[Scaly Freak]

The earthquake finally stops. Scalyfreak stays under the altar until the last aftershocks fade, just in case, but she is eventually forced out into the open by one of the most basic animal needs. Thankfully, the Temple of Iron is outfitted with a large and comfortable bathroom for all visitors to use, and Scalyfreak is all too happy to make use of every fixture in it.

 

Freshly showered, and thinking more clearly as a result, Scalyfreak returns to the altar and the pack with clothing she left there and proceeds to change into a clean outfit. That done, she unpacks her travel rations, her water bottle, and the very lovely-smelling fruit pastries she purchased at that last stop in that charming village, and makes an effort to estimate how long they will last. The water at least is not a problem, thanks to the font behind the altar. In addition to being fed by a stream from up in the mountains above the temple, the font is also connected to a complex system that collects rainwater, to ensure hydration for temple visitors at all times.

 

This is good news, because although the earthquake is over, the storm continues. The wind howls, the hail is pummeling the roof above Scalyfreak, but that is far less of a concern than the small amount of food she has with her.

 

The Temple of Iron is impervious. It will keep any and all danger away from those who visit it, Scalyfreak knows this for a fact. She is not worried, as long as she can remain in the temple There is the small matter of running out of food over the next week or so, but there is water, and water can make the food last.

 

 

Before diving straight this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well:

 

Spoiler

I approach all my challenges as video game quests, with boss fights and level grinding. I have re-framed my anxiety into pyromancy (specifically, the Flame of Anxiety), because it's very destructive when it flares up and gets out of control. But like pyromancy, if the chaos is embraced and can be harnessed, all that energy can be used against against my enemies. In fireball form.

 

Track record in my boss fights so far:

 

• Self-Sabotage drains levels and health, and heals herself with what she drains from her opponent.
  • Current strategy: Run and hide
• Procrastination is good at hiding and then hitting me with a back-stab when I least expect it.
  • Current strategy: Pretend to ignore and deal with her later, while secretly plotting to use the bullet journal calendar thingy to ambush her back.
• Self-Indulgence was gradually convinced it would be easier for her to reach her goals if we worked together. Before the alliance fell apart on its own, Self-Indulgence was viciously killed by a very angry unicorn (that has been seen briefly once of twice since then, but it keeps staying away).
  • Current strategy: Dance on her grave
• Stress-Hydra spawns whenever too many things are happening at once, or when something really big and overwhelming happens, and cutting off one of her seven heads makes no difference because it re-spawns a replacement head almost immediately.
  • Current strategy: The Herakles Method - Ask for help

 

I'm currently dual-classing as a Warrior Druid, because meditation is a great way to quietly build Endurance and Resilience stats while figuring out how to make my need for sleep work with my need to make my body lift things and move and generally be active in a way that builds strength and resilience.

 

Those of you who read my previous challenge know that I very unexpectedly found myself among the casualties of a restructuring and headcount reduction effort at work. That's a complex and polite way of saying I was laid off to save the company money. Now, looking for work is never fun, and looking for work under these circumstances is even less so. It is also, to no one's surprise, incredibly stressful.

 

To add to the stress of finding a new job, I am also dealing with the realization that the job I was asked to leave was gradually burning me out. I think I was too busy to notice, and now that I'm no longer distracted by the daily stressors of the job, it's becoming obvious. So that's an issue that I now have to deal with as well.

 

I'm not going to involve job searching in my challenge goals, at any point in any challenge period. Instead, I'm going to focus these challenges on something more important – taking care of my mental health. This will involve meditating, deliberate movement and/or going outside where the sky is, and also reflecting on the positive things in life. Structured into challenge goals, all of that looks something like this:

 

Activate daily resilience buff

...by meditating every morning. The form of meditation is irrelevant, but for easy tracking will most likely be done with the Insight Timer app.

 

Cast healing spells during the day

...by going outside at least once every day. Going with the Happy Sidekick is preferable, though at her age and with the state of her arthritis, walks with her are too slow and short to count as actual exercise. Because of this, this particular goal can also be met by exercising either at home or at the gym.

 

Apply Regeneration talisman

...in the form of a gratitude journal every evening. I will use this not only to make note of what I appreciate and am grateful for, but also to reflect on what I need to let go of and what I perhaps need to work on. This is a two-phase goal, as the talisman in question has yet to be delivered, largely due to slow shipping. This will be treated as a priority, because the sooner I have the actual journal in hand, the sooner I can get started doing this properly. (While I await the arrival of the talisman journal I plan to use a regular notebook for this goal, since that is better than skipping it, and Therapist #4 sent me a journaling worksheet I can use for prompts.)

