[Scaly Freak]

Does it count as a respawn if you're not actually dead before it happens?

 

Scalyfreak contemplates this largely hypothetical question as she focuses on breathing slowly in, and then slowly back out again. Slowly in. Slowly out. The itching and burning sensation that is unavoidable when organs and muscles knot themselves back together is missing, so Scalyfreak is forced to conclude that although that last swipe from Self-Sabotage clearly hit at least one artery and two vital organs, that must not have been enough to kill.... oh shit. Is she still...?!

 

A quick but discrete glance around the surrounding landscape reveals that after administering an insultingly one-sided beat-down, the large demon beast must have left Scalyfreak for dead, and left the area as well, because she is no longer nearby. The foul odor of doubt and futility that accompanies Self-Sabotage wherever she goes lingers for hours, but the breeze dancing across the Scalyfreak finds herself in field is clear and fresh. Thankful for the solitude she stops panicking and goes back to focusing on her breathing until both the lungs and sinuses feel normal again, and then begins the grueling task of sitting up and searching for her weapons and belongings.

 

“If it is true that whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger, I'll be able to lift buildings by the time I'm back on my feet.” Her voice sounds raspy and weak to Scalyfreak's own ears, but it doesn't hurt to speak, thankfully. It is the only thing that doesn't seem to hurt right now, but Scalyfreak learned a long time ago to be grateful for the small blessings in life. ...such as the fact that despite being punched, bitten, trampled, and literally thrown across a meadow, she has bruises and aches and pains to show for it, but not a single fracture or sprain. This would strike her as odd if all those bruises and muscle strains and the act of breathing didn't all add up to a powerfully painful distraction of the kind that begs for relief.

 

Scalyfreak is in fact so focused on breathing through the pain and retrieving her things, that she completely fails to notice the large hoof marks in the soft ground nearby.

 

 

Before diving straight this challenge period, here's a brief “intro” for anyone who doesn't know me very well:

Spoiler

I approach all my challenges as video game quests, with boss fights and level grinding. I have re-framed my anxiety into pyromancy (specifically, the Flame of Anxiety), because it's very destructive when it flares up and gets out of control. But like pyromancy, if the chaos is embraced and can be harnessed, all that energy can be used against against my enemies. In fireball form.

 

Track record in my boss fights so far:

 

• Self-Sabotage drains levels and health, and heals herself with what she drains from her opponent.
  • Current strategy: Run and hide
• Procrastination is good at hiding and then hitting me with a back-stab when I least expect it.
  • Current strategy: Ignore; deal with her later.
• Self-Indulgence was gradually convinced it would be easier for her to reach her goals if we worked together. Before the alliance fell apart on its own, Self-Indulgence was viciously killed by a very angry unicorn (that has been seen briefly once of twice since then, but it keeps staying away).
  • Current strategy: Dance on her grave
• Stress-Hydra spawns whenever too many things are happening at once, or when something really big and overwhelming happens, and cutting off one of her seven heads makes no difference because it re-spawns a replacement head almost immediately.
  • Current strategy: The Herakles Method - Ask for help

 

I'm currently dual-classing as a Warrior Druid, because meditation is a great way to quietly build Endurance and Resilience stats while figuring out how to make my need for sleep work with my need to make my body lift things and move and generally be active in a way that builds strength and resilience.

 

So. I failed to realize, and because of that also failed to plan for, the levels of stress and mental exhaustion I would encounter in the first few months of my new job.

 

Oops.

 

In addition to this, I also let all my self-care habits lapse, largely due to a severely misguided assumption that now that I had a new job, the hard part would be over. And while this technically was true, I'm discovering that's a little bit like being relieved that the swimming part of a triathlon is over. True, the swimming is done, but there are two events left to go. And I was a bad triathlete and failed to prepare for the bike and run parts.

 

I spent the previous challenge period in a haze of depleted stamina bars and non-existent mana levels, and since sitting out this one as well breaks the rule of never-two-in-a-row, here I am again. Still tired, mentally more than physically, and fashionably late as usual, but here none the less.

 

And I'm going back to a previous way of tracking and challenging for this one:

 

Build HP (physical health)

Intentional Warrior-inspired movement needs to happen at least once every day. The idea of moving is to strengthen muscles, and anything that accomplishes this is acceptable – lifting weights, lifting myself, doing yoga, or using the elliptical in the living room. (Yes, I am re-framing cardio as strength training for the myocardium. This is not weird.)

