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Sovalis: Cozy Coffeeshop Vibes


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5 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I am having a slow morning here, coffee and Bujos and Tarot done, dog chores handled, just need to get dressed and head to work but I don't work until noon. It's 9 now, which leaves a lot of time at loose ends. I am feeling sad and a little lonely today, missing Dave quite a bit right now. Sixteen more days until he's home. It's not so long, but today I just want to cry. I think I might because it will probably make me feel better. We had a quick phone call this morning and I tell you, these three minute chats every other day are really helping, but they aren't a substitute for being in the same room and hearing each other breathe. We aren't really people that live in each other's back pockets, so this emotionality is a bit surprising. I do well when he's gone and even like it most of the time because it gives me freedom to do and eat things he's not into when he's around. But today just sucks and I am feeling hard done by. Army life be like this sometimes. I am also resentful that he's being sent away for another 15-20 days at the end of October-ish that wasn't part of the original plan. I just want him home for a while! I hope, hope, hope that there are no sudden trips between December and when he leaves in February. I would cope, but I really don't want to have to right now. I recognize that this is a mood and it will pass. I am okay, I promise. 

 

I am glad you're okay and know yourself well enough to know what helps you in tough moments. I'm also glad you feel able to come here and be honest and vulnerable and share when things are not all going swimmingly. This forum is oriented toward growth and improvement, so it can sometimes feel hard to share setbacks and low mood and so on. But it's so important that we honour the truth of our feelings and give them space to work out whatever needs to be worked out, rather than stuffing them into the secret compression sack of toxic positivity. 

 

You are wise and strong and cared for, and you'll get through the rough days whenever they come with the aid of all you've learned, all you will learn, and everyone who is eager to support you.

 

5 hours ago, Sovalis said:

It's throwing into relief the fact that certain aspects of the shop were better/different for me and that maybe it was good in the short term but didn't do me any favours in the long term if I am having difficulty being in an environment with constant noise and activity. I wouldn't even say that Jack's is loud. Louder behind the bar where I am, sure, but it's not like an industrial environment or anything. I am trying to approach this with awareness rather than complaining in mind, but I feel a little whiny if I am being honest.

 

This reminds me of discussions I've heard about the relative merits of adjusting our environment to fit our needs (to satisfy introverted preferences, to manage anxiety, to soothe traumatically linked fears, etc.) versus focusing energy on building up tolerance to challenging environments and adapting coping mechanisms. I think the ideal is a mix that ends up being different depending on the person, circumstance, phase of their life, etc. But I have definitely noticed, for myself, that I find certain things (arguments, bullying, etc.) much more upsetting and taxing on me emotionally than they used to be, simply because I have had the luxury of living in a home free of those things for a long time now. Obviously I don't want to go back to being exposed to those things all the time, but I don't want to be fragile, either.

 

I imagine that after a few weeks at Jack's, what feels now like a lot of noise and bustle will recalibrate as something closer to a new default, and you'll feel more comfortable. Humans are very adaptable creatures.

 

I hope your weighted blanket and magnificent dog give you some comfort  ❤️ 

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13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

 

I am really really anxious about the plantar fasciitus flaring up again because I had such limited mobility during the worst of it. The constant evaluation of the injury is starting to fray my patience a little and it gives me a lot of compassion for people with chronic injury or illness and their need to constantly evaluate and determine what they can do with what energetic or mobility resources they have. I haven't been at a job so reliant on my physical capability since I was waiting tables so very long ago and I was young then and took my health completely for granted. *lol* I don't want to compromise this job because I am really enjoying it, so I feel extra pressure to make sure I am not messing things up. 

 

It sounds like the job is at the limits of what your feet can manage, so you'll have to really minimise foot stresses outside the job, at least until your feet get stronger (if that's what happens. Can that happen?) I hope you'll adjust and the feet will be okay, but if they aren't, then it's okay to find a different job, even if this one is a good fit in other ways. Feet first. 

 

13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I just want him home for a while! I hope, hope, hope that there are no sudden trips between December and when he leaves in February. I would cope, but I really don't want to have to right now. I recognize that this is a mood and it will pass. I am okay, I promise. 

 

I hope you get a good chunk of time soon when he doesn't have to go anywhere.

