TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 Well, last challenge was a mess. Like don’t get me wrong, I did okay - better than I would have expected - but it was rough. There’s a lot of stuff going on emotionally with me that’s affecting my physical health. I have plans in place to help address all of that, but in the meantime I want to do what I can to take care of my physical health. I thought I was looking small enough last challenge, but I truly think I need to think even smaller habit wise. Build up tiny habits and eventually my bad habits will be replaced with good ones. Everything going on is exhausting, and it’s hard to have hope right now, but I’ve just started therapy and I’ll be ensuring I can stay on my medication as well. My little baby Jedi is at an interesting stage of life where she’s not content to stay in one place, but can’t really motor on her own yet. It definitely makes working and trying to keep up with the house challenging, but I’m doing the best I can. Hopefully everything I’m doing today (challenge day 1) is enough to kickstart my week so that I’m not behind for the entire week like I have been this week. I’ve been getting up earlier in an attempt to be functional enough to manage but it’s definitely been difficult either way. Even though this challenge is being put together at the last minute, I’m still excited like I usually am at the beginning of a challenge. And here are my goals for this challenge: Drink Water Daily I got a little lax with this last time but I need to keep up with it. I may no longer be breastfeeding, but water intake is still super important. Especially with how much coffee I’m drinking to stay conscious. So the full on goal with this is to fill up my large water bottle and finish it once every day. Walk 2x/week Now that the weather is nicer and warming up, and my mom is no longer as busy, she and I are going to resume walking. I also want to get into the habit of walking up and down the driveway if we don’t walk together. The 5x/week I initially made my goal was a bit ambitious, so this time I’m only doing 2 per week as my goal. I can increase these over time. Workout 1x/week I do want to keep building muscle, so I’m going to try doing strength workouts once a week. What I was doing, the build-your-own workout from the NF main site, was actually pretty cool. It didn’t take too long but actually worked everything I wanted it to work. And as a nice bonus I wasn’t completely wrecked afterwards either. http://i.giphy.com/1334O1WETb3sIM.gif Fruits & Veggies At Every Meal Again, fruits and veggies. Goal is to have one at every meal. I’ve been doing okay with it, but I could definitely do better. This is helping make sure I’m eating okay and not overloading my poor gallbladder. Do These Tasks During This Challenge This is just an assortment of mental and physical health mini-boss-challenges that really need to get done during this challenge. Make ObGyn appointment Read a book Pay off Best Buy Card Set up Change of Address Bake proper sourdough bread Each one will be worth 5 points, because they’re fairly big tasks. Have a PLUS ULTRA challenge!! Below is an installment of the MHA themed narrative I started last challenge. Spoiler Toshiko scanned the list of goals her cousin Hitoshi had written down for her intently. “Not all of this is training related,” she felt compelled to point out. “It shouldn’t be,” Hitoshi replied. “You’re a whole person beyond the physical training. Things have been hard recently, I don’t want you to forget that.” Toshiko nodded, giving Hitoshi a small smile before she beamed. “Okachan said she’d start teaching me to cook,” she told her cousin excitedly. “Good,” Hitoshi smirked. “UA is a boarding school now and the students cook their own meals in most dorms. It’ll serve you well.” “Most dorms?” Toshiko,’s brow furrowed. “It’s dependent on the teacher,” Hitoshi explained. “Some of the teachers will cook for their students, and pretty much all of them will treat everyone every once in awhile. I heard that Snipe cooks around exam season for his homeroom, and made a point to do it weekly once his group hit their third year. Thirteen was my homeroom teacher until I was transferred, and she had herself as part of the chores rota for the class as if she was a student too.” Hitoshi snorted. “Aizawa-sensei is hands off as long as we don’t burn the dorm down. I asked my classmates and apparently he tried to cook for them once.” “What happened?” Toshiko asked, enraptured now. Hitoshi burst into laughter. “Almost the whole class was down with some cold,” he began. “So this poor guy decided that the cure was chicken noodle soup. From the sound of it, he couldn’t find a translation for this American recipe, so decided he’d wing it.” “Oh no,” Toshiko murmured, eyes wide. “Oh yes,” Hitoshi was clearly enjoying himself. “Apparently everything was going great until he misread the garlic. It was supposed to be 3-4 cloves. He’d heard the same thing the rest of us had about American cooking and decided to use more than the recipe called for. Unfortunately that meant that ultimately he used five whole bulbs of garlic.” “Dear God,” she giggled, imagining it. “Yupp, even the sick ones whose sinuses were glued shut couldn’t stomach more than a couple of bites. The worst part is that he’s close friends with the English teacher.” “You’re kidding,” Toshiko deadpanned. “Nope,” Hitoshi swore. “He ultimately had to call Lunch Rush to