[DarK_RaideR]

This challenge is sponsored by @deftona . Was lovely to meet her in person last week and  I can assure you she’s even more awesome in person than her online presence would indicate.

 

Hello nerds! Good to be back after taking the last challenge round off to regroup. I’d originally written a bunch of stuff for this thread, but then I quit my job two days ago and realised all of my writing was all just me rambling, so I canned it.

 

Did what?

 

“But D_R,” I hear you say, “before this, you spent like 4 years essentially unemployed, and with no right to benefits or another source of income! You were so excited when you finally got hired, what the hell?” And to that I say, friend, no job or salary is worth risking your integrity, self respect and mental health the way I had to. Furthermore, I had that fun, fun, fun experience while getting paid just about enough to cover the bills and leave me with anywhere from 100 to 300 Euros for groceries and to get through the month. Could type pages upon pages on what it was like and how I made the decision, but I won’t. Instead, here’s a word from our other sponsor of this challenge, @Jarric :

 

He is a wise man.

 

This really resonated with me and I think a lot of you can relate. We all start working out and eating well with our noob gains and weight losses, then suddenly once you’re past the point where exercise is joy instead of punishment or obligation, it’s kinda the rest of your life that actually needs the adjustment. Personally, I realised several challenge rounds back that it was my mental health, employment status and financial standing that needed fixing before I can hope for any sort of consistency with eating and workouts. That fixing is exactly what I did and quite frankly, this last major development of me quitting my job probably falls under the same umbrella.

 

So what now? Well, as you might know if you’ve been following me, I’d already been looking for another job and even did interviews with 5 different employers, none of which amounted to anything afterwards. Might have been the August holiday break, but for me to quit before I landed my next gig, that tells you everything about how bad it was. And you know what, I’ve never felt more sure that I was doing the right thing, nor have I ever felt more relieved after such a decision. Therefore, I am using the opportunity to really assess what’s next, instead of just taking the next similar job available and probably going through the same cycle again. Feels like I’m at a crossroads and ready to make some big changes

 

I’m aware some would call it a…

 

Joking aside, I’m seriously considering major changes. Working in a different sector. Renting out my house. Moving to a different country. And it’s not a case of if/then/else, there’s a good chance I’m doing more than one, if not all of the above. Neither is it a knee jerk reaction either, I’m not fresh back from holidays abroad and thinking about moving where I was instead of facing the daily grind here, nor did I walk out of a job wanting to start my entire life from scratch and fix what went wrong. When I joined these forums ten years ago (!) I was just transitioning from a student to a worker status. Hate to say "was just starting my career" because I don't believe in careers. Either way, I’m no longer at that start, I know what I want out of the rest of my life and unless I’m bold enough to change some major parameters, I’m not going to achieve it within my current framework. It’s all big and new and scary and exciting and I need the structure of an NF challenge to help me wrap my mind around it. Merely having to get it out of my head, type it out, put it to words and explain it to someone else forces me to do some of the mental heavy lifting, instead of just having stuff floating in my head all at the same time and making me feel overwhelmed. Trust me, there’s a masterplan to it all.

 

Not like that… Well, not quite like that

 

With that said, GOALS!

 

The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat
I quit just a few days after I got paid, which provides a nice, albeit -let’s be honest- totally imaginary and more temporary than I'd like to think, monetary pillow. Got all my bills and obligations mapped out, those with a deadline (or accruing interest past a certain deadline) will be prioritised and the rest will have to wait, gotta play it smart here to not burn up my resources so I can stay afloat as long as possible. Survival is one thing, but put this in the greater framework of my plans and serious expenses could be involved. On the bright side, the family took my employment decision well, wished me the best and even offered to step in and provide funds if necessary (you might be aware of our history, so that’s big news). Either way, I’ll be closely tracking finances on the daily and to make this a proper SMART goal, I’m aiming to at least not be in the negative by the end of the challenge.

