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Heidi: Fortitude


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1 hour ago, Heidi said:

This is Wisdom, which is sometimes less comfortable a comfort.

 

I like that expression. I also try to take things more slowly when I travel. It's not easy with kids, but I'm content just swimming in the ocean or sitting on a rock over a gorge, meditating. My kids want to "do" stuff, which is great but also exhausting. You know the feeling when you need a vacation from your vacation.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

May your day be smooth and may the path reveal itself.

 

And yours, as well, my friend.

  • Like 1

Who am I? -- My NF Character

Current Challenge: WolfDreamer Enters Spartan Training

Past Challenges: 

Spoiler

Winter is ComingWolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the PeopleWolfen Strengthens His ChakrasWolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental ToughnessWolfen Joins the Wander SocietySoulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger ThingsWolfen Becomes a Warrior EliteWolfen Goes Here and There and Back AgainWolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior EliteWolfen Returns to His RootsWolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and BodyWolfen Owns the DayWolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His LifeWolfen Hits the TrailsWolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the ResistanceWolfen Goes Back to the SourceWolfen Begins the Hero's JourneyWolfDreamer Returns to the People,  WolfDreamer Pushes BackWolfDreamer PrioritizesBurpees, Books, and BrainworkBurpees, Books, Brainwork, and BodyworkWolfDreamer Masters the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Returns to SpartaWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth AdventureWolfDreamer and the FallWolfDreamer Forges His Own PathWolfDreamer Has HopeWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals MoreWolfDreamer Embraces His Wild PoetThe Mad Poet Becomes SupernaturalWolfDreamer, The Mad Poet, Becomes SuperhumanWolfDreamer ElevatesWolfDreamer Becomes IronBornWolfDreamer Wakes the White WolfThe Mad Poet Recovers by Keeping it SimpleWolfDreamer Clears His Mind to Find His Wild HeartWolfDreamer ResetsWolfDreamer Strives to Become an Eminently Qualified Peaceful WarriorWolfDreamer Springs ForwardWolfDreamer Returns (For Real This Time)WolfDreamer is RespaWinningWolfDreamer RebootsWolfDreamer Thinks About the Roman Empire

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy

"I feel love rising in my chest again
Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane"

"...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b

 

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/wave that was a killer D&D sheet post 2 - loving that way of categorizing your particulars 

  • Like 1

Level 87 Wood Elf Druid

Druid: || 59 | 60 | 61 | 61.5 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 8485 | 86 | 87  ||

Ranger: || 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 ||

||Char/RPG||
STR: 57 || DEX: 59 || STA: 52 || CON: 47 || WIS: 59 || CHA: 59

 

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4 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

/wave that was a killer D&D sheet post 2 - loving that way of categorizing your particulars 

o hai!

❤️

definitely need to create some sort of shared document brainstorm bucket thing for working on this more. I like the D&D framework that is happening, too. I need a Nerdly writing group to help nudge this into its next form.

 

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Wisdom indeed, to pull back and admit what will not work and make changes.

We do not control the weather, but we can adjust our sails.

 

Today is a good day.

Just after canceling plans for this summer, I got a powerful email yesterday evening, and I feel very solid about The Way Forward.

I had a post-work two-hour nap, woke up to the email, and then realized I was still too wiped out to do homework, so I knit and watched Changeling, which seems good so far. I slept well and there was no Neighbor Dog disturbance, which was a relief. I still slept in this morning and missed gym time, but no matter -- being well rested and emotionally sound is a huge win. 

 

Over the course of the day I finished up three discussion posts, one reply, and skipped the fourth. It might happen that I decide to write about the library board of trustees organiaztional structure by Sunday evening, but it's optional and of lesser priority than making an inforgraphic to show what Information Ethics is and how it's a core value of librarianship (due Saturday). I got a nice rough draft for the info graphic and have a scaffold for the way forward. The other option was a video and we all know how I feel about videos (🤢). Unlike some of the other multimedia assignments, this one makes sense to me: librarians are always having to make posters, graphics, bookmarks, and whathaveyou, and -- increasingly -- videos for their community outreach efforts. It's not my strongest skillset, but that's okay too; if I knew everything I wouldn't need to take the class.

 

Work feels like a trap this week, and I'm navigating it well enough -- balance is everything. 

  • Like 7

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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Definitely wiped out, now, and likely going to take a post-work nap once again. 

  • Like 6

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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4 hours ago, Heidi said:

Definitely wiped out, now, and likely going to take a post-work nap once again. 

