[Rhovaniel]

The Chronicles of Rhovaniel, Vol IV: Strength in Summer

 

Spring feels like it was a hurried breath after the long toil of winter. Summer is already here, and I am honestly – excited. Ready for the adventures ahead.

Okay, let's recap:

Spring Goals: Run consistently w/out pain| Complete StrongViking| Reduce BW to 3kg (77kg)| Read stock book| Consistently meal prep| Finish Thesis writing| Sort out nosebleed issue | Complete 100km canoe adventure!!

 

Well, that didn’t go to plan.

 

Fitness, running, meal prep, weight loss… that went poorly. StrongViking is this weekend and I am unfit and scared. I have read minimal amounts of the stock book. At least the nosebleeds stopped. 

 

I did achieve the big one, the 100 km canoe trip through Scotland, despite the unexpected challenges, particularly mental. PTSD is a beast I shall I have to do battle with time and time again. I used to think I had beaten the boss battle, but it respawns, depending on the stressors and situations. That is what it is. It just means I also need to keep improving and growing so I can see it’s tricks and beat it down every time. The important thing is that it I did not let it stop me. And I am learning to be more open with people, in explaining the situation so if something happens, they aren't thinking I'm having an asthma attack or a cardiac event (which is what the poor canoe guide thought for a moment there!) I do not need to feel embarrassed about my condition. It is not my fault and the guilt is entirely a product of the trauma itself. (This is a work in progress, I wouldn't say I'm there yet. My default reaction to a panic attack is still to a) run and find somewhere with no one around and b ) try to act like it isn't happening and hope I can control it before anyone notices. B has never yet worked). 

 

But on to more positive things. 

 

I took some time to think on the Summer Goals. I don’t want a list of things that I fail to do again, but also not so easy that it’s almost a given. Luckily, it also coincides with my experimental New Year* and I am hoping that the double dose of motivation will be enough to form the habit enough to let momentum and grit carry me the rest of the way. I have some ideas, something that gives me direction and also Very Good Feelings, but you'll have to wait for those...  

 

*Today is my birthday and, as every year, I got the itch to make some changes and set better long term goals. So, I figured rather than hope that I get the same motivation around the busy time of Christmas and New Year, I’d give it a go making today my personal New Year and set goals for the year ahead.

 

So, what ARE these goals, I hear you ask? Well. For the Summer Challenge, I shall summarise at the Equinox. Which is my way of saying they’re not finalised yet BUT, my New Year Goals are:

 

🌹Earn my Masters by Research degree

🌹Go solo camping at least twice

🌹Read at least one chapter of a book every day

🌹Reach 70 - 75kg in bodyweight

🌹Go on another week long adventure or expedition and plan another for the next year

🌹Go on at least 10 different hikes

🌹Consistently work out 4-5x a week 

🌹Have PhD study plans in place

🌹 Find a rhythm of Home Maintenance that works for me

🌹Break my reliance on fast food and junk (chocolate)

🌹Consistently keep a journal

 

By 12 June 2024, my aim is to have completed them all.

 

[Elastigirl]

Cheering you on!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Happy Birthday!

[Sovalis]

Happy, happy birthday, Rho! Great goals and I am here to cheer you on as ever! 🥳🥳🥳

[Rhovaniel]

8 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Cheering you on!

 

8 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Happy Birthday!

 

5 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Happy, happy birthday, Rho! Great goals and I am here to cheer you on as ever! 🥳🥳🥳

 

Thank you! I used to get really quite down about my birthday. I remember hating turning 16, then 17... 20 was a hard one. It was odd, but I had the worst sense of time just slipping away from me and leaving me behind. I'm much better with them now, even if I don't do a big celebration. 

 

It was quite late when I got done posting and realised that I hadn't actually posted my Challenge goals... oops. To be fair, they are bite-sized chunks of the New Year Goals, but posting them anyway:

 

🌅 Be up by 5.30 - 6am: If I don't get up, I will daydream, doze and do nothing productive with my early morning before I have to go to work. Which includes the gym. I want to go to the gym. Therefore I need to get back into the habit of getting up with my alarm and not multiple snoozes. For this, I think I will go back to putting my phone alarm on the other side of the room. 

 

🍃Daily Walk of any duration: This one is as much mental, or more so, than it is physical. Walking is the one thing that consistently helps with whatever I am going through. If I don't walk, I get antsy. Walking is also how I manage much of my mental wellbeing. Therefore, setting it as a goal helps cement it as a priority. 