 

The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment
I honestly, seriously want to explore the options in regards to living and working in other countries, possibly on other subjects too; law is pretty nation-specific so it’s not exactly transferable outside the borders plus quite frankly, at this point I’m seriously doubting if I want to continue pursuing this line of work. There’s some practical stuff to look up, then there’s a bit of soul searching to be done. Not easy to set a goal in this context, but I’ll say “spend a working person’s 8 hours a day on this project”. I used to work a nominal 10 hour schedule that would regularly get extended with no overtime pay, so this is lightweight stuff in comparison but it should at least keep me focused on the objective, give me a reason to get up (early-ish) in the morning and prevent me from just dragging my corpse around the house doing essentially nothing like it’s 2020 lockdown (oh, the memories). Adding two more parameters to this bit, first, for flexibility because life happens, since I’m sort of simulating a 9-5/day 40 hour work week, I’m allowing myself two days off a week because I can also do my project work on weekends. Second, before signing off of this “work” every day, I am to show up here and post an update. Not a “yeah I did bother doing this” one liner but rather a detailed report of everything. Should hold me accountable, make sure I’m actually getting things done instead of just mindlessly browsing to tick the box and as a happy side effect, should ensure I’m more present and engaged on the NF forums.

 

The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house
Short term this is me doing maintenance and having a decent place to live, but also in the long run (see previous goal) if I do end up moving out, I’d like the flat to already be in a good state so I won’t have to also manage renovations at that point before I can rent it out (or even sell it, who knows). I’ve talked a few times in the past about how the place has been falling apart, ever since, I’ve managed to replace my ‘04 bed that had become a Frankenstein’s monster of boards and screws with a new one. I also gave my ‘04 sofa to the next door neighbours, replacing it with a new one that apparently wasn’t a good fit for my parents’ home. Fortunately, they switched all the fabrics to some new pet friendly stuff before shipping it over and it’s great, cat’s won’t scratch it and hair is so easy to remove. Furthermore. I’ve managed to gradually declutter most of the place (wardrobe included), greatly reducing the visual noise, the stuff I hadn’t been using and freeing up storage space. Next step is to give the walls a new coat of paint and apparently my dad’s hyped to come over and help with that. Should save us expenses, plus there’s that quality father-son bonding experience. So the main point here is to arrange and pull this off, but I’m also keeping the space under this goal to make reports about any other home-related updates.

 

The oddball goal: Duolingo
I’ve been meaning to check out Duolingo for a while to brush up my German. Actually got it on my phone though during the road trip around Serbia. Sadly, it’s got no Serbian courses, but since I’d downloaded it already, I pulled the trigger on those German courses. Been on a streak for a couple of weeks now and just last week, I added Spanish too; I’ve picked up lots of it through the years, might as well nail down the basics. It’s the same with Italian, depending on my brain capacity I might add that one too. Obviously, the point here is to keep up the streak and do my daily lessons. Plus languages are fun, but it also opens up my options for moving out and adds to my employment odds, so it fits nicely into the masterplan.

 

 

[deftona]

Following to see all your nefarious plans come to fruition! 

[TimovieMan]

[Snarkyfishguts]

Cheering you on through this transition!

[Jarric]

2 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

“spend a working person’s 8 hours a day on this project”.

 

That's a great commitment mate, I'm sure you'll go a long way if you keep up with that.

 

2 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

I pulled the trigger on those German courses. Been on a streak for a couple of weeks now and just last week, I added Spanish too; I’ve picked up lots of it through the years, might as well nail down the basics. It’s the same with Italian, depending on my brain capacity I might add that one too.

 

I had no idea you spoke so many languages - that's mega impressive man.

 

ETA: following to see your plans come to fruition, but also the music here is awesome 🤘

[DarK_RaideR]

2 hours ago, deftona said:

Following to see all your nefarious plans come to fruition! 

Nefarious?

 

52 minutes ago, TimovieMan said:

 

12 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Cheering you on through this transition!

I'll take all the cheering I can get, welcome!

 

3 minutes ago, Jarric said:

That's a great commitment mate, I'm sure you'll go a long way if you keep up with that.

It's not the work, it's the decisions that'll take me a long way. But I need to put in the work in order to be able to make informed decisions.

 

4 minutes ago, Jarric said:

I had no idea you spoke so many languages - that's mega impressive man.