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Meditate. Meditate more. At least once per day. I will primarily be using Insight Timer, but other self-care apps can sub in as needed.

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

Emotional bandwidth is restored by doing pleasant things that make the body and mind happy. This can be a nice bath, a good book, good music, new makeup, or playing with one of the Sidekicks. The important thing is that it's intentional and mindful... background music while folding laundry does not count, for example. Enjoyable activities with Other People would also fall here.

 

And now I need to go catch up with everyone else's threads. This may take me a while......

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Sorry the transition has been difficult. I'm glad you posted a challenge. 

[Mistr]

Good to see you!

 

I understand how overwhelming a new job can be. I am with you on the respawn track for reasons you have already heard about.

[Jackdaw]

Heeey, so happy to see you! I was waiting to see your new thread! *hugs*

 

I am sorry to hear it has been so tough at the new job. But it is still relatively new, I think with time it'll get better. Is it possible to take a few days off so you could rest properly and maybe distance yourself a little? 

 

I like your challenge, it's very similar to mine. (I just have breathwork instead of meditation and stretching/core for the physical part.) I also have had a hard time and I think those three points are crucial to get back on your feet. 

 

Good luck! 🤞🍀❤

[Harriet]

Glad you're here. I wish you much strength for the next two stretches of the triathlon, which I assume are darts and wrestling, but I'm not sure and I am not going to look it up because it's better this way. 

 

 

Is the new job tiring just because it's new? Do you think it will be a decent job once you're settled in?

[Sovalis]

Glad to see you here! Wishing you all the rest and recovery and spoons as you continue to acclimate to the new routine. 

[Kishi]

Myocardium's a muscle. It needs to be strong too. So, yeah, it counts.

[Scaly Freak]

11 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

I am sorry to hear it has been so tough at the new job. But it is still relatively new, I think with time it'll get better. Is it possible to take a few days off so you could rest properly and maybe distance yourself a little? 

 

I could do that, but I haven't earned a lot of vacation time yet, so  I want to save what I'm earning for the holiday season in a few months. I may give myself a three-day weekend at some point soon though.

 

11 hours ago, Harriet said:

Is the new job tiring just because it's new? Do you think it will be a decent job once you're settled in?

 

Yes, and yes. I'm liking this job a lot better than my old one. Aside from the fact it pays a lot better, they actually practice and proactively support a healthy work-life balance, while my old job merely talked about it while expecting us to work 10-hour days on a regular basis.

 

 

Build HP (physical health)

Evening walk with Husband. Went longer than usual, because the weather was not set to Oven Mode.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Meditated in the morning. Also did breathing exercises with the plant self-care app,

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

Attended virtual/Zoom event for the volunteer group.

[Harriet]

10 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Yes, and yes. I'm liking this job a lot better than my old one. Aside from the fact it pays a lot better, they actually practice and proactively support a healthy work-life balance, while my old job merely talked about it while expecting us to work 10-hour days on a regular basis.

 

That's good to hear. Then we can expect things to get better, not worse, with time, which is a good position to be in. And better pay is nothing to sneeze at. 

[Kishi]

11 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Build HP (physical health)

Evening walk with Husband. Went longer than usual, because the weather was not set to Oven Mode.

 

Yeah, it was nice over here too. Not sure what to make of it. Doesn't seem to have lasted to today around here.

[Jié Xī]

There you are! I thought you had left and was sad.

 

Love your challenge goals! Sorry your new job has been stressful. 

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, Jié Xī said:

There you are! I thought you had left and was sad.

 

Um... Do I know....? Oh, now that I see your signature I know who you are!  

 

 

 

Build HP (physical health)

Evening walk again. Oven Mode has returned, which caused unpleasant redness on exposed skin. Note to self: Repurchase, and resume use of, the beach-grade sunscreen.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Morning meditation happened and flower emulator app was used.

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

Procrastination kept telling me I can wait until tomorrow to return That Thing to amazon. So I returned it earlier this evening, just to spite her. 😈

[Jackdaw]

Oh, take care with your skin, burns suck. Maybe an umbrella? But I guess in US it looks weird, right? I liked that in Asia it's so common and it really helps. 

 

Good job with beating up the procrastination demon! 

