[TimovieMan]

15 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Ohhh that gif triggers politics aggression xD so angry about our recent elections. 

Not pleased with the BBB coming out of nowhere? 😅

[KB Girl]

20 hours ago, MaeradCase said:

🌟🌟🌟 gold stars because you did a great job!!!

I'll gladly take those, thank you!

 

7 hours ago, Sepherina said:

Following and I too love the all or something. Writes it down for future reference

 I've been retraining my brain with that phrase for over a year now, I'm definitely seeing some benefits. 

 

6 hours ago, Wild Wolf said:

The longer the hug, the better  . There's a lvl of squeezing too that I think helps alleviate the stress factors we all deal with. No wimpy side hugs here! 

 

Wolf

Truth! Length, appropriate level of squeeze, good smell and excellent timing are the good hug ingredients. 

 

5 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

Not pleased with the BBB coming out of nowhere? 😅

Not surprised but yea.. definitely not pleased. It does make sense, I get why a lot of people felt compelled to vote for them.. but I hate it. I hate the stupid "no farmers no food" slogans as well, conveniently ignoring that our tiny little country is the biggest meat exporter in Europe. And really, we should be more concerned with Shell, KLM, tata steel and other big companies ruining everything.. but the industrial farming is still a big problem. Too bad it's just vegans vs farmers in the media instead of focusing on things that could be a middle ground, like regenerative agriculture. 

Ok I'll get off my soapbox. Democracy sucks and I am worried for my children's future. I'll really stop now, ugh. 

[KB Girl]

Last night I was up with the 3yo who had a nightmare so today I slept as long as possible and let everyone else sleep even longer. I took my non-electric bike to work, I did backsquats and chinup negatives, I made a phone call I had been dreading, I asked Jaap to help me out by taking both kids to swimming class so I could tackle some more things that were stressing me out, I read to my eldest, I had salad for lunch and I got strawberries for an after dinner snack instead of chocolate. I may still have some chocolate in a minute

ETA a photo of my kids colouring, I’m loving it.

Spoiler

 

[DaemonCorax]

I love the "all or something"

 

Also, being listened to MUST be a love language. Especially in a house with kids, where your attention is always getting pulled.

[Sepherina]

Sepherina wipes a tear of joy from her eye as she reminisces about her kids being that small once and misses the joyous hugs and shouts of “Mom”.

 

Your kids are absolutely adorable.  I am sure there are tons of wonderful hugs that smell of fresh grass, sunshine and laughter.  

 

 

 

[Harriet]

That's a lovely picture of a lovely moment ❤️

[KB Girl]

21 hours ago, DaemonCorax said:

I love the "all or something"

 

Also, being listened to MUST be a love language. Especially in a house with kids, where your attention is always getting pulled.

It does make it more precious! and feeling understood may just be a basic human need? 

 

5 hours ago, Sepherina said:

Sepherina wipes a tear of joy from her eye as she reminisces about her kids being that small once and misses the joyous hugs and shouts of “Mom”.

 

Your kids are absolutely adorable.  I am sure there are tons of wonderful hugs that smell of fresh grass, sunshine and laughter.  

 

Thank you! Also often sticky smelly hugs with wet sticky kisses, but yes they are wonderful  oh and I really love sleepy hugs ❤️ 

Yours are teens now aren't they? 

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

That's a lovely picture of a lovely moment ❤️

Thank you ❤️ 

[KB Girl]

Today I did everything (15km) by bike even though it was raining, I helped people at work, I did deadlifts, reverse lunges and benchpress, I helped Jaap socialise with his estranged brother (first time he visited in 13 years), went for a walk with the kids and did a quick bathroom clean during my shower. 

I'm tired and I have a headache and I raised my voice with the kids and I should be doing some work right now but I just cannot. 

[Scaly Freak]

2 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

I'm tired and I have a headache and I raised my voice with the kids and I should be doing some work right now but I just cannot. 

 

You are human.  You get tired just like everyone else does sometimes. See if Jaap is available for a hug, and take a few deep breaths, maybe a few moments to yourself, and don't worry about the work. It can wait.

[sylph]

1 hour ago, KB Girl said:

I helped Jaap socialise with his estranged brother (first time he visited in 13 years

This sounds like it could be emotionally exhausting.

[Sepherina]

16 hours ago, KB Girl said:

It does make it more precious! and feeling understood may just be a basic human need? 

 

Thank you! Also often sticky smelly hugs with wet sticky kisses, but yes they are wonderful  oh and I really love sleepy hugs ❤️ 

Yours are teens now aren't they? 

 

Thank you ❤️ 

Yeah. They are.  This year they will be 20, 18 and 16.  Sticky, smelly hugs are great too.

[KB Girl]

On 3/25/2023 at 8:51 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

You are human.  You get tired just like everyone else does sometimes. See if Jaap is available for a hug, and take a few deep breaths, maybe a few moments to yourself, and don't worry about the work. It can wait.

Thank you. I made the work wait. It’s unpleasant because there are people waiting for it, so I will feel bad about it until it’s done. 
 

On 3/25/2023 at 10:43 PM, sylph said:

This sounds like it could be emotionally exhausting.

It was actually not that bad, but now that you mention it, it probably did play a part in me being very done in the evening. 
 

