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[Trashcan Carla] Chapter 1 - Contemplation and Consistency


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On 1/12/2023 at 4:28 AM, pureleeawesome said:

 Your art is so pretty ❤️ 

 

Thank you so much! ✨ It's nice to use that side of my brain regularly again. I went for quite a few months there without painting or drawing anything.

 

++

 

Screenshot_20230112-072722.jpg.fef54459be4fe630e3ba62c2511a292b.jpg

 

I'm doing great on two of my goals, at least! Proud of the no alcohol goal particularly. I feel like I can see this through the rest of the year, if not beyond.

 

I intend on taking my son and our dog for a nice long walk today. I have much to do today, but I'll make sure that the walk is prioritized. We all need to get outside and it's not raining today.

 

Today's to-dos:

- bathe son

- bathe dog

- tidy and clean downstairs

- order groceries for delivery

- clean Trixie the cat's stuff

- go on 30m walk

- take all the decorations off of the dead Xmas tree

- bonus: laundry put away

 

Here's a photo of Molly the dog from yesterday:

PXL_20230112_023743046.thumb.jpg.8e4753a77bd6d1bc924c0175b21aaa00.jpg

 

Ok! Let's do this thing.

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Just now, Harriet said:

Is that your dog? It's a sweet dog!

Yes - she is new to our family and the world (she's big for 11 weeks old). Love her, but she's a lot of work haha.

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Adorbs!  

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Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero | Affiliation: Doodlie and Pancake for Life

Respawn Challenge Arcs: 2021 | 2022

 

I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room.

 

Original Spawn Challenges 2014 - 2020: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 789, 10, 11, 12 , 131415, 1617181920, 21, 2223242526272829303132, 33, 3435, 36??

Roadmaps: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020

Starting weight = 290.4 (2014); Current weight = 241.2; Total pounds lost: 49.2

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Bahaha... Did. Not. Take kiddos for walk. Gah! 😒

 

I forgot when I posted that earlier update that I had a scheduled phone call with a family member I really needed to reconnect with. That call went a little long and it pushed my whole day around.

 

 Today's to-dos:

- bathe son

- bathe dog

- tidy and clean downstairs

- order groceries for delivery

- clean Trixie the cat's stuff

- go on 30m walk

- take all the decorations off of the dead Xmas tree

- bonus: laundry put away

 

I did a few necessities, but it wasn't my best day of getting things done. Oh well. At least I'm on track with the things that I am.

 

Screenshot_20230112-212043.jpg.d2475a51598030051913084f0213adb4.jpg

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Today has been so weird. It's 1:40pm here, and I'm just now getting over an extreme lethargy that has plagued me since I woke up this morning. My sleep was a bit interrupted last night, but perhaps more than I thought. Anyway, I'm just now rousing myself from the couch. I just slept through an entire kid's movie which my son was watching. Thank goodness that he just stayed planted next to me the entire time - hopefully I would've woken up if he moved - he could've gotten into trouble without me awake to notice something. Not that I keep the stove on or knives laying around within his reach. * shakes head *

 

Anyway, here I am putting my day's priorities together at midday:

- clean Trixie's cat stuff

- tidy and clean downstairs

- assemble the dog crate (it's finally time to start crate training - our loosey-goosey training attempts are failing big time)

- take decorations off of tree

- put away laundry

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Oh, and here is the illustration I made yesterday. I was happy with it until I wasn't (which is odd because it really wasn't my intention for it to be perfect). I think I like it. Shrug. I don't know haha.

 

Spoiler

PXL_20230112_181032493_20230112115941424.jpg.6cefbabb55867287eb6fb8b81523cfa5.jpg

 

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Welp, Sunday evening here. I got out for a 20 minute walk with the kid and puppy. It was raining, otherwise we would have gone for a longer walk. It's supposed to rain tomorrow and then again on Wednesday, but other than that we should be good to do daily walks for longer.

 

Definitely met my spiritual goal today and did fairly well this week. Just had a couple of days where I didn't really take the time to meditate or examine. Alcohol is nowhere to be seen, and I'll say it again: I don't miss it.

Screenshot_20230115-183511.jpg.658d93cf5b1eedd058a32cd63bc1a62a.jpg

 

++

 

In other news, I went to a Tarot symbolism group thing called "Tarot & Tea" today and it was fantastic. Really low-key and intimate gathering of people; I learned and got to share my thoughts. Also, I met someone who wants to hang out! It's so hard to make friends, so I'm glad for the new connection. Yay!