make a huge pot of soup in replacement.” Toshiko was laughing brightly by this time. “I bet the sick ones had their noses cleared,” she managed. “You’re so right,” Hitoshi snorted. After a few moments of laughter, the cousins quieted. “Hey Toshi?” “Yeah?” Hitoshi’s violet, silver-pupiled eyes met her identical ones. “What if I don’t get into UA?” “Why wouldn’t you?” he countered. “You’re more than smart enough for the exam. Even if you don’t get into heroics immediately you can transfer in.” “I’m only third in my grade,” she pointed out. “You’re third in your grade,” Hitoshi gave her a look. “There may only be a couple hundred students in your grade, but you’re still in the top five. I was like tenth. At best.” “But what if I fail out?” Toshiko asked. “You won’t,” he told her. “Just ask for help. The teachers are mostly pretty cool. If you need help, they’ll help you.” Hitoshi furrowed his brow, quiet for a moment. “And don’t be afraid to be average. Just do your best. That’s what counts.” “But what if my best isn’t good enough?” she protested. “Your best is more than good enough,” Hitoshi cut her off. “No one with any sense would ask you for more than your best.” “Okay,” Toshiko calmed a bit. “Thanks Toshi.” “No prob, cousin,” he smirked. “Let’s finish this schedule.” 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 27 Report Share Posted March 27 Glad to see you have a thread again, and this is a good set of goals. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 27 Author Report Share Posted March 27 16 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Glad to see you have a thread again, and this is a good set of goals. I went back and forth on doing a challenge this go round, honestly - but being in here makes me happy. Even little goals help me move forward 2 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 27 Author Report Share Posted March 27 Happy day 1 of challenge everyone. Got my water in by like 4pm for once, then drank zero sugar Starry (I limit myself to 1/day b/c aspertame) and i'm about to make a decaf coffee to finish off my tasks with. I also managed to meal prep breakfasts and lunches for the week - thank God. I used to think I didn't need to meal prep with working from home. I was wrong. So wrong. Currently I have six tupperware full of turkey egg roll in a bowl cooling on the counter. I've also almost finished my work for this past week, done my monthly, weekly, and challenge spreads in my Clever Fox planner, and I emptied the dishwasher. I have like half an hour of work stuff left, dishes, and my Japanese lessons still to do. And if I can manage, i'm going to finish writing a chapter of my fanfiction and wash my poor hair. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted March 28 Report Share Posted March 28 On 3/27/2023 at 12:32 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Below is an installment of the MHA themed narrative I started last challenge. Reveal hidden contents Toshiko scanned the list of goals her cousin Hitoshi had written down for her intently. “Not all of this is training related,” she felt compelled to point out. “It shouldn’t be,” Hitoshi replied. “You’re a whole person beyond the physical training. Things have been hard recently, I don’t want you to forget that.” Toshiko nodded, giving Hitoshi a small smile before she beamed. “Okachan said she’d start teaching me to cook,” she told her cousin excitedly. “Good,” Hitoshi smirked. “UA is a boarding school now and the students cook their own meals in most dorms. It’ll serve you well.” “Most dorms?” Toshiko,’s brow furrowed. “It’s dependent on the teacher,” Hitoshi explained. “Some of the teachers will cook for their students, and pretty much all of them will treat everyone every once in awhile. I heard that Snipe cooks around exam season for his homeroom, and made a point to do it weekly once his group hit their third year. Thirteen was my homeroom teacher until I was transferred, and she had herself as part of the chores rota for the class as if she was a student too.” Hitoshi snorted. “Aizawa-sensei is hands off as long as we don’t burn the dorm down. I asked my classmates and apparently he tried to cook for them once.” “What happened?” Toshiko asked, enraptured now. Hitoshi burst into laughter. “Almost the whole class was down with some cold,” he began. “So this poor guy decided that the cure was chicken noodle soup. From the sound of it, he couldn’t find a translation for this American recipe, so decided he’d wing it.” “Oh no,” Toshiko murmured, eyes wide. “Oh yes,” Hitoshi was clearly enjoying himself. “Apparently everything was going great until he misread the garlic. It was supposed to be 3-4 cloves. He’d heard the same thing the rest of us had about American cooking and decided to use more than the recipe called for. Unfortunately that meant that ultimately he used five whole bulbs of garlic.” “Dear God,” she giggled, imagining it. “Yupp, even the sick ones whose sinuses were glued shut couldn’t stomach more than a couple of bites. The worst part is that he’s close friends with the English teacher.” “You’re kidding,” Toshiko deadpanned. “Nope,” Hitoshi swore. “He ultimately had to call Lunch Rush to make a huge pot of soup in replacement.” Toshiko was laughing brightly by this time. “I bet the sick ones had their noses cleared,” she managed. “You’re so right,” Hitoshi snorted. After a few moments of laughter, the cousins quieted. “Hey Toshi?” “Yeah?” Hitoshi’s