9 hours ago, Sepherina said:

Yeah. They are.  This year they will be 20, 18 and 16.  Sticky, smelly hugs are great too.

It seems like a great experience watching them grow up  but probably also bittersweet Hm. 

[KB Girl]

Today I was grumpy about not having enough time to do a full workout again, but then I remembered I could probably still do something and then I ended up doing almost a full training session in 20 minutes  I don’t normally go for no warmup and no rest, but i don’t mind that I did today. 
 

I also did everything by bike, made a detour past the garden, connected well with people who needed it at the gym, met with a friend, made pancakes and attended the kb federations meeting in the evening. 

[Everstorm]

Good job starting with "or something" and ending up with "all" of a workout!

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

all or something is similar to my challenge mentality this go-round

[KB Girl]

20 hours ago, Everstorm said:

Good job starting with "or something" and ending up with "all" of a workout!

Thanks!  

 

19 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

all or something is similar to my challenge mentality this go-round

I hope it works for you!

[KB Girl]

Today I went to the dentist, took the kids outside for a couple hours, tried to get some work done but ended up doing nonogram puzzles thanks to @TimovieMan, made the kids a healthy dinner and ordered pizza for myself x)

[KB Girl]

Yesterday I did a something workout (lunges, rows and dips), sowed some more seeds, did some work admin stuff, cooked dinner, babysat my nephew while my sister was having a crisis and went for a late night bike ride to get her some chocolate to go with the hugs. 

[Alanna]

 

Love the all or something goal,  too . Perfection is the enemy of progress!

[KB Girl]

20 hours ago, Alanna said:

 

Love the all or something goal,  too . Perfection is the enemy of progress!

I love that you got the reference  @spezzy has a belt with the original on it, it’s awesome. 

[KB Girl]

Yesterday I did the therapy thing again, did a something workout (paused squats, KB deadlifts and pull-ups), then later did a second something workout (70 kettlebell jerks), took my youngest to her gym class, made a scary phone call and baked croissants with my eldest. 
 

I also picked a fight with Jaap. I did backup and apologise quickly but I wish I didn’t want to bite his head off just because he asked how I was doing. 

[Scaly Freak]

7 minutes ago, KB Girl said:

I also picked a fight with Jaap. I did backup and apologise quickly but I wish I didn’t want to bite his head off just because he asked how I was doing. 

 

This is oh so very familiar. When I do this, it's a serious anxiety symptom.

 

While I would never want to presume to tell you what causes hardship for you, I would like to suggest that it could be worth it to try and look past the surface reason for why you wanted to bite Jaap's head off, and try to figure out why that question bothered you so much.

 

Also, introspection sucks and is not for the faint of heart.

[Alanna]

2 hours ago, KB Girl said:

I love that you got the reference  @spezzy has a belt with the original on it, it’s awesome. 

 

My nerdy video game knowledge is admittedly poor, but NF has at least got me up to speed on that famous line! I thought of spezzy's awesome belt too - I remember when she first posted it on instagram, which probably shows my NF age 😆

 

I hope your Wednesday therapy session was helpful - how is asking/receiving help going?

 

2 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

While I would never want to presume to tell you what causes hardship for you, I would like to suggest that it could be worth it to try and look past the surface reason for why you wanted to bite Jaap's head off, and try to figure out why that question bothered you so much.

 

 

I'll gentle second this, @Scaly Freak makes a great point. You also probably had a lot going on emotionally between the phone call and the therapy appointment (I always found them to be emotionally exhausting, even if they went "well"), so it's not surprising that you had a strong reaction to a trigger that hit some (currently unknown) button.  Also wanted to say that it's really impressive how quickly you recognised the strong reaction and apologised!

[DaemonCorax]

7 hours ago, KB Girl said:

I also picked a fight with Jaap. I did backup and apologise quickly but I wish I didn’t want to bite his head off just because he asked how I was doing. 

 

Historically in this house I am the one who does this. If MFH snaps it is because of obvious stressors in the moment. If I snap it's more like a verbal lunge from the depths of some rage and fear-infested hole. It was MUCH worse in my first pregnancy. I hated it. I felt awful for how I behaved. But it came from a deep fear of abandonment and lack of being heard. We moved through a lot of it and that's probably why it doesn't happen any more - there's more understanding between us. I haven't magically become a better person. The in-the-moment snapping though still deserves some analysis. It's obviously a product of overwhelm and too-many-things. Hugs are good. Figuring out if there are patterns in your responsibilities, both in and out of the house, that are pushing you too far is worth some time. It's never "as soon as this thing X is over things will easier." There is always a next thing and its worth keep our relationships durable to the never-ending rotation. (For us this has meant that we chronically set too many goals for ourselves individually and as a household and need to back off and filter better to enjoy the things we care about most.)

[KB Girl]

Thank you for the thoughtful comments, very appreciated! I will reply later when I am not on my phone. 
 

Yesterday I let Jaap have a proper lie in (he sleeps poorly after we ‘fight’), had a friend over for lunch, visited the garden centre and managed to only spend €13, took my 6yo to her gym class and then helped her cook dinner (shawarma)- but really I only had to turn on the oven. 
 

Today I went to work, worked some more at home, cooked dinner, read bedtime stories to the kids and solved a lot of (too many) nonograms.