Rest deeply and well, Friend. We will keep watch. 

  • Like 1

Past Challenges: #1, #2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15#16

Current Challenge: #17

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Your challenges always seem so well thought out and balanced. You're a potpourri of wisdom and intellectual curiosity and persistence, and it's a good influence on everyone.

 

Your upcoming conference presentation sounds exciting (and taxing), and I hope it is everything you wish for.

 

On 9/5/2023 at 8:54 AM, Heidi said:

About 10 years ago I was finishing up cleaning the floors in the downstairs of my three-bedroom house. It was 2 in the morning, and the 3 children were all upstairs asleep. I was feeling good about finally having the housework done and able to get a few hours sleep before going to work in the morning (at a job environment that felt like it was trying to kill me, but nearly-almost paid the bills )and do homework afterward for a certificate program. My children's fathers didn't pay child support regulalrly or often, and I was was drowning in bills, and I hoped that the certificate would help me transition to a career that was less inhospitable. I started to pick up the cleaning supplies and noticed I was weeping, which turned to sobbing, which turned to me sitting in child's pose on the freshly cleaned and gleaming hardwood floor near the foot of the stairs, saying  through the tears"i don't know how to make it better, please, God, just let me know what I need to do."

 

So, you know.

It wasn't always cozy and isn't always easy.

The pain and discomfort of staying the same was greater than the pain and discomfort of doing something different.

That was ten years ago, and it's been a long journey, filled with many opportunities to go back to living life as though it's a fight and starting each day as though the alarm was a starting gun for the race.

 

By the way, in case you're interested, I did get an answer that night in 2013.

I heard a voice in my head, like I was wearing earbuds or something.

"Go to sleep."

Wait, what? I think I'm losing my mind. I thought. But then I heard it again.

"Go to sleep."

And that sounded like a pretty good idea, so I did.

 

A very powerful story, and thank you for sharing. It seems as though our minds feel obliged to keep pushing us, to convince us we can keep up with everything, no matter what...right up until the moment it all collapses and we just can't anymore. I think most people have had a moment like that in one area of their life or another. In an odd way, those moments of breakdown are a gift, because it's when we finally feel able/authorized/willing to admit that things aren't working and it can't stay the way it is. As you said, that's the only way change happens.

 

On 9/5/2023 at 10:53 AM, Heidi said:

On a completely different note, you know how in tv shows they do that thing where a braniac character gets a simple question and equations start flying around?

Numbers Calculating GIF by netflixlat

Yeah, like that.

I need one of those but for newspapers, articles, and reference books.

On 9/5/2023 at 11:22 AM, Darciana said:

I need that but for engineering things. Like a full working 3D model that shows me the necessary data points I'm looking for. And the equations that best suit the application. And attempting to do mental math with lots of people talking all at once.

 

If you find The Floaties please let me know how so I, too, may acquire this very useful skill.

 

While we're putting in orders (maybe we can get a group discount), I want this ability for vocabulary words in the languages I'm learning.

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:24 PM, Heidi said:

Speaking of Quiet Quitting, which we weren't but hear me out: When did doing your job and not interfering in other people's work become the definition of being a slacker? 

 

This drives me SO BONKERS and I spent so much time shouting at clouds when the quiet quitting articles were making the rounds.

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:24 PM, Heidi said:

So at this point, my team consists of two internal contractors and two external contractors. There's not much communication coming to this corner, and this afternoon one of my teammates said "is everything quietly crumbling?" and another one said "but it's quiet, so don't bother it." and I can't think of a  better way to describe where we all are.

 

That person is my hero  :D 

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:24 PM, Heidi said:

Lots of sailing metaphors going on in my head today.

"We can't control the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails."

"Smooth seas never made for a skilled sailor."

And, not in quite the same vein, but related:

"A ship in port is safe; but that's not what a ship is for."

 

If it's not too presumptuous, I will contribute my favourite ship metaphor: "Look not for not calm seas; seek an able crew, a sturdy ship, and skill at navigation."

 

On 9/11/2023 at 10:26 AM, Heidi said:

Finalize Conference Presentation -- I’m taking a whackadoodle approach to this conference presentation. Everything I write is a discussion; even though it’s resting on a thick bedrock of data and research, I can’t seem to get away from just talking about it like it matters, like it’s interesting, like we all care about these things, like it’s a story. At first, I thought this was a problem but I was just rolling with it and now, in clear proof that I’ve lost my mind, I think it’s a success. The presentation is in three weeks.

