SkyGirl Posted January 13 Author Report Share Posted January 13 22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: A 30 second plank as part of your warmup is an easy way to begin strengthening the front and back of the core. ... why must the answer be so simple and yet so dreadful. 7 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said: That meme is very good 🤣 4 hours ago, Rhovaniel said: That is an excellent meme! Isn't it?? It's kind of been my vibe for much of the 2020's so far ... 1 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 13 Author Report Share Posted January 13 Hey frens!! Quick update for today - I am v. sore from going to the gym yesterday, which is a good feeling; shark week is painful; I tracked all my foods today and didn't eat nearly as much as I thought I was going to; and I checked in with a few friends who are not doing great, which wore me out emotionally pretty quickly, but I bounced back after a hot shower. Updated log so far this week: Body: (2x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood (1x): Track food intake to get a sense of my current calorie/nutrient intake and where might need adjustment Spirit: (4x): Read daily Bible plan assignment. Home: (1x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling Oooo, might still be time for a meditation before bed. I'll see what I can do. Will try to check in on folks' threads tomorrow! ❤️ 3 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 Everything on the log is good work. I'm really proud of you. Also, if a 30 second plank is too much, start with a 10 second plank and add one second each warmup. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 17 Author Report Share Posted January 17 Hi guys! Another super-speedy update because it's almost time for bed - the rest of this weekend was really full (we had a day off today, so we spent a lot of the weekend visiting with friends and family), so I didn't quite achieve all my goals, but I'm still happy with how the week turned out. I also intentionally took it a little easier due to shark week, which was a good call because this month's was rough. Here's how we're looking (things I completed are crossed off): Body: (3x): Go to the gym or walk around the neighborhood (2x): Track food intake to get a sense of my current calorie/nutrient intake and where might need adjustment (1x): Cook a meal I enjoy, which includes at least 2 vegetables. Spirit: (7x): Read daily Bible plan assignment. (1x): Write something thoughtful and/or creative for one social media platform. (2x): Listen to one "Live from Rest" meditation at some point during the day. Home: (2x): Wipe down the kitchen and bathroom before bed. (1x): Pick one section of my home master cleaning list to work through on Saturday. Counting this one because I scrubbed the bathroom floor and baseboards on Saturday, which I'd been avoiding for months and felt so good about afterward! Relationships: (1x): Tell Eamon honestly about something negative that I'm feeling. (1x): Schedule an outing with a friend (doesn't have to actually happen this week). I did have a phone date scheduled, but it fell through - going to try again this week! So definitely not as complete as I would have liked, but the important ones happened and I am pleased. Several others were completed less than the planned amount, but I did do them at least once, like wiping down the kitchen and bathroom. This week, I only have one task: Week 4: Reflect Pause to figure out what's working and what isn't, without judgment - if it's not working, either it isn't really a high priority to me, or else I need to try a different tactic. For things that aren't important, let them go! There are plenty of other things to focus on! I should have some time for reflection in the next couple of days, and will think through the things that didn't get completed and figure out why. (Obviously there's shark week and a holiday, so that was part of it, but were those things not super important to me? Why not? Or was I genuinely kept from completing them and would have otherwise?) For tonight, time to get some sleep (and maybe a meditation before bed! ) 3 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 21 Author Report Share Posted January 21 Wow, that week flew by FAST! 😮 Short version, I didn't get a whole lot of reflection done because I was hit by a wave of depression symptoms and much worse nightmares as shark week wrapped up (I've noticed that happening several times in the last few months, which is interesting), so I had very little energy and mostly focused on taking small steps each day to try to feel a little better until they passed. Today I'm not fully out of the woods, but have definitely had more energy and positivity than the last few days. Accomplishments this week, then, include: 1 kettlebell workout 1 walk 2 days of food tracking (and staying roughly within calorie limits!) Stayed on track with my Bible reading plan, despite accidentally skipping a couple days and having to catch up Followed up and got on the waiting list for two therapists who