[Scaly Freak]

Something has changed. The ground is no longer shaking, walls of the temple is no longer rattling, and the storm appears to have slowed down. Even the rain is letting up. Cautiously, careful not to expose herself to any surprise attacks, Scalyfreak slowly pulls the temple door open an peers out at a world that looks very different. The earthquakes have changed the outline of the horizon. Where the forest stood previously, now sits a valley, and the small lake has drained and looks like it's well on its way to becoming a bog.

 

The stream that supplies the temple with fresh water has by some miracle escaped unscathed... in fact, everything close to the temple is entirely undamaged. The rest of the world however, is irrevocably changed. Old maps no longer apply.

 

Or do they? The world has changed, it hasn't been recreated. The forest sunk into a valley, but the forest is still there. The lake slowly turning into a bog is still technically a body of water, of a kind, in the same location.

 

Scalyfreak sits down on the steps by the temple's front door, spreads there old map across her lap, and begins scribbling notes around all the map details visible around her.

 

 

Before diving straight this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well:

 

Spoiler

I approach all my challenges as video game quests, with boss fights and level grinding. I have re-framed my anxiety into pyromancy (specifically, the Flame of Anxiety), because it's very destructive when it flares up and gets out of control. But like pyromancy, if the chaos is embraced and can be harnessed, all that energy can be used against against my enemies. In fireball form.

 

Track record in my boss fights so far:

 

• Self-Sabotage drains levels and health, and heals herself with what she drains from her opponent.
  • Current strategy: Run and hide
• Procrastination is good at hiding and then hitting me with a back-stab when I least expect it.
  • Current strategy: Ignore; deal with her later.
• Self-Indulgence was gradually convinced it would be easier for her to reach her goals if we worked together. Before the alliance fell apart on its own, Self-Indulgence was viciously killed by a very angry unicorn (that has been seen briefly once of twice since then, but it keeps staying away).
  • Current strategy: Dance on her grave
• Stress-Hydra spawns whenever too many things are happening at once, or when something really big and overwhelming happens, and cutting off one of her seven heads makes no difference because it re-spawns a replacement head almost immediately.
  • Current strategy: The Herakles Method - Ask for help

 

I'm currently dual-classing as a Warrior Druid, because meditation is a great way to quietly build Endurance and Resilience stats while figuring out how to make my need for sleep work with my need to make my body lift things and move and generally be active in a way that builds strength and resilience. 

 

I am late to this challenge period because I chose to face Procrastination on other battle fields than this one during Week 1 and Zero Week. I'm fine with ceding this particular ground to her, in exchange for victory against her in every area related to the new job that I start tomorrow (=Monday of Week 2).

 

Starting a new job means boss fight against Stress-Hydra, and that in turn means preparing diligently and pay attention to buffs and healing during the battle. It also means going back to the basics, which works out very nicely for me since that's what I was doing last challenge. 

 

Activate daily resilience buff in the morning

...by meditating every morning. The Insight Timer app will provide guided meditation tracks and (of course) a timer for this.
 

Cast healing spells during the day

...by going outside at least once every day. Going with the Happy Sidekick is preferable, though at her age and with the state of her arthritis, walks with her are too slow and short to count as actual exercise. However, the purpose of this walk isn't exercise. This walk is done for mental health reasons.

 
Apply Regeneration talisman in the evening

I have three different talismans to choose from, and only one is required to meet this goal.
1. FTS - Fantastical Talisman of Sarcasm – a very snarky gratitude journal with pre-printed prompts
2. WTF - Wondrous Talisman of Fire-fighting – a regular lined notebook, that I use with worksheets helpfully provided to me by the therapist I worked with for the past couple of months.
3. ETC - Exhausting Talisman of Cardio – an elliptical, strategically placed at a near-perfect viewing angle to the TV in the living room. 

 

 

 

[Harriet]

Oh wow, you found a new job already. I hope it will be a nice environment with good people and conditions. Best wishes for your first day.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along.

[Sovalis]

Following as well! 

[Heidi]

Woohoo for snark journals, outside time, and meditation.  

Looking forward to cheering you on as you enter the new job.

Sending you blessing on your Day 1!
🦋

[Mistr]

You've got this! 

 

You have been through similar boss fights before and won, you know what to do.

 

I hope your new job is a big step up from your previous job. 🤠

[KB Girl]

Hope your first day went well!