 

I don't know...everything I've ever read (from trustworthy sources, anyway) about effective presentations says that the key is to tell a good story. Sometimes you tell a story with the aid of graphs and technical details, sure, but if you don't have an underlying narrative to your scholarly position that's compelling and convincing and interesting, you're not going to get the traction and uptake you want. So it sounds to me like you're on the right track  ❤️ 

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8 hours ago, Severine said:

Your upcoming conference presentation sounds exciting (and taxing)

It is (both)!

And that's just the appetizer for my dissertation, which is a full nine course meal of exciting and taxing.

 

I met with Advisor Neal this afternoon and he's just great. We plotted out a path for next steps, which includes a research precis,  sort of an overview before we get to the actual research proposal. I'm very excited (and taxed) about this, and am looking forward to having it on paper.

 

 I have a Pixel 5 and the screen popped up from one of the corners. I don't really want a new phone beacuse I just love this one, so I called a technician and discussed what i'm seeing and functionality and the like. It's most likely a swollen battery, and if so they'll need to order a new one, which will require two trips: One to diagnose the situtation and one to repair it when the part comes in. Still, it's probably worth it, and in any case I feel the need to have this sorted out before I leave for NY on Monday the 2nd. Even if I end up choosing a new phone (google is having a "birthday sale" that is making the 7a seem wickedly attractive), ordering next week should allow it to get here before I leave (I'm not planning on trading my old phone in because it's just too old to have monetary value, but the camera is amazing and worth keeping just for that).

 

There was no Neighbor Dog issue last night, but after a short post-work rest, I ate and then couldn't sleep, so I settled in with my knitting and some new-to-me television. I wasn't tired until the wee hours once again, but it was a very meditative way to spend the night, and I woke feeling more restored than I have in a long time (still, it was nearly 8; all will be well). I like this. 

 

I still don't have much in the way of appetite, but it's slowly returning. I have some Thursday Soup at the ready.

This is good.

This is the Way.

  • Like 7

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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While I was at work, my phone started getting wicked hot. This is a danger sign, especially with having a swollen battery, so I popped up my google account and checked to see how much credit I have — $125 expires in two weeks. The two together mean that I just plunked a 7a in the cart, clicked the monthly payment option, and checked out. It will be here in about a week. 

 

It was kind of telling when the technician determined that the problem with the screen coming out of the housing was that the battery was swollen. “Are you talking on this phone right now?” I could hear the concern, and I shared it. 

 

Okay, Universe, I hear you. 

 

I’m tired.

The Thursday soup was delicious, and I’m going to try knitting and watching a couple episodes instead of napping, in the hope that possibly I’ll get my sleep schedule back into a more reasonable clock-space.

 

I am content.

May you have peace this day.

  • Like 6

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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I have the 6 pro, waiting on the 8 to drop...I will never have another brand as long as they make them.

  • Like 1

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: SET but not always ready

Spoiler

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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1 hour ago, Heidi said:

While I was at work, my phone started getting wicked hot. This is a danger sign, especially with having a swollen battery, so I popped up my google account and checked to see how much credit I have — $125 expires in two weeks. The two together mean that I just plunked a 7a in the cart, clicked the monthly payment option, and checked out. It will be here in about a week. 

 

It was kind of telling when the technician determined that the problem with the screen coming out of the housing was that the battery was swollen. “Are you talking on this phone right now?” I could hear the concern, and I shared it. 

 

Okay, Universe, I hear you. 

 

I am relieved you upgraded. I know it's possible for phones to catch on fire under certain conditions. Not worth risking your health.

 

28 minutes ago, RES said:

I have the 6 pro, waiting on the 8 to drop...I will never have another brand as long as they make them.

 

Looks like we're all phone buddies. I have a Pixel 6. Will upgrade to the 8 when it comes out, I think, as long as my device is up for renewal with Verizon at the time.

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15 hours ago, RES said:

I have the 6 pro, waiting on the 8 to drop...I will never have another brand as long as they make them.

Same. My first one was the Pixel 2. Never going back.

 

15 hours ago, Severine said:

 

I am relieved you upgraded. I know it's possible for phones to catch on fire under certain conditions. Not worth risking your health.

 

 

Looks like we're all phone buddies. I have a Pixel 6. Will upgrade to the 8 when it comes out, I think, as long as my device is up for renewal with Verizon at the time.

I have Google Fi as my provider, and can't say enough good things about it, fyi. In case you're ever looking for a different carrier.