 

I feel like this was kind of a lazy weekend, but I'm okay with that. I have more to do this week now, but it was worth it to be able to kick back a bit.

  • Like 6

Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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On 1/15/2023 at 9:43 PM, TrashcanCarla said:

Really low-key and intimate gathering of people; I learned and got to share my thoughts. Also, I met someone who wants to hang out! It's so hard to make friends, so I'm glad for the new connection.

New friends! Woot!

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"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford

"The older I get, the more I understand that the only way to say valuable things is to lose your fear of being correct." -Malcolm Gladwell

"If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi

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Thank you @Salinger! I am doing quite well, actually. At first, I was quite disappointed in myself that I haven't exercised consistently. I have come to peace with that, though. First, there's still time left in this challenge for me to establish some routine with more challenging exercise. Second, if I don't, maybe that's just as well - perhaps it is more essential for me to focus on the spiritual and no alcohol stuff.

 

Wow. I feel proud of myself for writing that! Typically, I have a very self critical perspective on my progress or perceived lack of.

  • Like 6

Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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17 minutes ago, TrashcanCarla said:

Second, if I don't, maybe that's just as well - perhaps it is more essential for me to focus on the spiritual and no alcohol stuff.

 

Wow. I feel proud of myself for writing that! Typically, I have a very self critical perspective on my progress or perceived lack of.

An excellent observation. I often fall into the trap of feeling like I have to be nailing all things at all times, but am slowly working around to the idea that we go through seasons where our priorities shift. Taking care of a kid and a puppy is not for sissies, and being able to maintain sobriety and build spiritual habits in the midst of that is definitely something to be proud of.

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"For God did not give us a spirit of fear; but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline". - 2 Timothy 1:7

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." -Gandalf

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This morning has gone well, so far. Yay for that. I got enough sleep last night. Skipped getting up at 4:45 when my alarm went off and the puppers didn't seem to mind and let me sleep in until 5:15. Not bad at all! Already did some spiritual time, cup of coffee in hand. Reached out to my writing group with ideas for this week's meeting and put some prompts together for us to use on Thursday. Reached out to a friend via email to offer support - she's going through a rough time with her career. Feeling accomplished.

 

I have much to do today, but yesterday went pretty well - took the dog and kiddo for a nice walk and got a couple of things done that I've been putting off for a week, and that is effing fantastic, now that I think about it. I can now look forward to:

- meal plan and order groceries

- run laundry and putting away of laundry

- bathe Odin

- find the stamps and mail off warranty registrations

- clean Trixie cat's stuff

- new sheets on bed

- draw one or two things in ink and watercolor

- take Odin and Molly for a nice walk

  • Like 5

Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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2 hours ago, TrashcanCarla said:

Thank you @Salinger! I am doing quite well, actually. At first, I was quite disappointed in myself that I haven't exercised consistently. I have come to peace with that, though. First, there's still time left in this challenge for me to establish some routine with more challenging exercise. Second, if I don't, maybe that's just as well - perhaps it is more essential for me to focus on the spiritual and no alcohol stuff.

 

Wow. I feel proud of myself for writing that! Typically, I have a very self critical perspective on my progress or perceived lack of.

 

If you chuck three things at a challenge, and two of them stick, you did splendidly. :)

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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I didn't get as much done as I wanted to, but no regrets ✌️.

 

 - meal plan and order groceries

- run laundry and putting away of laundry

- bathe Odin

- find the stamps and mail off warranty registrations

- clean Trixie cat's stuff

- new sheets on bed

- draw one or two things in ink and watercolor

- take Odin and Molly for a nice walk

 

Actually, hold that thought... I got all of my goals done today! Not bad!

Screenshot_20230117-195408.jpg.2fbeea46d6b2ed6edd0a688fbd013224.jpg

 

Had a great walk with my kids. Excuse the weird selfie that I took when the sun was at the worst angle for selfies.

