Seabright's 2023 Battle Log of Awesomeness

[Seabright]

GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALS!

 

Yay for the Year of the Rabbit! Time to focus on rest, introspection, and working smarter, not harder. Time to chill a bit and go with the flow. 

 

With that in mind, I'm going to keep my goals from 2022 going a bit longer. I feel that I'm definitely on-track with how focused those are and I think another year operating in this way will help solidify some life changes. I'll keep my check-ins to the weekly rhythm I established last year, since that worked well for me --- often enough to stay accountable, but not  so much as to be a distraction from actually doing things. 

 

I'm also adding in my Big Why and Internal Motivations to the articulation of my goals, just to keep those things front and center. Soooo, here we go!

 

 

My Big Why

• Human adventurer, I want to be fit and healthy so I can explore and enjoy all the beauty the outdoor world has to offer, in all kinds of weather, all the days of my life. 

 

 

My Internal Motivations

• I feel better when I stay on track with my eating and skip the sugar and alcohol.
• I feel more relaxed and able to go with the flow when I do yoga and Tai Chi first thing in the morning.
• I feel healthy, happy, and proud when I finish my daily walk.
• I feel more optimistic when I work on my own writing every day.

 

 

My 2023 Goals

 

1. Eat right and take care of myself

• Stay on track with the my totally chill eating style. It's working, and I feel better this way.
• Prioritize all health and wellness appointments. Why be a hero? I'm putting myself first in my own schedule.
• Prioritize hiking, camping, outdoor time. Also, I love solo hiking. I'd like to find a way to get some of this for myself this year. 
• Add one new fitness-oriented activity to my world. I can experiment my way into this--line dancing, a martial arts class, archery, etc.
• Hang with friends more often as a regular thing. Stop thinking about this and just do it.

 

2. At work, I care about just 2 things

• Partnerships & Accessibility. That's it.
• When a niggle arises where I'm tempted to feel ire or weigh in with my over-heated point of view, I will ask myself 3 things.
• Will caring about this...
  • Get me outdoors more?
  • Help me hang out with friends?
  • Make an impact on accessibility?

 

3. Finish the remodel in one piece and then party down

• It will take focus and positive energy to get through this and stay on track with eating and taking care of myself. 
• 10 weeks in a 10-foot trailer has the potential to take a toll unless I work to stay upbeat and positive. A sense of humor will be needed at all times. 
• Things will come up, some stuff will happen, pivots will be made at the last minute. I want to stay chill and go with the flow.
• I've wanted this for more than 15 years, and finishing it will be a huge achievement. I want to celebrate with a big ol' pickin' party and take the new kitchen and bathroom out for a spin!

 

 

POWER WORD FOR 2023: Flow

• Time to take all the learnings and progress from the last year and let that infuse me with a sense of peace.
• I'll approach my goals this year with a sense of flow and calmness. Like water, I'll gently guide myself toward the direction I want to go, and let that momentum carry me forward. No need to paddle hard, the flow of the gentle current will take me there.
• I've written my word at the top of my daily to-do list, on my weekly financial check-in sheet, and on a sticky at the top of my screen.

 

 

All righty, Rebels! Stay chill, stay groovy, walk the straight and narrow and stay strong and true!

 

 

[Jackdaw]

Great goals. I love the idea with the power word! How is it going?

[Seabright]

Friday, Feb 3

 

Welp, I'm successfully avoiding perfection! Yay for me!

 

Self-Care

• I went to my first Tai Chi class in XX years last night! No one in my Yang family lineage in my area, so had to drive up to the big city---1 1/2 hours each way. 
• I had a GREAT night's sleep last night, and slept all the way through until my dawn alarm clock started to glow. The first time in weeks. Tai Chi-related? Mmmmmmmmaaaybe.
• Took several short walks this week between meetings, did my form several times, and finding that I have more energy overall. Woo hoo!

Caring about stuff

• Have had some back-slippage since last December as far as the caffeine intake goes, which is a bummer since I'd been caffeine-free for almost a year.
• I notice that I'm starting to let work stuff bother me again. No bueno.
• I kept reading my 'these are the only two things I care about at work' goal again and again, but it didn't help.
• Whiskey shots didn't help either.
• Time to address the caffeine intake!  My feeling is that it's directly tied to caring too much about the wrong things.
• I need to lean into the not-being-perfect-me and tell myself that it's okay to be tired and brain-foggy at work for a while. It will go away and I'll feel a whole lot better.

