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[Renate] continues breathing


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Hello. Thank you all for having me still.

 

I'm so tired. But I keep taking steps.

 

Funny how much energy you have in you when you believe there's more.

 

Saturday a friend comes over to help me with moving stuff.

 

Last leg. Getting bed frames from ikea. 2 oneperson to have, well, a huge bed ahhh, and also going to get things to be able to make them into a couch idea and to be able to sleep separately, maybe with a screen or so, when I have someone over for visit.

 

Until I build a circle in my new living space most of my friends still live a decent amount of time away.

 

The big question: will I finally feel safe and secure enough to get a gym membership?! lol

 

Challenge goals are keep breathing.

 

Keep moving and laughing.

 

Keep bobbing and weaving the negative.

 

Keep seeking out the people and activities that give me energy.

 

Breaking the cycle.

 

 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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I have muscle aches all over lol.

 

Cleaned last weekend, moved a lot yesterday.

 

Didn't manage to fit everything I wanted to in my friend's car☺️

 

I'll see how much I can lug over by public transport today. No car rental places open on Sunday haha. 

 

There is a service that could help me out but I'm not suuuper trustful of it.

 

But if I can't move everything tomorrow I'll have to check it out 🤷‍♀️  Don't really feel confident enough to drive with the current stressors etc.

 

Also had an Ikea run. Now I have More of my Own Things. Holy shit it's wonderful.

 

It's... I've always said I am not about possesisons but I never realized how I never felt like ANY of my stuff was MY stuff with my family around.

 

Had my first night in my new place. Feels absolutely blissful.

 

Despite the neighbour(s) being talkative on a loudish volume and the TV being loud from straight early in the morning.

 

Taking note to talk with the first floor neighbour in any case (no upper ones)

 

And getting good-ish speakers moves up on my priority list to be able to listen to sound without straining my ears too much. (it tires your brain out to process certain quality more)

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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Okay.

 

Took quite a bit and in my bicycle bags (along with my bicycle) to my new place.

 

Theoretically, if my friend is recovered enough from his cold to help me on Thursday, we can carry my stuff to my new place.

 

Except my fucking ironing board lol. 

 

I considered tying it to my bicycle but fuck it.

 

I'm going to think about it but I feel like I need to be a big girl and use that service. Damn it. 😂

 

Ah well. 

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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Following!  I am glad you have found a place you can call your own where you can have some peace.

Home Sweet Home Love GIF by The SOL Foundation

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“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy” -Nightbirde

 “Dreams do not come true all by themselves. They are nourished by the bounty of hard work”  -Unknown Disney Imagineer

 

2024 Word

Svastha: Standing in One’s Own Power

Current Challenge:

Sepherina Roams Among the Trees

Prior Challenges

Spoiler

Sepherina:

#1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9#10

 

Avery The Patient:

#1 , #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 

 

 

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Alriiight. No more going back with these Very Dutch stairs lol. Checked out at my old place.

 

My contract here is for "max 2 years" but I might be able to stay for longer of course. Either way I can breathe.

 

I woke up super early a bit anxious and so on, so I started making lists of all the fun things in my future (certain and possible).

 

If I am correct, financial situation should look up very soon.

 

Every day on my own is I day I get confidence in myself. My abilities to plan for expenses and so on.

 

❣️

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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My head has been so incredibly full.

 

I did some social things this Easter weekend to kickstart my journey towards settling in my new living area.

 

Lots of sharing various levels of my story. What got me here. An appointment with the GP-connected therapist.

 

Processing/mourning my old job place, colleagues. Processing, learning from my memories there. Forgiving... mistakes?

 

Went to jog. Walking routes to get to know the neighbourhood.

 

Dusted off my 3 photo instagram account and chocked it full with any memories I could find in my phone and laptop, so I can have something to... Show as a conversation starter in new places. If others have insta as well. 

 

I avoided social media for so long but it has a purpose right now. similarly to how I made a facebook after having none for 2 years when I started uni. To be able to join class fb groups.

 

Went to a live music show. Bought my dream spring coat. For image purposes. Outside networking, job staple.

 

Was talked to by the store personnel in a way that triggered memories of how personnel used to talk to my grandmother. 

 

Miscalculated when I'd get my deposit back from my old place. So I am a bit tighter than I'd like to, but it will be okay. 10 days until pay day and I have an employer that pays on the dot. Office manager + book keeper is very punctual.

 

And so on my Odyssee goes.

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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1. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpnoE-hLPLo/?igshid=ODM2MWFjZDg=

 

"makes jokes about how she has commitment issues, so funny, haha" 😂

 

Jesus I am learning many things one after the other.

 

2. It's finally sinking in what so many things mean in... practice. "There are friends for different things."

 

3. Four days until pay day. I can slowly start figuring out my interior and other needs, lol. Taking in consideration I will likely get my deposit of my former place back mid-May, but the rental mediator is contractually allowed to hold it until 31 July. 🙄

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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Haha I am having my neighbour downstairs over to help me put together my table and chairs and it is funny to see how my brain immediately shifted / got a little perspective shift and ideas about how to organise some stuff I previously felt stuck about.

 

I knew this would happen but fun to feel and see the result.

 

He is a bit weird btw, bit triggering, showed interest in me in intimate ways/interpreted some things I said that way despite being 58 buuut yeh. I have taken my time and there are considerations and measures in place if something weird happens.

 

My friends are all busy and some likely support fatigued of me 😅

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Level ☆ human [uncategorizable]
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 3 | STA 3 | WIS 6 | CHA 6

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