Rookies Battle Log

[Rookie]

I have decided to try the battle log approach since I felt my challenges read more like a journal anyways. So this will be used to track progress, thoughts, feelings, pictures etc.

 

I am in a life slump and have been since probably mid 2022. Early 2023 started off with me being let go from the job I was at for the past 10 years and realizing I need to move my horse to a new barn after being at the current one for 6 years. I also managed to break the 300lbs mark and am trending upwards. I have had an eye twitch for the better of 3 months now. So safe to say I am silently freaking out and just shutting down. I am very overwhelmed, unhappy and rarely feel at peace. The one bright light in this very confusing time has been my puppy Winnie. 

 

2023 goals

• Get a new job
  • finish coding project [started]
  • make code portfolio
  • update resume [started]
  • apply to jobs
• Move D to a new barn  ✅
  •  visit barns (running out of barns to look at 😰 )
  • give notice to current barn
  • clean spot in garage for tack locker
  • bring stuff not needed from barn (locker, check attic, get skijoring poles)
  • go through horse stuff 
• Lose 115lbs
  • aim for 1900 calories a day
  • drink 2L water a day
  • aim for 7-8hrs of sleep a day
  • weekly meal plan to limit take out
  • get more movement
• Plan Wedding for 2024
  • Pick potential dates
  • Find venue
  • Make guest list

 

My last day at my current job is April 30th and I am looking to start in May sometime. My hope is that once I get a new job and get over the anxiety of starting said new job that things will feel calmer for me. Maybe things will feel less "fight or flight". Then I can have energy to start focusing on things I want to focus on again. However, I don't think I will feel full peace again until I have Daisy moved into a new barn. 

 

I know I can't lose 115lbs by the end of the year, but I am hoping to break it into smaller chunks and get the ball rolling. Even if I could get down to 260lbs I would be happy because a lot of my "oversized" clothes are now starting to fit tightly in places. And small things like bending over to do up my half chaps is getting harder to do. 

 

Thank you for joining along and supporting me ❤️ I truly appreciate it.

[Rookie]

I find it so hard to get started in the mornings on a weekday. Especially on a Monday. I have been plugging away on my coding project and I got a basic shell working. I am now trying to hook up a database and backend to it so I can start saving data and get to the beef of the web app which is saving and comparing pictures. 

 

I took Winnie for a walk this morning. The sunshine is so nice. She's doing REALLY good with the slip leash with nose piece. I want to teach her a stop so that when she's loose I can just yell "STOP" or something and she stops and goes into a down. My trainer suggested to start doing active downs during our walks and to start working on a "wait" when I have her on a long leash.  I have started adding "downs" during our walk. They definitely need work because right now she gets distracted and doesn't commit to the down. 

 

Today I plan to go to the barn to ride and finish Daisy's hair cut. I still need to shave her winter woolies off her legs. I also need to find a pair of reins because some butthole (Daisy) decided to take herself for a joyride in the arena Saturday when I was trying to snap a picture of her. She was cantering around and got the reins over her head and did like 5-6 laps then all of a sudden thought it would be great fun to jump a jump and stepped on the reins when landing and snapped them. This is the second pair she has snapped. I am glad her mouth seemed okay and she didn't hurt herself. It could of been bad. Nothing like giving me a heart attack  So hopefully I have a back up pair somewhere because I can't be bothered to buy a new pair right now. These ones were $100 and I only had them for 1-2 years.

  

 

I was also supposed to disinfect her brushes because she had a thing called "rain rot" which is like a fungal thing and its contagious. Luckily I think I got most of it after clipping (shaving) her and treating. Buuut brushes need cleaning and they take forever to dry lol. woops.

 

Random thought... I think I need to make an effort to get dressed every day for mental health. Always wearing PJs isn't helping me, but I don't have any clothes that are super comfortable that I like wearing around the house.

[Rookie]

Last night I went to the barn, attempted to ride Daisy but there were just too many beginner riders/lessons in the arena plus Daisy was coughing anyways. So I got off early and started clipping her legs. She's all ready for spring now. We have booked our next dressage lesson for this Thursday. Fingers crossed it actually happens this time  

 

This morning Winnie and I went for another walk. She was a bit distracted at first because its garbage day and there was a big delivery truck parked at the end of our driveway. But by the end she got all the gold stars  

 

I wore different clothes then my sleep clothes today. They still don't feel super productive but I put forth effort! Last night, I also did a full nighttime routine which I guess helped me feel more human. Its a work in progress. 

