Do or Do Not, there is no try

[RedCedar]

I am tired of “trying†to lose weight and get in shape. I’m tired of vaguely Stumbling the interest “fitness†for hours every night, waiting for motivation to fall from the sky. Motivation is not going to come from anywhere else but inside me. And although StumbleUpon helped me discover this wonderful site, (over a year and a half ago!) I have come to the conclusion that it is not an effective way to go about getting healthy. It is time to stop looking for an easier path, it is time to stop saying “man, I’d love to look like that, do that, etc.â€. It is time to stop “trying†and start doing!

It’s also time to stop lurking around the fringes of this seemingly awesome community like a total creeper, and join the damn rebellion!

So here it goes….

I’m 23 and have been battling one form of eating disorder or another since the time I was about 8. Mostly it has been compulsive overeating, but a 3-year stretch of anorexia and bulimia in high school has left my body overly susceptible to that “starvation mode switchâ€. This switch causes my body to cling tightly to every single calorie within a 5-mile radius if my caloric intake drops just a little too low. This means weight loss plateaus happen quickly and often and not only stall, but reverse my momentum. I’m tired of yo-yoing on a 20-30 lbs swing every few months. In this constant cycle of gaining and losing and regaining weight, I have not been able to get below 200 lbs for at least 5 years. I’m tired of always “trying†to lose weight, only to give up when it gets hard.

No, I’m not tired, I am DONE. This is not going to be just another healthy kick or weight loss attempt, this is the beginning of another life; a leveled up life.

(Whew! Thanks for letting me get that rant out. I didn’t know I had it in me.)

So that’s where I came from, but that’s not the important part. Here is where I am going:

A pull up.

I do have more goals than that. But this is the first step. This is the first big barrier. I clear this hurdle, and I am pretty damn sure that I will feel unstoppable. And totally badass.

How I’m gonna get there: I am currently one week into a modified Paleo diet. The goal is to try it for 6 weeks to see if it will work for me, and be the right balance to keep me from going overboard with the restrictions. I am focusing on cutting out grains and processed foods, reducing dairy, and upping my protein intake (about 1:1 carbs to protein). It took the sale last week to get me to finally purchase the Rebel Strength Training Guide. (The large zip up hoodie I ordered with it is just a little bit snug around the middle, but makes me feel like I have super human powers of will power when I wear it!) I am 3 works outs into the basic training portion of the guide. I am still tracking progress with my nemesis The Scale, but I did bring myself to take a picture the other day. (I had to lose just a little bit before I felt comfortable)

I am really putting my ish on blast here, so I really appreciate it if you took the time to read all this. I just needed to get out of my head and make myself accountable. I am really stoked to transition for voyeur to voyager in this awesome community ☺

[RedCedar]

*I am really stoked to transition FROM voyeur to voyager....

Well damn... first post ever in a forum and I made a typo on the last line.

[Susie_Derkins]

Hi Red,

I'm also new and also working on the blasted pullup. (Technically, I'm working on a chinup - because it's easier.) As someone whose past is also littered with ED's, I really admire your focus on a fitness-related goal, not a weight goal.

Best of luck! I've enjoyed what I've seen in the forums so far and I think you'll find a lot of support here.

alex

[VorJoshigan]

Nice! Very apropos to today's blog post.

I think that you will find that the more you cut grains & sugar out of your life, the more you will be in control of what/why/when/where/how you eat. For me, it's like they flip a damn switch - IT'S TIME TO EAT! & it takes incredible focus and concentration to not obey.

I can't even imagine doing a pullup, so major respect from me for making that a goal of yours. I just wanted to give the finger to the PE instructor every time it came up. hmmm - that was a little taste of fury and despair that I thought I had forgotten about.

[Red1263]

Hey hey Another Red! Welcome to the Rebellion! Here we can help you with anything you might need from Advice to Motivation via a fire underneath you to help you feel the burn of the Pull-up! Just don't hesitate to ask. I am going to bounce off what Susie said and start with Chin-ups if not that then inverted rows, if not that then 1-arm rows to build up the strength because a Pull-up is No joke, but trust me dude, it's just pure satisfaction when you see yourself off the ground. Good luck to you and I'll be seeing you around!

[RedCedar]

Thanks for the warm welcome

I'm also working on both chins and pulls, but a pull up is the main goal. My approach thus far as been body weight inverted rows and assisted pulls using the assisted pull-ups machine (*gasp* a machine!). I like having a numerical measure of how far away I am from being able to to a real pull-up, how much I need to lose in weight and gain in strength. Currently I am able to pull/chin about 125 lbs for 3X5... and have quite a while to go. I appreciate all the support already and hope I will be able to reciprocate soon.

Also if anyone is feeling the need to talk/vent/discuss/whatever about the challenges of getting healthy while or after dealing with ED, feel free to shoot me a message. I'm a good listener and occasionally have advice if you want it.

[RedCedar]

*ED as in eating disorders. Being a dyke I can't really help with the other kind of ED

[luaurenpants]

welcome! I have had my own ED battles in the past, and like Susie_D said, it's great to be able to focus on a fitness goal v. a weight goal :-)

I have faith in your pull-up abilities. I am working toward one too!