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

I hope your new job is a big step up from your previous job. 🤠

 

The salary certainly is. The company culture as well, if the way they welcome new hires on Day 1 was any indication.

 

1 hour ago, KB Girl said:

Hope your first day went well!

 

Very well, thank you. I successfully stayed awake through nearly six hours of mandatory online courses in how to avoid harassing my coworkers and why it's bad to click on links in weird-looking emails.

[Sovalis]

1 minute ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

The salary certainly is. The company culture as well, if the way they welcome new hires on Day 1 was any indication.

 

 

Very well, thank you. I successfully stayed awake through nearly six hours of mandatory online courses in how to avoid harassing my coworkers and why it's bad to click on links in weird-looking emails.

Oh man, I was that guy who clicked the weird link once. It was a bad scene. I don’t think I will ever live it down in that circle. 

 

Glad things look good at the start!

[XBlackWidowX]

hey, great to see you!!

 

Hoorey for a better salary!

 

9 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I successfully stayed awake through nearly six hours of mandatory online courses in how to avoid harassing my coworkers a

What did you learn? xD

 

On 5/15/2023 at 12:47 PM, Scaly Freak said:

Starting a new job means boss fight against Stress-Hydra, and that in turn means preparing diligently and pay attention to buffs and healing during the battle.

I can relate to it very much, I'm gonna start a new job soon and I already feel the pressure.

 

Very reasonable approach and goals! Following!

[Heidi]

12 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Oh man, I was that guy who clicked the weird link once. It was a bad scene. I don’t think I will ever live it down in that circle. 

I was the librarian doing a "how to internet" demo and typed the wrong whitehouse URL in the 1995.

Yep, they still talk about that.  

 

Very glad that both culture and salary are a step up. 

You deserve good things.

❤️ 

[KB Girl]

19 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Very well, thank you. I successfully stayed awake through nearly six hours of mandatory online courses in how to avoid harassing my coworkers and why it's bad to click on links in weird-looking emails.

That sounds boring but not a bad idea x) 

I’m glad! Hope your second day was equally promising!

[Scaly Freak]

18 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

What did you learn? xD

 

That two full hours of anti-harassment training could have been one single slide with one single statement across the screen:  "Don't be a dick to people at work"

 

8 hours ago, KB Girl said:

That sounds boring but not a bad idea x) 

I’m glad! Hope your second day was equally promising!

 

Well, the people part definitely was. Today was anti-trust and anti-bribery training, and accessibility of information training.

 

Monday update:

 

Activate daily resilience buff in the morning

Meditated while sipping coffee and listening Happy Sidekick chewing her breakfast very loudly. It's nice to have a structure around my daily routines again. I missed it, and I didn't realize how much it helped.
 

Cast healing spells during the day

Lunch break walk with Happy Sidekick and Husband. Happy Sidekick needed less than one day of my work-day-morning routine followed by my going upstairs for several hours, to figure out what was going on. When I came downstairs by 11:30-ish, she was huddled at the foot of the stairs, grinning and vibrating with impatience over the upcoming walk. She's thrilled to have her routine back too.

 
Apply Regeneration talisman in the evening

Wrote in FTS before going to bed. It has remained on the headboard of the bed, and it's still working out well.

 

The Fantastical Talisman of Sarcasm surprised me with a poem last night:

 

The Guest House

 

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

 

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

 

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

 

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

 

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

 

*Rumi*

[Scaly Freak]

 

[Heidi]

8 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

It's nice to have a structure around my daily routines again. I missed it, and I didn't realize how much it helped.

I'm so glad you have structure and routine back, and that it's working for you (and Sidekick ). I like this for you. I have the same releationship with having a map of my day. 

8 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

*Rumi*

So much love for Rumi, generally, and this poem in particular. What a lovely addition to your day.

[KB Girl]

Love the poem! Wise words. 

[Scaly Freak]

Tuesday update:

 

Activate daily resilience buff in the morning - Yes, meditated
 

Cast healing spells during the day

Lunch break walk with Happy Sidekick, while Husband waited around for the sprinkler company to come out and repair things for us.

 
Apply Regeneration talisman in the evening

Forgot. 😒 In my defense, the Lakers-Nuggets game was extremely frustrating and disappointing.