violet, silver-pupiled eyes met her identical ones. “What if I don’t get into UA?” “Why wouldn’t you?” he countered. “You’re more than smart enough for the exam. Even if you don’t get into heroics immediately you can transfer in.” “I’m only third in my grade,” she pointed out. “You’re third in your grade,” Hitoshi gave her a look. “There may only be a couple hundred students in your grade, but you’re still in the top five. I was like tenth. At best.” “But what if I fail out?” Toshiko asked. “You won’t,” he told her. “Just ask for help. The teachers are mostly pretty cool. If you need help, they’ll help you.” Hitoshi furrowed his brow, quiet for a moment. “And don’t be afraid to be average. Just do your best. That’s what counts.” “But what if my best isn’t good enough?” she protested. “Your best is more than good enough,” Hitoshi cut her off. “No one with any sense would ask you for more than your best.” “Okay,” Toshiko calmed a bit. “Thanks Toshi.” “No prob, cousin,” he smirked. “Let’s finish this schedule.” That was a wonderful read, thank you for sharing it. On 3/27/2023 at 2:10 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I went back and forth on doing a challenge this go round, honestly - but being in here makes me happy. Even little goals help me move forward You being here makes us happy too! On 3/27/2023 at 2:18 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Happy day 1 of challenge everyone. Got my water in by like 4pm for once, then drank zero sugar Starry (I limit myself to 1/day b/c aspertame) and i'm about to make a decaf coffee to finish off my tasks with. I also managed to meal prep breakfasts and lunches for the week - thank God. I used to think I didn't need to meal prep with working from home. I was wrong. So wrong. Currently I have six tupperware full of turkey egg roll in a bowl cooling on the counter. I've also almost finished my work for this past week, done my monthly, weekly, and challenge spreads in my Clever Fox planner, and I emptied the dishwasher. I have like half an hour of work stuff left, dishes, and my Japanese lessons still to do. And if I can manage, i'm going to finish writing a chapter of my fanfiction and wash my poor hair. An excellent start! 1 Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
KB Girl Posted March 28 Report Share Posted March 28 On 3/27/2023 at 3:10 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I went back and forth on doing a challenge this go round, honestly - but being in here makes me happy. Even little goals help me move forward They really do! All little bits help. Even just the mindset of wanting to do little bits helps. 1 Quote KB Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and an excellent coach 2023 goals tracker; cycling: 1047,7/5000km & reading to my kids: 58/365 days (updated may 1st) my instagram - my gym's instagram Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 29 Author Report Share Posted March 29 On 3/28/2023 at 9:05 AM, Rhovaniel said: That was a wonderful read, thank you for sharing it. You being here makes us happy too! An excellent start! I'm glad you like it! I don't mind sharing my AO3 user if you want to read more of my work Thanks! 20 hours ago, KB Girl said: They really do! All little bits help. Even just the mindset of wanting to do little bits helps. Yes! Even the hard days and the hard weeks. Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 29 Author Report Share Posted March 29 It's... been a hard week. I ran out of my antidepressants on monday. Last night I went to urgent care and got a new prescription to last me until my doctor's appt in May, but also I'm exhausted and struggling with motivation. I think the worst part is how constantly behind I feel. Like I've constantly got a neverending to do list and things like showering and washing my hair keep getting dropped to the bottom. And doing things for me. I just have soooo many priorities and that's not viable. I don't know if it's the depression, the anxiety, or being overcommitted. Either way it's a lot. I've been decent about drinking my water and getting fruits/veggies in. Still haven't cooked because time but I'm coping. The kitchen is a wreck too but I've decided not to worry about it atm. Went for a walk with my mom yesterday, which was nice, though the stress about my grandmother's situation (and thus mine) hasn't been ideal. There's just so much and I don't know what to do. I've hit a point where I'm just shutting down and not doing anything rather than trying to do things that will move me forward. I don't know how to manage that. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
