[Harriet]

13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

As I was making soup last night Ken *finally* messaged me. Usual “sorry, I’ve been super busy but I am working on everything you have asked me” followed by “Do we have cash at the store? I know sales have been low but you are still seeing $300-$500 a week.” Those are his exact words. 

 

Friends. I don’t think he’s solvent enough to pay me back. What a scary thing. 😳

 

I told him that I had less than $300 in the till (my float is generally $200) and asked him if he wanted me to let the cash build up and draw it off as a TOS expense. He hasn’t responded. 

So I guess my plan is going forward until he tells me otherwise. I would like firm confirmation that my plan is okay (Snarky, you are not wrong about needing everything documented; I guess luckily he never answers his phone and only communicates via text so I have records of everything). I don’t get the feeling he is looking to fire me, for whatever a blessing that is. But I am seriously concerned that he is going to fold at some point. Job search intensifies and I am crossing my fingers that I get some cash sales over the next while.

 

Alas, it does sound  like he's in financial trouble. I hope you can get your cash and that he doesn't do any more payment delay dramas.

[Rhovaniel]

Oof. Glad Ken text you back, but that's rough about the lack of job security. Fingers crossed you do find something soon, that works for you 

[Salinger]

So sorry Sov, must be so stressful x

[Silmarilliane]

Good for you saying you're uncomfortable with it, I hope there's a way of getting it back, either in chunks or letting it build up. Are you still thinking about leaving?

[Gemma]

Just got caught up, wanted to say:

 

Ken ... ugh! also grrrrrr!  🤯

Rocks - fabulous! 🤩

Solo/duet gaming - sounds great and now I want to try it 😄

Looking for remote work - Luck and success to you! 🍀

[Sovalis]

21 hours ago, Ranger Hal said:

Well, they are beautiful! I have an unpolished clear/white crystal that's maybe half the length of the red one. It was a gift from a very grateful, slightly drunk, lost crystal hunter I helped find. The slightly drunk part may have partially contributed to the lost part. It may have also contributed to insisting that we each choose a crystal from the stash they had found. Anyway, my crystal isn't as pretty as yours, but it comes with a fun story!

That is a great story! I am sure they were so grateful for your help. Getting lost is scary, and I imagine being drunk would not make that any easier. 

 

10 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Alas, it does sound  like he's in financial trouble. I hope you can get your cash and that he doesn't do any more payment delay dramas.

Right? I hope so too. It seems like he’s maybe being more responsible than I can see from some further texts, but time will tell. More below. 

 

8 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Oof. Glad Ken text you back, but that's rough about the lack of job security. Fingers crossed you do find something soon, that works for you 

Thanks, Rhovaniel. It’s not ideal but I am doing the best I can. 

 

7 hours ago, Salinger said:

So sorry Sov, must be so stressful x

Thanks, Sal. Surprisingly not too stressful but quite annoying. I think knowing Dave has this raise coming is doing a lot for my sense of peace; if this job disappears we are okay financially. It means paying off our debt much more slowly and having to really negotiate the building projects we need to tackle this summer, but we won’t be desperate. Uncomfortable, but not unbearable. 

 

2 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

Good for you saying you're uncomfortable with it, I hope there's a way of getting it back, either in chunks or letting it build up. Are you still thinking about leaving?

I am definitely thinking about it, but I am very hesitant to jump ship before I have something better lined up. And getting work in my town is very, very difficult. One of the banks is hiring for a teller, but it’s part time and I need more hours than that. So I will keep looking. Mistr reminded me of remote work and that is an option. I worry that it will set back Sax’s possessive behaviour if I start working from home again, but we will cross that bridge if we come to it. 

 

1 hour ago, Gemma said:

Just got caught up, wanted to say:

 

Ken ... ugh! also grrrrrr!  🤯

Rocks - fabulous! 🤩

Solo/duet gaming - sounds great and now I want to try it 😄

Looking for remote work - Luck and success to you! 🍀

Thanks, Gemma. You should totally try a solo or duet game. They are a blast. 