 

 

 

 

[Rookie]

I have decided to make a challenge because not having one felt weird. And I thought of a way I feel I could track my challenge without getting too off track. I will try to do my daily ramblings here and my challenge will just be pictures of what I am eating and my walks or exercise.

 

 

Rookie Photo Journals

 

 

[Rookie]

I am feeling pretty good about my choice in making a challenge and how I am going about it. It is making me be more thoughtful to my food choices.

 

Yesterday

I made a bit of progress on my coding project - I am currently hooking up the backend and database. I took a break to get all my tax stuff together for the accountant.. I am always worried I forgot something.  I feel better about that but we still need to get Mr.Rs stuff up on the portal. 

 

I really wanted a sundae from DQ after agility but I opted to have my really good grapes instead. I am okay having ice cream but I can't just have food willy nilly because the urge hits me. I just felt with my food choices during the day that I could save the ice cream for another day. 

 

Agility went really good. She's such a good bug. I have to say my body felt good after agility. Next week is our last session then we will take a break from group training because she's getting her spay surgery early April. She still won't do the scary see-saw but my trainer said its a bad see-saw for teaching dogs so I could try taking her to another agility place to try the big see-saw or make my own quieter and less ...reactive see-saw lol. I am going to borrow a wobble board so get her to play with body awareness and trusting her own body more while she's recovering from her surgery.

 

Today

Winnie and I went for a longer walk this morning. Spring is definitely in the air and I am loving it. My back and feet felt good for the walk but now that I am sitting in my office chair my lower back is a bit cranky haha. During our walk I was practicing getting her to do her sit, down and middle while walking and having her hold as I continue to walk until I say her release word. My ultimate goal is to be able to just yell "STOP" and no matter what she's doing she drops into a down until I release her. I figure its pretty handy to have that button built in but also it looks freaking cool lol And I love how the border collies just slink to the ground. 

 

 

Today I am having an impromptu lunch with my one friend because she has a 2hr lunch today and she's 4 minutes away. Aside from that I don't think I really have any plans other than work on my coding project. 

 

[Rookie]

So far my dressage lesson today hasn't been cancelled! Its in 2 hours haha. Thats a good sign so far. 

[Rookie]

Lesson did happen but she got the start time wrong so I was waiting around for 40 minutes on Daisy.  It was very good and very tiring. Basically we just practiced what we did last lesson and we were trying to refine it. We did some canter work this time and she wants me to work on my downward transitions. 

[Rookie]

Not a whole lot to report on. My calves are still really sore from my lesson. Saturday Winnie and I didn't go for a walk because it was raining all day long. We did go visit the pet store and grandma which she had fun with. Saturday night we went to a bar with some friends and there was live music. We danced a bit which was fun but I'm sure that didn't help the calves situation. Today I drove my friend to the airport, walked Winnie and changed our fitted sheet on the bed because the other one was quite ripped thanks to doggos. Now I'm just kind of laying on the couch and watching tiktoks while Winnie sleeps on my shoulders. 

 

I'm thinking a bit about what I want my life to look like since my life is kind of weird at the moment. If I can, I might try to find a fully remote job. Mr.R was talking about maybe looking for a new job as well. That means we could potentially move anywhere. I don't think it will happen but it's exciting to think about none the less. 

 

Smaller things I've been thinking about lately is that I'd like to go to Sephora and have them teach me how to do my make up. I might try to figure out how to actually dance at bars, weddings, clubs, etc because I feel awkward when I try 😂 and I will get myself new (hopefully supportive) bras, and some wardrobe pieces because I hate my clothes at the moment. Maybe I could even figure out my style a bit that goes beyond hoodies and jeans. And I might get my hair cut again or learn a few hair styles I can do. I would also like to start weight lifting again. That's the time in my life where I felt the most confident and I need a bit of that right now. 

 

[Jackdaw]

12 hours ago, Rookie said:

I'm thinking a bit about what I want my life to look like since my life is kind of weird at the moment. If I can, I might try to find a fully remote job. Mr.R was talking about maybe looking for a new job as well. That means we could potentially move anywhere. I don't think it will happen but it's exciting to think about none the less.

That's an awesome idea! Try if you have a chance. And I think it'll fit perfectly to how I imagine you. You know, running with the dogs, riding horses and so on  A free soul. 