Remodel

• Was told by the uber-expensive tile supplier that they would be happy to assist with final ordering....for a fee of 5% of the total order price. 
• To which we said, "Pppphhhhffffft." Or words to that effect.
• Went somewhere else, found something very similar with similar trims, for a fraction of the price and the lead time.
• Dropped the dream of frameless shower doors and went with a curved curtain rod. Yay for staying in the budget!
• Embraced the fact that we will be living in a 10-foot trailer for 8 weeks and started to dig in on how to make that work with our indoor kitty. 

Other stuff

• Realized this week that the coughing was just so much better compared to where I was this time last year. I'm not out of the woods, but it was significant that I didn't have to step outside during my tai chi lesson for a coughing fit. Win!
• Got together with a friend and worked up 'The Parting Glass' in three-part harmony, all the way through. So fun and inspiring. 

Next week

• Pick one tiny teeny tiny itsy bitsy little thing from my work to-do list and do it. Just one little teeny tiny thing. That's it. Just one.
• Work on remembering the 40. 
• Finalize the bathroom floor and get all this stuff ordered.

 

See ya next week, you fabulous rebels, you!

[Seabright]

Wed, Feb 15

 

So much muchness! Onward!

 

Self-Care

• Committed to 6 months of Tai Chi and asked Sifu for a digitized version of the 40 so I could watch it while practicing. Picked up a sword for the first time in a looooong time. Didn't hurt myself!
• Signed up at a gym. Wait...what??? Fact. Had my first visit with the trainer who was fabulous, listened, and got me started on things I could do. Slept the first night without hip pain in a looooong time. Didn't hurt myself!
• Weighed myself and things have snuck in an awkwardly upwardly direction over the last few months. Time to get back on track. I blame Lara and her bars.

Caring about stuff

• Pretty good week in the not-caring-about-stuff department. I even gave a short talk on it. 
• Was in a meeting where things were definitely headed in a direction I wasn't crazy about. I asked myself how much it mattered, if it was really any of my business, if opening my mouth would influence the outcome at all, and a few other questions. Decided it was best not to care---and I felt so much better about it! Quite the revelation.

Remodel

• Ordered all the tile! 
• Now onto light fixtures and knobs and pulls!
• Way over budget!
• Just realized that we have to pack up all our stuff and store it somewhere! Which means cleaning out the basement!
• Hilarity ensued.

Other stuff

• At work was told that my office was becoming a 'flex space' and I had to move all my stuff out by next Wednesday. Oh, fine. FINE.

Next week

• Work on the 40, hard core,  every day.
• Go to the gym 2 times next week.
• Get something done at work. Anything. Anything at all.

[Seabright]

Fri, Feb 24

 

I have to say, reading my Big Why and Internal Motivations now and then really helps me stay focused. I just read an email I sent to myself listing these things--made me feel really good to remember that it's all about those baby steps.

 

Self-Care

• I've driven up to SF for my Tai Chi class twice since I signed up. It's quite a drive! Worth it, though, especially last night when I was the only student there, along with TWO instructors. Talk about personalized form correction!  Slept great last night. 
• At the gym, I took advantage of my 2 sessions with a trainer, and then went on my own for the first time on Tuesday. I told myself all I had to do was go, walk in, do 2 things, and leave. I ended up doing more though. 😉 These sessions are now on my calendar for Tuesdays and Fridays. Based on last Tuesday, I can get there, do the thing, and then get back home in approx 40 mins, and that's with stopping for a lottery ticket at Mr. B's Liquors on the way back. Win!
• Trimmed waaaaaaay back on the Larabars this week, substituting applesauce instead. Still had a couple, but nothing compared to my 2-a-day habit. Also declined a second beer. Baby steps.

Caring about stuff

• Coached someone on my team in the art of not-caring. Not sure he was convinced, but it really solidified my own not-caring-so-much-about-absolutely-everything status as the correct direction to take. 
• Found I did care about something deeply, though, and instead of mentally grousing about it I took action and just put forward a prototype for an alternate approach. We'll see what people think---I can't control that part, though. At least I did the thing and maybe got people thinking.

Remodel

• Finally signed the contract!
• Sent the deposit for the countertop!
• Took next week off to start sorting through belongings in prep for packing things up!
• Gosh, after 20 years, this is really going to happen!

Other stuff

• My birthday is on Monday. Happy birthday to me!
• For the first time in a long time, I haven't focused on my weight during this birthday milestone, and instead have focused on the life changes with Tai Chi and the gym. 
• I'm feeling pretty good about all of that. 