Thanks, I'm good with English and German (Greek too, obviously) but wouldn't go as far to say I speak Spanish or Italian. Just picked up words and phrases through the years, to the point where I can pick up the general context of a conversation or trade a few phrases. Hence the decision to go there with Duolingo, might as well impose a bit of order, understanding on all that random knowledge, make things a bit more deliberate.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm really glad you're back, and proud of you for having the integrity and wisdom to leave that job behind.

 

Y buena suerte con aprendiendo español. 

 

Fun fact, my Greek professor (κοινή only) learned from a professor from Mexico, and it was contemporary Pronunciation rather than that Erasmian stuff. All that to say I speak Greek with a Mexican accent.

[DarK_RaideR]

12 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Y buena suerte con aprendiendo español. 

See, I only got "buena" and "español" out of that sentence.

 

14 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

All that to say I speak Greek with a Mexican accent.

Let's watch lucha libre or Southern American football together sometime, anything with such passionate commentary is pure gold,  regardless of whether one knows the language or not.

[shaar]

Hi fellow quit-your-job-like-NOW and throw caution to the wind friend!! It’s a solid choice and I am proud of you for making it for yourself. 
 

Will catch up on your intro post a little better tomorrow but wanted to say HERE for this and to support you!!

[starpuck]

Wow wow wow.  I am so impressed with the courage and boldness you have my friend.    You spoke on a lot of things that I feel about for myself, but I'm not quite ready to jump on those big changes yet.

I'll be here fan girling over your leap into the next chapter.

Cheering you on and supporting you!

 

Also.  Jarric is right.

The music in here is 🤌

[DarK_RaideR]

8 hours ago, shaar said:

Hi fellow quit-your-job-like-NOW and throw caution to the wind friend!! It’s a solid choice and I am proud of you for making it for yourself. 
 

Will catch up on your intro post a little better tomorrow but wanted to say HERE for this and to support you!!

HELLO HELLO AND WELCOME!!!!!

 

7 hours ago, starpuck said:

Wow wow wow.  I am so impressed with the courage and boldness you have my friend.    You spoke on a lot of things that I feel about for myself, but I'm not quite ready to jump on those big changes yet.

You probably would have loved the wall of text I'd originally typed for the first post. Entire treatise (with links to video essays!) going from fitness into life stuff and mental health, then the isolation of modern living, performative masculinity, the search for purpose and meaningful connections... 

 

7 hours ago, starpuck said:

Also.  Jarric is right.

The music in here is 🤌

Alright then, gonna take that gif as my cue:

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

9 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

See, I only got "buena" and "español" out of that sentence.

"And Good Luck with learning spanish." Not sure if that's how that sentence would be constructed by a native speaker.

 

+1 for Allman Brothers

[WhiteGhost]

15 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

We all start working out and eating well with our noob gains and weight losses, then suddenly once you’re past the point where exercise is joy instead of punishment or obligation, it’s kinda the rest of your life that actually needs the adjustment

Yeah, this really resonates with me as well.  Fitness is great and all but when it becomes an enjoyable hobby, focus needs to shift to things that really need fixing

[DarK_RaideR]

Thursday, Week Zero update. Sort of

 

The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat
I had all sorts of thoughts and plans on this all day, but late in the afternoon I decided that instead of juggling theoretical scenarios of my expenses and obligations, it'd be better to ground the whole thing. Thus, I ended up paying a lot of my bills and taxes, which immediately takes them off the table and leaves me with a more realistic number on funds actually available. Also made the executive decision to decline my parents' offer to join them on a 10 day trip they've booked to Jordan for late October, because that'd cost them some 1.400 Euros which I'd much rather they save in case I need it for something more important. This ties into my next two goals and already I'm seeing how hard updates are gonna be when everything is so intertwined.

 

The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment
I'm not on the 8 hour schedule just yet, but that doesn't mean I'm wasting time. Spent a good chunk of the morning re-writing the first post of this thread, as I was determined to get some thoughts in line and put them to words; wanted to have this challenge posted within the day and I managed to do just that. I then went throuh some emails I had to answer regarding legal stuff that wasn't related to my former job: clients I took on before I was hired, minor favours for friends and family. Still not completely done with this, but I'm leaving the major stuff for tomorrow.  Later in the day I made some calls and looked up flight tickets. No, not Jordan, that entire trip is booked though an agency, more on that under the next goal.

