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Emma: overwhelmed

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Went in for a routine checkup. Doctor took my pulse and called 911. Damn it. Spent entire day in ER. They gave me some meds that didn’t work. Then shocked me twice. That didn’t work either. They gave me another pill and said go home good luck. Still in afib now. Made the mistake of telling my family I was in ER (like I’m supposed to?). They were freaking out and I was really annoyed by that. Except youngest, he considered this his semi weekly phone call and was updating me on his life and I was feeling really crappy and didn’t want to hear it right then. From now on they don’t get the news until afterward because I just don’t want to deal with them.
So guess what brought on this particular episode of irregular heartbeat?  Exercise. That’s right. I was trying to be good and increase my level of exercise and ended up in afib. I tried the same thing last week twice. Same result. Only I didn’t end up in the ER because I didn’t tell my doctor. Those episodes resolved on their own after about twenty four hours. So the thing that is supposed to help me (according to the doctors) is the thing that puts me in the hospital. Damn it.

 My sister said I shouldn’t tell my boss but I’m not so sure about this. He knows I’m having health problems (Hey boss, sorry I can’t work today because I’m in the ER). I had to ask for medical leave for the surgery. However, he thinks I’m going to all fixed up and good as new after the surgery. But I won’t be.  Afib is progressive and just keeps getting worse. No matter what. There is no cure. There is no getting better.  Afib on its own is not fatal but greatly increases your risk of stroke. The hope is the surgery will slow down the progress, but it won’t stop it. I will still be restricted in my activities (overtime is the bugaboo for me at work). Maybe I’ll wait till after the surgery and tell him it didn’t go well.

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