Next week

• Work on the 40, rain or shine.
• Go to the gym 2 times next week.
• It's a vacation, so do something vacation-y. We were originally scheduled to head to Anza Borrego with our little trailer, but with rain and snow and low temps, we bagged that idea. Maybe we can sneak in an afternoon sail if the weather clears up.

[Seabright]

Wed, Mar 15

 

Took a vacation in there, sorta. We couldn't actually get to our desert Anza Borrego destination due to all roads there being closed by snowstorms, so glad that we had already bagged that idea. So weird. Instead, watched lots of Eureka and took plenty of naps with kitty Dolly. Big win for Dolly!

 

Self-Care

• Driving up to my Tai Chi class in SF in the howling wind and rain made me feel unstoppable! 
• Up to about 15 minutes of standing meditation at a time.
• Learned a new form. Turns out, in the last 30 years that particular school added 3 forms that people learn BEFORE the 24 (short) form. 
• Practicing all 3 forms on the back patio when it's not raining. I can hear my hip sockets cracking and protesting but they'll get over it.
• Multiple trips to the gym for my little baby gettin'-to-know-ya-again-hey-there-muscles workout. 

Caring about stuff

• The director-level person that I had specifically decided to not-care about is leaving the company, last day Mar 23. 
• Had to remind myself to not-care when someone overstepped with an employee of mine. Kept my cool, not-cared, and gently fixed the issue so that it won't happen again.
• Challenged to not-care right now, though. I'm back in the workplace office and the sun is shining directly into my eyes, searing them out of their sockets, and since it's high-tech, there's no simple way to just freakin' lower the shades. 

Remodel

• Kitchen almost all packed.
• Pre-construction meeting set for this Thursday. 
• OMG!!!
• Convinced spousal unit that the first week or so will just be an experiment while we figure out what works. 
• No rain for the next few days, which will really help.
• Still need to pick out paint colors.

Other stuff

• Getting into the swing of coming back into the office twice a week. 
• I'm a trained professional and this does not phase me.
• I also sorta like being here. I just don't like driving to get here. 

Next week

• Demo starts on Monday! I hereby vow to keep my cool and not-care.
• Time to get out my wooden sword and start working on re-learning how to handle it. I'll have to get over the fact that there will be a bunch of construction workers around who will be able to stand right there and watch me. Argh. Maybe I can bundle up and do stuff way early?  Experiment!
• Go to the gym 2 times next week. Maybe add a third set of everything if I'm feeling it.

 

Onward!

[Seabright]

Fri, Mar 24

 

Rain, rain, high winds, floods, rain, the levee broke, hurricane-force wind, some more rain, the main water line in the trailer sprang a leak, rain, yard too flooded to work in,  horrific drive through the mountains, and then more rain, again, too, as well, also.

 

It's been quite a week here at Seabright Industries, a Santa-Cruz -based global conglomerate.

 

Self-Care

• Ye gods. Tough week.
• Did get to the gym on Wed and going again this afternoon. 
• Showers! Hot showers!
• Morning meditation and journaling took a backseat to tending to the needs of a howling, terrified kitty. It's tough to be smol. 
• Kept my cool the whole time, though.
• Yay for me!

Caring about stuff

• Started to care about something quite vigorously, then reminded myself to not-care. 
• Spoke out a single time, and then shut up. 
• This is so very hard for me, but I do feel a difference in my overall anxiety level and how others respond to me. 

Remodel

• Yowzah!
• Kitchen & bath demo complete.
• So cool to see studs made of 3-inch-thick pieces of old-growth redwood, built over 100 years ago, standing the test of time. 
• Framing rough complete.
• Plumbing rough 50% done.
• Already.
• Holy smokes! This is what happens when you prepare for a year and carefully, carefully select your contractor. These folks work 4 10-hour days, followed by a Friday off when a sub comes in and does their thing. Careful planning and scheduling, all materials at hand, they've done this a million times, in our town, on houses as old as ours.
• Speed, baby! Speed!
• Rain interfered with getting all set up with our trailer-and-kitchen-tent living alternatives, and wreaked havoc with planned routines. 
• Water leak in the trailer! Argh! Using porta potty in the driveway while the spousal unit works on a tricky fix. We are trained professionals and this does not phase us.
• No rain for the next few days, which will allow us to find our balance again. 
• Everyone still upright and taking nourishment. 
• One week down, 7-9 more to go!
• Win!

Other stuff

• Volunteered to do something at work. Regretting it.
• I just have one more thing to do with the above and then it will be done.
• Almost done, I tell you!
• If I can only stay focused today....

Next week

• Get back on track with all my routines: standing, journaling, tai chi-ing, gym-ing, going-into-the-office-ing.
• And bathing. 😉

 

Walk the straight and narrow, Rebels, and stay strong and true!