 

Hi Friends!

 

I have such a fun update today! Last night was just so good. I was working away yesterday when someone came in so I went to the front. It was my friend Raven! They had driven 200 km (one way) to surprise me with pie because I wouldn’t be able to come to their place for Pi Day celebrations on Friday. And the pie they brought me was a keto bacon spinach quiche delight, which made me feel extra special loved. We chatted and hung out for a little bit and then they revealed that they didn’t have to head back home immediately and were wondering if I would mind them joining me for mini painting that evening! I was so happy that they could stay (we don’t often get to hang out alone; they have adult dependant children with Autism and so frequently their visits include their kids. I don’t mind that, but it makes it harder to dig into a visit as we are constantly keeping eyes on the kids). So I invited them for supper and we had pierogi and sausage and salad. I was worried that it wasn’t a good enough offering, but Raven actually loved it because one of their kids is gluten free so they hadn’t had pierogi for about three years. I felt good about being able to offer something that was desirable and also low effort for last minute entertaining. So we had supper and then Raven surprised me again by going out to the van and bringing back three more pies so we could have dessert. I had a piece of the most amazing salted caramel chocolate pie and a piece of apple pie. I didn’t try the sweet potato pie because I was full. Martin came over at this point and joined us for pie. He and Raven are the same age (early 50s) and got along really well, which was super nice. 

 

After pie we went into the basement and painted minis! I didn’t take any pictures but I should have. I worked on the War Tortoise again, painting up his spikes and claws. Martin worked on his purple worm. And Raven painted guards. Sax was a bit of a pest (Raven is allergic and Sax just didn’t get that he needed to leave them alone) but eventually settled down. We painted until ~9 and then wrapped up so Raven could get home before midnight. It was just so good! We laughed and talked about D&D a bunch and just hung out. I am such a fan. I really appreciate it when people make the effort to come and see me because it is usually me coming to see them and that hasn’t been happening much since I started this job. Ah! My heart is so happy. 

 

Less fun:

Ken update: He texted me yesterday to ask me to send another box that was delivered to my store yesterday and to tell me that he is working on getting me paid back for the shipping. He says he is out of EMTs for the shop right now and that he tried to add the first shipping charge to my pay but the system would mess up if he did that. Considering that my pay has only really started being regular again I am glad that he didn’t mess with it. I asked him if he can go to the bank and just do a straight deposit and he said he would try that if he can’t get the direct deposit to work. But no firm answer on when that is going to be determined. I did get paid today, which is on time, and I am happy about that. Hopefully we can get this resolved soon. I did send the second box ($125 charge) and sent him a photo of the receipt. I then asked if it were possible to get a store debit or credit card for store related charges because I was not comfortable using my card for such things. He hasn’t said anything yet, but hopefully he considers it. I debated saying no to the second box but really felt stuck about it. He said it was time sensitive and that he needed it before the weekend (it was product, they might be running an event?) so I gave in, but ugh. I don’t like conflict and I hate conducting these kinds of conversations over text. There is just too much room to read into things and he’s not a direct communicator at the best of times. It’s all gross. 

 

This morning I took it really easy with coffee and Tarot, and then I got Dave to call me for a bit so I could see his face and that was nice. It’s been a few days since I’ve heard from him and I probably will stop hearing from him with any regularity on Monday because they will be in the box until the beginning of April. So a little face time was good. Then I ate breakfast, packed my lunch, got ready for work, played with Sax, and headed off. I was a little later leaving the house than usual today but still got to the store on time, just not early. That was okay. I don’t mind that. 

