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Chesire tries those goals again.

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How has it been 6 days already?! 


It was a good week for tackling goals.  The only slight slip was not tracking food much during the week, but I know it wasn't a bad week food-wise.  Did all the fitness stuff, including the daily dare.  Had a great week for avoiding alcohol and doing all sorts of non-scrolling-mindlessly things.  No surprise that I generally felt pretty good as a result :)


I'm considering make some beginning efforts to knock off a few pounds in the next challenge.  I have a few weeks to determine if I really have the focus to do that right now.  But spring is just around the corner and I'm feeling a bit reinvigorated and have the energy for effort.


Time for the last week push!

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A little story from work yesterday.  And a note that it is lovely to work with people that do check in with you on your mental health.


tl;dr   I made my manager uncomfortable when she found me in never before experienced by her Chesire's-super-intense-mode at work and she made a point to catch me in a moment to make sure I wasn't in a terrible mental spiral.


Working at a small business usually means (to me) that there are things that need to be done but are technically outside your job requirements, because time or expense is impactful. 


The setup;  the building owner had to come in to do something with the ceiling, so we had to clear a 15 x 15 foot space.  That meant clearing out everything in the tech dept; work benches, steel shelving sets, all the tools and supplies that gather up in there and shoving all that stuff where we could, including on to the sales floor while they did their thing.  MrC and I went in on Mon when the store was closed and cleared it out.  (I'm the only currently physically capable person there for this sort of thing, and I really felt that sort of thing shouldn't be done while the store was open.)   The dude did his thing on Wed.  Store owner and I looked at the lovely clear space and decided painting the cinder block walls in tech would brighten it up a lot. 


So Thurs I figure I'll go in early, 2 hours before opening, to get as much painting done as possible before opening, and hopefully get a plan in line to put tech back together.  After all, we do really need to be able to do the work we offer to customers.


All that to say by the time the manager arrived I had been pushing hard to get stuff done, up and down a ladder, painting, cleaning, drinking to much coffee, following my own timeline to finish up the work and generally in full Get Sh*t Done mode.  She had never seen GSD mode.  It is intense, I know. 


As I'm finishing up dragging all this steel shelving and steel work benches back into place  (by myself!  raawr  so strong! :D ) and I'm throwing my thoughts at her for this,  and this, and this, and whatever else I've compiled in my head while alone for two hours, she paused and looked at me directly and asked an amazing few questions "How are you?  Is everything ok?  Do you have a therapist?"          I know those questions could be rude, but obviously we have an established history and these were from her heart. 


I did answer, after a moment's introspection that, yes, I"m actually pretty good, and no, I don't have a therapist, but I would likely benefit from one, and this really is just me when there is a lot to do with a short timeline.  Then she asked a super sweet question.  "Do you need a hug?"  That got a longer pause for consideration and a no, I'm actually quite good.


Later, after we'd all had lunch and I was back to my usual energy level, I did mention that I know GSD mode is intense and almost manic, and thanked her for her checking in on me.  She said it's a really impressive thing to see my focus and drive when I'm in it.  I figure that was a really nice way of saying, you kind of scared me a bit  hahah


I did not tell her that I used to live in that mode for most of my waking hours, because corporate retail management and customers at Christmas time are awful.  Now that I don't have to live in it, I do enjoy periodically that push for the satisfaction of what I can do and the tired feeling of accomplishment that comes with it.


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On 3/17/2023 at 6:54 AM, Chesire said:

by myself!  raawr  so strong!


What a great  account! I love how our (potential) foibles  can work for us, in moderation and pointed in the right directions. Sounds like you've mastered that one. Kudos on a great week!

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"You're not in it to get Most [Recognized Rebel Ever]. You're not in it to be eligible for prizes. You're in this because you made a promise to yourself and you refuse to let you down. Walk the talk. And even when you don't talk much, make the walk so powerful that it leaves no room for questions - from inside or out." -note to self Str7.5 Dex6 Sta5.7 Con11.8 Wis10.4 Cha2 Intro post~Challenge 1~Challenge 2~Challenge 3~Challenge 4~Battle Log 1 Ranger Level 3


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