 

[Seabright]

Tues, Apr 5

 

Things are going great, and they're only getting better. I'm doing alright, getting good grades, my future's so bright, I gotta wear....

 

You get the picture. 

 

Self-Care

• All is well.
• I went to the gym yesterday, and boy howdy did it feel good to get back over there.
• My trainer was working with someone else, and brought her client over to watch me use the ab bench. 'That's how you do it, nice and slow,' I heard her say, 'Watch how she comes to the top, holds it for a second, and then takes twice as long to go back down.' 
• Gee, that made my heart glow, especially since I see people just pumpin' 'em out on that thing. That's going to keep me warm on those long winter nights/
• Steady-eddie with Tai Chi and my trips up to the big city. How I love it so! Would that I had world enough and time!

Caring about stuff

• Not-caring is starting to come more naturally.
• Nothing to report.

Remodel

• 2 1/2 weeks down!
• Plumbing rough done.
• Vent for hood in.
• Electrical rough done.
• Inspection done.
• Dry wall up.
• Another inspection done.
• The shower in the trailer is awesome! Piping hot water and plenty of it! Yay!
• Kitty really hates the nights in the trailer, and she's been having terrible little panic attacks. One of them reminded so much of an episode with my dad, that I'm thinking she may have some age-related cognition things happening. Anyhoo, we made the tough decision to leave her in my office at night, where she seems to feel the most safe. The spousal unit did get a baby monitor, though, in case she cried and needed her mommy and daddy. 
• We're all sleeping better now. 

Other stuff

• The thing I volunteered to do is done.
• Now sharing it out with the mighty titans.
• This has put me far, far behind in some other things.
• I'm trying to not-care about that.
• My new saying to help me not-care: "Oh well. I'll do better next time."

Next week

• Add in all the rest of my self-care. Still need to get back to standing and doing a little walking during the day.
• Publish one tiny little article. Just one.
• Pick out glass for cabinets.
• Pick out knobs and pulls for kitchen.
• Get back to walking in the redwoods after work. 

 

Okie dokie, Rebels! Staying strong and true!

[Seabright]

Thurs Apr 6

 

Feeling like my brain is in disarray and in need of a good clean-out.

 

Here are the things on my mind, in no particular order:

 

Mar month-end finance wrap

Pay that one bill that's been lingering

Text my sister in law

Call my oldest brother

Call my aunt

Call that one friend from years and years ago who sends me birthday cards every year

Get that one article finished and out there

Audit the new accessibility page

Get the clarkias in the ground

Practice my forms in the plural

I've gained weight and nothing fits---again

 

Here is my action plan for each:

• Mar month-end finance wrap
  Do this tomorrow during the day. Block time on cal right now to complete.
   
• Pay that one bill that's been lingering
  Find out if can pay by Zelle. Send a note right now and ask.
   
• Text my sister in law
  This doesn't need to be a long thing. Just send a quick check-in. You can even start with 'Quick check-in' and go from there. 
   
• Call my oldest brother
  Calling is tough so just acknowledge that. Send him a quick email to check in. You can even start with 'Quick check-in' and go from there.
   
• Call my aunt
  Ditto. Same as above. Quick e to check in and let her know it's tough to call right now.
   
• Call that one friend from years and years ago who sends me birthday cards every year
  She would rather get a quick e to check in, rather than nothing at all. So do that. It's okay to keep it simple --- this doesn't need to be the story of your life. A few salient details then, 'More later'. 
   
• Get that one article finished and out there
  You're over-thinking this. The point is to get words out. You can follow up with fab pics and formatting later.
   
• Audit the new accessibility page
  Yes, this page is awful. And it's going to stay awful if someone doesn't take responsibility for it. YOU are SOMEONE. With that being said, don't overthink this. Just send the team a heads-up that you'll be adding stuff to their bug sheet over the next few weeks as time allows. Do that today. Then, go for one thing a day.
   
• Get the clarkias in the ground
  Keep them watered daily. Put in ground Saturday morning. 
   
• Practice my forms in the plural
  Get over yourself. Yes, it's cold. So what? Put on a jacket, scarf, and hat, and do these while waiting for breakfast to heat up.
   
• Gained weight and nothing fits
  You hold the key to this right in your hand. You know what to do. You're worried it will add to your stress, but I can guaran-freakin'-tee you that you will feel better, more relaxed, and back in control if you straighten up and fly right. Good start this morning with planning on eating lunch before leaving for the big city, and for bringing along a fairly healthy frozen dinner to chow down on before your class. You can do this! I believe in you!

