Chesire Posted July 26 Report Share Posted July 26 I'm here. My life has been in a bit of turmoil personally, but I'm still trying to be my best me. I'm not changing much from the last time. Feeling like it's a good time to set up Stoic practice and that means setting a plan for myself. I will report back on what that looks like. 5 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Chesire Posted July 27 Author Report Share Posted July 27 I just had the best realization as I was sitting here trying to convice myself to exercise even though I'm about to have the longest work weekend (basically 3 days of 12+ hrs very social type energy). Its zero week! It's not being lazy! it's being smart 3 2 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Loveable_Bouncer Posted July 27 Report Share Posted July 27 Good luck with your long work week! And may the rest beforehand be beneficial 1 Quote Larger than Average Fairy Druid Level 1 10 STR / 8 DEX / 10 CON / 13 INT / 13 WIS / 17 CHA (DnD Stats) Link to comment
Severine Posted July 28 Report Share Posted July 28 On 7/26/2023 at 3:00 PM, Chesire said: I'm here. My life has been in a bit of turmoil personally, but I'm still trying to be my best me. I'm not changing much from the last time. Feeling like it's a good time to set up Stoic practice and that means setting a plan for myself. I will report back on what that looks like. Hello, and I hope you don't mind if I follow along. I always like to see how people apply stoic principles, so I am interested in your plan. 1 Quote Fitbit | Current Challenge | Old Challenges: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 ~ 20 ~ 21 Forum avatar is custom art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi. Link to comment
Chesire Posted July 29 Author Report Share Posted July 29 Super 'on' and social day one is done. Why do I feel like I always get stuck with the grumpy people?? 2 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Chesire Posted August 1 Author Report Share Posted August 1 I survived! And as a room monitor I learned as much as the students did but more solidly, since I went through it three times. Wins! But then I was so sore and tired yesterday from standing so much. Every time I sat down I had to bounce right back up because some people can't listen and do at the same time. Just how it is sometimes. Anyway. Challenge. I will feel much better mentally if I can get myself back to a good solid self-aware place. Here comes the start of a Stoic practice. Though, it turns out that for me that is mostly getting back to how I tend to live my life when my world isn't burning. (Still need to keep an eye open for hot spots, but the flames are currently out) I don't know if any of you recall my little watcher in the back of my brain who keeps lets me know when my words or actions are not the best for the situation. Little watcher has been exhausted and unable to keep up. I'm thinking of this as getting LW back to speed. 1. I will spend a few minutes of my morning/fitness time with a mind toward anticipating the day. What is planned? What could go astray? How to work with that? 2. I will also use a little of that time preparing myself to respond well, not react, to whatever the day brings. 3. Spend a few minutes toward the end of the day with gratitude or awareness to the good things of the day. 4. Also end of day, how did I do today? good? not so good? 5. write down just a little bit of these things, probably when I go through my schedule book. My intent is that this isn't much of an official, sit down, serious affair, but more like background as I go though my day. And not tons of time devoted unless I hit a moment when it is necessary to truly focus. almost forgot! 6. be present here more than I have been, but respectfully do what I need to do with my energy 3 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
KeysMcGee Posted August 1 Report Share Posted August 1 I might just borrow some of these for my own mental routines. Have them be like little background tasks / daemons running in my brain. 1 Quote "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford "If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." -Kurt Vonnegut. Link to comment
Emissary2Ornj Posted August 2 Report Share Posted August 2 Woohoo! On board, encouraging the Li'l Watcher re-charge. 1 Quote "You're not in it to get Most [Recognized Rebel Ever]. You're not in it to be eligible for prizes. You're in this because you made a promise to yourself and you refuse to let you down. Walk the talk. And even when you don't talk much, make the walk so powerful that it leaves no room for questions - from inside or out." -note to self Str7.5 Dex6 Sta5.7 Con11.8 Wis10.4 Cha2 Intro post~Challenge 1~Challenge 2~Challenge 3~Challenge 4~Battle Log 1 Ranger Level 3 Link to comment
Chesire Posted August 2 Author Report Share Posted August 2 21 hours ago, Emissary2Ornj said: Woohoo! On board, encouraging the Li'l Watcher re-charge. It'll be nice to have the company back! 2 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Artemis Prime Posted August 11 Report Share Posted August 11 How fares our stoic Li'l Watcher? 1 Quote "For God did not give us a spirit of fear; but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline". - 2 Timothy 1:7 "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." -Gandalf Link to comment