 

Le sigh. Updates are gonna kill me until the end of this.

 

The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house
So, flight tickets, the Jordan trip, how does it all tie together and why is it under the goal regarding house painting. Might as well break down the four key aspects before I continue:

 

1) To quote @deftona and her challenge thread, "TH fucked his colleague a couple of weeks ago so I kicked him out. Since then I have been calling on the love and support of my exceptional friends and family who have been utterly amazing. Including our very own Dark Raider who took a short detour to come and visit me when he was over in London. He's even more excellent in person than he is online." (Thanks for the compliment btw, I've already said she's just as great). Either way, now that work no longer imposes time limitations on me, deffy told me she'd applied a while back to take her annual leave from her workplace in mid September, originally in order to make some trip abroad with TH, but then he did what he did; now she's got her days off with no grand plans, so if I could find a reasonably priced flight within my financial planning, I was welcome to visit again.

2) Municipal elections are set for Oct. 8th and 15th. Back in 2015 when I was a candidate for the city council (with no real hope or interest in actually getting elected, it was more of a PR campaign as I was at the time starting to practice law in my home town) one of my mom's cousins was also on the same ballot; she got elected, served as Deputy Mayor, then got re-elected in the same post in the 2019 elections. Now she's going for mayor herself and my mom is among her candidates. This means if I apply to run elections and get paid, I can't be in an area where my mother is candidate, but if I'm appointed someplace else I won't be able to vote for her. Either way, I'm making the trip to my hometown around those dates.

3) As my dad told me, he's gonna have to visit two weekends, one to do prep work (move furniture, make a list of equipment needed, pick and buy paint etc) and one for the actual painting. His original plan was to do the first one next weekend (16+17) which means a good chance of this coinciding with deffy's days off, assuming that visit's gonna happen.

4) From what I was told just today, my parents have bought two packs from a travel agency to do a 10 day trip of Jordan in late October - early November.

 

In trying to combine all of the above, I came up with this schedule: save the mid September dates for a potential visit, have my dad do his first visit on Sep.30-Oct.1, travel with him to my hometown, spend those two election weeks there, return on Oct.16 and have him visit on the 21-22Oct. weekend for the painting. He loved the idea, because later dates means cheaper tickets, plus we get to travel together and they get to spend 2 weeks with me around. That's when he told me about the Jordan trip btw, inviting me to join. I'd have to talk with my mom for the specifics though, as she was the one that'd made the arrangements. This brought up two things, one, I volunteered to supervise an election center on election day as a representative of the -not-really-a-party my mom's a candidate with since I'll be around anyway and can't get paid to run the elections as a representative of judicial authorities, two, more important, in talking with her I was told the cost of the Jordan trip and decided to not join but they'd already booked tickets to come over late October - early November because their trip begins on those days, leaving from my town. This means my original plan would involve painting on Saturday, then my dad leaving for that trip on Sunday, which is probably going to be pretty exhausting for him at 65 years of age. Thus, the entire plan to paint the house might be moved to earlier dates.

 

Editing the post I'd written last night but never got around to posting, for an addendum: Spent more time looking at flights before going to bed and ended up booking those tickets for mid September. Prices aren't gonna get any cheaper, nor am I going to spend significantly less if I stay home and be miserable on those days. Housepainting can happen at later dates if necessary. Needless to point out, this affects all my goals above.

 

The oddball goal: Duolingo
Did both my German and Spanish lessons, pushing the streak to 21 days. I've decided as long as I have the time to do classes, I'm giving myself two mistakes/hearts for each language. Once I've burned those up for the first one, I'll switch doing lessons for the other and once I'm down to 1 heart/mistake I'm done for the day.