 

Okay. There we go. Feeling better.

 

Now, to execute!

 

Onward!

[Seabright]

Action plan progress as of 4/6/23

• Mar month-end finance wrap
  Do this tomorrow during the day. Block time on cal right now to complete.
  Time now blocked on calendar
   
• Pay that one bill that's been lingering
  Find out if can pay by Zelle. Send a note right now and ask.
  Email sent! Paid!
   
• Text my sister in law
  This doesn't need to be a long thing. Just send a quick check-in. You can even start with 'Quick check-in' and go from there. 
  Done!
   
• Call my oldest brother
  Calling is tough so just acknowledge that. Send him a quick email to check in. You can even start with 'Quick check-in' and go from there.
  Done!
   
• Call my aunt
  Ditto. Same as above. Quick e to check in and let her know it's tough to call right now.
  Done!
   
• Call that one friend from years and years ago who sends me birthday cards every year
  She would rather get a quick e to check in, rather than nothing at all. So do that. It's okay to keep it simple --- this doesn't need to be the story of your life. A few salient details then, 'More later'. 
   
• Get that one article finished and out there
  You're over-thinking this. The point is to get words out. You can follow up with fab pics and formatting later.
   
• Audit the new accessibility page
  Yes, this page is awful. And it's going to stay awful if someone doesn't take responsibility for it. YOU are SOMEONE. With that being said, don't overthink this. Just send the team a heads-up that you'll be adding stuff to their bug sheet over the next few weeks as time allows. Do that today. Then, go for one thing a day.
   
• Get the clarkias in the ground
  Keep them watered daily. Put in ground Saturday morning. 
   
• Practice my forms in the plural
  Get over yourself. Yes, it's cold. So what? Put on a jacket, scarf, and hat, and do these while waiting for breakfast to heat up.
   
• Gained weight and nothing fits
  You hold the key to this right in your hand. You know what to do. You're worried it will add to your stress, but I can guaran-freakin'-tee you that you will feel better, more relaxed, and back in control if you straighten up and fly right. Good start this morning with planning on eating lunch before leaving for the big city, and for bringing along a fairly healthy frozen dinner to chow down on before your class. You can do this! I believe in you!

 

[Seabright]

Action plan progress as of 4/14/23

• Mar month-end finance wrap
  Do this tomorrow during the day. Block time on cal right now to complete.
  DONE!
   
• Call that one friend from years and years ago who sends me birthday cards every year
  She would rather get a quick e to check in, rather than nothing at all. So do that. It's okay to keep it simple --- this doesn't need to be the story of your life. A few salient details then, 'More later'. 
   
• Get that one article finished and out there
  You're over-thinking this. The point is to get words out. You can follow up with fab pics and formatting later.
  DONE!
   
• Audit the new accessibility page
  Yes, this page is awful. And it's going to stay awful if someone doesn't take responsibility for it. YOU are SOMEONE. With that being said, don't overthink this. Just send the team a heads-up that you'll be adding stuff to their bug sheet over the next few weeks as time allows. Do that today. Then, go for one thing a day.
   
• Get the clarkias in the ground
  Keep them watered daily. Put in ground Saturday morning. 
  DONE!
   
• Practice my forms in the plural
  Get over yourself. Yes, it's cold. So what? Put on a jacket, scarf, and hat, and do these while waiting for breakfast to heat up.
  BACK ON TRACK!
   
• Gained weight and nothing fits
  You hold the key to this right in your hand. You know what to do. You're worried it will add to your stress, but I can guaran-freakin'-tee you that you will feel better, more relaxed, and back in control if you straighten up and fly right. Good start this morning with planning on eating lunch before leaving for the big city, and for bringing along a fairly healthy frozen dinner to chow down on before your class. You can do this! I believe in you!

[gonegirldelightful]

Your 2023 goals sound totally chill and achievable, and I love that your power word for the year is "flow".

[Seabright]

Mon Apr 24

 

I'm not okay today.  Someone I care about decided to leave this world. I just want to let someone know.

 

The Internet is a strange place. Here, in the quiet of my office, it's just me and my battle log. I don't have to pretend, or worry that my team will find out about the sorrow I'm feeling, and worry that they will wonder if I'm going to be 'productive.'  Should I tell them? I would be 'modeling the behavior' for them, to show them that it's okay to let others know when you're not okay, when you need a minute. I just don't want a lot of sympathy. I just want them to sorta know.