 

12 hours ago, Rookie said:

Smaller things I've been thinking about lately is that I'd like to go to Sephora and have them teach me how to do my make up. I might try to figure out how to actually dance at bars, weddings, clubs, etc because I feel awkward when I try 😂 and I will get myself new (hopefully supportive) bras, and some wardrobe pieces because I hate my clothes at the moment. Maybe I could even figure out my style a bit that goes beyond hoodies and jeans. And I might get my hair cut again or learn a few hair styles I can do. I would also like to start weight lifting again. That's the time in my life where I felt the most confident and I need a bit of that right now. 

I also wanted to learn make-up some time ago, but finally decided nothing feels as wonderful as fresh skin with zero make-up, so I gave up on this plan. Dancing sounds fun though! It might be difficult, but I think it'll be extra satisfying when you get it!

[Rookie]

2 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

That's an awesome idea! Try if you have a chance. And I think it'll fit perfectly to how I imagine you. You know, running with the dogs, riding horses and so on  A free soul. 

My soul does itch for a private property with lots of room to roam for the dogs, horse and me to explore. I think that's another reason I am feeling a bit bored with life in general. I have all the big things I could ever want but I feel I am not in the right place lol. 

 

2 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I also wanted to learn make-up some time ago, but finally decided nothing feels as wonderful as fresh skin with zero make-up, so I gave up on this plan. Dancing sounds fun though! It might be difficult, but I think it'll be extra satisfying when you get it!

I find it fun to get a little made up every once in awhile. Like when I go to a special event like a Christmas party or wedding. It would be nice for me to know how to do it properly. But I do love me that fresh skin no makeup. That is my everyday I agree dancing will be difficult because its so relative. My favourite dancer is my childhood friend because she has a contagious energy. She just bursts with light, is spontaneous and she has so much spirit and is clearly having so much fun. She's exuberant and I love it. I really admire how she dances. I want to be that lol 

[Rookie]

Today is a weird kind of gloomy but not quite gloomy day. The ground is wet but not soaked. It still kind of feels spring-like so I will take it. I think we are expecting more snow of course haha. 

 

I would say I am in a good mood so far. I slept in a little bit then played with Winnie in bed. She's just so funny and really cheers me up. I didn't take her for a walk before we went to Tims because honestly I forgot haha and I also forgot to take a picture of my breakfast. I will try to take her for a walk later today. I am waiting around for my morning meeting, then I am popping over to the barn because Daisy has a lung flush appointment.  Hahah "popping" lol its like a 35 min drive one way. After that I guess I will go get some groceries then work on my coding project the rest of the day. I am a bit sad that I can't ride Daisy since I haven't gotten the chance to since our lesson so I haven't got to practice anything. But fingers crossed I will get to on Wednesday

 

For anyone interested in what a lung flush is.... it is where they use a funnel and put liquid into her lungs then suck it out and send the liquid to the lab. Its a pricey procedure but it will confirm if she has asthma/heaves, the severity of it and what is best used for medication. I think the next step is that she will get an inhaler that I can use before I ride if she's having a cough day. I was hoping I wouldn't need to do the lung flush because I am pretty sure its just the hay causing it but I said I would do it if she started coughing while on the steroid. She's been on the steroid since November and only just started coughing mid March where as the previous winter she was coughing from October to May. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the flush comes back inconclusive. Everything I seem to do with my animals always comes back that way lol. 

[Jackdaw]

9 hours ago, Rookie said:

I think that's another reason I am feeling a bit bored with life in general. I have all the big things I could ever want but I feel I am not in the right place lol. 

I think as we get older, it's much easier to get bored, becasue most things are familiar. I struggle a little with it myself. I hope you'll get to that right place soon! What would it be? 

 

Dancing can be a great adventure, I love watching people dancing. Maybe it'll help you make the life more exciting! And you can always ask your friend for some tips

[Rookie]

18 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I think as we get older, it's much easier to get bored, becasue most things are familiar. I struggle a little with it myself. I hope you'll get to that right place soon! What would it be? 

Yah that could very well be but I am only 34 this year haha. What am I bored about. That's a good question and I don't really know. Part of me is like "well if you did find the 'right' place would it even fix anything. But I just picture myself living on some cute country property in a smallish town/area. Somewhere I can garden, hang outside with my dogs, drink tea outside and watch a sunrise, have chickens, have Daisy very close by. Go wandering, float in a creek, have a fire, walk along a beach somewhere, a life where I am not just constantly on my phone. I know I can technically do most of those things here where I am but I feel so boxed in and I can't do those things privately lol In this "right place" I also don't need to work a 9-5 lol but I feel I can't really get away from that. 