485983707_PXL_20230117_182928364(1).thumb.jpg.e422d3e0df9f4a0c0b3209ad3a9ef7f7.jpg

1917082963_PXL_20230117_182509524.MP(1).thumb.jpg.01e453e0f7208cad37ae7c52363afb4d.jpg

1554577869_PXL_20230117_182512039(1).thumb.jpg.3eb929a48160186d73f65c9183bd4b04.jpg

1158606489_PXL_20230117_182752832(1).thumb.jpg.7591978e39f909a91dac01aaa0017990.jpg

  • Like 4

Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Good day, all.

 

Vent STARTS:

I didn't have the best quality sleep last night, evidenced by my basically falling asleep sitting up while I attempted meditation practice. Twice. I basically lulled myself into sleep mode.

Before that, I spent like, the last 40 minutes trying to shoo my puppy away from going upstairs. So annoying! We really need to get a baby gate.

Before that, messed up an ink illustration I made for a friend who requested something pregnancy or uterus-themed (she is an OB-GYN, not that she needs an excuse to make such a request). I was preparing to watercolor the ink drawing in and found out the hard way that I had used non-waterproof ink on part of the drawing. DAMN!

 

So that's my morning thus far.

 

My mother-in-law is coming into town on Saturday so I'll need to get all of the things done before she arrives. One annoying thing is reupholstering the stained chair cushions on the dining room table chairs. Oh that'll be an effing blast. I don't even know where the staple gun and other such supplies might be in our totally disorganized garage. 

 

Sorry. Vent ENDS.

 

++

 

In other news, I'm experiencing a very Quinn-like reaction to doing very well in two of my three goals for this challenge. I'm experiencing doubt. Should I have chosen these two goals if I'm apparently good at fulfilling them? Did I not challenge myself enough? It's like I want to fail. I'm already not meeting my personal expectations for the third goal - the exercise one - of my challenge, so you'd think that I would be okay with doing well at the other two. Instead, I wonder if I should be having a hard time with all three goals, haha. More strife! More frustration! My mind is wack.

 

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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Hey, cool photos, you have lovely eyebrows!!!!

 

Sorry you havent slept great. Im pretty lucky, Bronze just knows she is not allowed upstairs! Helps that Jackson hisses at her if she tries haha but she just lies at the bottom and cries hahahaha

 

Sorry also that you have doubt about challenge. The beauty of this place is they are 5 weeks....stick with what you have now and if its not working, change it next time. 


You are doing really well!!! Each day is a new day, and another chance to do 'better'. 

 

Im also stressing about exercise (lack of) but we doing our best my friend, lets encourage each other ❤️ xx

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1 hour ago, TrashcanCarla said:

In other news, I'm experiencing a very Quinn-like reaction to doing very well in two of my three goals for this challenge. I'm experiencing doubt. Should I have chosen these two goals if I'm apparently good at fulfilling them? Did I not challenge myself enough? It's like I want to fail. I'm already not meeting my personal expectations for the third goal - the exercise one - of my challenge, so you'd think that I would be okay with doing well at the other two. Instead, I wonder if I should be having a hard time with all three goals, haha. More strife! More frustration! My mind is wack.


Shut up and win lol 😛 But seriously. I always think I should be doing more, then I crash and spiral out of control. I'm trying something different, building up slowly on what I hope are firmer if more modest foundations. Hence organic programming. If we give the sapling rocket fuel, it will grow too fast and too thin and we'll cheer for a moment as it appears to touch the sun, but then it will buckle under its own weight. Better to have a stout dwarven oak that, while short, cannot be blown down in a breeze or indeed a hurricane.

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Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

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Hey there, @Salinger-- totally missed your comment, earlier.

 

Thanks for the kind words about my eyebrows!

You are right - it's a short challenge but not too short. I can change my challenge next time and meanwhile cement my habits that are working.

 

I really should just shut up and win like @Harrietsaid haha.

 

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Current NF Challenge: X

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” Carrie Fisher

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You are doing great!  Keep it up

 

You-are-doing-great GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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Race: Amazonian Ogre Princess | Class: Ranger | Profession: SuperHero | Affiliation: Doodlie and Pancake for Life

Respawn Challenge Arcs: 2021 | 2022

 

I am not saying I am Wonder Woman. I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman together in the same room.

 

Original Spawn Challenges 2014 - 2020: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 789, 10, 11, 12 , 131415, 1617181920, 21, 2223242526272829303132, 33, 3435, 36??

Roadmaps: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020

Starting weight = 290.4 (2014); Current weight = 241.2; Total pounds lost: 49.2

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