 

And now that I write that, I can see that the right thing to do is just to put a little message in Slack. Those on my team who sometimes struggle will see it, and maybe see that it's okay not to be perfect all the time.

 

[Seabright]

Monday, May 8

 

Catch-up time!

 

I feel like I've taken a bit of a step backwards, health-wise. Coughing my head off all over the dang place. Some of it is crummy nutrition, some of it is dust from construction, some of it is fluffy gray kitty hair, and some of it is that ol' standby stress. So many things! Let's look at 'em by category.

 

Self-Care

• Eating has devolved to microwavable everything. Those lovely, fluffy, puff-ball plans to keep cooking nutritious food and FOMAP-eschewing  meals has come to naught. Naught, I tell you! Naught!
• Adult beverages every night.
• Too much caffeine.
• Haven't been to the gym in weeks.
• Hanging tough with Tai Chi class, though. Still showing up and doing the thing. 
• I did a bit of standing this morning. First time since starting the remodel. Felt good.

Caring about stuff

• Started caring about work things.
• Which led to stressing out about a sudden leadership change.
• Which then led to stressing out about doing a year-end write-up self evaluation that justifies my existence, but not too obviously. 
• I had actually forgotten that I wasn't going to care about this stuff. 
• Behold the value in regular updates!

Remodel

• 7 weeks down. I think. I'm losing track.
• Cabinets are pretty much up.
• Knobs and pulls are almost all on.
• Sinks are in.
• Counters are in. They are gorgeous.
• Bathroom shower stall holds water.
• Tiling has started. 
• Kitty had her first big let-me-out-of-here episode today. The weather is lovely and she wanted OUT.
• I'm taking the odd shower in the basement garage at work.
• It really is going to be lovely, but we are now definitely in the long, dark tea-time of the soul.

Other stuff

• The homeopathy is on-going. I feel like I need a break from digging up and dealing with the horrors of my past, though.
• I volunteered at the Point Lobos Spring Bio Blitz (to count species) and met a bunch of people who also like to drop to their knees in the middle of a hike to marvel at a fairy lantern calochortus. My people!
• We really do live in a beautiful world. 

Next week

• Keep on with the standing.
• That's it.
• That's all I'm going to ask of myself.
• That's the one thing.

 

Sheesh. I hope you. are all hanging in there, Rebel brethren! 

 

Onward!

[Sovalis]

Hi Seabright! Just found your thread. You have wonderful tone and style in your writing. Here to cheer you on!

[Seabright]

Sovalis, you wild thing, you!

 

I thought I felt someone's eyes upon me. Thanks so much for the good vibes!

[Seabright]

Fri, May 19

 

Who knows where the time goes?

Who kno-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohz where the ti-eye-eye-eyem goes?

 

Self-Care

• Did a couple of mid-day and post-work walks.
• Did standing for a few mins, along with gentle chi kungedness.
• Learned a new form and bought a fan to practice with.
• Showed up for my dermo appt and had a few things sliced off.
• Made an annual lady-parts appointment...for July. Hey, at least I got it on the calendar.
• Decided to take next Thurs & Fri off.
• Booked a little sunset sail for next weekend.
• Am definitely not back on track with the eating.  Cookies for dinner last night at the office before heading up to the Big City.
• Still too much coffee but less than last week.
• Next week will focus on getting my food-like act together while back in the office.

Caring about stuff

• Big week for caring about stuff!
• Spiraled a bit and had a sleepless night overly caring. But only ONE, so that's a win! Yay for me!
• Got ahold of myself by the end of the week.

Remodel

• Oy.
• Tiling tiling tiling slow tiling questions about tiling more slow tiling tile guy was sick and then had questions and for the love of Bobby Berk when will that bathroom tiling ever be done? 
• Absolutely nothing else happening. Just bathroom tile.
• Still to tile: The Kitchen.
• Something we wanted to do ended up costing roughly twice what we estimated.
• Took baby Dolly to the vet for a check-up. All is well and the vet felt we were doing the right thing by just keeping her in my office.
• Hanging tough. 

Other stuff

• The spousal unit just found a BUNCH of baby rats coming out of a hole near my office. 
• Ye gods.

Next week

• Food strategy for the office:
  • Omelet & bacon from the cafeteria okay for breakfast.
  • Bring applesauce for snacks.
  • Hit that mind-blowing salad bar at lunchtime. Yeah, the one I've been ignoring in favor of the grill.
  • Bring my own semi-healthy frozen meal for dinner.
  • Bring one and only one Larabar for the drive home after class.

 

Okie dokie, fellow Rebels!  Keep your chin up and let's stay strong and true!