[shaar]

Ok, have finally had the chance to sit down and read what you're up to and I am sitting here howling in like kind at THIS:

 

On 9/7/2023 at 5:32 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

And you know what, I’ve never felt more sure that I was doing the right thing, nor have I ever felt more relieved after such a decision. Therefore, I am using the opportunity to really assess what’s next, instead of just taking the next similar job available and probably going through the same cycle again. Feels like I’m at a crossroads and ready to make some big changes

 

Yes, yes, YES, all the yes.  I am right there with you in all of this spirit, and I'm happy for you!!  Our destiny is limitless damnit.

 

FUCKING STOKED FOR YOU. You're already setting some amazing groundwork too. ❤️ 

 

[Heidi]

What’s that you say? 

A complete transformation?

Tearing it down at the cell level and rebuilding it from the material you have to make it into something that soars?

Welcome to the Way of the Butterfly.

 

I am so here for this.

[DarK_RaideR]

8 hours ago, shaar said:

Yes, yes, YES, all the yes.  I am right there with you in all of this spirit, and I'm happy for you!!  Our destiny is limitless damnit.

 

FUCKING STOKED FOR YOU. You're already setting some amazing groundwork too. ❤️ 

Our destiny is like the breadsticks at Olive Garden. Unlimited.

 

36 minutes ago, Heidi said:

What’s that you say? 

A complete transformation?

Tearing it down at the cell level and rebuilding it from the material you have to make it into something that soars?

Welcome to the Way of the Butterfly.

 

I am so here for this.

Way of the Butterfly, you say?

 

Everybody sing along with me now...

 

[Jarric]

On 9/7/2023 at 1:15 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Y buena suerte con aprendiendo español. 

 

On 9/7/2023 at 1:29 PM, DarK_RaideR said:

See, I only got "buena" and "español" out of that sentence.

 

That's interesting; I got aprendiendo as well, from the context and the guess that it would be related to the French apprendre (to learn). It's nice when languages overlap - I often wonder how much easier learning languages would get if I had a handful under my belt.

[DarK_RaideR]

Friday, Week Zero update. I guess

 

The pressing, short term goal: Stay afloat
Kept expenses to the bare minimum, only going to the supermarket for very specific groceries that will become meals till next Wednesday. Stark reminder of how expensive all food items have become. Is there even reason to budget when you're not even making enough to get by in the first place? Like, this sort of financial planning implies you have some sort of surplus you're trying to use wisely instead of wasting it away. When you don't even have that, it's simply doing what you need to survive and get by. Follow me for more insight regarding the bleakness that is life under late stage capitalism.

 

The substantial, long term goal: Adjust living and employment
So I did the 8 hours today. Wasn't productive as hell, at least in the sense that any office job would measure productivity, but it still yielded results. I basically got most of the logistics done early on, which left me with enough time to get groceries or take a shower. Guess it's comparable to my workrate just before I quit anyway. Whatever the case, feels like I've made progress and did not waste the day.

 

- First in line was a review of various pending legal cases, unrelated to the firm I used to work for. Some are cases I took up before I was hired, some were stuff I was doing on the side to help aquaintances and relatives. I'm looking to wrap these up if possible, otherwise check the deadlines, court dates etc because that ties into my potential decision to resign from the bar and quit law altogether. If I start that process, I'll no longer have the right to submit papers or do hearings, so it affects the timing of when I'm gonna step out of the legal world, assuming I'll actually do that (I most probably will).  There's some stuff, like one case that's due to hit the courtroom floor on November of 2024, that goes way too far down the road and I'll probably have to let someone else handle. So managing that and working out how to tell people is a thing. For now, I ended this bit with a better idea of the landscape. Still waiting for some info I asked some clients for, as well as one case in my hometown's courts, which I'll check in while there for the elections.

- Speaking of quitting the legal world, I'm aware that involves a certain bureaucratic procedure between the bar, tax and insurance authorities but wasn't sure of the order and where to start. So I reached out to a former coworker (not from the job I quit, the office before that) who had recently told me she went through exams to be a courthouse admin employee. Figured she's looked into this "no longer a lawyer" thing, if not been through it already. Which was the case and fortunately, the authorities have caught up with the digitized world and everything can now be done online. Which is great, because under the previous status quo, I had to fill in applications and be present in person. A hassle, until you realize my tax folder is with the authorities in my hometown, so I'd have to go there and do what's necessary. Kind of the reason why I looked this up already, if I was headed south for the elections that was also an opportunity to get this done. Won't have to though, it's all electronic now. Also, I now know what the process is and where to start from.