specialize in phobias, OCD and EMDR Had a good session with my current therapist Opened up to my best friends and Eamon that I wasn't doing well and asked for space where needed 🥳 Wiped up the kitchen and bathroom before bed Kept tackling little pieces of my Big Cleaning List Watched and loved "Ms. Marvel" and Thor: Love and Thunder So, it was a week of small wins, and I am happily accepting that. Tomorrow I would love to get another walk, I might run some errands, I'm planning to attend my church's women's prayer group, and possibly game night with my friends, though it may be game night with just me, which is also totally fine. I do still want to reflect some on my goals and what's working and not. And, I really will try to catch up on some threads tomorrow too. Love you guys!! ❤️ 4 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted January 21 Report Share Posted January 21 Hugs friend. I'm proud of you for being vulnerable and asking for help. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted January 21 Report Share Posted January 21 Yeah, I was always more prone to nightmares during shark week. A lot of people said they didn't like Ms. Marvel, but we really enjoyed it. 1 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 22 Author Report Share Posted January 22 23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Hugs friend. I'm proud of you for being vulnerable and asking for help. Thank you my friend. It's still not my favorite thing to do, but I need my people when I'm not doing well, and they can't help me if I don't tell them I need them. 22 hours ago, Elastigirl said: Yeah, I was always more prone to nightmares during shark week. A lot of people said they didn't like Ms. Marvel, but we really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed Ms. Marvel because I learned things!! There were a lot of things about Pakistani culture and history that I didn't know much about and am excited to research more, based on watching the show. Plus a lot of their messages about family, love, loyalty, and identity really resonated with me too. I'm excited to see Kamala in the next Captain Marvel movie! 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 22 Author Report Share Posted January 22 I was talking with a friend about Harry Potter this afternoon, and went to wizardingworld.com to look something up; and I had no idea they had this portrait maker on their site. I think I would be an awesome HP character. 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted January 22 Report Share Posted January 22 3 hours ago, SkyGirl said: really enjoyed Ms. Marvel because I learned things!! There were a lot of things about Pakistani culture and history that I didn't know much about and am excited to research more, based on watching the show. Plus a lot of their messages about family, love, loyalty, and identity really resonated with me too Yes, that's why we enjoyed it too. I loved the family and how they all supported each other. 1 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted January 23 Report Share Posted January 23 Your week actually sounded really productive; just in general, not in spite of what you were dealing with. So proud of you! ❤️ 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 26 Author Report Share Posted January 26 Henlo frens! Still dealing with depression symptoms, along with a surprise IBS flareup that made a couple of days pretty miserable, continuingly horrible dreams, allergies, a crick in my neck, a crazy work week, and unpleasant weather ... so - not a whole lot to report this week. I am feeling the "Everything Is Terrible And I Want to Change My Whole Life" mood today, so I've done some writing and chatted a little about my thoughts with a friend, and am now researching some new kettlebell moves to try (which is a bit like collecting underpants, but it's something) and crockpot recipes while also shopping for a couple new work outfits. I'm kind of somewhere between "be gentle with yourself, you're dealing with unexpected symptoms and it's okay to adjust your plan" and "you can't let your symptoms take over your life, adapt and find ways to keep going" this week. I was supposed to make some new goals after reflection and see if I could make my fifth week of the challenge a launchpad, of sorts, to start some good habits for the year. But really, I think I'm still somewhere back in the reflection stage, trying to figure out what I want to accomplish and work on, and what's reasonable to expect from myself. And, maybe that's okay. No one says I have to have all my ducks in a row by January 31st. The things I do know I want to prioritize are the very basics that I identified in the beginning: Movement, cooking, therapy, relationships, and spiritual disciplines and growth. And, prioritizing all of them at once feels a little overwhelming at the moment. So - maybe, if I can't pull together a big massive set of Goals for the next challenge, I could prioritize one of those areas in each of the next few. And at the baseline of each one is, just do something every day. Nothing has to be perfect, nothing has to be complete. More thoughts to come! But for now I'm going to watch Eamon play Portal 2 and rustle up a snack. 