[Seabright]

Wait. What? I haven't updated my log since the middle of May?

 

That's kah-razy!

 

Well! Time to fix that, I tell you what.

 

Fri, July 7

 

Back in the house! We're back in the house, I tell you! Back. In. The. House.

 

Self-Care

• Did I mention that we're back in the house? Yep. Fact. Spent all July 4 cleaning and dusting and unpacking and what-not. 
• The mental relief is yuuuuuge.
• Back doing standing meditation and eight pieces of brocade in the mornings, but now I have a new kitchen to do them in.
• Started cooking again, as of the day before yesterday.
• Stocked the refrigerator.
• Thinking about taking 3 weeks off of work, for a nice long break.
• The Man wants us to come back into the office twice a week. Am thinking about adding another Tai Chi class up in the Big City since I'll be half-way there anyway. That will take the sting out of driving over the mountains again.
• Hey! I got my first school fringe on my sash! That felt really good. 

Stop caring about stuff

• Without the weekly check-ins to stop caring about stuff, I realize that I've been caring about too much stuff. 
• Boy. Caring about stuff just isn't good. That is all. 
• I'm changing the heading of this section from 'Caring about stuff' to 'Stop caring about stuff.'

Remodel

• Did I mention that we're back in the house?
• Still a few things to be completed, but we can use the kitchen and bathroom and boy, are we using them.
• Doors being refinished today.
• Bathroom cabinet still be completed.
• Some other doors and trims and shelves and such to go, here and there.
• It really does look wonderful.
• The bathroom is adorable.

Other stuff

• Little kitty-kins is settling back in, although she has played it safe by staying under the bed in her plush kitty cave for most of the day.
• She just found out this morning that the kitchen is a LOT more echoey than before. A demanding meow really has some power now.
• No problems around her new feeding station.
• Now I need to get back into the routine of regular grocery runs, so we always have healthy food in the house.
• Gettin' there.

Next week

• Double-down on that office food strategy. I'm part way there with breakfast, but everything else is pretty tragic still. 
• Try Tai Chi on Tuesday and see what that's like. 
• Mid-year assessment on all the things.

 

Onward!

[Seabright]

Fri, Sept 8

 

Did I say I would update things once a week? I didn't say, like, every other month or so? Hmmm.

 

Anyhoo, update time!

 

Self-Care

• I feel like I'm doing well overall. I'd like to do better with food and such, but overall, not bad.
• I've made--and gone to--a bunch of health appointments. Points for making the appointment, double points for showing up!
• Still on track with the little white sugar pills. Had an interesting episode where my quack doc tried another remedy and it triggered memories of absolutely every single stupid and regrettable thing I've ever done in my whole life. Also, my back started going out every single morning. Also, I would randomly cry when I walked into REI. So. Back to the previous remedy, lickety-split. 
• Still dealing with the cough, but now it is definitely tied to certain foods. Getting on that.
• Started going up to the Big City for Tai Chi twice a week. Having fun and learning lots. Plus, I like the sense of community that taking class in a martial arts center gives me. I'm going to go to a little baby tournament at the end of September, too. 
• Standing meditation in the mornings for around 25 mins or so. 

Stop caring about stuff

• I may have taken 'stop caring about stuff' to an unfortunate level at work. Turns out, I now care about hardly anything there, including showing up and getting any work done. Oops. 
• I care far less about random traffic problems, niggles, and nits, and I really notice that. 
• Definitely feeling the flow. 

Remodel

• Everything from the remodel has finally been put away or hauled away.
• Thinking about a bathroom-warming party.

Other stuff

• New kitten! Henry! Our little baby tabby boy!
• Our beautiful girl Dolly is still growling at him and chasing him around the house, but I think she may have decided to let him live. 
• Here is the spousal unit and Henry, just enjoying the morning.
  
  

 

Next week

• Ask if I can attend the advanced class on Mondays
• Assess 3/4-year progress (since I missed mid-year)
• Do at least one form per day

 

Onward!

[Seabright]

Mon, Sept 18

 

Sort of a rough-ish week last week, work-wise. I'm definitely being challenged to not care.

