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got irrefutable proof that im a terrible person bc im having like. no emotional response to this. maybe mild annoyance. little bit of "wow being dead would be so great" too but ugh.

 

naturally broski is now saying that he's never going to drive again. Apparently the wreck was his fault because even though he's been driving for months now, doing this route almost every day, he forgot that this one spot is a two way and not a four-way i guess? So he pulled out in front of a truck and got the whole back of my car messed up. So now i have to figure out how i'm going to get a vehicle and get to work. I'm torn between the "deep clean everything to cope" instinct and the "just go to bed honestly just. heckin sleep" instinct.

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Matthew 25:34-40

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2 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

The way you respond is not reflective on who you are as a person. Numbness at first is not uncommon, you'll probably start feeling things soon. I'm really pissed at your brother.

 

thank you ❤️ we've reached the If Anyone Speaks To Me I'll Combust stage

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Matthew 25:34-40

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Hello i am currently at the "everything is too hard" stage and will probably call out tonight because there is Too Much To Deal With

 

Broski has enough in savings to probably take care of getting me a replacement car, It won't be fully paid for but he'll make the payments on it since as of now he's still employed at Lear. I figure since they let him no call no show the other night and still pestered me all night long wanting me to help convince him to stay [i did not help convince him to stay] AND are cool with him being out til wednesday even though theoretically neither of us has any personal hours, they should be cool with me hanging out another night while i get the car situation straightened out. Jeeez. 

 

I can't think. I need my insurance to kick in. Everything is loud and complicated. 

 

One thing i know i need to do for this Challenge is focusing on my schoolwork, on which i am very behind- although it's self-paced so it's not like i'm in danger of getting kicked out or anything, i just have to actually do the work -and nutrition. The nutrition is especially important as in one of my !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! modes i went and signed up for BeTheMatch so now i have to hurry up and get myself sorted in case i wind up matching with anyone. I also just very much want to not be a weakling.

 

I made soup, finally, and some cornbread. I make very good cornbread. The soup is just random stuff i found in the kitchen, which is of course the best way to make soup. It reminded me of great grandmother, and things that remind me of great grandmother make me feel like crying but also tend to make things a little better. 

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Matthew 25:34-40

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Apparently momsauce thought I was about to be making the car payments and is now mad at me because I told her that the payments should be broski's responsibility since he's the one who wrecked my car? Which i thought was reasonable? Why should i have to make payments on a car when he's the one who wrecked mine? She straight up started crying and got all upset because she thinks he'll be upset but i'm confused as to why it's an issue. I assumed he knew he'd be the one making the payments since again, he's the one who wrecked my car. And the wreck was his fault so...??? What's the problem?

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  • Wow 3

Matthew 25:34-40

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i'm kinda upset because i am feeling more and more like i want to go away and live by myself but at the same time i'm also still very 😕 because i really don't see a point in anything. I don't see the point now i don't see the point if i'm by myself like. Why am i here and why do we have to play this stupid game. What do you even say on a hotline call? They tell you to take a break and it's like,,,,When. And For What. Just not feelin it. 

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Matthew 25:34-40

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11 minutes ago, Maggie-Miau said:

Apparently momsauce thought I was about to be making the car payments and is now mad at me because I told her that the payments should be broski's responsibility since he's the one who wrecked my car? Which i thought was reasonable? Why should i have to make payments on a car when he's the one who wrecked mine? She straight up started crying and got all upset because she thinks he'll be upset but i'm confused as to why it's an issue. I assumed he knew he'd be the one making the payments since again, he's the one who wrecked my car. And the wreck was his fault so...??? What's the problem?

The problem is the toxic misogyny your family has inherited. She was brought up to value men higher than women, so she enables the men in her life and expects you to do the same.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Just now, Maggie-Miau said:

i'm kinda upset because i am feeling more and more like i want to go away and live by myself but at the same time i'm also still very 😕 because i really don't see a point in anything. I don't see the point now i don't see the point if i'm by myself like. Why am i here and why do we have to play this stupid game. What do you even say on a hotline call? They tell you to take a break and it's like,,,,When. And For What. Just not feelin it. 

That's rough. And it's a normal reaction to all the crap you've dealt with your whole life.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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35 minutes ago, Maggie-Miau said:

Broski got the loan so that means the payments will be his responsibility and we don't have to worry about the car

Make sure the title is in your name, and keep an eye on him to make sure he keeps up with the payments.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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18 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Make sure the title is in your name, and keep an eye on him to make sure he keeps up with the payments.

 

Oh he will keep up with the payments , the one thing he doesn't play around with is money. He could be a professional bookkeeper if he'd put in the work

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Matthew 25:34-40

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1 hour ago, Maggie-Miau said:

56055d4197ebcbcdf8bc9a5f0f55bc87dbbbac81

 

broski said he wanted to get me a new car instead of a used one so i now have a 2023 Toyota Corolla 😮 i will be helping with the payments on it since it def costs more than the value of the wrecked Fusion but Wow. 

Don't let him drive this one.

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"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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ANYWAY

goals???????????????

 

Nutrition

- Daily protein shake
- Daily grain, green, bean meal doesn't matter what
- Supplementary protein bar probably for work snack
- Drink water. I have a half gallon jug i need to get back to using

 

Exercise
- go outside for walkies or haunt the apartment playground like a spectre when there's no kidlets around
- do actual exercise, gave up on the gym because i don't like being around people so just exercise at home geez

School:

- finish penn foster [read: work on it every day just, do something in it] 

- complete a lesson on Lingvano [asl] every day

 

Sanity: 

- Budget so i can keep saving
- Schedule doctor appointment as soon as my insurance kicks in
- Set up chore/cleaning schedule to keep the apartment tidy
- Do hobbies/plan for down time/know when my days off are

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Matthew 25:34-40

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Great goals, and great job hanging in there though all of this latest 🤯😡🤯 nonsense. You are hella tough. 

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“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."

-Joseph Campbell


2022 Challenges: Push, Core, SimplePooh, Timebox, NaNoWriMo

2023 Challenges: 20SOC, Travel, Battery, Song n'Dance

                                                                                                                                

 

 

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8 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

 i went to the health fair at work today and got a good grade in blood. 

Written in blood???

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSnRcjUHHufVYtVQfXptaW

 

😲

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