3 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Elastigirl Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 Sorry you have been struggling. 20 minutes ago, SkyGirl said: And at the baseline of each one is, just do something every day. Nothing has to be perfect, nothing has to be complete. I'm finding more and more that it is those little steps that make the difference. 1 Quote Wisdom 22.5 Dexterity 13 Charisma 15 Strength 21 Constitution-13 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted January 26 Report Share Posted January 26 2 hours ago, SkyGirl said: Henlo frens! Still dealing with depression symptoms, along with a surprise IBS flareup that made a couple of days pretty miserable, continuingly horrible dreams, allergies, a crick in my neck, a crazy work week, and unpleasant weather ... so - not a whole lot to report this week. I am feeling the "Everything Is Terrible And I Want to Change My Whole Life" mood today, so I've done some writing and chatted a little about my thoughts with a friend, and am now researching some new kettlebell moves to try (which is a bit like collecting underpants, but it's something) and crockpot recipes while also shopping for a couple new work outfits. I'm kind of somewhere between "be gentle with yourself, you're dealing with unexpected symptoms and it's okay to adjust your plan" and "you can't let your symptoms take over your life, adapt and find ways to keep going" this week. I was supposed to make some new goals after reflection and see if I could make my fifth week of the challenge a launchpad, of sorts, to start some good habits for the year. But really, I think I'm still somewhere back in the reflection stage, trying to figure out what I want to accomplish and work on, and what's reasonable to expect from myself. And, maybe that's okay. No one says I have to have all my ducks in a row by January 31st. The things I do know I want to prioritize are the very basics that I identified in the beginning: Movement, cooking, therapy, relationships, and spiritual disciplines and growth. And, prioritizing all of them at once feels a little overwhelming at the moment. So - maybe, if I can't pull together a big massive set of Goals for the next challenge, I could prioritize one of those areas in each of the next few. And at the baseline of each one is, just do something every day. Nothing has to be perfect, nothing has to be complete. More thoughts to come! But for now I'm going to watch Eamon play Portal 2 and rustle up a snack. Might I suggest a programmer's approach to the matter? Take your overarching goals and identify the habits that you'll need to incorporate into your life to achieve them. Then pick a couple of those to focus on for the next challenge! That's how I handle things. I want to improve my diet so I started by getting into the habit of cooking my own meals. Then I'm going to get into the habit of incorporating fruit and veg. Then I'm going to get into the habit of meal prepping my lunches, then breakfasts. Once those habits are in place, I can see how I'm feeling and see if I need to make any additional adjustments. Or for getting into better shape. I've been improving my flexibility recently, and once I can do so I'm going to get back into strength building. Then, once I'm done breastfeeding, I'll look into doing cardio. You get the picture Hopefully that helps! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 28 Author Report Share Posted January 28 On 1/25/2023 at 11:22 PM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Might I suggest a programmer's approach to the matter? Take your overarching goals and identify the habits that you'll need to incorporate into your life to achieve them. Then pick a couple of those to focus on for the next challenge! That's how I handle things. I want to improve my diet so I started by getting into the habit of cooking my own meals. Then I'm going to get into the habit of incorporating fruit and veg. Then I'm going to get into the habit of meal prepping my lunches, then breakfasts. Once those habits are in place, I can see how I'm feeling and see if I need to make any additional adjustments. Or for getting into better shape. I've been improving my flexibility recently, and once I can do so I'm going to get back into strength building. Then, once I'm done breastfeeding, I'll look into doing cardio. You get the picture Hopefully that helps! Yes, that definitely does help! ❤️ That's kind of what my idea was to start this challenge, and I just need to break things down into smaller steps or focus more narrowly on the most important things for now. 1 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 23 hours ago, SkyGirl said: Yes, that definitely does help! ❤️ That's kind of what my idea was to start this challenge, and I just need to break things down into smaller steps or focus more narrowly on the most important things for now. That makes sense! I've been in my feelings about my body and the way I look recently but I started trying to think like this instead of like I have to make a million changes at once. One thing to also keep in mind; if you end up pregnant, your goals and your energy levels will change a LOT. I was completely shook by how much I struggled. But most of your energy is going towards growing a human at that point. Priorities have to be reshuffled constantly! