeting at 2pm with artist

- Read 5 pages of book

- Pick Roxy up from work

- Cook something healthy for dinner

- Relax/watch the game

 

Doing ok though. The tip was fun  still a queue before it even opened haha but got in and got rid of stuff!

 

Will do the bins soon, picking Rox up at 5pm. Ill read later. Think i will make some drawings on the ipad this afternoon....

 

Oh ... i got a scarf/hat/balaclava hybrid thing haha to keep me warm. What do you think??

 

 

 

 

Not sure what to make for dinner?? We have lots in, just cant decide! Maybe salad? i feel hungry but also nauseous????

 

Meeting went well. It was with a pretty famous artist who used to be in punk band The Raincoats. Very cool. 

xx

[Salinger]

DONE THREE IPAD DRAWINGS

 

Naked sketches so spoilered....

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Harriet]

2 hours ago, Salinger said:

DONE THREE IPAD DRAWINGS

 

Naked sketches so spoilered....

 

That's only two! Very cool, very characterful. Also, nice boobs They look trouble-making and disobedient. Recalcitrant, even.

[Salinger]

36 minutes ago, Harriet said:

 

That's only two! Very cool, very characterful. Also, nice boobs They look trouble-making and disobedient. Recalcitrant, even.

thanks Harriet ! Real glad you like

 

hahah oh thought I uploaded the other as well hahahhaha I will do when home x

[TrashcanCarla]

Love your photos from yesterday! Looks like you and the pup had a lot of fun!

 

Also must mention that you accomplished a lot. Nice! Cleaning the fridge and putting up a curtain is harrrd.

[TrashcanCarla]

Oh and forgot to mention that your balaclava-y thing is quite cute! Love it

[Sovalis]

Your hood looks so cozy! Perfect for adventures with Bronze!

[Salinger]

17 hours ago, TrashcanCarla said:

Love your photos from yesterday! Looks like you and the pup had a lot of fun!

 

Also must mention that you accomplished a lot. Nice! Cleaning the fridge and putting up a curtain is harrrd.

 

Thanks so much xx

 

8 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Your hood looks so cozy! Perfect for adventures with Bronze!

 

Definitely!!!  xx

[Salinger]

Hey all. almost 3pm....just listening to music waiting for the footy. 

 

Took Bronze for a short stroll in the park, shes now chomping on a bone next to me

 

Was up early to drive Roxy to train station as she has gone with some pals to Wales for the night. I was invited but i couldnt really be bothered. Will miss Roxy tonight, and at midnight but im sure it will be a chilled night for me. 

 

Im SO tired!  i could probably sleep for a million years. 

 

Might nap after the footy but then it will be late, like 5pm? ugh and ill have to stay up till midnight to face time with Rox hahahahaha 

 

Think im going to cook steak tonight  got some peppercorn sauce as well! YUM

 

GOALS BEGIN TMORO. Things will settle down from Tuesday though when back to work. 

 

Dry January is also an aim *gulp*

 

xx

[Sovalis]

Maybe you could nap and set an alarm to wake you at 11:30 or something so you can talk to Roxy? Staying up when you don't want to is such a grind. 

 

I'm excited to be here to support you in the New Year!

[Salinger]

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

Maybe you could nap and set an alarm to wake you at 11:30 or something so you can talk to Roxy? Staying up when you don't want to is such a grind. 

 

I'm excited to be here to support you in the New Year!

 

i feel a bit more awake now. haha

 

But yes, i could sleep early if i feel like it

 

THANK YOU so much xx

[Salinger]

Adjusted my goal of weight loss. 

 

Think 100 lb is setting me up to fail.....

 

Lose 60 pounds

My weight is holding me back, i ache, i self loathe, my confidence is zero, self esteem even lower. Getting healthy is a priority. (5lb per month)

 

New goal and feel more confident. 

 

x

[Salinger]

Hey 8pm.... football was good. 

 

I spent £7 on a bet... and WON £210  

 

Nice end to the year hahah

 

Now i have music on, just had a disappointing take away (too tired and apathetic to cook. regret it) Ah well.....

 

Wondering if to have a nice bath?? Then open the Bucks Fizz?

 

Might tidy up a bit first so its clean when i come down. 

 

I feel a little shitty and missing Rox and thinking i should have just gone with her to Wales  feel a teeny bit lonely. 

 

But im trying to enjoy some time on my own? If it wasnt NYE then maybe i wouldnt feel crap, and its JUST a day...dont need to feel pressured into having fun! haha

 

I feel like I will do my 5 day diary after a bath.... get stuff written down and planned out (along with my goals)

 

Hmmmm.... i feel wary and anxious and unsure why. Lets hope a hot bath helps?xx

 

 

[sarakingdom]

2 hours ago, Salinger said:

Adjusted my goal of weight loss. 

 

Think 100 lb is setting me up to fail.....

 

I think this is a wise choice. Your goal was right at the maximum border of weight loss speed, and was going to be quite difficult to reliably meet.

 

I'd also consider thinking about a goal that is based on behaviors to achieve outcomes (which are under your control), rather than outcomes themselves (which are less easily controlled, and not as easily scheduled). It's the difference between "my goal is to write a book and submit it to six editors" and "my goal is to sell a book". Apart from the obvious mental health benefits of making the goal the thing under your control, studies tend to show that focusing on the process and good habits (writing and submitting regularly), rather than the desired outcome you don't control, makes reaching that outcome more likely.

 

In essence, a goal of "be good at the process of striving for the outcome" is a more effective strategy than a goal of "reach outcome".

 

2 hours ago, Salinger said:

My weight is holding me back, i ache, i self loathe, my confidence is zero, self esteem even lower. Getting healthy is a priority.

 

I would like to point out that losing weight is not going to stop the self-loathing. It's the current focus of it and may have a contributing role, but does not cause that sort of emotional relationship with yourself, and will not stop it. It's also a relatively minor part of getting healthy. The aching and physical problems of weight are, even at 100lbs overweight, more from sedentary lifestyle and lack of fitness than from weight. You can get rid of those problems at your current weight, or still have them at your goal weight. Both of those are common situations. There are many physically unfit, aching people at their goal weight, and many healthy, physically resilient people 100 pounds overweight who are great at hiking, yoga, weight lifting, dancing, roller derby, etc.

 

So there are three problems here that you're attributing to your weight, and your weight is only going to have a major impact on one of them: being overweight and a shape you don't want to be. Self-loathing needs a different solution. Health is, fortunately, assisted by many of the same actions people use to lose weight, diet and exercise - but sometimes needs an emphasis on different activities, and often happens at a different speed than weight loss, so it's worth thinking about separately.

 

It would be very useful if you were to decouple these three problems. That's complicated, especially the mental part, but it would be a strong start to replace every instance of "lose weight" in your lists and goals with "Lose weight, address self-hatred, improve fitness and health", and make actions and outcomes for all three. "Losing weight" is a shorthand you use to mean all three of those things happening, so your plans and habits need to start explicitly taking that into account.

[Salinger]

Hey @sarakingdom

 

Thanks so much for this

 

Lots to ponder. You are defo right about Changing the rhetoric i have around my weight. Thank you for taking the time to express this, and remind me  xx