 

As I was composing this Ken texted again. He didn’t answer my question about the debit/credit card but said this was an anomaly and shouldn’t happen again. Then he said the only reason it happened this way was because I didn’t want to move 100 lbs worth of boxes. I looked back at the texts and I didn’t say I wouldn’t move them, but I didn’t say I would either. It literally didn’t come up. so I guess interpretation rules there. And I interpreted that he didn’t want the chaos of prepping shipping labels/the delay of needing to send me labels based on what he did say although he didn’t expressly say he wouldn’t do it, so I guess we have a lot of assumptions going on. Either way, I feel like he is blaming the victim a bit here and I am vexed. And that was only for the first shipment, he is conveniently ignoring that he asked me to do it again with the product box yesterday. Ugh, gross. Can we just quit with all of this now? 

 

I am going to think about my awesome friends painting with me last night and try to ignore how annoying my boss is. I hope you are all having better luck with any higher powers than I am and that your communication lines are super clear and unambiguous today. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

[MaeradCase]

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Last night was just so good. I was working away yesterday when someone came in so I went to the front. It was my friend Raven! They had driven 200 km (one way) to surprise me with pie because I wouldn’t be able to come to their place for Pi Day celebrations on Friday. And the pie they brought me was a keto bacon spinach quiche delight, which made me feel extra special loved.

That's so sweet! ❤

 

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

We chatted and hung out for a little bit and then they revealed that they didn’t have to head back home immediately and were wondering if I would mind them joining me for mini painting that evening! I was so happy that they could stay (we don’t often get to hang out alone; they have adult dependant children with Autism and so frequently their visits include their kids. I don’t mind that, but it makes it harder to dig into a visit as we are constantly keeping eyes on the kids). So I invited them for supper and we had pierogi and sausage and salad. I was worried that it wasn’t a good enough offering, but Raven actually loved it because one of their kids is gluten free so they hadn’t had pierogi for about three years. I felt good about being able to offer something that was desirable and also low effort for last minute entertaining. So we had supper and then Raven surprised me again by going out to the van and bringing back three more pies so we could have dessert. I had a piece of the most amazing salted caramel chocolate pie and a piece of apple pie. I didn’t try the sweet potato pie because I was full. Martin came over at this point and joined us for pie. He and Raven are the same age (early 50s) and got along really well, which was super nice. 

Oh my gosh, what a great time! ❤

 

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

After pie we went into the basement and painted minis! I didn’t take any pictures but I should have. I worked on the War Tortoise again, painting up his spikes and claws. Martin worked on his purple worm. And Raven painted guards. Sax was a bit of a pest (Raven is allergic and Sax just didn’t get that he needed to leave them alone) but eventually settled down. We painted until ~9 and then wrapped up so Raven could get home before midnight. It was just so good! We laughed and talked about D&D a bunch and just hung out. I am such a fan. I really appreciate it when people make the effort to come and see me because it is usually me coming to see them and that hasn’t been happening much since I started this job. Ah! My heart is so happy. 

So happy your night went so well. ❤

 

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Less fun:

Ken update: He texted me yesterday to ask me to send another box that was delivered to my store yesterday and to tell me that he is working on getting me paid back for the shipping. He says he is out of EMTs for the shop right now and that he tried to add the first shipping charge to my pay but the system would mess up if he did that. Considering that my pay has only really started being regular again I am glad that he didn’t mess with it. I asked him if he can go to the bank and just do a straight deposit and he said he would try that if he can’t get the direct deposit to work. But no firm answer on when that is going to be determined. I did get paid today, which is on time, and I am happy about that. Hopefully we can get this resolved soon. I did send the second box ($125 charge) and sent him a photo of the receipt. I then asked if it were possible to get a store debit or credit card for store related charges because I was not comfortable using my card for such things. He hasn’t said anything yet, but hopefully he considers it. I debated saying no to the second box but really felt stuck about it. He said it was time sensitive and that he needed it before the weekend (it was product, they might be running an event?) so I gave in, but ugh. I don’t like conflict and I hate conducting these kinds of conversations over text. There is just too much room to read into things and he’s not a direct communicator at the best of times. It’s all gross. 

😥 Hoping he holds his end of paying you back ASAP and not just as soon as convenient to him.