[Scaly Freak]

12 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

Oh, take care with your skin, burns suck. Maybe an umbrella? But I guess in US it looks weird, right? I liked that in Asia it's so common and it really helps. 

 

Sunburns do suck. And I get them very easily, since I'm a very pale, pale, person, and I live in a desert climate that has no clouds and a high UV index in the  summer. Because of this I normally wear sunscreens with SPF 50+ at all times in the summer, but yesterday I was in a hurry and I was also lazy, and instead of going to the bathroom in the far end of our house to reapply the Beach Defense sunscreen with the high SPF (the one that is very low and needs to be repurchased) , I just grabbed a nearby SPF 30 cream and applied that instead.

 

Lesson learned.

 

Umbrellas for sun protection is very rare here... as is almost anything else that blocks the sun actually. I own, and proudly wear, a wide-brimmed sun hat every time I leave the house in the summer, and from what I've seen when we got outside during the day, I am in the clear minority. Almost everyone I see wears sleeve-less tops, shorts of some kind, and occasionally I see a man in a baseball cap, but that's it. 

 

And then there is me, who burns super-easily, and has adopted the kind of sun protection that was common in hot desert-like climates centuries ago when they didn't have sunscreen filters: Light-weight long wide pants and long-sleeved shirts, and a big hat, and stay inside during pack sun hours. And yes, compared to the majority of people I see outside in the summer, I do look weird like this.  

 

I didn't wear the shirt yesterday, but it was also by the bathroom and far away... The good news is the redness has not turned into burns, but the amount of freckles on my arms has increased significantly. A more immediate problem is that I am running low on face sunscreen, and the replacement is not scheduled to arrive until Thursday. Hmmm.

[Scaly Freak]

My favorite brand of coffee is a local store brand. The local store is discontinuing this brand.

 

Today is a sad day. 

 

#FirstWorldProblems

[Scaly Freak]

Build HP (physical health)

Weather is still in Oven Mode, so I spent 15 minutes giving my myocardium a workout on the elliptical instead.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Didn't in any way feel up to doing my full meditation ritual after waking up this morning, so I did the box breathing exercise in the plant emulator app instead. It's two minutes of mindful breathing, and I did it twice, so it counts.

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

The item I dropped off at the Amazon Return Center in the store two blocks away, was scanned into the center's inventory early this morning. That means amazon considers it returned, so they issued the refund back to me in store credit.... I now have new face sunscreen scheduled to arrive before Thursday.  

[Scaly Freak]

 

[Jackdaw]

17 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Sunburns do suck. And I get them very easily, since I'm a very pale, pale, person, and I live in a desert climate that has no clouds and a high UV index in the  summer. Because of this I normally wear sunscreens with SPF 50+ at all times in the summer, but yesterday I was in a hurry and I was also lazy, and instead of going to the bathroom in the far end of our house to reapply the Beach Defense sunscreen with the high SPF (the one that is very low and needs to be repurchased) , I just grabbed a nearby SPF 30 cream and applied that instead.

 

Lesson learned.

 

Umbrellas for sun protection is very rare here... as is almost anything else that blocks the sun actually. I own, and proudly wear, a wide-brimmed sun hat every time I leave the house in the summer, and from what I've seen when we got outside during the day, I am in the clear minority. Almost everyone I see wears sleeve-less tops, shorts of some kind, and occasionally I see a man in a baseball cap, but that's it. 

 

And then there is me, who burns super-easily, and has adopted the kind of sun protection that was common in hot desert-like climates centuries ago when they didn't have sunscreen filters: Light-weight long wide pants and long-sleeved shirts, and a big hat, and stay inside during pack sun hours. And yes, compared to the majority of people I see outside in the summer, I do look weird like this.  

 

I didn't wear the shirt yesterday, but it was also by the bathroom and far away... The good news is the redness has not turned into burns, but the amount of freckles on my arms has increased significantly. A more immediate problem is that I am running low on face sunscreen, and the replacement is not scheduled to arrive until Thursday. Hmmm.

 

Well, with this kind of disposition, I must say you chose a very interesting place to live xD 

 

I love heat, till 34 C I am good. But I can't bear cold and I always wear more than most people. But maybe I ll fix it when I come back to cold showers and hopefully, cold baths. 

[Scaly Freak]

12 hours ago, XBlackWidowX said:

 

Well, with this kind of disposition, I must say you chose a very interesting place to live xD 

 

I love heat, till 34 C I am good. But I can't bear cold and I always wear more than most people. But maybe I ll fix it when I come back to cold showers and hopefully, cold baths. 