 

Friends, the large payments to my credit cards have finally shown up on my actual credit report. Total credit card use is down to 25%, which is a very big deal. It's not the complete win, but it's a definie milestone, and I'm excited. My credit score went up accordingly, and all this feels like very positive reinforcement. 

 

My house is clean.

 

My homework is almost done. I have the infographic in progress, and I'm feeling a little wiped out on that front. It's due tomorrow, and honestly, it might not be awesome and great when I turn it in. I'm making my peace with this, and it's difficult.

 

I got eight hours of uninterrupted sleep last night for the first time in a month. This is a big win. I still didn't wake up in time for the gym, but that's okay too. getting my sleep schedule figured out is the priority for this challenge, it would seem. Last night was 10:30-7, so it's in the ballpark.

 

The Cabled Varsity Neckwarmer is coming along nicely. It's at the yoke part, where every other row increases by about 20%, so it's eating up yarn with wild abandon. I had it on a 16" cable when the mantle started, and switched to a 32" pretty quickly, and now the work has gone from stretched over the 32" cable to crammed on it. I'll probably have to transfer it to the 40" cable and start the third skein of yarn over the weekend.

 

I'm taking an early exit from work today (I had 37 hours logged by 5 yesterday) and I'll probably spend the afternoon knitting and reading and resting. This is the Way.

  • Like 5
  • That's Metal 2

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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I am so glad you got a whole night's sleep, that is great news. Can't wait to see the knitting and proud of you for taking some time off when you are logging all the hours. 

  • Like 1

Past Challenges: #1, #2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15#16

Current Challenge: #17

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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3 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I am so glad you got a whole night's sleep, that is great news. Can't wait to see the knitting and proud of you for taking some time off when you are logging all the hours. 

Knitting pictures soon, since I'll be having to put it on and take a gander at it to make some final design decisions. Right now it just looks like a big clump of maroon. :) 

 

Ok, Nerds! Get in, we're making a charater!

 

I'm spending some time this afternoon working my Philosopher-Librarian story.

 

I need to write the backstory and the adventuring journal, but I also need some help crafting some real-life character stats, skills, and setups.

Working from the idea that I'm building a character sheet (like this one), but for my real person, suitable for framing handing to a DM.

Suggestions and insights into this character are welcome. :) 

  • Like 5

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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ok, for real though:
Would anyone like to do a campaign in D&D Beyond?

www.dndbeyond.com/sheet-pdfs/_Heidi__108686474.pdf

  • Like 2

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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I'm already DMing a campaign and don't have time to take on any more RPG stuff at the moment, but I'm happy to help brainstorm ideas! Are you looking to make a character that's close to you in personality, stats, etc? Or are you creating a new fictional philosopher librarian?

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10 minutes ago, Severine said:

I'm already DMing a campaign and don't have time to take on any more RPG stuff at the moment, but I'm happy to help brainstorm ideas! Are you looking to make a character that's close to you in personality, stats, etc? Or are you creating a new fictional philosopher librarian?

Looking to build one like me, including diasbilites, etc. (i have a backstory for the TBI, which fits with being a philosopher librarian and is taken from a random Terry Pratchett reference). Also to build skills, quests, feats, etc. from who I am now.

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&Heidi

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Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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23 hours ago, Severine said:

Looks like we're all phone buddies. I have a Pixel 6. Will upgrade to the 8 when it comes out, I think, as long as my device is up for renewal with Verizon at the time.

I got mine through Google, will probably do the same this time and take the upgrade credit that they generally give.

 

8 hours ago, Heidi said:

I have Google Fi as my provider, and can't say enough good things about it, fyi. In case you're ever looking for a different carrier.

 

I've considered them, I use T-Mobile right now because my kids are on my plan and it's pretty reasonable for all of that.

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: SET but not always ready

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Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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I have some Olympic level negative self-talk abilities, and mostly this doesn’t get center stage any more, but today it’s in the spotlight, calling the tune and dancing the score, shutting out everything else.

 

I don’t feel well physically, and that’s not helping, but that’s not the root of the problem. What has vaulted this smack-talking demon to the forefront is — no, really — my homework. It’s an infographic on communicating the core value of Information Ethics. Look, I should be able to talk about this in my sleep, and chances are that I actually do. So what gives?

 

What gives is the whole infographic thing. I feel seasick every time I open up the document and work with it, and pretty soon the demon-talk starts up.

 

This is ridiculous.

What were you thinking, taking three classes?