[KB Girl]

Always love your intro! Does this mean you will be looking at other types of jobs? Or was it more the circumstances surrounding the job? 
 

8 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

a gratitude journal every evening. I will use this not only to make note of what I appreciate and am grateful for, but also to reflect on what I need to let go of and what I perhaps need to work on.

I hope you’ll love it and that it works well for you! It has been great for me, especially when I do it very consciously. 

[Scaly Freak]

1 hour ago, KB Girl said:

Always love your intro! Does this mean you will be looking at other types of jobs? Or was it more the circumstances surrounding the job? 

 

To be honest I am not sure. I did enjoy my job, but over the past couple of years, it had evolved away from what made me like it in the first place. I have spent a lot of time and energy on trying to figure out what direction I want to take my career, now that I have options. Do I actually really want to pursue certifications in <presumed career advantage> ? Or was I going after that because it was the more appealing of two mediocre options? This is a good opportunity to figure stuff like that out.

 

As for the gratitude journal, I did run into a bit of  a problem. They're all pastel colored and obnoxiously positive and filled with schmaltzy "encouragement" that made me want to hurl. And yes, there is such a thing as anti-gratitude journals, but they are far too negative. If I'm going to use these, I want something that won't give me sugar-overload, but I also want something that actually is positive, just not in a grossly overly pinkish manner.

 

 

Thankfully, Etsy came to my rescue, and an order has been placed.

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

This seems fitting. In every way.

 

 

 

[Harriet]

The pastel chirpy journal sounds terrible and far superior to blank lined journals. They say whatever I want them to say.

... are the fruit pastries real or a metaphor?

[sarakingdom]

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

blank lined journals

 

I, too, have always assumed gratitude journals were writing things about gratitude into ordinary blank lined journals.

[Jean]

Advantage of non-blank gratitude journals: we can be grateful to Etsy for providing us with adequate writing material.

 

I'll be hovering around. Looking forward to shamelessly steal tips from your experience dealing with the realization that the job you had was slowly taking you down. Take heart and take care.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following. Gomez Adams is a much better gratitude/positivity model than many other attempts, and in no way involves pink, other than organic detritus that may occur incidentally. 

[Scaly Freak]

11 hours ago, Harriet said:

... are the fruit pastries real or a metaphor?

 

They are entirely metaphorical. Non-fictional Scaly Freak prefers chocolate in her pastries.  

 

10 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

I, too, have always assumed gratitude journals were writing things about gratitude into ordinary blank lined journals.

 

That's what I'm doing now, actually. The type of gratitude journal I'm wanting to  switch to has writing prompts and various subject categories pre-printed on the pages, which will make it a lot easier for me to focus on the gratitude part of the exercise.  A lot of my recent journaling has been venting on paper, and I want to get away from that and move towards a more positive mindset. The Flame doesn't need any help with negativity.

 

9 hours ago, Jean said:

I'll be hovering around. Looking forward to shamelessly steal tips from your experience dealing with the realization that the job you had was slowly taking you down. Take heart and take care.

 

One tip I can give you immediately is to not wait until you've left your job to realize it.

 

8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following. Gomez Adams is a much better gratitude/positivity model than many other attempts, and in no way involves pink, other than organic detritus that may occur incidentally. 

 

I was actually looking for an Addams Family style journal before finding the one I ended up buying. The 1960's sitcom Addams family especially was adorably cheerful, and that appeals to me right now. Plus, sitcom Gomez and Morticia remain the greatest and healthiest marriage on TV, and considering that show now is nearly 60 years old, that's both impressive and a little depressing.

 

[Mistr]

I am glad you are taking the opportunity to take a broader look at your career options. You have a lot of skills that could be applied in other areas than those of your most recent job.

 

It can also help to write down things you don't want to do. Whether that is driving across town, traveling for work x% of the time, or managing interns. Having your boundaries clear will help the sorting process.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

May the next gratitude journal workout for exactly what you need!

[Sovalis]

Following! Wishing you the perfect notebook!

[XBlackWidowX]

I wish you that it'll go smoothly throw this part of the journey and all the unknown factors and stress won't rock your boat too much! I hate change, but it is often for the better. 

What will you write in your journal? What you're grateful for or something more? Recently I started journaling as well, my husband bought me a notebook for Woman's Day (it's all girly and pink by the way, I think you'd throw it out of the window right away xD) and it came as spontaneous idea, I'm still not sure whether I like it or not. 

[KB Girl]

On 3/30/2023 at 10:55 PM, Scaly Freak said:

The type of gratitude journal I'm wanting to  switch to has writing prompts and various subject categories pre-printed on the pages, which will make it a lot easier for me to focus on the gratitude part of the exercise.  A lot of my recent journaling has been venting on paper, and I want to get away from that and move towards a more positive mindset. The Flame doesn't need any help with negativity.