 

18 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

Dancing can be a great adventure, I love watching people dancing. Maybe it'll help you make the life more exciting! And you can always ask your friend for some tips

I don't know if I will actually go out of my way to find dancing opportunities but I can definitely practice in my house. Haha I don't know if she would even have tips other then feel the music and just move with it. I told her what I said here because I thought it might brighten up her day. She said it made her happy and warm inside. I think its so cool when you get to hear what people actually think about you. Especially when its a compliment. 

[Rookie]

Yesterday went well with the vet. They gave Daisy some sedation and she was really good despite them basically drowning her. They gave her the new steroid shot and took some blood to test her ACTH levels. Some horses tend to get Cushings disease when they get older so they like to test for that. It was included in my "senior" wellness package I paid for, so why not. They also gave me a mask to help me give her an inhaler. After the results from the lung flush come back (in about 3 days) the vet will know which inhaler I can give her. Hopefully this will be the last time I see them for a long while. I think this vet bill will end up being 1k. The vet basically also said I really need to move her somewhere else where they don't have round bales. I think out of all the places I found only 1 fed square bales to their outdoor board horses and I couldn't afford that place. But I think just getting her on better quality hay would help.

 

I ended up having to stay a bit longer than I expected because I had to wait until the sedation wore off before I could feed her and put her back outside. I used that time to clean and condition my tack which I have been avoiding Because I don't love doing it. After I left I went to Walmart and had lunch in their McDonalds because I was starving since it was like 3:30pm. I made a little meal plan while I ate and then got my groceries. I tried on a bunch of clothes because I needed new pants and shirts.... barely anything fit in a size up from my usual size. Which was a bit of a kick in the pants (haha). I ended up getting 2 pairs of jeggings, 1 funky pair of bicycle shorts, 1 shirt and a pair of jeans that I need to try on. When I got home roomy was still making dinner (chicken cutlets with mango salsa and mashed potatoes) so I put together Winnie's new crate and popped out to get a crate mat for it.  

 

Not much has been happening today. Winnie and I had snuggles in bed then we went for a walk before going to Timmies. And since then I have been working on my coding project. I was making good progress but I hit a bit of a roadblock which Google is not being super helpful with. The plan is to keep working on the project until dinner time then Winnie and I will go to her last agility class. I'm sad it's her last one for awhile. 

 

Hope everyone else is having a good day! 

[Alanna]

Following here too!

 

Hope you can find a new barn that works well for Daisy - is it just the round bales that are an issue at the current barn? Any chance there are private barns in your area that offer a boarding place or two? Those types of places tended to be my favourite (esp. because I found owners with similar care philosophies) - they didn't necessarily have the best riding facilities, but they were usually happy to make care tweaks like feeding a different hay, and there was also a lot less barn drama 😅.

 

What are you working on for your coding project? I will be job searching in earnest this summer and also want to build up a portfolio!

[Rookie]

14 hours ago, Alanna said:

Following here too!

 

Hope you can find a new barn that works well for Daisy - is it just the round bales that are an issue at the current barn? Any chance there are private barns in your area that offer a boarding place or two? Those types of places tended to be my favourite (esp. because I found owners with similar care philosophies) - they didn't necessarily have the best riding facilities, but they were usually happy to make care tweaks like feeding a different hay, and there was also a lot less barn drama 😅.

I'm not really sure how to find the private barns. I need at least an indoor arena which a lot of the smaller barns in my area that I've found don't necessarily have or it's tiny and I wouldn't feel comfortable riding in it. One of the horses that left had breathing issues for years and his new owner said he's maybe only coughed 5-6 times since leaving and she's actually able to work him now. So I'm hoping any hay would be a step up haha. My one friend moved to a private barn and the owners have been very accommodating to her and her mare (it's just a bit far, bit pricey and doesn't have outdoor board). I'm pretty good at ignoring barn drama but it's hard when it comes from your barn owner haha.  My current barn rarely has drama and all the drama that just happened was just because people were unhappy with the care of their horses and the quality and quantity of hay. 

 

14 hours ago, Alanna said:

What are you working on for your coding project? I will be job searching in earnest this summer and also want to build up a portfolio!