Chesire Posted August 12 Author Report Share Posted August 12 17 hours ago, Artemis Prime said: How fares our stoic Li'l Watcher? Thanks for checking in on me. I think the Li'l Watcher is recovering a bit and helping me return to considered reactions. first, I'm learning the downside of having been the calm and collected person through some long term relationships (like 10 and 20 year long.) They assume you're fine and can deal with it. But when they are all having difficulties with each other (stupid stress caused behavior) and the storm of it is swirling all around me and they continue to treat me like a solid rock that can take the storm, it's exhausting. I'm making a distinct point of telling people that this rock is suffering for the beating of the storm, ie your dramas are making you forget that this all affects me too since my nature has made me the reliable support person. I know the message is getting through for at least one person, and for the others I will continue to say what I need to say. If it doesn't make a difference, I will decide what I need to do. My daily practice and review has helped a lot in dealing with this. It has helped me organize my thoughts and honestly consider how I'm handling everything. And most importantly, respect my own needs and express them. I've did really well the first week jotting down my reflections at the appointed time, but this week I kept forgetting to write it down. I did the reflections on time, which really is the point, but writing them down as best I recall 4 days later destroys the point of it being a quick and minimally demanding task! Will try again next week to return to timely notations. 3 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Emissary2Ornj Posted August 19 Report Share Posted August 19 Rooting for you! With deep admiration for that coveted ability to respect and express your needs. 1 Quote "You're not in it to get Most [Recognized Rebel Ever]. You're not in it to be eligible for prizes. You're in this because you made a promise to yourself and you refuse to let you down. Walk the talk. And even when you don't talk much, make the walk so powerful that it leaves no room for questions - from inside or out." -note to self Str7.5 Dex6 Sta5.7 Con11.8 Wis10.4 Cha2 Intro post~Challenge 1~Challenge 2~Challenge 3~Challenge 4~Battle Log 1 Ranger Level 3 Link to comment
Chesire Posted August 27 Author Report Share Posted August 27 On 8/12/2023 at 8:11 AM, Chesire said: Will try again next week to return to timely notations. hahahah! nope. Anyway. All this interpersonal crap is exhausting. But we try until it is clear trying isn't working. It seems to be working, so onward. Obviously this has lead to me falling short (I refuse to say fail until I give up) on most of my stated goals. That's ok. I just need to redo from start. I will once again give journaling a go. I'll follow the same plan or note down specific thoughts based on wandering brain dealing with things while I'm otherwise active. But the goal is to write something down every day. Loosely thinking with morning coffee before I get sucked into other stupid things. Oh, and this starts now, not with the next challenge. It's overwhelming now to visit challenge posts, but I once again hope to follow along better next time. 2 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
KeysMcGee Posted August 28 Report Share Posted August 28 13 hours ago, Chesire said: Oh, and this starts now, not with the next challenge. Still in the game. Respect. 1 Quote "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford "If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." -Kurt Vonnegut. Link to comment
Emissary2Ornj Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 On 8/27/2023 at 8:39 AM, Chesire said: But we try until it is clear trying isn't working. It seems to be working, so onward. YES! *fist pump* Really glad it seems to be working. Many things ebb and flow, including the time/energy available for involvement in our favorite things like cheering on fellow nerds. That is life, and it's as it should be. 1 Quote "You're not in it to get Most [Recognized Rebel Ever]. You're not in it to be eligible for prizes. You're in this because you made a promise to yourself and you refuse to let you down. Walk the talk. And even when you don't talk much, make the walk so powerful that it leaves no room for questions - from inside or out." -note to self Str7.5 Dex6 Sta5.7 Con11.8 Wis10.4 Cha2 Intro post~Challenge 1~Challenge 2~Challenge 3~Challenge 4~Battle Log 1 Ranger Level 3 Link to comment
Chesire Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Thank you so much for the support. The boost really does help. I had an unpleasant realization last night that resulted from listening, instead of just reacting, to something that was said to me. I'll skip explaining the intricacies*, but the long and short of it is, I've started down a path of selfish behavior. Ugh. It grew out of just getting MrC to notice me and treat me with the slightest degree of respect when he was deep in the dark (and misplacing anger with other things on to me,) to a pretty strong version of 'it must be my way or it's wrong.' And constantly over-pushing without patience. I can see how it developed, and frankly I'm not surprised it happened. I need to sit with this for a bit and ruminate. Hurt feelings can lead to some pretty wild things, y'all! *changed my mind since it helps me to see things better when written down; I've been pushing for him to reduce drinking (pandemics and bereavement and job-loss, oh my) and I did the classic roll eyes and sigh thing when he poured. Later I was addressing my admittedly fear-driven behavior he said what I think was an off-hand comment that some things "will have the opposite effect of what you (me) want." I started to get angry but I paused it and -welcome back li'l watcher in my brain- I started to wonder what made him say that. Basically I realized if it were me, yeah, I'd be annoyed and do the opposite too, especially if it were someone claiming to be there for me but they just weren't listening. Damn. 1 1 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
KeysMcGee Posted September 1 Report Share Posted September 1 There's a lot in that that rings eerily familiar for me. For what it's worth, I think it's really awesome that you were able to recognize what was going on with your emotions and then catch yourself. I feel like the hard question any time my wife and I come across insights like this is "Okay, now that we have this new awareness, what do we do with it?" 2 Quote "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford "If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." -Kurt Vonnegut. Link to comment
