[Silmarilliane]

2 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Going to take it super easy

 

This seems fair. Sorry you had a rough time though glad the game night went well

[Snarkyfishguts]

I get that way after a couple drinks too. You handled it well by being kind and easy to yourself. 💚
 

Game night sounds like fun!  I’m sorry about Dave’s card, hopefully that gets fixed up for him quickly. 

[Salinger]

Hey Sov, glad you taking it easy ❤️ xx

[Harriet]

I hope your easy day was nice and refreshing

[Sovalis]

Hi Friends,

 

Yesterday was rough and today was honestly really rotten. But I think things are turning around now, thankfully. I am going to have to watch my mood the next few days and see if this downer keeps going or if it turns around, because this is really unusual for me and might need a med intervention. 

 

I did not walk yesterday and haven’t made an effort at it today although I did go out and run some errands after going to the dentist this morning. Sax pooped in the house (again!) today which makes the third time in a week and I just don’t understand what is up with him. Pretty frustrated. I am burnt out on Dave being gone and we still have a month to go. Wheeeeeee.

 

In an effort to try to pull my brain out of the spiral I went shopping for clothes which is normally a *terrible* idea. But I found two sweaters that I really love and a bunch of tshirts for Dave and that worked out. I went right back into the spiral as soon as I was back in the car, but the reprieve was valuable. 

 

It’s taken work to eat and hydrate today, but I managed. I credit this to my friends who checked in on me and helped me be accountable. I am so grateful to be loved by such amazing people. I am at work now, functional even, and I don’t think anyone here has any idea that today was such a disaster. Which is all to the good. 

 

Hopefully I will have a better report tomorrow. I need to get up in the morning and make soup so I have lunches for this week, having purchased the butternut squash today. 

 

Thank you for being here. It means so much. ❤️ 

[MaeradCase]

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

It’s taken work to eat and hydrate today, but I managed. I credit this to my friends who checked in on me and helped me be accountable. I am so grateful to be loved by such amazing people.

I'm so glad you have supportive friends to step in and help you out. They're irreplaceable.

 

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

Thank you for being here. It means so much. ❤️ 

I hope that you find peace to carry you through the turmoil. Thanks for letting us know how your day went. 💛

[Salinger]

Hey Sov 

 

so sorry it’s so difficult right now  wish I could do more!!

 

ypu are doing great, and I’m so glad you have supportive irl friends.

 

we love you xx

[Harriet]

9 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Hi Friends,

 

Yesterday was rough and today was honestly really rotten. But I think things are turning around now, thankfully. I am going to have to watch my mood the next few days and see if this downer keeps going or if it turns around, because this is really unusual for me and might need a med intervention. 

 

So sorry about the rough days. I hope you'll be feeling better soon.

 

9 hours ago, Sovalis said:

 

Sax pooped in the house (again!) today which makes the third time in a week and I just don’t understand what is up with him. Pretty frustrated. I am burnt out on Dave being gone and we still have a month to go. Wheeeeeee.

 

Is Sax upset that Dave is gone? I ask because my cat seems to have developed some anxiety and severe clinginess after her sister died. She also started peeing outside the litter box.

 

[Rookie]

Hey Sov<3 

 

Sorry you are having a rough go at it. You are fantastic. You are loved. You are a bright light. 

 

Poor Sax baby. Could you start treating him as a puppy and start doing his crate training over if you do crate training? I don't know, that is probably what I would do aside from taking him to the vet to make sure everything is okay. 

[Everstorm]

Sorry you had such a rough day.  Sounds like you are making the right choices, though, to focus on what you can (like food and hydration) and letting go of what you can't. 

[Salinger]

HEY

 Sov

 

Sending love and want you to know i/we are here for you xx

[Sovalis]

15 hours ago, MaeradCase said:

I'm so glad you have supportive friends to step in and help you out. They're irreplaceable.

 

I hope that you find peace to carry you through the turmoil. Thanks for letting us know how your day went. 💛

Thanks, Maerad. I appreciate you. ❤️ 

 

14 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Sov 

 

so sorry it’s so difficult right now  wish I could do more!!

 

ypu are doing great, and I’m so glad you have supportive irl friends.

 

we love you xx

Hi Sal. Thanks for your love. ❤️ 

 

7 hours ago, Harriet said:

So sorry about the rough days. I hope you'll be feeling better soon.

 

Is Sax upset that Dave is gone? I ask because my cat seems to have developed some anxiety and severe clinginess after her sister died. She also started peeing outside the litter box.

Hi Harriet. Thank you. ❤️ I don’t think Sax is upset about Dave, that would be highly unusual and his behaviour seems very normal otherwise. I’m not sure what his deal is. He was playing with Swift (his stuffed fox) a bit more the past few days which might be a comfort thing?  I am unclear about why he plays with that toy, although he stole it from me (I used to sleep with it) so I assume it’s a comfort thing. So maybe he is lonely or mad at me for going to work? 