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 4 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: That makes sense! I've been in my feelings about my body and the way I look recently but I started trying to think like this instead of like I have to make a million changes at once. One thing to also keep in mind; if you end up pregnant, your goals and your energy levels will change a LOT. I was completely shook by how much I struggled. But most of your energy is going towards growing a human at that point. Priorities have to be reshuffled constantly! Spoiler Yeah, one thing I can't remember if I mentioned earlier in the challenge is that one of my close friends is currently pregnant; and because of legitimate reasons, I am one of only a couple of people who know, which means I've gotten a front-row seat to all her updates, vents, etc. through her first trimester. Not gonna lie, it's been super scary and triggering to see how sick she's been, and really contributed to my anxiety around TTC. That's part of why I've stepped back some on BBT tracking and test kits and whatnot, because the combination of daily check-ins with my very sick friend AND constant monitoring of my own body was sending my stress levels through the roof. BUT, on the flip side, I also have been really encouraged by the way she figured out how to keep managing day by day until she got out of first trimester and started to feel better, and it gave me real evidence for my "I can do it and I'm going to be okay" mantras. I'm thankful to have walked through the last few months with her. So it's actually been a blessing and I have a possible example of some things to expect if I do get pregnant. And one thing I've learned is that I want to be really gentle with myself if/when it happens, because it's HARD WORK and I'll hopefully be really proud of myself for getting through it and building a whole human. 3 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 I thought the challenge was over this weekend and I'm very glad it isn't! This weekend my dreams have slowly started to ease back toward their previous baseline (intense but not overwhelmingly negative), and both yesterday and today I woke up early and without the drugged/feverish feeling I'd had from nightmares the last couple weeks. My anxiety and IBS symptoms are a little elevated but my depression symptoms are easing a bit, and that's a balance I can live with. Plus, the weather has been warmer and sunnier this weekend (certainly correlated!), I got a little exercise, and I reached out to plan some get-togethers with friends in coming weeks, so overall, I feel pretty good. This week, I'm going to resume reflection on what big goals I want to pursue, as well as try to stick with one or two tiny goals in the meantime. I do know I want to target some specific muscle groups (upper body, core/back, knee stabilizers) and lose maybe 10 pounds, so that's a starting direction. For this week, that might look like: Do 2 kettlebell workouts that target upper body and glutes Do one 30-second plank daily Track all meals on 6 days a week and aim for 1300-1400 calories/day* *Almost every calorie calculator I've used recommends 1200 calories a day for weight loss, because I'm very tiny and don't move much; but when I've tried that in the past I basically hate life. So I'm bumping it a little higher to see if that's more manageable. Also! Use my habit tracker! I've been letting perfectionism guilt me away from using it ("I only did one goal yesterday, I'm a failure"), but MY LITTLE FINCH IS DEPENDING ON ME TO SHOW UP and I'm gonna do that even if I'm not perfect at it, dang it!! 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Ziraiah Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Oh yes, 1200 kcal is way too little! Even for a tiny person. That's messed up any calorie calculator even suggests that low numbers. I'm glad you listen to your body and bump up the calorie amount. 💪 1 Quote Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 31 Author Report Share Posted January 31 14 hours ago, Ziraiah said: Oh yes, 1200 kcal is way too little! Even for a tiny person. That's messed up any calorie calculator even suggests that low numbers. I'm glad you listen to your body and bump up the calorie amount. 