 

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Either way, I feel like he is blaming the victim a bit here and I am vexed. And that was only for the first shipment, he is conveniently ignoring that he asked me to do it again with the product box yesterday. Ugh, gross. Can we just quit with all of this now? 

Agreed - he needs to stop. 😑

 

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

I am going to think about my awesome friends painting with me last night and try to ignore how annoying my boss is. I hope you are all having better luck with any higher powers than I am and that your communication lines are super clear and unambiguous today. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

❤ Glad you had such a good time with friends. Raven is so awesome to make that special trip for you, and it's great they got to stay even longer to spend time together. 🌟

[Rhovaniel]

Aww, I'm super glad you got to spend some quality time with your friend!

 

 

I am mad at Ken on your behalf, though!

[Harriet]

12 hours ago, Sovalis said:

We painted until ~9 and then wrapped up so Raven could get home before midnight. It was just so good! We laughed and talked about D&D a bunch and just hung out. I am such a fan. I really appreciate it when people make the effort to come and see me because it is usually me coming to see them and that hasn’t been happening much since I started this job. Ah! My heart is so happy. 

 

That sounds like a very lovely event! I'm glad you had such a nice time. Painting and pierogis and pie oh my!

 

12 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Less fun:

Ken update: He texted me yesterday to ask me to send another box that was delivered to my store yesterday and to tell me that he is working on getting me paid back for the shipping. He says he is out of EMTs for the shop right now and that he tried to add the first shipping charge to my pay but the system would mess up if he did that. Considering that my pay has only really started being regular again I am glad that he didn’t mess with it. I asked him if he can go to the bank and just do a straight deposit and he said he would try that if he can’t get the direct deposit to work. But no firm answer on when that is going to be determined. I did get paid today, which is on time, and I am happy about that. Hopefully we can get this resolved soon. I did send the second box ($125 charge) and sent him a photo of the receipt. I then asked if it were possible to get a store debit or credit card for store related charges because I was not comfortable using my card for such things. He hasn’t said anything yet, but hopefully he considers it. I debated saying no to the second box but really felt stuck about it. He said it was time sensitive and that he needed it before the weekend (it was product, they might be running an event?) so I gave in, but ugh. I don’t like conflict and I hate conducting these kinds of conversations over text. There is just too much room to read into things and he’s not a direct communicator at the best of times. It’s all gross. 

 

Oh dear. So he doesn't have enough money to meet commitments to other people that he himself has made, he seemingly can't borrow from anyone else (mum? dad? brother? friends? BANK?), and he is using the sense of urgency created by his failings in order to pressure you, his employee, to loan him money, which is completely inappropriate. I fear if you don't establish some boundaries that he will keep asking you because you're a soft target, and eventually when he runs into problems you'll be the last person who gets paid back, because other people will be angrier and more insistent and have more paper proof. If the feeling of conflict is making it hard, it might be good to have a pre-determined phrase to repeat, like "I really can't spend any more of my personal savings on the business."

[TimovieMan]

4 hours ago, Harriet said:

I fear if you don't establish some boundaries that he will keep asking you because you're a soft target, and eventually when he runs into problems you'll be the last person who gets paid back, because other people will be angrier and more insistent and have more paper proof. If the feeling of conflict is making it hard, it might be good to have a pre-determined phrase to repeat, like "I really can't spend any more of my personal savings on the business."

^ This.

 

As long as he hasn't paid you back for the first two shipments, any new requests should be a "no can do" no matter how urgent he claims it is. In fact, "no can do" should now be your default response whenever he asks to use your personal money for the company without a proper personal expenses report to handle the reimbursement, even though you might be uncomfortable saying no...

[Salinger]

Wow, Ken is a total idiot. What a horrid person. 

 

I can not BELIEVE he asked you again and put you in this situation. I feel like you may need to get legal advice if it continues. 

 

Please please be strong and demand the money back Sov. Its not fair. 

 

In other things, youre amazing and we care about you and you are doing so well ❤️ so glad you had such a good time at your pals. 