Remember how I started trimming hooves? I'm making a little web app where I can track horses, trim dates, pictures of trims (before and after). And I want to be able to draw mark ups over the picture and pull up 2 pictures of the same type to do a side by side comparison. I'm using the MERN stack (Mongodb, express, react and node). So far so good. I got my backend working yesterday and I wrote a few endpoints to test it. Now I need to go back to working on the front end. 

 

I should probably add a few more things to my portfolio and actually make a portfolio lol. But I'm not sure what else to add that isn't just a "to do" list 😅 

 

I wish I got started sooner but I just struggled to do so. April 30 is my last day at my current job. Do you know what job you want to get or are hoping to find? 

[Jackdaw]

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

Yah that could very well be but I am only 34 this year haha. What am I bored about. That's a good question and I don't really know. Part of me is like "well if you did find the 'right' place would it even fix anything. But I just picture myself living on some cute country property in a smallish town/area. Somewhere I can garden, hang outside with my dogs, drink tea outside and watch a sunrise, have chickens, have Daisy very close by. Go wandering, float in a creek, have a fire, walk along a beach somewhere, a life where I am not just constantly on my phone. I know I can technically do most of those things here where I am but I feel so boxed in and I can't do those things privately lol In this "right place" I also don't need to work a 9-5 lol but I feel I can't really get away from that. 

We are at a similar age then, I am 32 this year. And I think this transition from 20s to 30s is a massive one. It's so diffrent how you feel things and perceive the world. And the passing of time speeds up so drastically.

 

I have different dreams, but the feelings are pretty much the same. I do like my job, but can't stop thinking there must be something else, so much more there for me. My work time is similar, 8-5, it consumes just so much time! It makes me feel so trapped. 

 

I thought it is just me, but after reading your post, I thought, damn, maybe that's just a thing about thirties.

 

It's very nice of you to compliment your friend, compliments, especially the genuine ones, can really brighten someone's mood and give a boost of confidence.

[Alanna]

2 hours ago, Rookie said:

I'm not really sure how to find the private barns. I need at least an indoor arena which a lot of the smaller barns in my area that I've found don't necessarily have or it's tiny and I wouldn't feel comfortable riding in it. One of the horses that left had breathing issues for years and his new owner said he's maybe only coughed 5-6 times since leaving and she's actually able to work him now. So I'm hoping any hay would be a step up haha. My one friend moved to a private barn and the owners have been very accommodating to her and her mare (it's just a bit far, bit pricey and doesn't have outdoor board). I'm pretty good at ignoring barn drama but it's hard when it comes from your barn owner haha.  My current barn rarely has drama and all the drama that just happened was just because people were unhappy with the care of their horses and the quality and quantity of hay. 

 

 

I found mine on online classifieds (Craigslist in the US). I wouldn't necessarily judge these by the quality of the writing or level of detail, either (the advertisement that was terse and all caps ended up being one of my favourite barns). Any local/regional Facebook group for horse owners/riders might be good places to look, too.

 

Is the indoor arena as necessary in the summer? I know multiple moves are annoying, but maybe you could move her to a barn without one for now to at least see if it improves her health, and then search for a more permanent solution if it does? Especially if you are thinking of moving or getting a remote job in the next year or two - that could open up your possibilities a lot more. I get price and distance being an issue, though. Hopefully better hay at least decreases your vet bills!

 

3 hours ago, Rookie said:

Remember how I started trimming hooves? I'm making a little web app where I can track horses, trim dates, pictures of trims (before and after). And I want to be able to draw mark ups over the picture and pull up 2 pictures of the same type to do a side by side comparison. I'm using the MERN stack (Mongodb, express, react and node). So far so good. I got my backend working yesterday and I wrote a few endpoints to test it. Now I need to go back to working on the front end. 

 

I should probably add a few more things to my portfolio and actually make a portfolio lol. But I'm not sure what else to add that isn't just a "to do" list 😅 

 

I wish I got started sooner but I just struggled to do so. April 30 is my last day at my current job. Do you know what job you want to get or are hoping to find? 

 

The hoof app is a really cool idea! I'm probably best situated for a research/data science job (although I have some big gaps on the data science side - e.g., I haven't done much machine learning or database work/querying). I'd like to focus more on data vis, but not just dashboards for business intelligence. 