 

Self-Care

• Standing meditation is off and on, but I'm averaging around 25 mins or so. 
• Took a nice solo hike in Henry Cowell. I couldn't get far (humbling), but it was nice to be in the woods on my lonesome (freeing). 
• Finally made an appointment with a new chiropractor to investigate something funky going on with my mid-back. Big win! Normally I would just wait another 6 months for the issue to just magically go away. Now, to show up!
• Icing trigger thumb nightly. Bought a brace to wear, too. Have stayed away from weeding and anything else that will make it worse.
• Entered a little tournament at the end of the month. Going back and forth on this...am I too new? Too old? Too out of it? Too forward? Will I get there and feel stupid because I don't know what to do? Will I get there and feel stupid because I'm way out of my league/ way older than everyone else / way stiffer than everyone else / way more unbalanced than everyone else?  Will I feel 'othered'? Will this be fun and make me feel good and part of a community, or will I feel like I'm a third wheel who shoved her away into a party where she doesn't belong? 
• All of the above makes me feel like cutting back on coffee is impacting my mental health. 
• I could really use a Diet Coke right now. I haven't had one in weeks.

Stop caring about stuff

• An org change had the unfortunate (and predictable) result of disempowering me and my colleagues. 
• This morning I crafted a rebuttable to a decision to exclude us from a key leadership offsite. I spent a couple of hours on it, and finally chucked it over to chatGPT to make it sound 'professional and dispassionate.' 
• My finger hovered over Send again and again. Why did I care about this? How much should I care? I finally Zoomed with a colleague to get their perspective on the situation. 
• They told me they felt the same way--they were irked by the situation, but had to admit they were at the point where they didn't care. All they wanted was to be left alone to take care of their team and have some energy left at the end of the day for friends and family.
• I didn't send. 
• I think I still care, but I didn't send. Why pick a fight with a VP? It's a bummer. But I'll focus on taking care of my team and having enough energy left at the end of the day for Tai Chi, my family, my new kitten, hiking, and spending time with friends. 
• Burn it all down.

Remodel

• Finally got the last little drawer in place.
• Paid the final invoice.
• Meeting with the contractor tomorrow to do a final walk-through.

Other stuff

• We found out our beautiful older girl kitty has lymphoma. It's at the beginning stages, so we're treating it with diet and B12 shots as a way to help her with energy and just feeling lousy.
• Seems to be working! She definitely has her purr back.
• She's our little baby. We'll make her comfortable and keep her happy for as long as we can. 

Next week (which is really THIS week , since it's Monday)

• Walk at least a little bit every day.
• Get my act together at work and find a way to get my mojo back.
• Find time to craft my life vision for myself, to include work-as-a-way-to-support-my-vision, as opposed to work-as-my-vision.

 

Just re-read this whole thing and it sounds like I'm a little down right now. And I guess I am. I blame society.

 

Anyhoo, just talking about it here helps a bit. I am a trained professional and this does not phase me.

 

Onward!

[Sovalis]

Society is worthy of the blame, I am sorry that work is not treating you kindly. I hope that other things buoy you up. It's good to see you update. 

[Seabright]

Fri, Oct 28

 

Oh, hello there. Yah, it's me again. Kickin' it and killin' it, oh yes indeedy!

 

Self-Care

• Standing meditation is back on as a thing! Working my way back up to the over-20-min mark. I'd love to be at 30 mins per day by the end of the year.
• The non-force chiropracter appt was freakin' AWESOME! I've been back a couple of times and feel SO much better! Yay! So glad I used 20 seconds of courage and made that first appointment.
• Trigger thumb thingie much better. Ended up getting another brace, so now I have one for the car and one to wear at night. Also, I've been off coffee since Oct 1--and I think that's helped. Coming along!
• Some nice hikes in the redwoods with more on the way.
• People over for dinner now and then.
• Have been going to Tai Chi up in the big city twice a week and I'm loving it.
• I entered the beginner division at that tournament in September and ended up with a gold medal. (She said humbly.) That felt nice! And I did feel a little weird and awkward there, but I decided to just get over myself. Had a couple of nice conversations with my competitors, too, aka People I Didn't Already Know.

Stop caring about stuff

• Found one thing to care about at work! That isn't org-related! And has some kind of meaning that might actually help people! And makes me look busy!
• Look at me, effecting change!
• Finding that one thing really helps with not-caring about other things. 

Remodel

• Done.
• Finito.
• Over with.
• The only thing left are Yelp updates. 😉
• Taking this off the list next update. 
• Wow, what a journey!

Other stuff

• Henry the kitten is a monster and attacks anything that moves.
• Older kitty Dolly has decided to let him live.
• After a bunch of chasing and hissing this morning, they settled down NEAR EACH OTHER in front of the fireplace!
• The peaceable kingdom.

Next up

• Keep up with the walks in the woods.
• See if I'm ready to take the next test. That orange fringe is just teasing me now.
• Plan that trip to Vermont next fall and just do it.

 

Mojo now back! Yes!

 

Onward!