You’re going to screw this up — this doesn’t fulfill the assignment and now everyone is going to know you’re just faking it, you don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re a joke. Masters in Library Science? Pee Aitch fucking Dee? Puh-leeeze, you don’t even belong in grad school. How did you ever even get through undergrad? You’re pathetic and you’re wasting everyone’s time making them read your crap.

Now you’ve gone and wasted all this money on tuition which is just doubly stupid since we all know you’re going to be fired any second now and then what will happen? You’re going to be strung out piecing together dogsitting gigs just to pay rent. Again. Loser. 

Your mother was so right.

 

Whew.

This is hard.

 

I’m taking it in small bites, because the demon talk isn’t wrong, (i know you’re jumping up to disagree, but hear me out a minute). Negative self-talk is real because our fears are real. That doesn’t mean they’re accurate mind you; but they’re valid. Yep, it’s true: I’m worried my mom might be right. That’s not something I can change. That’s not even anything I can do anything about. This fear is like a best friend who has bipolar disorder or psychosis or Tourette's Syndrome, and the only way to deal with this fear is compassion. This is scary, and I could mess it up. Yep, graphics and posters are uncomfortable for me (it always feels like I’m being a cheerleader, and Wednesday Addams does not cheer. )

 

A few days ago I chose an infographic template.

I chose icons for the five key elements of Information Ethics.

I chose a template to talk about the key points: Community, Ownership, Access, Privacy, and Security, with a text box for a short definition of each.

This morning I chose colors and listed four key things to discuss for each key point: Longer definition, purpose, scope (who it covers and what it covers), and challenges. Now I’m wallowing in self talk again, and here’s the thing: It’s nearly done, right? All that remains is to literally fill in the text boxes and update the graphics on the  Key Points graphics, which isn’t all that hard. 

 

But.

But the closer I get to completing this project, the louder and brighter the self-talk gets, an inverse of what would be logical. Because fear isn’t logical, it’s impervious to logic. The closer I get to turning it in, the self-talk tells me, the closer I get to humiliating myself.

 

Whew.

This is hard.

 

Yep, here I go, humiliating myself again.

Making a fool of myself since before the moon landing.

 

Thank goodness I have until midnight to turn this in, because wading into this space has to be done in small doses, with breaks in between.

I’m going to have lunch and watch some television and possibly knit before I tackle some of the text boxes.

 

May you have peace this day.

 

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&Heidi

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Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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Best Friends Love GIF by Kennysgifs

 

I feel your pain - but on other levels, because making pretties is my jam.

 

But yeah …. You should have *heard* dead momma while I was in yoga school …. She was a great fuel to remember my ‘why’.

 

Our mothers can suck it. You’re not going to end up in a box down by the River & the devil isn’t going to come get me through yoga. 
 

pee wee herman 80s GIF
*this is not the gif I was looking for - I wanted something akin to ‘you’ve got this’, but … Pee Wee …. 😍
 

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Level 87 Wood Elf Druid

Druid: || 59 | 60 | 61 | 61.5 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 8485 | 86 | 87  ||

Ranger: || 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 ||

||Char/RPG||
STR: 57 || DEX: 59 || STA: 52 || CON: 47 || WIS: 59 || CHA: 59

 

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2 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

Our mothers can suck it. You’re not going to end up in a box down by the River & the devil isn’t going to come get me through yoga

Amen sister, pass the plate.

You get me.

🦋

 

Also pleased to report that Little Bit knows of me as The Butterfly Lady, and I am 100% okay with this. 🙂

@Tanktimus the Encourager brought the healing words of Fred Rogers.

 

Yes, this is hard, and infographic or whatever else may come, this whole challenge is going to be a long one. I feel exposed, because I am.

 

And even so, I am safe. I am loved. I am enough.

❣️

  • Like 6

&Heidi

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Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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4 hours ago, Heidi said:

Yep, graphics and posters are uncomfortable for me (it always feels like I’m being a cheerleader, and Wednesday Addams does not cheer. )

 

But she always makes an effort to be clear on what she means. Cheering has nothing to do with this.

 

You've got this. Don't listen to the Bad Voice.

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The Great Reading Thread of 2024

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scalyfreak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32; Ch 33; Ch 34; Ch 35; Ch 36; Ch 37; Ch 38; Ch 39; Ch 40; Intermission V; Ch 41; Ch 42; Ch 43; Ch 44; Ch 45; Ch 46; Ch 47; Intermission VI; Ch 48; Ch 49

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On 9/15/2023 at 2:11 PM, Heidi said:

Looking to build one like me, including diasbilites, etc. (i have a backstory for the TBI, which fits with being a philosopher librarian and is taken from a random Terry Pratchett reference). Also to build skills, quests, feats, etc. from who I am now.