 

Well... let's just say the climate was not a factor in my decision. We have a heat warning for the next few days, meaning it will be close to 40 C/105 F here for a while. No, I will not be going outside.  

 

 

 

 

Build HP (physical health)

Oven Mode did not resume until later afternoon today, so I went outside around noon-ish and weeded the backyard flowerbeds. Weeding for 45 minutes becomes strength training if one squats almost the entire time. So I did stretching afterwards in an effort to reduce tomorrow's DOMS.

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Breathed with the plants in the app again. (The app is Kinder World. It's awesome.)

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

Today was Championship Sunday for this season's World Championship Tournament in Rocket League, so Husband and I watched the entire stream and cheered for the teams we liked, booed the ones we don't, and pouted when only the latter group made it deep in the playoffs. It was fun.  

[Scaly Freak]

Build HP (physical health)

Walked with husband after work, in the evening, but clearly not late enough in the evening. We arrived back home exhausted, whiny, and feeling generally disgusting and worn out. Personally, I am convinced I was simmering in my own sweat - gross.

 

Thankfully we've both lived in this climate long enough to recognize that this situation has an easy fix: Drink water. Three pints of cold water with an added splash of apple cider vinegar later I felt fine again. (Husband opted for a fridge cold kombucha and a large glass of water for himself.)

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

I forgot to set my alarm to remind me that there was a meeting scheduled for an hour earlier than work normally starts. When I finally remembered there was literally no time to meditate, as putting on clothes and makeup before a video call took priority. I meditated after the meeting, and have been promised that 7:00 AM Monday meetings are not going to be a regular occurrence.

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

My old job was generous with company-logo-decorated shirts. The shirts are a good quality, and very comfortable, but I am definitely not comfortable wearing my old employer's logo to my new job, even though it's a discrete black-on-black logo. Also, they fired me in the name of saving money, even though anyone who actually knew that I did there knew that was a dumb idea that would backfire (and no one listened to the people who knew that), and walked me out of the building almost immediately after telling me I was fired, so fuck them and their expensive silk blend shirts. 

 

Ahem. Anyway.

 

I packed up these reminder-shirts and shipped them to an online thrift/consignment store who may or may not sell them, but either way, these shirts are gone now.

 

I kept the super-soft comfy-warm Champion hoodie though. I'm bitter, not stupid.  

[Mistr]

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I forgot to set my alarm to remind me that there was a meeting scheduled for an hour earlier than work normally starts. When I finally remembered there was literally no time to meditate, as putting on clothes and makeup before a video call took priority. I meditated after the meeting, and have been promised that 7:00 AM Monday meetings are not going to be a regular occurrence.

 

Seven am meetings on a Monday are cruel and unusual punishment. Someone should be talked to about that.

 

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

My old job was generous with company-logo-decorated shirts. The shirts are a good quality, and very comfortable, but I am definitely not comfortable wearing my old employer's logo to my new job, even though it's a discrete black-on-black logo. Also, they fired me in the name of saving money, even though anyone who actually knew that I did there knew that was a dumb idea that would backfire (and no one listened to the people who knew that), and walked me out of the building almost immediately after telling me I was fired, so fuck them and their expensive silk blend shirts. 

 

Ahem. Anyway.

 

I packed up these reminder-shirts and shipped them to an online thrift/consignment store who may or may not sell them, but either way, these shirts are gone now.

 

I kept the super-soft comfy-warm Champion hoodie though. I'm bitter, not stupid.  

 

Elf had a nice hoodie with a logo from a former employer. They got a patch they liked (some sort of octopus) and applied it over the logo. It looks nice and you would never know there used to be a different emblem there.

[Harriet]

On 8/12/2023 at 4:13 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Procrastination kept telling me I can wait until tomorrow to return That Thing to amazon. So I returned it earlier this evening, just to spite her. 😈

 

Hehehe excellent approach. 

 

On 8/14/2023 at 5:00 AM, Scaly Freak said:

Well... let's just say the climate was not a factor in my decision. We have a heat warning for the next few days, meaning it will be close to 40 C/105 F here for a while. No, I will not be going outside.  

 

40C is crazy  I hope you'll be okay. 