shaar Posted March 29 Report Share Posted March 29 13 minutes ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: There's just so much and I don't know what to do. I've hit a point where I'm just shutting down and not doing anything rather than trying to do things that will move me forward. I don't know how to manage that. This whole entire post resonated with me in a HUGE way, but especially this. I could have written this last year (and probably did at some point) and I hear you loud and clear…. Is there anything that can be done to take anything off your plate and give you a little more breathing room? Burnout is real and dangerous and it can sneak up on you so fast. I gratefully was able to take 3 months of state funded medical leave from my job through my insurance to just… breathe and recoup and catch up and process my life and emotions - I don’t know if that’s an option for you at all or not, but I hope you can find some rest soon. 💕 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 58 Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted March 29 Report Share Posted March 29 4 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: It's... been a hard week. I ran out of my antidepressants on monday. Last night I went to urgent care and got a new prescription to last me until my doctor's appt in May, but also I'm exhausted and struggling with motivation. I think the worst part is how constantly behind I feel. Like I've constantly got a neverending to do list and things like showering and washing my hair keep getting dropped to the bottom. And doing things for me. I just have soooo many priorities and that's not viable. I don't know if it's the depression, the anxiety, or being overcommitted. Either way it's a lot. I've been decent about drinking my water and getting fruits/veggies in. Still haven't cooked because time but I'm coping. The kitchen is a wreck too but I've decided not to worry about it atm. Went for a walk with my mom yesterday, which was nice, though the stress about my grandmother's situation (and thus mine) hasn't been ideal. There's just so much and I don't know what to do. I've hit a point where I'm just shutting down and not doing anything rather than trying to do things that will move me forward. I don't know how to manage that. As Shaar indicated, burnout and grief are real and someone who doesn't struggle with depression/anxiety would likely struggle in a similar way, you are doing so with conditions that make your situation even harder and you ran out of meds. You're having a normal reaction to a not normal situation. I'm sorry things are hard. "Just shutting down and not doing anything" is pretty much a classic depression symptom, as well as an anxiety symptom. The first step is accepting it's ok not to be ok. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted March 30 Author Report Share Posted March 30 On 3/29/2023 at 11:45 AM, shaar said: This whole entire post resonated with me in a HUGE way, but especially this. I could have written this last year (and probably did at some point) and I hear you loud and clear…. Is there anything that can be done to take anything off your plate and give you a little more breathing room? Burnout is real and dangerous and it can sneak up on you so fast. I gratefully was able to take 3 months of state funded medical leave from my job through my insurance to just… breathe and recoup and catch up and process my life and emotions - I don’t know if that’s an option for you at all or not, but I hope you can find some rest soon. 💕 Not right at this point. But I'm working on moving out of my grandmother's house I think; she's just too toxic and it looks like she will be coming home so some of the stresses will be aleviated. I'll have more hands to help with my baby, more hands to help with chores, etc. And more people who can be present with me. Unfortunately I just got done with time off.... it wasn't for burnout, it was for literally birthing a child and I couldn't take any more time financially. Honestly at this point I'm struggling with my time management to the degree that i'm working 6-7 days of the week trying to get 20 hours of work done 21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: As Shaar indicated, burnout and grief are real and someone who doesn't struggle with depression/anxiety would likely struggle in a similar way, you are doing so with conditions that make your situation even harder and you ran out of meds. You're having a normal reaction to a not normal situation. I'm sorry things are hard. "Just shutting down and not doing anything" is pretty much a classic depression symptom, as well as an anxiety symptom. The first step is accepting it's ok not to be ok. I am... going to try to do that. My support system is very minimal right now because my whole family is suffering with all of the stuff wiht my grandmother and my best friend is dealing with her own stuff. And.. that's pretty much the entirety of my support system. Obviously my husband is a great support, but he's going through the stuff with my grandmother with me. He's helping me when he's not working to take things off my plate I just.... it's a struggle. I'm thankful that I'm going to therapy every week honestly. 4 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
shaar Posted March 30 Report Share Posted March 30 I'm glad to hear from you. ❤️❤️ 1 hour ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Honestly at this point I'm struggling with my time management to the degree that i'm working 6-7 days of the week trying to get 20 hours of work done I'm so sorry you're here and gosh again, I hear you so much. I believe in you though, and I know it's dark now, but the sun will come again. I KNOW it will. Promise!! ❤️ And Tank is Very Wise(tm). It was hard for me to admit that it was "ok to not be ok". I think we are just... conditioned to think we can do everything and just keep going, and shoulder trauma and struggles and just keep on going, with a smile on our face and like it hasn't really affected us. But that's so not true and accepting that is huge. I'm so glad you have weekly therapy, that must be such a lifeline for you right now. Sending ALL OF THE GOOD THOUGHTS! Please keep us posted when you have the energy to. 