[Scaly Freak]

 

[Harriet]

On 5/17/2023 at 5:39 AM, Scaly Freak said:

 

That two full hours of anti-harassment training could have been one single slide with one single statement across the screen:  "Don't be a dick to people at work"

 

For those who aren't inclined to harass others, it's probably not necessary, and for those who are determined to harass others, it's probably not sufficient. Although there  may be a class of people who will harass only if they sense they can get away with it, so I guess the training has the purpose of communicating the company's culture and values to said in-between types.

 

On 5/17/2023 at 5:39 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Well, the people part definitely was. Today was anti-trust and anti-bribery training, and accessibility of information training.

 

You can't take bribes? Terrible. TERRIBLE. How will you extract a cake tithe under these oppressive conditions?

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

19 minutes ago, Harriet said:

For those who aren't inclined to harass others, it's probably not necessary, and for those who are determined to harass others, it's probably not sufficient. Although there  may be a class of people who will harass only if they sense they can get away with it, so I guess the training has the purpose of communicating the company's culture and values to said in-between types.

 

Any of that is a happy side effect. They make those videos for legal reasons, so they can say they are doing something, and can point back to the videos when they have to get rid of someone who violates the policy.

[sarakingdom]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Any of that is a happy side effect. They make those videos for legal reasons, so they can say they are doing something, and can point back to the videos when they have to get rid of someone who violates the policy.

 

A major part of it is a legal CYA, true. It's "you can't say we didn't tell you clearly".

 

But it has come to my attention lately that there are in fact a lot of people who reach adulthood with experientially skewed ideas of normal, permissible, consent, etc.

 

(CW: SA)

Spoiler

For instance, there are a lot of people who do not realize that something a partner or acquaintance did to them was rape or sexual assault until many years later, when they take a course that includes types of coercion,  lack of consent, etc. (And I'm certain there are similarly people who don't realize what they did was rape or sexual assault until years later, but, strangely, they don't tend to volunteer that information.) It's so normalized in a lot of people's lives that they genuinely don't know.

 

So I'm 100% sure there are people who learn that something they genuinely thought was fine and normal (whether or not it's something they'd do) is in fact considered harassment. I don't understand it, but I'm certain it's true. Either way, you learn the consensus professional behavior expectations somewhere, and it's often from this form of training. If people read the manual, you wouldn't need the training, but people do not read the manual.

 

 

It can also be surprising how much of American culture runs on "everyone should just toughen up and take it" over "do not do abusive things". For a lot of people, the mindset that the victim is by default to blame runs so deep that they can't even see it's there. That's the dark side of the "rugged individualism" mythos; the concept of a behavioural obligation to others can feel genuinely foreign. Learning that that is not the professional expectation being placed on them can be... either new, or full of cognitive dissonance. The idea that verbal conflict is not inherently the fault of the person who felt harmed, and in many situations will not be treated by the company as the fault of the person who felt harmed, can genuinely be new.

[Mistr]

3 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

But it has come to my attention lately that there are in fact a lot of people who reach adulthood with experientially skewed ideas of normal, permissible, consent, etc.

 

(CW: SA)

  Reveal hidden contents

For instance, there are a lot of people who do not realize that something a partner or acquaintance did to them was rape or sexual assault until many years later, when they take a course that includes types of coercion,  lack of consent, etc. (And I'm certain there are similarly people who don't realize what they did was rape or sexual assault until years later, but, strangely, they don't tend to volunteer that information.) It's so normalized in a lot of people's lives that they genuinely don't know.

 

So I'm 100% sure there are people who learn that something they genuinely thought was fine and normal (whether or not it's something they'd do) is in fact considered harassment. I don't understand it, but I'm certain it's true. Either way, you learn the consensus professional behavior expectations somewhere, and it's often from this form of training. If people read the manual, you wouldn't need the training, but people do not read the manual.

 

It can also be surprising how much of American culture runs on "everyone should just toughen up and take it" over "do not do abusive things". For a lot of people, the mindset that the victim is by default to blame runs so deep that they can't even see it's there. That's the dark side of the "rugged individualism" mythos; the concept of a behavioural obligation to others can feel genuinely foreign. Learning that that is not the professional expectation being placed on them can be... either new, or full of cognitive dissonance. The idea that verbal conflict is not inherently the fault of the person who felt harmed, and in many situations will not be treated by the company as the fault of the person who felt harmed, can genuinely be new.