- I also looked up flats for rent in the area, comparable to my own. Seems they go anywhere  from 450 to 800 a month. I'm thinking 500-600, which is on the low end of what I could rent my flat out for, but I'm not in it solely for the money. Don't wanna be that landlord and if I'm gonna be out of the country, might as well take a small profit loss if it means I can rent it out to someone who's not a complete stranger, someone I can help with their housing issue and also trust to pay up on time, not wreck the place and hopefully stay long term so I don't have to look for new tenants soon. Either way, it's a welcome potential passive income.

 

Had some more desk work that needed doing, but that can wait for another day. Instead, I gave myself permission to rest, live life and spend the remaining time allocated for project work on soul searching. I also muted my mom on her messenger platform of choice, as she's these days basically running on two modes: one is "I'm not taking this election thing too seriously, but also I'm oh so moved by people's reactions and how they're putting the word out for me without me asking them", your typical narcissistic trip of pretending to not care but desperately wanting to be the main character with what they're experiencing; the other is ye most basic vanilla boomer out of touch talking points imaginable, which I've heard for years before I got hired in the job I recently quit. Neither of these two modes is helpful right now, but shutting all that out really is.

 

I did however enertain the thought of running her two "decision making" scenarios because there's a bit of wisdom to them. One is what you'd ask for from your fairy godmother if it could be done with a wave of her wand, essentially meaning if you factor out realism, limitations, obligations etc what is it that you really want. My answer was more or less what my Masterplan is building towards, so that was a nice affirmation that my mind and heart are on the right path. The other, even funnier if you ask me, is a variation of the first, what would you do if had absolutely nothing in life; no family or friends, no ownership of anything. I'm saying it's funny because the way she originally tried to sell it to me, she was basically implying I should appreciate the support of my family and all the material wealth they've offered me. Which I do, don't get me wrong, but let's be honest, this is leading towards her usual arguments for what she thinks would be the best scenario for me and my personal favourite, the whole land property thing being a boon (that I reap no rewards from) that I'll eventually have to take care of (but until then it's only anchoring me). Anyway, the fun part is that even without all this context, my response was even more emphatic. As in, if I had none of that, I'd probably have done what I'm doing now way earlier, instead of messing around trying to make it as a lawyer here. Like seriously, I'd have to get a job asap in order to survive. I'd have slaved away for a while in some law firm before I came to the same conclusion I've come to now:

Yeah I'd have bailed to another country, no matter what. All these "assets" weren't actually a boon; won't call them a bane holding me back, but they were certainly smoke and mirrors, tricking me there was hope and potential and a future when in fact there was none. Here I am at 37 years of age, willing to live in a hole and work a minimum wage job if it means getting the hell out of here.

 

Finally managed to set up a zoom call with the wonderful @Heidi , whose wisdom I always appreciate and it was wonderful to catch up again. We mostly talked about what I've written so far, some more personal stuff I haven't typed here and we definitely need to do a repeat!

 

The materialistic goal: Spruce up the house

Didn't get to do much in regards to this bit, besides maybe groceries and cleaning up a pile of dishes, including several pots and pans from foods I've recently cooked. I did however get a call later in the day, apparently my dad will be flying in on Thursday evening on the 28th, which gives us Friday and Saturday to do prep work in the house before we fly south together on Sunday Oct. 1st for the election fourthnight. Still no word on my return, which will probably happen on the 16th or more importantly, the actual painting, which I'm guessing will happen in October after their Jordan trip.

 

The oddball goal: Duolingo
Spent a good chunk of time doing German classes on Duolingo, my 2 mistakes were actually typos I hadn't noticed. Switched to Spanish lessons and I was doing equally well, but decided to stop before my 2 mistakes. If I felt like it had been too long, then it probably was too long. Besides, I'm just brushing up my German so I can do a bunch of lessons but I'm just learning Spanish so it's better to give my brain some time to sort out the information instead of cluttering it with data it will most likely dump out.