 

I think I would look at all the major obligations in your life (school, work, health goals, etc.) and make each into a quest or a series of quests. With feats, skills, etc. as rewards for milestones. You could make NPCs to represent helpful people in your life (advisors, friends, etc.) who could show up during the quests and give you boons or aid in some way. And there could also be NPCs who need your help with their quests, if that lines up with your life (dependents, friends in need). For backstory, you could give yourself feats that represent important life accomplishments or lessons learned. Like if you came through a bad relationship and know not to make that mistake again, you could give yourself a feat for resistance or immunity to manipulation or intimidation. 

 

9 hours ago, Heidi said:

I don’t feel well physically, and that’s not helping, but that’s not the root of the problem. What has vaulted this smack-talking demon to the forefront is — no, really — my homework. It’s an infographic on communicating the core value of Information Ethics. Look, I should be able to talk about this in my sleep, and chances are that I actually do. So what gives?

 

What gives is the whole infographic thing. I feel seasick every time I open up the document and work with it, and pretty soon the demon-talk starts up.

 

Fear is powerful and primal. I think it's healthy to look it straight on and realize it's coming from a part of you that really does feel afraid, instead of ignoring it. But you said it - just because those feelings exist doesn't mean they're right and it certainly doesn't mean you have to give them power. They can exist, they can tell you what you think. You're not there to fight or destroy them. You can just calmly listen and decide they're wrong and go on with your life. In many ways, not fighting fear makes it less draining to manage. 

 

This was very helpful for me during my cancer treatment. I became much more comfortable with being afraid and uncomfortable. I got much better at realizing that feeling fear or discomfort doesn't mean it has to be in charge.

 

You are strong, supported, and you're living the life you chose to build for yourself. You're still building. That's power.

  • Like 3

Fitbit  |  Current Challenge  |  Old Challenges:  1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 ~ 20 ~ 21

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I was reading your italics and all I could think was "Shut up, Heidi's Mom!" Ugh, I am so sorry this is such a knock-em-out, dragging event for you. I am in your corner, cheering you on fiercely. You are so loved. ❤️ I believe in you. 

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Past Challenges: #1, #2#3#4#5#6#7#8#9#10#11#12#13#14#15#16

Current Challenge: #17

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

But she always makes an effort to be clear on what she means. Cheering has nothing to do with this.

 

You've got this. Don't listen to the Bad Voice.

 

10 hours ago, Severine said:

Fear is powerful and primal. I think it's healthy to look it straight on and realize it's coming from a part of you that really does feel afraid, instead of ignoring it. But you said it - just because those feelings exist doesn't mean they're right and it certainly doesn't mean you have to give them power. They can exist, they can tell you what you think. You're not there to fight or destroy them. You can just calmly listen and decide they're wrong and go on with your life. In many ways, not fighting fear makes it less draining to manage. 

 

This was very helpful for me during my cancer treatment. I became much more comfortable with being afraid and uncomfortable. I got much better at realizing that feeling fear or discomfort doesn't mean it has to be in charge.

 

You are strong, supported, and you're living the life you chose to build for yourself. You're still building. That's power.

 

8 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I was reading your italics and all I could think was "Shut up, Heidi's Mom!" Ugh, I am so sorry this is such a knock-em-out, dragging event for you. I am in your corner, cheering you on fiercely. You are so loved. ❤️ I believe in you. 

You are all wonderful.

Yes, fear is real, and yes, that self talk is just hot garbage, and also, it doesn't really have a place at the table anymore in my life.

The smack-talk will conitnue until A Particular Thing is behind me, but it's just a demon jumping up and down outside the window, wishing it could get back inside.

Jennifer Connelly Labyrinth GIF

 

The professor wrote and the whole class has an extra day for the project, so I did some extended self care and rested. 

I slept well on a more normal-for-me schedule and I like this.

Today I will do the infographic and all is well -- there is no smack talk to deal with and likely won't be (becuase it was never about the assignment).

Thank you, Friends, from the bottom of my heart.

❤️ 

  • That's Metal 8

&Heidi

Spoiler

Gypsy Druid

Ranger1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ::

Druid8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |:: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |:: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |:: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |:: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |:: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |:: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | :: 70 |

Paladin71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | :: 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 |

Shaman: 82 | 83 | 84

Philosopher-Librarian 85 |:: 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 |

Heidi Chronicles  NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed| MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

 Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) Let's catch up: https://calendly.com/loveandpeace

 

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