💪 Yeah, I'm currently using Lose It! to track my calories, and that actually has a warning on it that says something like, "This number is actually too low to be healthy, so please don't do this; but in the free version we can't let you customize your calories, so you're stuck with the faulty output of our algorithm". I found an NIH source that recommended 1500-ish to maintain, 1450-ish to lose. Today I tried to stick to around 1450 and it felt ... slim. But that's also because I didn't have enough carbs with dinner, plus being super tired. Tomorrow will be another data point. (Also welcome! I see you're new around here! ❤️ I'm glad you're here and hope you're finding some kindred spirits - I'll come check out your challenge too! ) 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 31 Author Report Share Posted January 31 Today was a good day! I had a super easy commute to and from work; work was productive and I started some really exciting projects; I stuck to my calorie goals (well, except for binging blueberries at the end of the day and, appropriately, bloating myself up like the blueberry girl in Willy Wonka); I did some light stretching and one circuit of the kettlebell workout plus a plank; and after a nice hot shower I curled up with some tea and watched Eamon play a quiet computer game. It's warm here for another day, so we have the window open, and while it mostly smells like traffic, it's nice to have some outside air. Today I resisted seeking reassurance when my emetophobia was triggered, and I'm not sure if that was good or bad or neutral, but I felt proud of myself for deciding to sit in the discomfort and try to let things be, especially since seeking reassurance would have involved my either being rude or sneaky, and I wasn't comfortable with either. It definitely ramped up my anxiety levels past moderately high, but I'm getting so much better at reminding myself that I am safe, and even if my worst fear happens, I will be okay and I will be cared for. ❤️ I'm still on the waiting list for the phobia therapists but I'm trying to gently push myself a little while I wait. We also heard today that our in-office requirements may be changing, which makes me a little unsettled ... currently I only have to report into the office once a week, which is nice since my commute is about 40-50 minutes each way; and while I can go in more often than that, it'll definitely require a family logistics meeting to work out our schedules and car usage. And ... I don't really need to go to the office for my job except on infrequent occasions, so ordering me to come sit at a desk and do the exact same thing I'd be doing at home ... feels unnecessary. I'm going to try to be a positive and cooperative employee, but at the moment I feel unsettled about it. We should get more details soon, so ... more sitting in discomfort for me. Lastly, one area I haven't done much goal-setting in is creative work, but I'd really like to try to write some more fiction or poetry, write longer posts for my personal social media, practice creating reels, etc. to hone my skills and try to put more personal work out there. (I work in social media for my job, but obviously that's their content, not mine!) No actionable goals associated with that yet but I wanted to bring it onto my own radar. Time for snoozles! Hopefully another modestly successful day tomorrow! 5 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted February 3 Author Report Share Posted February 3 Woof, how is it already Thursday?? 😮 This week has been intensely busy and I'm a little worn out, in part because I got a new mouthguard from the dentist on Tuesday and I don't think it fits right?? So it's painful when I'm sleeping and has been waking me up. 😕 Plus my allergies are terrible and the dreams are back to being more intense and feverish-ish again, so I'm not sure the sleep I am getting is of especially good quality either. But! I've stuck pretty close to my calorie goals all week, I've been planking, and today I did an excellent workout. I was going to do the usual kettlebell circuit, but partway in I decided I was too tired and didn't feel like it; so I decided to lie down on the floor and see how many moves I could do with a kettlebell lying down or sitting. Turns out, you can at least do Russian twists, chest presses (both hands together and one hand at a time); and I also did dead bugs, glute bridges, and some deadlifts, once I got back up. I need to look up technique for a couple of the moves, since I'd never tried them before and they felt messy, but I was proud of myself for listening to my energy levels while still finding ways to work my target muscle groups and tire myself out! Time for bed and tomorrow is FRIYAY!!! 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted February 8 Author Report Share Posted February 8 A very sleepy "henlo" from an uncomfortably tall seat at the airport terminal! Eamon and I are traveling to a conference tonight, but our flight has been delayed by 3+ hours, so we're settled in for a long wait and occupying ourselves with reading, writing and music. I fell off the wagon with my goal habits this weekend due to having my anxiety embarrassingly but severely triggered ... 