 

It is really hard to find time for side projects, especially when our day work is already really intellectually demanding. I'm finally at a point where education/life deadlines and events have calmed down, leaving me more time to do stuff on the side.

[Rookie]

On 3/29/2023 at 9:09 AM, XBlackWidowX said:

We are at a similar age then, I am 32 this year. And I think this transition from 20s to 30s is a massive one. It's so diffrent how you feel things and perceive the world. And the passing of time speeds up so drastically.

 

I have different dreams, but the feelings are pretty much the same. I do like my job, but can't stop thinking there must be something else, so much more there for me. My work time is similar, 8-5, it consumes just so much time! It makes me feel so trapped. 

 

I thought it is just me, but after reading your post, I thought, damn, maybe that's just a thing about thirties.

Maybe it is! A lot of people I talk to around my age seems to feel similar. I was happy with my job (mostly).. or rather I was happy with the people there. And I am just at a very hard part in my life (for me) so its easier to romanticizing having all the time to enjoy the things I love. I do think we need to fight for lives with better work life balance and really do things we enjoy and love. Even if we feel it would be easier if we had more time.

 

On 3/29/2023 at 9:59 AM, Alanna said:

I found mine on online classifieds (Craigslist in the US). I wouldn't necessarily judge these by the quality of the writing or level of detail, either (the advertisement that was terse and all caps ended up being one of my favourite barns). Any local/regional Facebook group for horse owners/riders might be good places to look, too.

Ive been looking in Kijiji randomly and I frequent the local FB groups and talking to friends in the area. Unfortunately I can't just move into any situation because of Daisys asthma (which got confirmed today).  

 

On 3/29/2023 at 9:59 AM, Alanna said:

Is the indoor arena as necessary in the summer? I know multiple moves are annoying, but maybe you could move her to a barn without one for now to at least see if it improves her health, and then search for a more permanent solution if it does? Especially if you are thinking of moving or getting a remote job in the next year or two - that could open up your possibilities a lot more. I get price and distance being an issue, though. Hopefully better hay at least decreases your vet bills!

Not in the summer unless their outdoor is very dusty. Asthma~ lol But yah so I reached out to 1 barn that I don't know if it would be my forever barn but its the best solution for Daisy right now.  So we will see.

 

On 3/29/2023 at 9:59 AM, Alanna said:

The hoof app is a really cool idea! I'm probably best situated for a research/data science job (although I have some big gaps on the data science side - e.g., I haven't done much machine learning or database work/querying). I'd like to focus more on data vis, but not just dashboards for business intelligence. 

 

It is really hard to find time for side projects, especially when our day work is already really intellectually demanding. I'm finally at a point where education/life deadlines and events have calmed down, leaving me more time to do stuff on the side.

Yah its been fun to do and figure out. I feel a bit rushed but it has been a lot of fun to learn. It reminds me of when I was in school and LOVED programming haha. Thats great you know what you would excel at and what you want to focus on. Thats half the battle. The other half is finding a job that lets you do those things.  But you have the freedom because you have a job so you can take your time. 

 

I never want to be on a computer after work. I need to get up and move around. Go outside. Just turn my brain off. 

[Rookie]

So I got to hear back from both vets today (dog and horse). 

 

Winnies blood work showed elevated white blood cell count. They are giving me a week of antibiotics to give and then they will redo the bloodwork. They are concerned it might be pneumonia and want to xray her chest to confirm if the infection doesnt go away I guess? (which if you followed my last challenge.. this might sound very familiar... like the emergency vet visit) 4 weeks ago she was on a course of antibiotics for a week and had ultrasounds/chest xrays to make sure it wasn't pneumonia or kennel cough. So that was a fun call. The vet was saying how her regurgitating or having liquid come up regularly is not normal and I pointed out shes been doing some form of this since she was 8wks old and I have mentioned it a few times soooooo. yah. Now Im worried theres actually something wrong with Winnie. If they end up doing the xray and it comes back clean (which it will) then they will want to scope her. 

 

Daisys lung flush confirms that yes she has asthma. She didn't say how severe but she did say she has 5% mast cells and for a horse you expect them to have 1% or less. She wants me to give an antihistamine and she will prescribe inhalers. 

 

So its not a fun day for me today But Im taking it 1 step at a time. I told my sister that I need to move Daisy and told her I was going to message one of the barns we saw originally that she and my mom didn't want to move to. I confirmed she still didn't want to go. Then I messaged that barn to ask if they had room for my mare. I am suspecting the answer will be no. But I am proud of myself for doing it even though it was terrifying. So if I do end up moving it will be this coming week probably. If not I plan on messaging my friends barn (that my sister didnt want to move to either) and see if they have room on outdoor. 