 

🍔No Junk Food: This is the habit I most need to break, and so the aim is to not have takeout, or binge on chocolate, sweets, etc. Treats are okay in context (a gathering, celebration, etc). Treats because the Theatre team have decided to all bring in cakes and waffles and whipped coffee is not okay. Headed to the drive thru because I don't have food prepped at home is also not okay. 

 

👩‍🎓 Minimum 30minutes study time a day: This is the only way these edits are going to get done!

 

📖Read one chapter of any book a day: Ambitious, but as it is 'any' book, if I need it to, this can include the books I am using for my dissertation. 

 

🏋️‍♀️Work out at least 4x a week: This can be anything, the goal is to set the habits and rebuild my foundation. Running, strength training, climbing (I went for the first time in years over the weekend and I'd like to go more. Right now, I can climb a solid... V0 😛)  

 

✍️ Journal Entry: Write one. Daily. 

 

 

 

 

Zero Week

Monday: 🌅🍃🏋️‍♀️ 

 

 

The above is not... great. But it was my birthday, so I'm allowing myself the junk food (beer, pizza and chocolate!), but I got to have a plan for D&D nights. I didn't get round to journaling or reading, though I ran in the morning and took a quick mile walk before bed. Today will be better. 

[DarK_RaideR]

Happy belated birthday!

[Rhovaniel]

On 6/13/2023 at 12:01 PM, DarK_RaideR said:

Happy belated birthday!

Thank you!

 

 

 

Friends, I am in a frazzle. Shirts I ordered for the group to run in on Saturday are stuck in a mail centre. Shipping times were clearly too optimistic and it looks like they won't arrive by the time I fly. Which is infuriating and I am trying not to feel the weight of guilt about it, to much. I should have thought about getting shirts ages ago, not with less than a month to go. But alas. Here we are. It is a good lesson in being more organised, and also - maybe - trying to give myself grace and forgiveness when I mess up. 

 

It's been the main 'chewing on my brain' thing for the last few days, but I am trying to just... roll with the punches. I cannot do anything right now. I can go to the MC and hope I get a kind-hearted person who will let me pick up the parcel direct, but I doubt it. I can but try. Other than that, I will have to run without. I might use my bright yellow mudstacle shirt I guess, since that is what I ran in for RRDW when we ran it together with Willes. But damn if I didn't want to run in a shirt that said 'I'm running for Willy'  

 

Yesterday, I did manage some goals, at least:

 

Zero Week:

Monday 🌅🍃🏋️‍

Tuesday 🍃🍔👩‍🎓📖✍️

 

The journal entry was two frazzled sentences, but the effort was made and it's about the habit. The junk food is washy: I didn't eat the best, but I didn't binge and I didn't get takeout. I made minimal progress with my dissertation, but it was around a half hour, maybe a little more. 

[DarK_RaideR]

44 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

and also - maybe - trying to give myself grace and forgiveness when I mess up. 

A very, very important lesson.

[Salinger]

Hey Rho ❤️ happy belated birthday !!

 

I would defo try to speak to someone at the mail place! Ill cross everything for you xx

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

Hi! Here to say hello ❤️ I also have a journalling goal this go-round

[Rhovaniel]

On 6/14/2023 at 10:52 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

A very, very important lesson.

One I am struggling with, but I am learning. 

 

On 6/14/2023 at 11:45 AM, Salinger said:

Hey Rho ❤️ happy belated birthday !!

 

I would defo try to speak to someone at the mail place! Ill cross everything for you xx

Sadly, they did not have my parcel. It arrived.... a few hours after I left for the airport and I am very annoyed and sad. 

 

3 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Hi! Here to say hello ❤️ I also have a journalling goal this go-round

Jedi! Good to see you here! 

 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

So how are things going? Can't just hear about the trip and race from @Jarric's thread

[Rhovaniel]

8 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

So how are things going? Can't just hear about the trip and race from @Jarric's thread

Full race report will be incoming but we survived and it was amazing!