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 58 Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted March 31 Report Share Posted March 31 On 3/29/2023 at 9:24 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: As Shaar indicated, burnout and grief are real and someone who doesn't struggle with depression/anxiety would likely struggle in a similar way, you are doing so with conditions that make your situation even harder and you ran out of meds. You're having a normal reaction to a not normal situation. I'm sorry things are hard. "Just shutting down and not doing anything" is pretty much a classic depression symptom, as well as an anxiety symptom. The first step is accepting it's ok not to be ok. Tank is, as always, both wise and correct. It TRULY is okay to not be okay. You are in the thick of Very Hard Times right now and depression and anxiety make that 1000% times worse. I'm so glad you have weekly therapy. Please practise being kind to yourself. We're here for you 🥰 1 Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 2 Author Report Share Posted April 2 On 3/30/2023 at 3:14 PM, shaar said: I'm glad to hear from you. ❤️❤️ I'm so sorry you're here and gosh again, I hear you so much. I believe in you though, and I know it's dark now, but the sun will come again. I KNOW it will. Promise!! ❤️ And Tank is Very Wise(tm). It was hard for me to admit that it was "ok to not be ok". I think we are just... conditioned to think we can do everything and just keep going, and shoulder trauma and struggles and just keep on going, with a smile on our face and like it hasn't really affected us. But that's so not true and accepting that is huge. I'm so glad you have weekly therapy, that must be such a lifeline for you right now. Sending ALL OF THE GOOD THOUGHTS! Please keep us posted when you have the energy to. Thanks ❤️❤️ I'm really struggling with the slog through the dark some days - it's hard to remember that the light will come back when it's been so long 😕 Honestly true. I had a meltdown the other night and I told Mr. Right "It wasn't supposed to be this hard." When I told my mom, she was like "Yes it is. You're working part time around full time baby care. Most new parents who are working have some form of childcare daily so their attention isn't split like yours is." Which... honestly makes sense. I have no sense of schedule and no sense of safety and I'm trying to juggle being a good wife and a good mom and a good employee and take care of the house and damn it's no wonder I'm drowning. Therapy is very much a lifeline. I go out of my way to make sure that I make time for it and don't skip. It's still early days but it's already nice to just have the space. On 3/31/2023 at 6:58 AM, Rhovaniel said: Tank is, as always, both wise and correct. It TRULY is okay to not be okay. You are in the thick of Very Hard Times right now and depression and anxiety make that 1000% times worse. I'm so glad you have weekly therapy. Please practise being kind to yourself. We're here for you 🥰 Thank you ❤️ i really need to do that. I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on myself until literally yesterday >_> 2 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
Rhovaniel Posted April 2 Report Share Posted April 2 3 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Thanks ❤️❤️ I'm really struggling with the slog through the dark some days - it's hard to remember that the light will come back when it's been so long 😕 Honestly true. I had a meltdown the other night and I told Mr. Right "It wasn't supposed to be this hard." When I told my mom, she was like "Yes it is. You're working part time around full time baby care. Most new parents who are working have some form of childcare daily so their attention isn't split like yours is." Which... honestly makes sense. I have no sense of schedule and no sense of safety and I'm trying to juggle being a good wife and a good mom and a good employee and take care of the house and damn it's no wonder I'm drowning. Therapy is very much a lifeline. I go out of my way to make sure that I make time for it and don't skip. It's still early days but it's already nice to just have the space. Thank you ❤️ i really need to do that. I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on myself until literally yesterday >_> Sometimes, we so in the thick of it, we truly don't see the woods for the trees, as the saying goes. I hope things get easier for you soon, Jedi. 1 Quote “All You Have To Decide Is What To Do With The Time That Is Given To You.” - Gandalf The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Dúnedain Ranger: Volume One: Wintering, Volume Two: Winter is Passing, Spring is Near, The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Volume Three: Reborn into Spring, Rhovaniel Batltes the PEWS (late spring challenge)| Volume Four: Strength in Summer|Volume Five: Ambushed in the Archives (current) Spoiler Previous Challenges: 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13 14| 15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27| 28 29|30 Link to comment