[Alanna]

4 hours ago, Rookie said:

Not in the summer unless their outdoor is very dusty. Asthma~ lol But yah so I reached out to 1 barn that I don't know if it would be my forever barn but its the best solution for Daisy right now.  So we will see.

 

 

Ah I didn't think about arena dust as another potential trigger - good point!

 

Sorry to hear both Daisy and Winnie are having health issues. Fingers crossed one of the barns you're looking at works well for Daisy. You're taking great care of both of them - hopefully you get some answers for Winnie soon, too. 

[Rookie]

On 3/30/2023 at 4:05 PM, Alanna said:

Sorry to hear both Daisy and Winnie are having health issues. Fingers crossed one of the barns you're looking at works well for Daisy. You're taking great care of both of them - hopefully you get some answers for Winnie soon, too. 

Thanks ❤️ it means a lot. This has been a weird struggle period of my life and I feel it shouldn't be this hard but theres so many feelings. How is BO going to take the news.... how will Daisy like her new digs... will she thrive there.. will she hate it and I'll be looking for a new home for her.  More below

 

---- 

 

This whole past week was crazy.

Thursday I picked up my friend from the airport. Luckily she was too tired so I drove her to her car and she went home. I was just not in the mood to hang out with all the vet stuff going on. 

 

Friday was my brothers birthday dinner and we had tacos I played dollies with my niece.

 

Saturday was pretty quiet I think. Mostly just hung out and played with Winnie. In the evening I went to the barn with my sister and brought Winnie with me. She did so good  We practiced some off leash and listening.

 

Sunday I went to visit a barn my friend moved to. My friend is unfortunately leaving a week after I arrive because her horse hated being stalled.  Its a tiny private barn. They will only ever have max 11 horses. It is run by 2 older ladies. Daisy will get a stall again (mixed feelings about this). The stalls are bedded with straw (I imagine they might be less dusty then shavings but I have no idea). They only feed square bales and are willing to soak her hay. They can give her medications twice a day. She will get her supplements and hay cubes twice a day. She will get to be out with a friend (nervous about this part  because she's choosey about who she likes). In the summer they go out on a bigger grass paddock. Its not huge but I think it will be ok. It seems bigger then some of the places I saw. And there's trails on property. It is by no means fancy but they have an outdoor hitching post I can use in the summer which is cool. There's no washroom or porta potty 👀 haha The barn had good ventilation and the one barn lady said its cooler in the summer which I think would be good for breathing. She gets to go outside for 8hrs (again I'm struggling with this a bit lol but as long as she has hay in front of her I don't think she will care). So I told my barn owner today I am leaving  she took it ok I guess. She said she was sad to see my go and she tried offering solutions to get me to stay but I told her in the end that I already committed and would like to try this other barn. I feel very torn today but I am doing what I think is best for Daisy. I also just found out (not by her) that shes going through a health scare right now. Which does make me feel a little worse but I can't control whats happening in peoples lives. 

 

Update... I was talking to her daughter about my move and saying how hard it is for me and how conflicted I am because I do love my current barn and the people. And she just messaged me and said her mom said shes not upset with me and I am welcome back at any time ❤️ 

[Rookie]

To do

- call pharmacy for daisys prescription

- pick up daisy prescription

- pick up antihistamine for Daisy

- call dog vet to ask about Winnie

- Figure out Daisys supplements for 2 time daily feedings

- Make a moving plan and list of things to bring home tomorrow

- Figure out trailer time for Daisy (Kind of done? she said 10 or 10:30)

 

I have a lot of work exports to do today so I am doing those and in the meantime (because they take some time to run for the bigger clients) I will make a plan for moving my stuff from the barn. 

 

As far as going for walks.. that probably isn't happening. Its another rainy miserable day today and I slept horribly. I feel like I am just waiting around until Friday

[Rookie]

I got out after lunch to pick up Daisys meds. Im now writing out care instructions for my horse 🤣

[Whisper]

On 4/3/2023 at 11:46 AM, Rookie said:

I feel very torn today but I am doing what I think is best for Daisy.

Really proud of you. This has been a long, hard saga, but you've kept pushing, and you're doing what is best for Daisy.