[Salinger]

Hey Rho, how are you doing? xx

[Rhovaniel]

On 6/23/2023 at 9:41 AM, Salinger said:

Hey Rho, how are you doing? xx

I'm good! Thanks for checking in, Sal

 

So, decided to start tracking challenge things from Monday, seeing as much of this week I was still in the Netherlands. And in holiday mode. Also, looking at the goals I set before the trip... I might make some adjustments. This is my Summer of Strength, after all. And the Equinox has been and gone, so it is high time for my Equinox Goals to commence, to see me through until the Autumn. Which is NUTS, considering it feels like only a challenge or two ago I started this whole 'Year of living in closer alignment to the seasons' theme. I will finalise these tonight. 

 

The trip itself was fantastic. Only a little emotional, at the start, the reason we went and everything. But it was wonderful, too. I drank way too much on the first night and woke up very hungover the next day, so the morning was spent in recovery mode! Thankfully I was okay by the evening, so race day should not have been an issue... aside from the anxiety issues that ramped up over 'Meeting new people' (friends of Willy's) and also Scary Obstacles (Fjord Drop, the Ice water one) and Insecurity over my Fitness (Not trained properly, knowing I'd be the weakest one of the group and unused to the distance). Made for some unpleasant gastric unease as well as the mental demons. Nausea is part of what I deal with before most races, but it does not usually translate to running for the bathroom to retch. The next few days I also had to deal with a fair bit of nausea/unsettled stomach stuff, which I think can be put down to 'anxiety hangover' . In fact, I bloated so bad on race day that my race shorts felt like they were cutting me in two. Yes, I do need to lose weight, but I had tried them on before I packed them so I know it was a bloat issue. Well, that and they are compression shorts, meaning they were altogether not a good choice for someone whose anxiety hits her stomach. I can and will work on that, because that DID affect my enjoyment of the trip a little. I resorted to my running shorts I barely wear (I had a half baked idea to go on a run in Dordrecht) and they were shorter than I usually feel comfortable in, adding to the Insecurity issue. It was okay. The only time I thought 'crap, these are too short and I'm gonna hurt myself with friction going down this thing' was Fjord drop. And honestly, that was just something concrete the fear could grab hold of. Much like my fear at Nuclear is that I will somehow fall onto the metal channels that separate each lane and rip something, like my leggings. Or flesh.

 

The race was really, really good. Fun, I did more obstacles than I feared, it wasn't too technical... we ran as a group, and was told in no uncertain terms that they would not be leaving me behind.  Which was awesome of them. The lack of Willes' shirts was a bummer, but that was sadly out of my hands. The guys were all awesome. Alberto, despite nursing a freaking ankle sprain from the day before, kept checking in, making sure I was okay. The first obstacle was a big old wall, and a smaller one next to it. I opted for the smaller one, fearing my strength. Stopped to give another woman ahead of me a boost, and then jumped it myself. I forgot all the technique stuff about foot placement and just used my torso as a pivot point once I got that far. Bad, bad idea. There were a few such wall obstacles that I tackled all as inelegantly and inefficiently as the first.  I managed to bruise my rib area and for three or four days, it hurt just walking, which definitely dampened my holiday plans, if not my mood. By Tuesday, it was intense enough after a day of sightseeing in Dordrecht the day before that I left Jarric to explore Rotterdam alone and spent the day mostly at the airbnb. Which was no bad thing, really. The sun was shining, the garden was large, there was a lovely spot I found to spread a blanket, read my book and sunbathe a little. I was also a little bit over-socialised I think and the down time helped recharge my social mana . Wandered very slowly into town for lunch. Reading was a great win on the trip, actually. It was nice to have many quiet hours to spend in the company of books. I finished one that I picked up at the airport and got a fair chunk of the way through another one. But I am off on a tangent. Back to the race! There was, off the top of my head, a rope climb. I did the shorter length, which was fine because, with my height, all I needed was one movement and a big reach for the bell.  A couple of swim sections that were super refreshing and fun. A couple silly things to goof around with, like some kind of knock the other person off the podium thing. Given my balance, I am surprised I stayed on long enough to even attempt to whack Jarric off his perch. He won, of course.  A heavy sandbag carry had a big queue, so time to recover for that one. Many obstacles had a big queue, actually. It worked in my favour, but I could see it being frustrating. Jarric picked up a log instead of a bag and did an excellent job of not hitting me with it! 