 

This is true. My BFF is a lawyer and handles HR training for a state agency. She reports that people have to be taught the standards of professional interaction. For example, you must say "hello" to your coworkers. You do not have to like them, but you must be civil to them. She has had to add more and more detail to explain what "civil behavior" means. The employees being trained have at least a high school education (some have much more) and these are office jobs. It turns out that we cannot assume anyone has similar standards of "don't be a dick".

[KB Girl]

3 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

So I'm 100% sure there are people who learn that something they genuinely thought was fine and normal (whether or not it's something they'd do) is in fact considered harassment.

Yea, same with other unacceptable behaviour like casual racism. Many don't even realise that is what they're doing. 

[Scaly Freak]

9 hours ago, Harriet said:

You can't take bribes? Terrible. TERRIBLE. How will you extract a cake tithe under these oppressive conditions?

 

Easily. A tithe is by definition not a bribe. It's a service fee.

 

6 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

(CW: SA)

  Reveal hidden contents

For instance, there are a lot of people who do not realize that something a partner or acquaintance did to them was rape or sexual assault until many years later, when they take a course that includes types of coercion,  lack of consent, etc. (And I'm certain there are similarly people who don't realize what they did was rape or sexual assault until years later, but, strangely, they don't tend to volunteer that information.) It's so normalized in a lot of people's lives that they genuinely don't know.

 

So I'm 100% sure there are people who learn that something they genuinely thought was fine and normal (whether or not it's something they'd do) is in fact considered harassment. I don't understand it, but I'm certain it's true. Either way, you learn the consensus professional behavior expectations somewhere, and it's often from this form of training. If people read the manual, you wouldn't need the training, but people do not read the manual.

 

 

It can also be surprising how much of American culture runs on "everyone should just toughen up and take it" over "do not do abusive things". For a lot of people, the mindset that the victim is by default to blame runs so deep that they can't even see it's there. That's the dark side of the "rugged individualism" mythos; the concept of a behavioural obligation to others can feel genuinely foreign. Learning that that is not the professional expectation being placed on them can be... either new, or full of cognitive dissonance. The idea that verbal conflict is not inherently the fault of the person who felt harmed, and in many situations will not be treated by the company as the fault of the person who felt harmed, can genuinely be new.

 

New, and insulting to some personality types, who immediately will feel offended and insulted. Thankfully they don't tend to last long in organizations with a sane and healthy workplace culture.

 

 And yes, this is hopefully a stronger reason for anti-harassment training, than CYA.

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

 

This is true. My BFF is a lawyer and handles HR training for a state agency. She reports that people have to be taught the standards of professional interaction. For example, you must say "hello" to your coworkers. You do not have to like them, but you must be civil to them. She has had to add more and more detail to explain what "civil behavior" means. The employees being trained have at least a high school education (some have much more) and these are office jobs. It turns out that we cannot assume anyone has similar standards of "don't be a dick".

 

Very true. The training had well-written videos with good actors, demonstrating examples of harassment. (They switched to highly stylized cartoons for the sexual harassment part. Thankfully.)

 

One example of they gave of other kinds of harassment, was to show two coworkers who were sitting in the breakroom, speculating about why another co-worker was out of the office again. The woman commented that "Andrew" has been missing a lot of work ever since "Dylan" was given nothing but a light warning for harassing him. The man she was talking to expressed sympathy for Andrew, but then proceeded to suggest Andrew needs to learn to live with what's not going to change and not be so sensitive. At this point, Dylan walks past and makes a very insensitive joke about Andrew's (much higher) age, and the other two laugh at the joke.

 

The "let's review this now" segment after the video was pretty clear that in a healthy organization with a functional HR department, all three of these people are guilty of harassment. The woman for gossiping, the man for victim-blaming someone who is being harassed, and obviously Dylan for harassing someone. And yes, the other two would also be on the hook for laughing at Dylan's joke.

 

I'll spare you details about the video of the delivery man who keeps asking the lobby receptionist on a date and won't listen when she keeps saying no, because that one was flat out creepy.

 

3 hours ago, KB Girl said:

Yea, same with other unacceptable behaviour like casual racism. Many don't even realise that is what they're doing. 

 

Or how it impacts people around them.

[Scaly Freak]

Wednesday update:

 

Activate daily resilience buff in the morning - Meditated in the morning
 

Cast healing spells during the day - Lunch break walk with Happy Sidekick and Husband.

 
Apply Regeneration talisman in the evening - Did not forget again. Fantastical Talisman of Sarcasm was applied.