 

btw did my Christmas card ever arrive? xx

[Everstorm]

Chiming in with everyone that Raven is amazing and your boss is really the worst.

[Silmarilliane]

8 minutes ago, Everstorm said:

Chiming in with everyone that Raven is amazing and your boss is really the worst.

 

Yep, seconding (or whatever number-ing) this!

[Sovalis]

Hi Friends,

 

Thanks for your support and validation. It helps me keep things straight. I feel really gaslit by Ken sometimes and as someone who has back history with that in other contexts it really messes with me. 

 

Ken texted me again last night and said that he has sent payment and two stubs through my regular pay provider. I received one paystub for the $485 amount, but not a second one for the $125 amount yet. And the money hasn’t dropped quite yet, but I should expect it in the next day or two if things go the way it usually does like when I get my pay. I feel worn out with all of this. It could have been sorted so many ways that it wasn’t. And looking back on the texts there hasn’t even been a “hey thanks for sorting all of that out” or “thanks for using your card” or any kind of gratitude at all. I know that I am overly polite even for a Canadian and have tendencies to praise and gratitude to positively reinforce behaviour I want to see. And I know better than to expect others to adhere to my standards. But I am annoyed that there was no thank you. Just seems like a shitty way to manage your staff. I would do things differently. 

 

I will not be doing anything to financially support the store again, even if it causes conflict. It’s just not worth how I’ve been feeling about all of this to be perceived as helpful. I know I have helper damage, but I think this is a lesson put in front of me to help me work on that. Because oy vay. Message received!

 

Because I was mentally worn out yesterday I did not walk or eat supper. I had no desire for food or movement, so I worked on a bit of pantheon building and then watched the live of Critical Role when it came on. I am really perplexed about what is going on and how long the current format will last for. But I am also intrigued, because it’s a bold storytelling decision. I’ll probably put more effort into staying caught up over the next while. 

 

I didn’t go to bed until midnight and woke up at 7:35 so no tick in the box on my tracker for that today. I feel good though, so that works for me. I did coffee and Tarot, got out the door, played with Sax, and then made a detour on my way to work to refill our big water cooler jugs. That didn’t take as long as I was worried it might, and it got my adulting checked off for the day. Win. Now I am at work with my coffee and checking on the forums. I have game tonight and an idea of what I want to do that I will flesh out a bit more. I only have three players tonight, so hopefully it works. I need them to get off the boats and take the bait otherwise it’s not going to come off. 

 

My card today was the Sun reversed, for the second time this week. Apparently I am not playing enough. Hopefully tonight helps with that. I admit I’ve been a bit dour with all this shipping nonsense going on. But tonight will be good. 

 

I hope that you are having a fabulous end to your week and that you get a moment to play today. Thank you so much for being here. ❤️ 

 

 

[Mistr]

Lovely that your friend Raven came to visit you!

 

I agree with everyone else about Ken. It is completely unprofessional to ask an employee to spend their own money on work expenses.

 

Stick to your guns and say "No, I am not doing that" the next time he pressures you. You have plenty of things to spend your money on and his failings are not one of them. You do not owe him any explanation.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Mistr is right. Ken has more experience manipulating helpful people than you do standing up to people like Ken, so expect some pushback. If nothing else, take a page from his book. If he asks you to spend your own money, just ignore that request.

[Harriet]

14 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I will not be doing anything to financially support the store again, even if it causes conflict. It’s just not worth how I’ve been feeling about all of this to be perceived as helpful. I know I have helper damage, but I think this is a lesson put in front of me to help me work on that. Because oy vay. Message received!