 

Fjord Drop, as I mentioned, was the big one I was afraid of. Thankfully, it came up not too far into the race, definitely before the halfway point I think. I remember we were wading across the water of this lake out to it and seeing all those stairs to climb first. And realised that I needed to shut my brain down, or I'd talk myself into a corner or worse, let it dissolve into actual panic. I just focused on climbing up with everyone else, emptying my brain until I was at the top and pushing away the fear. Once I sat down ( I had told the marshal I was terrified because guys that was HIGH and I was not as good as being zen as I was attempting to be) it was past the point of no return anyway. I just pictured Willes, right ahead of me, reminded myself why I was here and did not look down. The marshal gave me a shove, my folded position collapsed (arms behind head, legs crossed) and I went down sort of like a starfish, giving out a resounding war cry as I went.* It was a good feeling when I hit the water and knew I had done it, though. Euphoria, triumph. Slightly ow as I did not hit the water gracefully. My flailing had given me whiplash, but I wouldn't discover that one until the next day, when the stiffness and pain in my lower back eased  Soon after that was the Ice Man, the water dunk where you have to submerge yourself in the ice water and out the other side of a board. But thankfully, the hot day meant that it wasn't such a bad thing and the water felt merely cold, not insanely freezing. Felt a little like I cheated, because it wasn't much of a big deal. Two deep breaths to calm myself, under and out and it was actually quite refreshing. Of course, running when the temp was around 27 or 28 degrees helped (Celsius, google tells me that is around 82.4 F). The mud trenches were a lot of fun, too.  Got a couple of good race photos from that segment too, which I shall edit into this post... ta da! 

 

 

 

*Others may have interpreted this as a 'high pitched scream of terror' but this is, of course, nonsense. Ha. As if. 

It was definitely a scream

 

 

 

I definitely love running these things in a group rather than solo. And there is already talk of going next year. I will hopefully be fitter, and maaaybe using better technique on walls and such.

 

And, of course, our finisher photo. 

 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Well done on the race and conquering anxiety, proud of you.

[Sovalis]

That sounds like such a mental, emotional, and physical accomplishment! Congratulations!!! 

[Jarric]

You did amazingly on this race Rho - so impressed with you, particularly how you got through Fjord Drop and Ice Man.

[SkyGirl]

Dude you are so incredibly strong and incredible!!! Way to go!!!  ❤️❤️❤️ 

[Rhovaniel]

On 6/23/2023 at 6:26 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Well done on the race and conquering anxiety, proud of you.

 

On 6/23/2023 at 6:37 PM, Sovalis said:

That sounds like such a mental, emotional, and physical accomplishment! Congratulations!!! 

 

On 6/24/2023 at 3:24 PM, Jarric said:

You did amazingly on this race Rho - so impressed with you, particularly how you got through Fjord Drop and Ice Man.

 

On 6/24/2023 at 10:18 PM, SkyGirl said:

Dude you are so incredibly strong and incredible!!! Way to go!!!  ❤️❤️❤️ 

 

Thank you so much guys. It felt good to finish it, though I definitely want to go back fitter and stronger and leaner next year! 

 

 

I - haven't done so well on goals to start the week. Honestly, they are good goals but not quite where I am right now. All of my focus is on finishing this Masters. I am close, but not quite there. I can't see the finish line, but I can hear the fanfare from where I am. I bet there's a hill or another loop of the course to go before I'm done though. 

I am determined not to crash out of the challenge this early though. This does mean cutting some goals and making some changes but, honestly, I need the win after the wash of last challenge and the way I currently feel. Daily goals will help me keep centred, and maybe, judt maybe, showing up here a little more often. So, my goals till the end of this challenge will simply be:

 

🌅 Be up by 5.30 - 6am: This stays, because it is the only way I shall get to the gym. The time frame is because I adore my kitty snuggles of a morning. Setting two alarms means that we get snuggles and I don't fall back to sleep!

 

🍃Daily Walk of any duration: This one is as much mental, or more so, than it is physical. So, it stays BUT I have permission to relax mileage. I was starting to get into the headspace of 'doesn't really count if it's only a mile'. Of course it counts. 

 

🍔No Junk Food: Ideally, this would be calorie counts and tracking progress. But I can only juggle so much at one time. So, cutting junk will force my dinner to be healthier at least, and I can work on the rest when I have the headspace for it. Also, I'm on day 2 of no chocolate and jeeezzzzz... the cravings. They strong. 

 

👩‍🎓 Minimum 30minutes study time a day: This is the only way these edits are going to get done!