 

[Heidi]

On 8/10/2023 at 11:57 PM, Scaly Freak said:

I may give myself a three-day weekend at some point soon though.

Does your office get Labor Day off? (Sept 4 is closer than it looks). 

 

On 8/10/2023 at 11:57 PM, Scaly Freak said:

they actually practice and proactively support a healthy work-life balance,

❤️ this is so great. And inspiring. I'm in the "expect ten hour days anyway" camp and would like to believe not all companies are like this. You and Tank are providing good inspiration on this front, thank you.

 

On 8/12/2023 at 4:34 PM, Scaly Freak said:

I own, and proudly wear, a wide-brimmed sun hat every time I leave the house in the summer,

The 21st century is gonig to bring back fashion: Hats becuase of ThatDangedSun and gloves becuase of WowGermsWhoKnew.

 

18 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

this situation has an easy fix: Drink water. Three pints of cold water with an added splash of apple cider vinegar later I felt fine again.

Yes! I tend to also dab a bit of apple cider vinegar on my face if I feel grimy (which i do on sweaty evenings, not sure why the evening makes it worse, but it does). I am glad you are drinking water.  

18 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

7:00 AM Monday meetings

WITH VIDEO?!?! This is inhumane.

 

By the way, hi.

You're awesome. 

❤️ 

[Jié Xī]

On 8/12/2023 at 2:34 PM, Scaly Freak said:

And then there is me, who burns super-easily, and has adopted the kind of sun protection that was common in hot desert-like climates centuries ago when they didn't have sunscreen filters: Light-weight long wide pants and long-sleeved shirts, and a big hat, and stay inside during pack sun hours. And yes, compared to the majority of people I see outside in the summer, I do look weird like this.  

 

I am actually surprised more people don't wear loose white tops and pants in the summers. It's quite hot here where I am as well and it is also a desert climate. I actually LOVE my white shirt. It helps me not feel like I am baking. 

[Scaly Freak]

10 hours ago, Mistr said:

Seven am meetings on a Monday are cruel and unusual punishment. Someone should be talked to about that.

 

I've been informed that someone was indeed talked to about it. 

 

10 hours ago, Mistr said:

Elf had a nice hoodie with a logo from a former employer. They got a patch they liked (some sort of octopus) and applied it over the logo. It looks nice and you would never know there used to be a different emblem there.

 

Oh, that's a brilliant idea! I must find a patch... maybe one of Cthulhu? Or of a dragon...?  Or of a smiling black cat...? TO ETSY!  

 

10 hours ago, Harriet said:

40C is crazy  I hope you'll be okay. 

 

I have been inside all day long, and plan to keep it that way 

 

7 hours ago, Heidi said:

Does your office get Labor Day off? (Sept 4 is closer than it looks). 

 

 

I think so? I'll look into it tomorrow!

 

8 hours ago, Heidi said:

By the way, hi.

You're awesome. 

❤️

 

Takes one to know one  

 

42 minutes ago, Jié Xī said:

I am actually surprised more people don't wear loose white tops and pants in the summers. It's quite hot here where I am as well and it is also a desert climate. I actually LOVE my white shirt. It helps me not feel like I am baking. 

 

The general thought on that around here appears to be that if you cover all your skin like that, then how are you going to tan? Explanations that I don't, by virtue of paleness, and that I don't really want to since the sun causes skin cancer and premature signs of aging anyway,  seem to go unheard or ignored.

 

Build HP (physical health)

Gave the myocardium another workout, in the hopes of making it stronger, via the elliptical. (My legs were dead weight with DOMS from the moment they started moving, so I award myself extra bonus points for completing the workout. Many ouch.)

 

Restore Mana (mental health)

Meditation is back in its usual spot in my morning routine. 

 

Recover Stamina (fortify emotional bandwidth)

This happened before this challenge period, but I've been playing and experimenting with it all evening: I found a new hair stylist. My hair is now around 5 inches shorter, so just a little bit longer than down to my shoulders, and it is a gorgeous red-violet shade. (5RV for anyone who speaks Salon Color.) and as it turns out... when you cut off all the neglected and chemically damaged hair and leave nothing but comparatively shorter lengths of fine and frizzy hair, strange things happen. In my case, the waves and curl patterns have returned. 

 

So I have been binge watching videos on curly hair, dismissing 90% of content creators until I found someone with fine and wavy hair like mine, and dove down the rabbit hole. It's fun!