 

13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

 

I am also feeling overstimulated from being at Jack's and the constant music, people, sound of the machines. I am really glad that I have the weekend off to recalibrate because I need it. Four days in a row is a lot for someone who is used to spending their day in silence with functionally no interaction, and today makes Day 5 this week. I knew this was going to be an adjustment. Today it feels more like the mental and emotional side of things than the physical which I have been more tending to out of necessity. One silver lining of Dave being gone is that the tv is staying off when I am home in the mornings and evenings. When he is home it is on all the time and I don't think I would handle that gracefully right now when I am feeling tapped out like this. It's throwing into relief the fact that certain aspects of the shop were better/different for me and that maybe it was good in the short term but didn't do me any favours in the long term if I am having difficulty being in an environment with constant noise and activity. I wouldn't even say that Jack's is loud. Louder behind the bar where I am, sure, but it's not like an industrial environment or anything. I am trying to approach this with awareness rather than complaining in mind, but I feel a little whiny if I am being honest.

 

It's totally understandable that it's overwhelming and that you would need time to get used to it.

Have a lovely restful weekend. ❤️ 

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From one military spouse to another, I can 💯 sympathize with both feeling a joyful sense of freedom and an alternate sense of loss when your partner is deployed.  Both are normal and natural.  It's okay to take some time to sit with those feelings and shut off the TV and the rest of the world.  Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.

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On 9/15/2023 at 9:52 AM, Silmarilliane said:

 

Sorry to hear this, but yes, sometimes a cry really helps. Not sure if useful to you, but when I was talking to my counsellor this year about being lonely at home since my ex moved out, she said that it's OK to feel lonely and that everyone does sometimes, and it makes you know that you appreciate the time with other people more. I found it helped me 'be ok' with it a lot more.

It's possibly also because the time with so many people at work now is really highlighting that Dave's not at home - I hope the days off help you recharge and the cry makes you feel better though :) 

A cry really can help and it did in this case. I think your counsellor is wise. ❤️

 

On 9/15/2023 at 10:20 AM, MaeradCase said:

It sounds like you're processing the big changes, and dealing with the emotions without your preferred emotional support partner. Sorry to hear it's feeling rough, but glad you're facing it with mindfulness.

I think that is part of it, but it's kind of funny because while Dave is my person, he isn't who I go to for most of my emotional support (he doesn't grock emotions very well). But this is a big change and I think it would be going better with a few hugs. 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 10:20 AM, MaeradCase said:

My group once bumped into an alchemist who would brew us the cure for petrification, but we had to risk the petrifying attacks from a flock of cockatrices who could (after being defeated) be used as ingredients for the potion.

That's brilliant. 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 10:20 AM, MaeradCase said:

❤❤

❤️❤️❤️ 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 11:57 AM, Heidi said:

The pressure of not wanting to mess things up is also part of the permanent landscape of chronic injury and illness, along with the relentless monitoring. Thank you for your compassion, and I'm sorry that you have to experience this. May you get to a space where you can take it for granted again!

I went through it for years in my teens and twenties when my hands were borked, but I lucked into a fix for that and it's held. This foot thing is super annoying and I know how minor it is in the scheme of things. I also hope for that space!

 

On 9/15/2023 at 11:57 AM, Heidi said:

You poor thing, this makes the most sense as an approach -- good for you for taking a strategic retreat.

In office work was never my strong suit, and I'll never be able to go back -- it's just too many people! The constancy of emotional noise is worse than actual sounds, and I get saturated within an hour or so, with the rest of my workday still remaining. I totally understand. Please be gentle with youself. Yes, you're lonely, but that doesn't mean that you'll have the emotional bandwidth to receive being in a group, and that's hard, too, since it feels like missing out on the care that you want and need. This is a rough space.

 

I hope you find some comfort this evening, in games or Bujos or tarot or simply calling everything off and decompressing.

Sending love.

❤️

Thanks, Heidi. ❤️ I had a strong drink and ran game. It went well and I felt better afterward. The work shift actually helped a lot, too. 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 1:57 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

Sometimes this is the best answer for too much everything. I hope you find some quiet calm and the next 16 days are kind to you before Dave comes home. 

Thanks, Snarky. 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 3:12 PM, Severine said:

I am glad you're okay and know yourself well enough to know what helps you in tough moments. I'm also glad you feel able to come here and be honest and vulnerable and share when things are not all going swimmingly. This forum is oriented toward growth and improvement, so it can sometimes feel hard to share setbacks and low mood and so on. But it's so important that we honour the truth of our feelings and give them space to work out whatever needs to be worked out, rather than stuffing them into the secret compression sack of toxic positivity. 