 

🏋️‍♀️Work out at least 3x a week: Down from 4, I want to give myself the goal of getting into the habit again, but also ease off the pressure. At least until my dissertation is done. 

 

 

My pared down goal list is still 5 things... hmm. I see where I was in error before!

 

 

 

 

Oh, Equinox goals to see me through till September 23rd are coming.... eventually. I'm struggling to pin down what I want out of this summer tbh. 

[Sovalis]

Simplify in service to your writing, there is absolutely no shame in this. This season is not forever and you need to get through it to get on to other things. You’ve got this. ❤️

 

(You’re already doing so much better than I did in grad school. I am so proud of you!)

[Rhovaniel]

2 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Simplify in service to your writing, there is absolutely no shame in this. This season is not forever and you need to get through it to get on to other things. You’ve got this. ❤️

 

(You’re already doing so much better than I did in grad school. I am so proud of you!)

Thanks - It will pay off in the end, I'm sure of it. I just need to remind myself that doing all the things is not always an option, or the best one. 

 

 

 

Today was alright.  I did the big adulting task of the day, which was to shop around for car insurance, find something cheaper than my renewal quote and then cancel the auto-renewal that the sneaky devils like to add. My insurance doesn't run out until the 16th of next month, but last year I forgot, even with reminders, and I was determined to Adult Better this time. Still an increase. Ugh. But not as much as the renewal quote. 

 

Work was slow-ish. My boss gets a little... pedantic at times when it's slow and it's frustrating as all hell. 'Have you done this?' 'We need to do x', 'Make sure you do Y' - These are annoying (typically, this is stuff I know I have to do and have already done, because the day was slow) but not too bothersome. More annoying is when he second-guesses me 'You haven't done X'. I have done X, you need to learn where the refresh button is. Also I told you I already did X... today was loooooong. But I should not complain. He doesn't mean to micromanage, he's just - set in his ways. 

 

I actually got up on time, and made it to the gym! Frodo likes snuggles, but also likes to stand on me and my bladder had things to say about that. He is also learning that the second alarm means I actually get up and goes to curl up at the end of the bed by himself. He's a good cat. Gym... I didn't go in with much of a plan except to see if I can deadlift 1RM, to set a benchmark for a year's time when I look back at my New Year Goals. I managed 80kg. Which, on one hand, is great. I can deadlift just shy of my total bodyweight. On the other hand, when I went to CrossFit I could lift at least 90kg. But there we are. That is my new benchmark. I did round off with some light back squats (5x5 @ 40kg) and calf raises my physio gave me that absolutely help with pain when I run and absolutely only help when I actually... do them. Who knew?  

 

Lunch was salmon salad - and I forgot to pack any carbs, not even fruit for after. I was hungry half an hour later, spent the afternoon growing ever more hungry and fighting against the pull of the vending machine. Made it out, home and made a beeline for the kitchen. My plan of bread and cook worked, to an extent. I pulled a drawer out to grab something mid dinner prep (just some pasta with broccoli and peas) and found the chocolate I hid from myself before I went away. A fair bit got eaten. Dammit. 

 

 

 

Monday: 🍔 

 

Tuesday: 🌅🍃👩‍🎓 🏋️‍♀️

 

[Jarric]

Nice one on the deadlifts - being about to lift around your own body weight is nothing to sniff at.

[Rhovaniel]

On 6/28/2023 at 1:00 PM, Jarric said:

Nice one on the deadlifts - being about to lift around your own body weight is nothing to sniff at.

This is true. Thanks. But I want MOAR!  

 

 

Yesterday was a wash for food, just... no takeout but I ate so much, and not much of it was healthy. I had college, which meant travel into London and uuuuugh. We hates it, precious. We hates it! No excuse, it's just what happened. NO workout, but I got a walk in before D&D. Mostly RP, which was good. Think we all needed the chill session, since most of us had varying levels of exhaustion IRL. We did get to witness an epic Kraken battle though. Very different to Monday. Our elderly human wizard chose to ask some pertinent questions to a seemingly nice old hag who sold us pastries once about a cane she had (linked to the disappearance of a young girl in town) and she turned out to be something altogether... powerful. We rolled iniative and the DM got a little quiet, and asked us in the most serious tone  'is everyone ok if I kill your character?'  