 

5 hours ago, Rookie said:

Hey Sov<3 

 

Sorry you are having a rough go at it. You are fantastic. You are loved. You are a bright light. 

 

Poor Sax baby. Could you start treating him as a puppy and start doing his crate training over if you do crate training? I don't know, that is probably what I would do aside from taking him to the vet to make sure everything is okay. 

Thanks, Rookie. I appreciate your words. ❤️ I don’t have a crate for him although I am wondering about investing in one now and getting him used to it well in advance of us possibly having to go to Latvia. The lady we got him from said he was crate trained when we got him but his reactions to being kennelled made me think that was a lie. We have never felt the need to crate him because I was home with him for the first three years that we had him. Now I feel like trying to train might be really difficult because of his age and stuff. He’s definitely used to having the run of the house.  

 

3 hours ago, Everstorm said:

Sorry you had such a rough day.  Sounds like you are making the right choices, though, to focus on what you can (like food and hydration) and letting go of what you can't. 

Thanks, Ever. ❤️ I am trying.

 

2 hours ago, Salinger said:

HEY

 Sov

 

Sending love and want you to know i/we are here for you xx

Thanks Sal. It made me smile to see this message when I logged in. ❤️

 

Hi Friends,

 

I don’t think I am out of the woods just yet but today is so far so much better than yesterday. I was not able to bring myself to get up at 7 this morning so let myself rest until 8. I didn’t get to bed until after 11 last night which is really late for me, even on a night where I have to work until 10. The guys didn’t finish their game until 10:20 and then I had to close so I wasn’t home until ~10:35. Then a little bit to unwind, then sleep. Some weird dreams again and it took me forever to warm up enough to sleep, but I think it was okay. My Fitbit says it was fine, anyway. I think tonight I am going to warm up my magic bag if I have any suspicion that I will be too cold to sleep and let that little bit of comfort assist me in dropping off. 

 

Because I didn’t get up at 7 I didn’t give myself enough time to make soup this morning. While this is a bit of a bummer, I am fine with how slow my morning was. I ended up buying myself soup and a sandwich from Jack’s for lunch and ate a protein bar for breakfast. I will make soup after work tonight so that I am set up for the rest of the week. I think that I will always buy my groceries on Saturday going forward so that I can cook on Sunday no matter what. I pushed it to Tuesday last week so it would line up with payday and not have to go on my credit card, but that just doesn’t work with the rhythm of my week. And then with Dave’s card being compromised my groceries needed to go on my card anyway, so it was all the same in the end. 

 

A Sal-style list of my to-do’s for the day:

-Go to the bank and do my deposit

-Check the shop mail

-Pack up the card estimate to be shipped tomorrow

-Put a bag back in the garbage bin

-Bring the curb bin back into the garage

-Make soup

-Wash the hard dishes

-Hang out with Lisa

 

I thought for a few minutes that tonight’s full moon was also Waking the Bear, but that is the Equinox which isn’t for a few weeks yet. I was momentarily stressed that I wasn’t in the headspace to celebrate and didn’t have what I wanted to do that, but I have a few weeks to get sorted out yet. Whew. 

 

I am going to dig into some game prep now, I think. I will keep touching base here to offer support on other threads as I can. I am so grateful for each of you, I feel like I can’t express it properly. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

[MaeradCase]

7 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Thanks, Maerad. I appreciate you. ❤️ 

❤

7 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I don’t think I am out of the woods just yet but today is so far so much better than yesterday.

Glad it's improving. 😃

7 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I think that I will always buy my groceries on Saturday going forward so that I can cook on Sunday no matter what. I pushed it to Tuesday last week so it would line up with payday and not have to go on my credit card, but that just doesn’t work with the rhythm of my week.

Sounds like a solid plan.

7 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I am going to dig into some game prep now, I think. I will keep touching base here to offer support on other threads as I can. I am so grateful for each of you, I feel like I can’t express it properly. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

❤ Have fun prepping! And have a lovely day!

[Rookie]

49 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Thanks, Rookie. I appreciate your words. ❤️ I don’t have a crate for him although I am wondering about investing in one now and getting him used to it well in advance of us possibly having to go to Latvia. The lady we got him from said he was crate trained when we got him but his reactions to being kennelled made me think that was a lie. We have never felt the need to crate him because I was home with him for the first three years that we had him. Now I feel like trying to train might be really difficult because of his age and stuff. He’s definitely used to having the run of the house.  

I think it's a good idea to start now while you have the time. I'm not sure how it will go with him being older but it's worth a shot. You could even just feed him or give him chews in the crate for now and make it super extra cozy and put his toys in there to help encourage him going in on his own. Or scatter some kibble in the bottom in blankets so he can scrounge. 