😔 Short version, I was overwhelmed over the weekend by attending a baby shower (full of nosy and inappropriate questions about our reproductive plans); my best friend gushing about how happy she is to be pregnant and how she can't wait until I am too; and some (almost certainly stress-related and now resolved) stomach symptoms that I worried were, in fact, early pregnancy symptoms. My core belief that I'm not cut out for marriage and motherhood got very painfully triggered and I spiraled very quickly into deep anxiety that showed up as gruesome nightmares and several near-panic attacks over the next couple of days. It's embarrassing to suffer so severely when a) I know that core belief isn't true, and b) I know the tools to stop anxiety spirals and could have tried more aggressively to interrupt the spiral (if I'd realized it was going to be that severe, which I didn't). But ... well, I have anxiety, and my anxiety is rooted in those kinds of negative core beliefs, and sometimes they get triggered and this happens. 🤷♀️ Beating myself up doesn't help. I've tried to be gentle with myself the last couple days as I recover, talk to myself positively and encouragingly, and reach out to a couple of my close circle to talk through things. On a side note, noticing how many precipitous mental health downturns I've had in this challenge alone, I've started thinking again about pursuing medication ... I read something the other day that stuck with me, someone who said she went on anti-anxiety meds "Because [she] wanted to enjoy life in the moment, not afterward". That really got me thinking, because so much of the last few years of my life has been like that. I've gritted my teeth and suffered through the panic and fear around wonderful transitions in my life (dating/engagement/marriage, moving, travel, going out in the field for work, preparing to become a mom, etc.), and while I remember them fondly afterward, most of them have been agony in the moment. 😕 I think the standard advice for pregnant women that I've heard is to only go / stay on anxiety and depression meds during pregnancy if it's really necessary, and otherwise to try to get off - but I'm going to do more research to be sure. And if any of y'all have had different experiences, I'd love to know. (Side note: Part of TTC that sucks is the constant rollercoaster of putting your life on hold as if you are pregnant for two or three weeks at a time, only to get your period and realize you've been holding your breath for nothing again. ) Anyway, thanks for listening to me process. I likely won't get back in the swing of things until next week since we're traveling, so I'm thankful for Zero Week to get back home and reset. In the interim, I want to try to get movement in every day we're on our trip (even if that's just stretching); write some poetry for a poetry contest at my favorite magazine; enjoy good food, fresh air, and sunshine; keep important elements of my routine (coffee and Bible reading specifically); and especially spending time with Eamon and being nice to myself. 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 51 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 I fully support you looking to meds. If the tools you already have and use aren't enough on their own to mitigate the anxiety, then it's time to add meds to your list of tools. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 Certain medications are considered safer than others, but my dosage was increased while I was pregnant. (Not that we knew at the time...) It did absolutely nothing to my baby girl, and most doctors at this point won't pull you off of antidepressants/antianxiety unless the particular medication has very common and serious issues/repercussions during pregnancy. Especially with how severe your anxiety is. Anxiety like that is actually significantly more detrimental to your baby than the possible effects of most antidepressants. The one that's the "most safe" is Zoloft, but I was on the highest dose of Celexa that they'll give you and I had no issues (Lexapro is essentially the same chemical, just more refined and often more helpful). The thing you have to consider here is the word necessary. I know that most people(particularly those who grew up in a Christian church like us) are conditioned into thinking that our anxiety and depression are things we can completely control whether through prayer, diet, actions, whatever. Or, even worse, that they're some kind of proof of a lack of faith somehow. But that often trivializes something that's not trivial at all. When you're anxious, your body thinks it's in serious danger, so your body processes change; which could be detrimental to a pregnancy. Your anxiety is very severe and it's not trivial at all. I would say that considering the mental and physical changes pregnancy has on the body, antidepressants/anxieties are beyond necessary for you. Obviously it shouldn't be the first and only coping mechanism. But we also shouldn't be afraid to use it to help us cope either. You deserve to feel better. Period. 1 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Part III: Baby Steps Are Still Forward Movement Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56 Link to comment
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