 

  

 

Turns out she had a spell/feature (I forget which) that means she can age you and if you age too much... you gone. Thankfully, for some, she aged up the young Aasimar, who WAS 19... and he rolled a 1 on the die. SO now he's 29 and not happy about it. She could definitely have killed the wizard though. 

 

Today is a tad better, goals wise. I had a couple biscuits half an hour ago to stave off the I AM HUNGRY monster, but avoided takeout lunch. I had a shake instead. Not ideal. Must do better. I did get out for a run this morning - decided to go slow, steady instead of intervals and see how I did. Time constraints meant I only did 15 minutes, plus warm up/cool down, but it got done. After the discussion on EG's thread, I decided to see if I could target Zone 2... my watch says I didn't even hit Zone 1, with 84bpm average. Clearly, this is an anomaly. My watch HR tracking is not particularly accurate, but it made me laugh. When I stopped the watch and was walking home, my HR was apparently 118bpm! Oh, and I was definitely getting a little out of breath on the run section, so I know I was working harder than a heart rate of 80! Jeez, I can get 80 just standing up and walking around a bit! Ah well. The run was had, and that's the main thing. 

 

 

[Rhovaniel]

Hello friends!

 

I don't know why, but I am struggling a fair amount with tracking. Not so much with doing, thankfully, but tracking it all, checking in... I had visions of lovely neat rows of emojis to show progress each week (channelling @MaeradCase's excellent set-up, but - it is not the time for that, I fear. I am learning to be okay with that. Likewise, I have decided not to fret over Summer Equinox goals right now. The spirit of adventure is important to me, and it burns brightly. But right now, my focus is simply - finish my Masters, get some semblance of a plan in place (my job role is likely to change with a likely reduction in hours in October) and work towards consistency and better health. I alllmost did a deep dive into calorie counting/macros and logged in MFP for a few days. But it's exhausting, at least for me, to think about it all the time. To fret over any unplanned snack, over measuring everything, whether going over calories means my effort would be ruined. Less than a week and I was heaping the stress on. And this is DESPITE knowing full well that calorie counting is not, and can never be, entirely accurate. That it could be as much as 100 - 200 cals out on lots of foods. So, sticking with my current 'slow, gentle to self' plan - no takeout, avoid junk as much as I can, get consistent with workouts and regain some strength, is what I shall continue with for the time being. 

 

Workouts - These have been going well. I ran on Saturday, went to the gym Sunday (because I missed Friday). Was good. Worked up to a heavy clean (45kg, so still 10kg off my all time PB), but something to work on. Then I did some lighter singles to work on technique (my left arm has a habit of being a little late to the party and leads to me being somewhat lopsided in receiving the bar, or I overcompensate and either a) the right arm is slower than the left this time or b) The bar slams into my chest just below my collarbone and winds me. Did some overhead presses to work the upper body strength (just 5 x5 at 25kg). Then I did some calf exercises my physio gave me and took the time to stretch properly. Do you know, the DOMS are no where near as bad today as usual. Must be a coincidence  

 

My plan, such as it is, is just to remain in something of a holding pattern - work my butt off to finish my studies, and get to the gym/run as much as I can squeeze in until the 15th like it's a gift. It is a gift. I am booked for laser eye surgery on the 15th, and cannot run or jog for 2 weeks, or lift heavy for 3- 4 weeks. Or swim for 4 weeks. The first couple of weeks are mostly to avoid sweat in the eye and the heavy lifting is to avoid pressure in the eye that can affect healing. I think. Guys - I am so scared. I have been back and forth in my head for weeks on whether or not to go through with it. I want to be free of glasses and not have to worry about contacts falling out, getting dry etc whenever I go hiking. I am tired of having to go find my glasses when I want to watch TV, or being so unable to read an illuminated sign (train stations/airports etc) without them that I legitimately have had to ask someone what it says/which platform before, because my contacts fell out. BUT it's also a laser. Cutting a freaking flap out of my cornea and then 'fixing' the eyeball. It's so scary that I keep thinking I'll back out, until I go for a walk and rain hits my glasses, or they steam up or smudge and I remember... oh yeah. Glasses are a pain. My sort of plan/hope/pipe-dream: work so hard physically leading up to the 15th that my body NEEDS the two week rest before I can go be active again. I must ask if light walking is okay, actually. Of course, that is unlikely to happen. But it's a nice goal that's helping no end with consistency right now!