[Rhovaniel]

17 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Sax pooped in the house (again!) today which makes the third time in a week and I just don’t understand what is up with him

Just a thought, but he might be picking up on your emotional state. If you are low and stressed or tense, he's probably picking up on that, and making him tense too. 

 

 

I'm so glad today is going better. May it continue that way!

[Salinger]

Hey Sov, how was your evening? 

 

Hoping you are feeling a little better today, and that Sax is alright xx

[Gemma]

Hi, Sovalis! Are you feeling better? Like @Everstorm, my husband is retired from the military now but I remember how rough the up and down and going and coming of his deployment cycle was. (I was out of the military before we married, so he never had to deal with it.) It sucks. 

 

17 hours ago, Rookie said:

I think it's a good idea to start now while you have the time. I'm not sure how it will go with him being older but it's worth a shot. You could even just feed him or give him chews in the crate for now and make it super extra cozy and put his toys in there to help encourage him going in on his own. Or scatter some kibble in the bottom in blankets so he can scrounge. 

 

I had to do this with two older Shepherds when we moved. Rookie is onto something here ^ I suggest getting a crate as soon as you can, putting a comfy pillow and Swift in there, and just leaving it open for a while to see if he goes in on his own. If he does and you see it, praise him and maybe give a treat or other reward. Even if all he does is poke his head in to get his fox and come back out, he's being a Good Good Boy! 

 

Most dogs respond well to crate training as long as they are never forced in (at least while they are getting used to it) and the crate is allowed to become a safe comfy napping/chillout spot.

 

[Sovalis]

Hi Friends!

 

Today is gently better than yesterday despite a trip to the dentist this morning. I got everything on my Sal-style list done yesterday except packing up the cards which I need to do still. Then I went out for supper last night with my god daughter and her dad before going home and making soup. I made the Zuppa Toscana again, but I used 1/3 chorizo sausage this time and kept the butternut squash instead of the potatoes. The soup is much darker with the chorizo in there. Hopefully it’s good. I haven’t had my bowl yet for today, was waiting for my mouth to unfreeze. 

 

The dentist and his assistant were amazing. I have pretty serious anxiety about dental work and I am *very* difficult to freeze. This is a crummy combination. But they were super, constantly checking in on me, adding more freezing when it was clear that we didn’t have enough (Four times. 😬), being very patient with my leaky tears. I am grateful for their care and compassion. It was my first time working with either of them and I am wiling to do more work with them in the future, which is good because there is a lot of work to do. 

 

I’ve been doing some Worldbuilding about Orc culture with Bryon via text today and that is helping the day pass more quickly. I forgot to put my FitBit on this morning so I will not have all of my steps registered for today, but I should be able to go home, put it on, and then go for some treadmill time. It’s supposed to be Paint Night tonight but I don’t think I am getting any takers, so that might be my evening plan. 

 

I bought a new sweater the other day and it is a lovely vermillion/burnt red colour that reminds me of Carnelian. I find it really interesting how the colour of clothing is such a comfort to me the last little while. That is unusual for me. But I deliberately wore my Citrine sweater today so that I could have that colour to bolster me while I dealt with the dentist. This is new. I usually just wear black. Something to keep thinking about. 

 

I hope that you are all having lovely days. Thank you for being here. ❤️ 

[Silmarilliane]

1 hour ago, Sovalis said:

colour of clothing is such a comfort to me

 

I love wearing a mix of colours (I've been called a magpie for patterns ) and sometimes I definitely choose things to match my mood or to cheer me up. I used to wear a lot of black tops when I was a teen/early 20s because it doesn't show sweat marks so much but now I wear some quite ridiculous colours!

[TimovieMan]

10 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

(I've been called a magpie for patterns )

 

Excellent! The Eurasian magpie is my favourite bird, precisely because of the colour pattern (and that blue streak). 😍

[Harriet]

The colour of chorizo and a warm/desturated red sweater... It's a sign! Clearly representing energy and warmth. Maybe. Possibly.

 

 

I hope the days continue getting better.

[Snarkyfishguts]

I love colors as well. It's very cheering to wear more color. Black is very functional and elegant, but sometimes you need color! 

[Sovalis]

 

22 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

I love wearing a mix of colours (I've been called a magpie for patterns ) and sometimes I definitely choose things to match my mood or to cheer me up. I used to wear a lot of black tops when I was a teen/early 20s because it doesn't show sweat marks so much but now I wear some quite ridiculous colours!

I really admire that in others. I hope to slowly work myself up to that level of cheerful abandon. 

 

11 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

Excellent! The Eurasian magpie is my favourite bird, precisely because of the colour pattern (and that blue streak). 😍

Right?? So beautiful. 