 

You are wise and strong and cared for, and you'll get through the rough days whenever they come with the aid of all you've learned, all you will learn, and everyone who is eager to support you.

Thanks, Severine. I am grateful for this community being a safe and supportive space. 

 

On 9/15/2023 at 3:12 PM, Severine said:

This reminds me of discussions I've heard about the relative merits of adjusting our environment to fit our needs (to satisfy introverted preferences, to manage anxiety, to soothe traumatically linked fears, etc.) versus focusing energy on building up tolerance to challenging environments and adapting coping mechanisms. I think the ideal is a mix that ends up being different depending on the person, circumstance, phase of their life, etc. But I have definitely noticed, for myself, that I find certain things (arguments, bullying, etc.) much more upsetting and taxing on me emotionally than they used to be, simply because I have had the luxury of living in a home free of those things for a long time now. Obviously I don't want to go back to being exposed to those things all the time, but I don't want to be fragile, either.

 

I imagine that after a few weeks at Jack's, what feels now like a lot of noise and bustle will recalibrate as something closer to a new default, and you'll feel more comfortable. Humans are very adaptable creatures.

 

I hope your weighted blanket and magnificent dog give you some comfort  ❤️ 

❤️

 

20 hours ago, Harriet said:

It sounds like the job is at the limits of what your feet can manage, so you'll have to really minimise foot stresses outside the job, at least until your feet get stronger (if that's what happens. Can that happen?) I hope you'll adjust and the feet will be okay, but if they aren't, then it's okay to find a different job, even if this one is a good fit in other ways. Feet first. 

I think the feet are already getting stronger, it's just going to be a few more weeks until we are all the way there I think. 

 

20 hours ago, Harriet said:

I hope you get a good chunk of time soon when he doesn't have to go anywhere.

 

It's totally understandable that it's overwhelming and that you would need time to get used to it.

Have a lovely restful weekend. ❤️ 

Thank you, Harriet. ❤️ 

 

19 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Sov, how are you feeling this morning?

 

I hope the shift at work went as well as possible. And i hope you have a relaxing weekend planned?

 

Sending lots of love to you. xx

Hi Sal! The shift was actually pretty great and I am glad that I was there, it really helped me to get out of my head. I spent today resting and doing chores and swinging in my hammock. Tomorrow I will run some D&D for people and do some cooking. 

Lots of love back!! ❤️ 

 

6 hours ago, Everstorm said:

From one military spouse to another, I can 💯 sympathize with both feeling a joyful sense of freedom and an alternate sense of loss when your partner is deployed.  Both are normal and natural.  It's okay to take some time to sit with those feelings and shut off the TV and the rest of the world.  Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.

Thanks, Ever. It really is the strangest state of being and I didn't understand it until I started living it. We have been doing this intensively for four years now so I am largely habituated, but it really hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. I appreciate the offer. ❤️ 

 

43 minutes ago, Severine said:

Beaming positive thoughts to your feet!

Thanks, Severine!!

 

 

Hi Friends!

 

I have a two day weekend that I didn't have to book holidays for that I am not using to travel for the first time in 21 months. I am just at home taking care of things and it is... surreal? And nice? 

 

Today I did coffee and Bujos and Tarot and dog chores, then played Animal Crossing for a while until I got frustrated with the spacing limitations of planting trees. Then I rested in Dave's chair until I decided it was time to address the few dishes (the fruit flies have been bananas here the last two days and the dishes weren't helping that) and clean the very messy microwave. After those chores were done I went into my hammock in the 26C sun and watched YouTube on my iPad for a while, occasionally throwing a stick for Saxon as he brought it to me. Then we came in and I made the espresso burger meal kit, which was tasty but not quite as amazing as when Dave makes the burgers (I didn't mix the meat well enough and my patties wanted to crumble apart). Then I packed up the leftovers and came up to my studio to check in with you all. It has been slow and quiet and I have enjoyed it very much. I have not moved a lot today but wasn't being deliberately lazy either, just slow and restful. I could probably do some time on the treadmill but I am honestly not inclined right now. It's 8pm and I expect I will head to bed and be cozy once I am done on the forums. 