I am quite curious what those prompts etc are like! 

My journal is indeed blank, I just go with the simple 'what was good about today / what do I want to remember about today if I read this again in a couple years / what am I grateful for that happened today' - so very today focused. I'm guessing yours will be broader. 

[Alanna]

Sorry to hear about the job loss - I hope what you find is a better match in terms of interests and benefits (maybe WFH??), but I know that opportunity doesn't make the current situation any less stressful. And if you get any insights into ways to figure out career goals, I'm all ears .

 

How did week 1 go? 

[Scaly Freak]

On 3/30/2023 at 4:53 PM, Mistr said:

It can also help to write down things you don't want to do. Whether that is driving across town, 

 

No.

 

On 3/30/2023 at 4:53 PM, Mistr said:

traveling for work x% of the time

 

Sure, within reason.

 

On 3/30/2023 at 4:53 PM, Mistr said:

or managing interns

 

Hell no. Absolutely not.

 

On 4/2/2023 at 2:18 PM, Alanna said:

How did week 1 go? 

 

As well as can be expected.

 

Because several of you have asked, behind the spoiler tag is a series of pictures of the Fantastical Talisman of Sarcasm, or FTS for short:

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scaly Freak]

I've been neglecting progress updates. This is a bad thing, because the progress update posts are big part of part of how I hold myself accountable in my challenges. So I need to get back on track with these, and why wait until tomorrow when I can do it today?

 

Tuesday:

 

Activate daily resilience buff

Meditated with morning coffee. Insight Timer says I have a 3-day streak now.

 

Cast healing spells during the day

I have neglected to go outside today. In my defense, it has been extremely windy, and today there was hail as well. However, I studied the sky from behind a window, but that doesn't fully count.

 

Apply regeneration talisman

Took pictures of the talisman's front cover and pages. Wrote my email address on the line by "This journal belongs to __________________ ", and after I've posted this I'm going to reflect on the prompts on the first page, and write responses to them.

[Sovalis]

That is a very excellent book. Thank you for sharing with us. 

[KB Girl]

Definitely like the title of the book :d and the prompts seem useful too! 

[Scaly Freak]

Wednesday:

 

Activate daily resilience buff

Meditated this morning after feeding the sidekicks.

 

Cast healing spells during the day

Had a phone screening/interview that ended right at noon, so we took Happy Sidekick for her daily walk after that. The clouds and wind and rain were gone and there was sun and blue sky and my mental health was purring.

 

Apply regeneration talisman

I have realized that I used my beautiful new talisman incorrectly. By folding the journal over and look only at one page at a time, I missed the fact that each day has two pages -- the one on the left and the one on the right. The left-side page has "shorter" prompts with boxes to write in. The right-hand page has one big prompt and lots of empty space, and the prompts lean towards the more hardcore kind of introspection. Clearly, to get the full benefit of my Fantastical Talisman of Sarcasm I need to use both pages. 

 

7 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Definitely like the title of the book

 

The title is definitely what made me look closer at this journal, and eventually buy it.  

[Harriet]

6 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The right-hand page has one big prompt and lots of empty space, and the prompts lean towards the more hardcore kind of introspection.

 

You have to maximise that gratefulness. Brute force gratitude. Right?

[Mistr]

Yay for an interview and a nice walk!

 

Your journal looks like a great mental health tool.

[KB Girl]

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

The clouds and wind and rain were gone and there was sun and blue sky and my mental health was purring.

It is still completely insane how well this works. If only we could have sun and blue sky and time outside every day, all our problems would melt away. 

Hope the interview went well! 

[Heidi]

On 3/30/2023 at 2:49 AM, Scaly Freak said:

As for the gratitude journal, I did run into a bit of  a problem. They're all pastel colored and obnoxiously positive and filled with schmaltzy "encouragement" that made me want to hurl. And yes, there is such a thing as anti-gratitude journals, but they are far too negative. If I'm going to use these, I want something that won't give me sugar-overload, but I also want something that actually is positive, just not in a grossly overly pinkish manner.

 

UGH! I hate these sorts of journals, both the schmaltzy sickening ones and the polar opposite hyper-poison ones that seem to stoke resentment, not gratitude. Glad you found one that works for you and yes, I love that it’s “for tired-ass people.” ❤️ 

On 3/30/2023 at 2:28 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Therapist #4 sent me a journaling worksheet I can use for prompts.

I’m very interested in this. Does it help? What’s on it?

 

I believe in you.

[Alanna]

Hope the interview went well!

 

Thank you for sharing your journal - and I enjoy your PG reworking of the FTS initialism.