 

8 hours ago, Harriet said:

The colour of chorizo and a warm/desturated red sweater... It's a sign! Clearly representing energy and warmth. Maybe. Possibly.

 

I hope the days continue getting better.

Thanks, Harriet. I agree, it is clearly a sign.  

 

7 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I love colors as well. It's very cheering to wear more color. Black is very functional and elegant, but sometimes you need color! 

I am finding this. It is new to me. Thanks, Snarky.

 

Hi Friends!

 

I did not walk last night. I went home, had supper, did some Worldbuilding, and went to bed quite early. My mouth is still tender from the work yesterday so I have been eating soft things and trying to chew on the other side as much as I can. This might take another few days to get comfortable. I finally tried the soup for this week and it is quite good, but last week’s soup was better. I just realized that I forgot to put the white wine vinegar in and it’s interesting to see how much of a difference omitting that and subbing in 1/3 chorizo makes to the flavour. I think I will return to the regular hot sausage next time I make it, but it’s not going to hurt my feelings to eat the rest of the batch. 

 

I was an obsessive bird this morning and stepped on the scale. I will forever think of myself as a bird when I weigh in now thanks to SarahKingdom’s example from a while ago. It really helps me not take the numbers so seriously and to stay cognizant of the compulsive aspect of the behaviour. I weighed in at 291 which is a number I am happy to see. I need to do my measurements again, I had intended to do them on the 5th and then things went sideways. It’s small little steps down, but I will take it. I think the lower carb eating is making a difference. I have had a few deviations but I am sticking with it better than I thought I might, to be honest. What I am not doing a great job of is tracking my intake or prioritizing my fibre. I need to get back on my game for those things. I am also four days without a walk, which needs to change tonight. I am not pleased that the stretch of unchecked boxes on my tracker has gotten so long. I understand that walking wasn’t a priority the last few days and I am okay with that. But I am feeling pretty good today, jaw not withstanding, so I think I can get it done. 

 

I ordered myself a kit to make a deerskin hand drum yesterday. I am hoping it will get here before Equinox as it would make me really happy to be able to make or play my own drum for Waking the Bear. I could have bought a synthetic one for cheaper, but it didn’t feel like the right option, so I looked around online and found a  First Nation’s webstore that specializes in drums, drum kits, pow wow regalia, furs, smudge kits, and other things. I feel like finding them is very good for me as I haven’t known where to source what I have wanted in a way that makes sure the materials gathered are harvested respectfully or sustainably. I would much rather my money be going to First Nation’s individuals for these things if it can. Hopefully making the drum is as straightforward as it looks in their YouTube videos; they certainly pride themselves on it being something a beginner can do in their materials. 

 

I am also buying two sets of dice via private sale. They are both out of print and therefore hard to find. The seller is raising money to pay a copay (? This is an American Healthcare thing and I don’t quite know what it means). I feel bad that she is needing to sell off some of her dice to make things work for her financially and I am glad that I can help a little and get some lovely sets at the same time. And then my Tarot this morning told me to stop spending money and it made me laugh. I know I’ve spent more than usual lately with the sweaters and such. I will tone it down. I got my tax refund this morning as well so that will pay for the dice and then the balance will go against my outstanding credit card amount and take a nice chunk out of it. 

 

There is a rumour going around that Dave will be getting a very significant pay raise this summer as part of the CAF trying to make their salaries more appealing to aid in retention and incentivize new recruits. If it comes through, and it looks like it will, it’s the equivalent of an extra one my my paycheques a month. This would be such a lovely thing as it would let us kill off the credit card so much faster and handle summer projects like replacing the north fence and the short gate with less stress. I am trying to not count my chickens before they hatch, but oh boy, that would make such a difference for us. It would also set me up to tackle the mountain of dental work that I need that I have been putting off. 

 

So many things to think about, but I feel like I am in a good place to do all the thinking now, which is great after the low of the last few days. I don’t feel quite myself yet, but I am ~85% and steadily better as time goes on. I’m grateful that things seem to be coming around and that I didn’t need to adjust my meds. 

 

Thanks for being here. I am grateful for you. ❤️ 

[Kishi]

5 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I am also buying two sets of dice via private sale. They are both out of print and therefore hard to find. The seller is raising money to pay a copay (? This is an American Healthcare thing and I don’t quite know what it means).

 

Basically, if insurance covers something like a doctor's appointment or lab work or whatever, the patient is still on the hook to pay some money for it. The money that they pay alongside the insurance company is the copay.

 

Sounds like their policy isn't very helpful. Good of you to help out. ❤️

 

Also, excited to hear that y'all might be getting a raise! 🤞

[Salinger]

Hey morning Sov!

 

GREAT news about Daves pay.... ill cross my fingers for you both. 

 

Please show us the dice when they arrive

 

Hoping you continue to feel better. How is Sax? xx