KB Girl Posted April 2 Report Share Posted April 2 The first year with a baby is really intense and hard even without all the other things you're having to deal with- so yes it is no wonder you're not doing ok, and it's ok. You will survive and things will get better! Quote KB Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and an excellent coach 2023 goals tracker; cycling: 1047,7/5000km & reading to my kids: 58/365 days (updated may 1st) my instagram - my gym's instagram Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 3 Author Report Share Posted April 3 17 hours ago, Rhovaniel said: Sometimes, we so in the thick of it, we truly don't see the woods for the trees, as the saying goes. I hope things get easier for you soon, Jedi. 17 hours ago, KB Girl said: The first year with a baby is really intense and hard even without all the other things you're having to deal with- so yes it is no wonder you're not doing ok, and it's ok. You will survive and things will get better! Thank you both so much! I'm trying out a schedule this week so we'll see how that goes both for myself and Baby Jedi. Also, THERAPY TODAY WOOOO 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 4 Author Report Share Posted April 4 Yesterday went better than I thought. Emotionally I wasn't in a great place, but I went through and did my schedule and mostly got everything done - even with Baby Jedi throwing wrenches in things due to excessive exhaustion. I have NO IDEA how to schedule naps >_> None. But we're getting there. Hopefully I can walk up and down the driveway with baby jedi today - it's going to be hella warm and I need the vitamin d. 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
shaar Posted April 4 Report Share Posted April 4 One day at a time my friend. Sometimes that’s the level you’re at and that’s ok!! You got this. 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 58 Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
KB Girl Posted April 4 Report Share Posted April 4 7 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I have NO IDEA how to schedule naps >_> None. But we're getting there. My first baby would only sleep on me for naps, sometimes I could put her down after she'd fallen to sleep, but not very often x) The second one fell asleep in her pram which was much much better! But my first would start non stop crying when I put her in the pram.. 1 Quote KB Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and an excellent coach 2023 goals tracker; cycling: 1047,7/5000km & reading to my kids: 58/365 days (updated may 1st) my instagram - my gym's instagram Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted April 4 Report Share Posted April 4 7 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: have NO IDEA how to schedule naps We didn't have scheduled naps till Little Bit started day school at 1 and a half and then we just used their schedule. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 5 Author Report Share Posted April 5 16 hours ago, shaar said: One day at a time my friend. Sometimes that’s the level you’re at and that’s ok!! You got this. Thanks ❤️ Some days are better than others but I'm getting there. 16 hours ago, KB Girl said: My first baby would only sleep on me for naps, sometimes I could put her down after she'd fallen to sleep, but not very often x) The second one fell asleep in her pram which was much much better! But my first would start non stop crying when I put her in the pram.. Baby Jedi just kinda falls asleep?? Usually in her rocking swing thing. She'll start getting super fussy but I discovered that gentle pressure helps her fall asleep when she's tired. Just a hand with a little pressure on her chest while I rock her and shush. 16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: We didn't have scheduled naps till Little Bit started day school at 1 and a half and then we just used their schedule. That's fair. I don't anticipate that'll be something I do with Baby Jedi just because location and also I'm already home, but my parents or my inlaws take care of her once a week so I can really power through work. 4 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
KB Girl Posted April 5 Report Share Posted April 5 9 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: Baby Jedi just kinda falls asleep?? Usually in her rocking swing thing. She'll start getting super fussy but I discovered that gentle pressure helps her fall asleep when she's tired. Just a hand with a little pressure on her chest while I rock her and shush. Sounds like you're already a pro 1 Quote KB Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and an excellent coach 2023 goals tracker; cycling: 1047,7/5000km & reading to my kids: 58/365 days (updated may 1st) my instagram - my gym's instagram Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 10 Author Report Share Posted April 10 On 4/5/2023 at 5:36 PM, KB Girl said: Sounds like you're already a pro I don't know about all that 😅 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 10 Author Report Share Posted April 10 Wow this past week has been... interesting. I've been hella stressed about my grandmother coming back home (she came back Friday) and I didn't get any exercising in like I wanted. However, I did get myself on some semblance of a schedule. My baby too. I'm really looking forward to therapy today because I've been extremely anxious for the past two days my grandmother has been back. Mostly that she's going to hurt herself again. She seems a lot stronger but she also refuses to comply with medical advice most of the time so yeah. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes A Hero Vol VII: Jedi Keeps Pushing Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, Link to comment
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