 

Excellent. I wonder if it would help to use your partner as an excuse? Like if a financial request is made: "I'll have to talk to my husband about that." It could give you some breathing space to decide, and then you can let Dave be the bad guy (if he doesn't mind). Mr Harriet and I sometimes use each other as a reason to say no to people, depending on who needs to not be the villain in any situation. For example I use Mr Harriet to get rid of people who cold call/come to the door, since they can be somewhat aggressive. If he's at home he tells them to go away. If he's not I say they have to talk to him, not me, because I don't speak German well. And he uses me as an excuse to leave events at a reasonable time because obviously we must limit my exertion. It's a total coincidence that he also gets to go home.

 

14 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I hope that you are having a fabulous end to your week and that you get a moment to play today. Thank you so much for being here. 

 

What a lovely blessing for us all ❤️

[Sovalis]

Hi Friends!

 

Last night was game and it was excellent! I was a little nervous about it, but it went over really, really well and they had a good time with it. They might stay in this location a little bit longer because something happened that tied into Nicole’s character and Nicole wasn’t there last night, so the others kind of want to bring her back to the cave and show her what they found. They defeated the young Rehmoraz (I am probably spelling that incorrectly) thanks to some clever polymorphing on the part of the Druid. It is such a great thing to have a Druid who actually wants to *and knows how to* play their class. Our previous Druid did the same three things all of the time. It wasn’t the best situation. 

 

I didn’t walk last night, but I also didn’t stop for fast food and instead ate some of the spinach bacon pie that Raven left for me on Wednesday. I feel like that is a win. I also didn’t stop to pick up game snacks and instead had two sugar free chocolates from the cupboard, some water, and a diet soda. That seemed okay. I definitely snack less when I am DMing compared to playing. There’s just so much more to do when you are running a game. 

 

I slept until 8 again this morning. I guess I really do need to deal with an alarm if I want to be getting up earlier. That is unfortunate. I made coffee, did dog chores, and talked to a friend for a while. Didn’t do my Tarot or my walk despite having more time because Saturday is my later start. I am mildly tender today, probably from standing on the basement floor for three hours. I remembered the pressure mat eventually, but it might not have been soon enough. I wonder if I should get myself some house shoes. I prefer being barefoot at home but maybe it would be beneficial?

 

I ate some cheese and leftover pierogi for breakfast, packed lunch, played with Sax and headed to work early so I could get clothespins from the dollar store as they will be helpful in making my drum on Sunday. I need to start soaking the hide tonight so it will be ready for use tomorrow evening. I don’t think the drum will be dry enough to play on Equinox, but I can still smudge it and everything then which feels good. I have my soup, cheese, peas, and almonds for lunch and no clue what I am doing for supper. In theory I should get groceries after work today so I can make lunches for next week but I don’t know what I want yet. I have made the same soup for four weeks in a row. I really like it and might make it again, but I am wondering if I should see if there’s something else I want instead. 

 

I am going to do a challenge wrap up post separately, I think. On to that next. 

 

I hope that you get a moment of inspiration today. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

 

PS: Yes, Sal, I did get your card. ❤️❤️ 

[Sovalis]

Challenge Wrap Up Post

 

Hi Friends!

 

I think this challenge overall was a success, although I didn’t do everything I set out to accomplish to the degree I had intended to get it done. Changing my dailies when March rolled around made me feel less successful overall, despite having very little practical impact on my challenge goals. It’s just harder to see the blank spaces in my Bujo, and having more dailies means more opportunities for things to not happen. I’m wondering about changing my Bujo to the six week challenge cycle (counting zero week) rather than doing a monthly spread… have to think about that and see if it works, space-wise. 

 

Walking: 15/34 - I had hoped that I was going to walk more than 15 times this challenge because that was my number from last challenge. I did not. I tied it, which is at least a tie, but I did not improve. I will be working harder on this next round. I guess if I walk today that goes up to a 16… the challenge isn’t over yet, right? 

 

Darebee: 22/34 - I did pretty well with doing a Darebee movement snack many days. I tended to stick with the same one because it is easy and I have it memorized, which met the letter of the challenge but not quite the spirit I had intended. I want to do more varied Darebee sets next challenge and incorporate the marigold weights I bought because I have barely used them. Using the weights means adding them to my routine somewhere unless I bring them to the shop. I need to think about this. I have enough time to do it at home, but often slack off after work and I am still not super motivated all mornings. Ideally I would like to tighten up my morning discipline, I think. 