 

I was watching some videos on calorie deficits and thinking around them. I don't know how useful a simple deficit is without restricting carbohydrates is for someone with PCOS but I think I understand the math involved a little better now. The InBody scans that I get done offer a BMR number (my last one was 1749 kcal) which I thought was interesting. I also used the calculator from the Nerd Fitness article on calorie counting and the results came back with only ~100 kcal difference between TDEE estimations with the TDEE based on the InBody being the slightly higher one. I think I might go back to tracking food for a while and seeing how that is lining up with the increased movement from work. I have not been eating balanced or even enough food the last two weeks and I know I do better with that when I am entering my meals into a tracker. I am also not using my chart for the challenge goals in my Avec *at all* so I think I want to draw that up in my A&O and rededicate myself to that process again. I have felt pretty disorganized the last two weeks and I think not having the goal chart be part of my morning Bujo session is a big part of that. 

 

Saxon was resting under my desk with his head on my foot for the first time since we moved into this house. He was there for a little while and just moved a moment ago. It made me feel very loved. He used to do that all the time in the PMQs. ❤️ 

 

I hope that you experience a happy kind of nostalgia today. Thanks for being so good to me by being here. ❤️ 

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Sharing my new challenge tracker because I said I'd get it done. It's going to be sad having that big empty block at the top but that's what I get for not being consistent with working systems! 😅 I don't have many coffee shop related stickers, so used my super cute mushroom stuff instead. 

 

20230917_100126.thumb.jpg.dd06665e96209f0a7335a90a72759353.jpg

 

Many thanks to @Harriet for the Seneca quote. It's really perfect for the new job apprehension. 💜 Off to do more things, will check back later! 

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I just always LOVE seeing your tracking journals.  Seriously they are little works of art!!! ❤️ 

 

13 hours ago, Sovalis said:

It has been slow and quiet and I have enjoyed it very much.

 

YES!  I'm glad you were able to get some restorative time at home this weekend!!

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16 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I got frustrated with the spacing limitations of planting trees

 

Yeah, I planted them until the fully grew, then dug them up and planted them closer together in colour coordination :D

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On 9/17/2023 at 10:14 AM, shaar said:

I just always LOVE seeing your tracking journals.  Seriously they are little works of art!!! ❤️ 

 

 

YES!  I'm glad you were able to get some restorative time at home this weekend!!

Thanks, shaar! It was pretty great! 

 

On 9/17/2023 at 10:32 AM, Harriet said:

Your book is very charming indeed! ❤️ 

Thank you, Harriet. How are your birds? ❤️

 

On 9/17/2023 at 10:35 AM, Everstorm said:

Maybe design a cute little header for the empty space?

That's a good idea. Thanks, Ever. 

 

On 9/17/2023 at 1:23 PM, Silmarilliane said:

Yeah, I planted them until the fully grew, then dug them up and planted them closer together in colour coordination :D

Solid plan! 😁

 

Hi Friends,

 

Two days into my work week. My feet are tender but not quite as bad as they were last week, I think. I batch cooked Zuppa Toscana on Sunday for this week's suppers and that was a smart decision. It allows me to eat and maximize soaking in the tub time. 

 

Something I'm noticing is that I'm spending so much time in the tub that I'm not doing other things in my evenings like writing or game prep. I'm wondering about getting a foot bath to maybe put on the floor under my desk so I can soak feet and write? Seems like it could be messy or inconvenient? I can't imagine I'll need epic baths forever with this job?

 

I'm thinking a lot about NaNoWriMo the past few days and wondering what that might be like this year. I've been watching Sarra Cannon's YouTube series on plotting and it's been good. I'm supposed to be composing a letter for an RPG as well...

 

Meals are still a little out of whack. I made myself sausage, peppers, and eggs for breakfast and had my Zuppa Toscana for supper, but there has been no lunch lately, not even a protein bar. I need to work on that, I think. I'm also out of Mio and am drinking my water without flavour. Not a huge fan but it's not killing me. 😅 I'm so very thirsty when I get home it almost doesn't matter. Almost. 😅

 

I hope you are all peaceful and easy today and that you see a piece of art that you enjoy. Thanks for being here. ❤️

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2 hours ago, Sovalis said:

Thank you, Harriet. How are your birds? ❤️

 

 

I've finished bird number 26! Soon I'll need to think of a different thing to paint.

 

It's very good that your feet are better, not worse, this week. Hopefully you'll get used to it and have no trouble soon. 

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9 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I'm wondering about getting a foot bath to maybe put on the floor under my desk so I can soak feet and write?

 

I've got a collapsible foot bath which I store under the bed when it's not in use - it is a little messy to empty out afterwards etc, but was very useful in lockdown when I couldn't go get a pedi!