Chesire Posted September 3 Author Report Share Posted September 3 On 9/1/2023 at 7:09 AM, KeysMcGee said: "Okay, now that we have this new awareness, what do we do with it?" absolutely this! so far what I/we do with it is be share the thoughts with the other if it was a solo observation and discuss patience and gentleness as we try to learn new reactions. Also, in this case, my mindset did not develop in isolation so an honest discussion about how and why that happened, especially as I see myself reacting to something poorly, and why my reaction is inappropriate this time (I've been calling it a historical reaction) so my stupid brain can see the difference. (stupid brain; not saying I'm stupid, just that brains can be stupid) 1 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Chesire Posted September 3 Author Report Share Posted September 3 Well, this was quite the challenge. Read some things and listened to some podcasts that made me think generally and then made me pause at the right time for some insights. Mostly I was considering my emotions and where they came from, what were my thoughts that lead to the emotions. Were there other thoughts I was not considering? Yep, there was. Were my thoughts not proper in this situation? yep, that too. Phew! Turns out all that stuff is good for fitness too! I'm not quite so primed for battle anymore which means more energy to put into exercise. No great advancement in that but I had more interest in doing it and doing it with more effort, Still have lots of work to do but I'm feeling a bit better about it right now. And great news! MrC got a job. Not a great job, but a job! It's been just shy of a year and he starts on Tues. Customer service for crap pay, but a job! And obviously will keep looking for something better. I'm a bit excited because he is atrocious at small talk of any kind so this should help a bit Have a great zero! 1 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
KeysMcGee Posted September 3 Report Share Posted September 3 2 hours ago, Chesire said: so far what I/we do with it is be share the thoughts with the other if it was a solo observation and discuss patience and gentleness as we try to learn new reactions. Also, in this case, my mindset did not develop in isolation so an honest discussion about how and why that happened, especially as I see myself reacting to something poorly, and why my reaction is inappropriate this time (I've been calling it a historical reaction) so my stupid brain can see the difference. (stupid brain; not saying I'm stupid, just that brains can be stupid) Not sure if it's relevant to this situation, but a day or two ago, I watched a video on Reddit where someone had, through some kind of special microscope, recorded the formation of a neural pathway in the brain (no idea how they pulled that off, but that's what the caption said). Anyway, that got me to thinking about all of my own "historical reactions" to things and just the way I see the world, which are basically just communication routes that get solidified in my brain over time. It was neat to just watch those two nerve endings fuse together like that and seeing my thought patterns in terms of their biological reality. Because it got me thinking--the way I interpret the world and the habits that I use are nothing more than connections in my brain. I can change that stuff. It's not easy-some connections are stronger than others, yes-but it can be done. And more importantly, the connections that are there aren't necessarily because of anything external. They're just pathways that my brain forms in response to how I'm interpreting what I see around me. Maybe that helps, I dunno. Here is the link to the video in case you're curious. 1 Quote "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford "If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." -Kurt Vonnegut. Link to comment
Chesire Posted September 3 Author Report Share Posted September 3 Oh! and I'm going to engage my 20SoC and go to a meetup by myself today! I'm sure they aren't scary, but you never know 1 Quote daily dare 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 #8 #7 #6 #5 #4 #3 #2 #1 Link to comment
Emissary2Ornj Posted September 5 Report Share Posted September 5 On 9/3/2023 at 6:58 AM, Chesire said: And great news! MrC got a job. Oh, wow - so many fist pumps from me for you this challenge! This one is huge. My dad made some career changes during my early 20s and was out of work a couple times, sometimes for many months. I think there was so much energy spent during that time - figuring stuff out (both dialing in on his values for a job AND working the finances to keep the household going), job searching, and then just them supporting each other (Mom was amazing, but at what cost?). I am REALLY glad to hear a job has been secured, and there is definitely nothing wrong with it being looked at as a stepping stone to further opportunities. On 9/3/2023 at 9:30 AM, KeysMcGee said: Because it got me thinking--the way I interpret the world and the habits that I use are nothing more than connections in my brain. I can change that stuff. This was probably one of the two most empowering things I woke up to when I began examining where my deepest personal beliefs and mental/emotional habits came from. The other was realizing I wasn't born with those habits; I learned them from somewhere, in response to what was going on around me. I think of my thought-patterns as "brain tracks" or "ruts". My brain prefers the path of least resistance. So it uses the well-worn tracks. But it's AMAZING to know I can forge new ones. 2 Quote "You're not in it to get Most [Recognized Rebel Ever]. You're not in it to be eligible for prizes. You're in this because you made a promise to yourself and you refuse to let you down. Walk the talk. And even when you don't talk much, make the walk so powerful that it leaves no room for questions - from inside or out." -note to self Str7.5 Dex6 Sta5.7 Con11.8 Wis10.4 Cha2 Intro post~Challenge 1~Challenge 2~Challenge 3~Challenge 4~Battle Log 1 Ranger Level 3 Link to comment
KeysMcGee Posted September 5 Report Share Posted September 5 On 9/3/2023 at 6:58 AM, Chesire said: MrC got a job Also this. Huge ass horray for this (apologies for not acknowledging it earlier. Been a lot going on on our end ) 1 Quote "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." -Henry Ford "If you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things." -Miyamoto Musashi "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." -Kurt Vonnegut. Link to comment
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