 

Low Carb/Tracking: I have been eating casual low carb but I completely got away from tracking anything a few weeks ago. Tracking and I don’t seem to go steady for very long. I would like to recommit to this next challenge and see if I can do better with the tracking. I started eating pretty much identical low carb breakfasts and lunches, so those things should be relatively easy to input. It’s the scattershot of dinner that impedes my consistency. I know that dinner will be the hardest to track once Dave is home, too. I am amazed that I don’t feel deprived eating two similar meals every day; if anything I feel annoyed that I have to come up with supper on the daily. It’s one of the worst parts of adulting, I swear.  I had very few instances of fast food or takeout (three, I think?) and I only got chips for game snacks twice which is way down from a few months ago. This is good progress on those fronts. I have definitely talked myself out of fast food on days when I thought I really wanted it with a lot of success, which I think is a huge win. 

 

Fibre: Because I have been eating the same breakfasts and lunches consistently, I know I am getting a decent amount of fibre every day, ~20 grams. This does not hit the goal I had set, however. When I was eating spinach in my smoothies at the beginning my numbers were higher by a few grams, but that dropped when I switched to the fruit and yogurt and seeds for breakfast instead. The appeal of the fruit/yogurt/seeds is that it is warm where as a smoothie is cold. I definitely do not prefer cold food first thing in the morning. I also don’t usually know how much fibre I am having with supper as that is when my tracking tends to fall off. I imagine the nights I have a salad it goes okay, but there have been many nights with lower veggie counts. I would like to rededicate to this objective next challenge as well. 

 

Weight: I weighed in this morning and was 290 even, which was a nice surprise. I think that is a loss of three or four pounds, but I don’t have my black book to check my last weigh in numbers and I didn’t transfer them into the blue book because I am trying to focus less on that. I don’t know how successful I am being in trying to shift my focus, but I think there’s some progress. At the very least I have had a mindset shift that recognizes how ridiculous it is and I feel less attached to the numbers, which is to the good. Because I know there has been a loss, I am going to stick with the 50-75 grams carb range for next challenge, too, and see if a similar loss occurs. I feel that this eating modality is fairly easy to live with (while I am alone, we will see how it goes when Dave gets back) as long as I am consistently meal prepping and not having too many low spoons days. I even ate better than I expected on my lowest days of this challenge, which tells me that my mindset is changing in big ways because those would be prime days for binging crap in the before times. So another big win. 

 

And that is that! Now to draft the next one!

 

Thank you so much for all of the care and encouragement you offered through the last five weeks. I have deeply appreciated having a safe place to come to for support with everything that has been going on. You’re all marvellous. ❤️ 

 

Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

[Everstorm]

Sounds like there was a lot of win this challenge!

[Mistr]

Great job this challenge!

[Silmarilliane]

Great job on the challenge! Tbh I eat the exact same thing every day for lunch on working days but that's fine with me as I'm quite basic  

[Sovalis]

24 minutes ago, Silmarilliane said:

Great job on the challenge! Tbh I eat the exact same thing every day for lunch on working days but that's fine with me as I'm quite basic  

Thanks!

 

It’s weirdly liberating to eat the same thing on repeat. In my first marriage a lot of my worth was tied up in homemaking and cooking activities and that meant cooking three unique meals a day. I burned out on that after many years, but still have a lot of unconscious baggage implying that that is better somehow. Need to unstick that a bit, I think.  

[Kishi]

Job well done! I think for as much as this challenge threw at you in the Life department, you did wonderfully.

[Silmarilliane]

On 3/21/2023 at 5:20 PM, Sovalis said:

Need to unstick that a bit, I think.

 

I'm glad you're out of that relationship for sure, but not surprised there are underlying things still popping into your subconscious here and there...