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Hey Sovalis! It has been far too long, but I am catching up, slowly!

 

Your BuJo is perfect, and I am definitely taking inspiration and notes. Do you still have a diary entry space for daily entries? I really want to pick the habit back up, as well as actually using a bujo for organising things like my challenges, life projects, etc. But I only want to use one, maximum two books to do so!

 

 

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11 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

I've finished bird number 26! Soon I'll need to think of a different thing to paint.

 

It's very good that your feet are better, not worse, this week. Hopefully you'll get used to it and have no trouble soon. 

Yay 26!! That's wonderful! 

Yes, hopefully. I expect it to take another week or two yet. 

 

5 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Sov, so glad you are smashing it at work :D

 

Foot spa could be a really good idea, for under the desk!

 

xx

Thanks, Sal! ❤️

 

4 hours ago, Darciana said:

Hi Sov! Just popping in to cheer you on as you navigate the work schedule and adjustments to life outside of it.

Thank you, Darciana! 💜

 

4 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

I've got a collapsible foot bath which I store under the bed when it's not in use - it is a little messy to empty out afterwards etc, but was very useful in lockdown when I couldn't go get a pedi!

🥳

 

4 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Hey Sovalis! It has been far too long, but I am catching up, slowly!

 

Your BuJo is perfect, and I am definitely taking inspiration and notes. Do you still have a diary entry space for daily entries? I really want to pick the habit back up, as well as actually using a bujo for organising things like my challenges, life projects, etc. But I only want to use one, maximum two books to do so!

Hi Rho! 

I use two books for my daily practice, a B5 Archer and Olive dot grid journal (the one you see my charts in) and an A5 Hobinichi Cousin Avec. The Cousin has three sections: a monthly calendar, a weekly spread with daily times listed, and daily pages. Let me get you some pictures:

 

20230920_101349.thumb.jpg.55e27a8c342eaa99664e1778b20b676f.jpg

 

20230920_101402.thumb.jpg.97bf342612b17c10bf5d7991c063c5d9.jpg

 

20230920_101421.thumb.jpg.acd75d103cdb9c966f0e464699cbf112.jpg

 

I really like the Cousin because a page in the morning is a good amount for me. If I want to do additional journaling I do it in my dot grid journal. The Avec specifically comes in two books, one for January - June and one for July - December. I went with it because I use a lot of washi and stickers and that bulks things up pretty quickly. The regular Cousin has the whole year in the monthly/weekly/daily format all in one book. I went with the Archer and Olive dot grid because it has 160 GSM paper and that holds up to light watercolour when I want to bust that out. Hope that information is useful to you. Let me know if you have questions!!

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“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

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On 9/17/2023 at 12:35 PM, Everstorm said:

Maybe design a cute little header for the empty space?

I like this suggestion! Maybe use some of the loot drop washi tape and / or stickers?

The foot bath sounds like a solid approach, even if it's just a bucket that you already own.

 

I like how you're putting gratitude in the monthly blocks; veery nicely done!

And I'm just fetched by the fox washi tape. :) 

 

Hope you are having a great day.

 

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1 hour ago, Everstorm said:

I keep thinking about NaNoWriMo, too, but I don't know that I can find the time.  And yet I keep thinking...

Mine went too well last year that I think I ought to continue my editing bend. Not to mention I don't want to do both DMing and writing. 😅 Sovalis, have you considered asking your players for a month off to write (with or without offers to let them read what you write)? They're both such time- and energy-demanding tasks. 😅

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Level 11 Ranger

Spoiler

Previous challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 89, 101112

Current challenge:  to face the trials of this life at my own speed, savoring my accomplishments, and accepting my failures with peace

 

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I have only completed Nano two years when I was at university. I usually make an attempt and stop by November 15th…. It has been a while since I seriously attempted it.

 

Also I love your journals! The cousin book layout looks especially great, love all the stickers and washi tape.

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"Always remember, your focus determines your reality." - Qui-Gon Jinn, The Phantom Menace

"I Find That Answer Vague And Unconvincing." - K-2SO, Rogue One

”Persistence without insight will lead to the same outcome.” [spoilers], The Book of Boba Fett

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Your daily gratitude blocks are amazing. ❤️  And I had to giggle at the sticker for your day off that said "no bra day"!!!! Always a triumph IMO!!

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Tell me, if you had the strength to take another step, could you do it?

Level ?? Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart

STR.55  DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65

 

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