[Heidi]

2 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Our destiny is like the breadsticks at Olive Garden. Unlimited.

 

Way of the Butterfly, you say?

 

Everybody sing along with me now...

 

Gonna use this as the music for my morning t’ai chi from now on.

 

45 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Is there even reason to budget when you're not even making enough to get by in the first place?

This is Truth. When I was living on finite fumes financially, I was in the same boat. I took my bank balance, divided it by the number of weeks I wanted to live and then spent that. Now, granted, this weird and left many things unpurchased and barely-paid. Like who pays her rent on a weekly basis (friends, I did)? I also picked up a lot of gigs — most notably some dogsitting gigs through the Rover app, but also housecleaning and random one-off tutoring or basically anything folks needed — and used that to supplement. In addition, I sold a bunch of items, just put them up on Facebook Marketplace or the like and if someone made me an offer I said yes and added those funds to the weekly  coffer. It was awful and I ate like a Buddhist Monk: water, lentils, rice, barley, etc.

Capitalism is a crime against humanity.

 

56 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Instead, I gave myself permission to rest, live life and spend the remaining time allocated for project work on soul searching.

This is the Way.

 

58 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

we definitely need to do a repeat!

Absolutely. Always good to see you, no matter the time in between.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I can sense the relief in you through reading your post. I'm glad you are finding peace.

[Sovalis]

Here to follow along. 

[RES]

On 9/7/2023 at 5:32 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

no job or salary is worth risking your integrity, self respect and mental health the way I had to

On 9/7/2023 at 5:32 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

there’s a good chance I’m doing more than one, if not all of the above.

As someone who has picked up their life and moved it on multiple occasions I cannot recommend this enough...my biggest regret is it was never to a new country, though I didn't have the ability to do that living where I do 😕 

[DarK_RaideR]

On 9/9/2023 at 1:00 AM, Heidi said:

Absolutely. Always good to see you, no matter the time in between.

Let's not leave as much inbetween time again though, shall we?

 

On 9/9/2023 at 1:33 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I can sense the relief in you through reading your post. I'm glad you are finding peace.

There is indeed relief, although it's only temporary before reality comes crashing down again and I need to set things in motion. The question is whether this relief will give me the mental fortitude to push through when the going will inevitably get rough. So far I'm pretty optimistic, let's see how it goes.

 

On 9/9/2023 at 1:56 AM, Sovalis said:

Here to follow along. 

Hello and welcome!

 

10 hours ago, RES said:

my biggest regret is it was never to a new country, though I didn't have the ability to do that living where I do 😕 

Different places, different parameters. In a way it's comparable to moving to another state, in another way it isn't because of visa requirements, different languages etc.

[DarK_RaideR]

Saturday update. Summary, more like.

 

I'd scheduled stuff for the day before this challenge, before I quit even, so I gave myself the day off challenge-wise.  Got a haircut in the morning, then had a coffee with a friend I hadn't met in a while. He was excited about my updates and wished me well. Should mention by the way, I have yet to meet a single person who hasn't been excited about me quitting and didn't congratulate me for it, even people who had no idea of the toxic work environment involved. They never ask how come, how I'll manage or what I'm doing next, their honest immediate reaction is to simply celebrate and congratulate me. Has work, any line of work, become so shitty by this point where quitting unto itself is a win, regardless of any other context?

 

Later in the evening I also met with some friends and former fellow students of my latest Masters class. Last time we'd met was almost a year ago, when I'd just landed that job, so there was much to catch up on. Also back then, one of the girls had started leaning into her passion for wines and doing some classes; she'd suggested next time we go to some wine bar and I had just the place in mind this time, where it just so happens that I have a friend working as waiter and sommelier. Wouldn't you know it, not only were these people also excited about my plans and updates, the girl I mentioned had a story much similar to mine: she works at a hospital as a physiotherapist, had a bit of a meltdown this summer (I'm surprised she didn't have it during the days of COVID as a healthcare worker), is fed up with working conditions as well as the overall state of this rotting society, planning to do a 5 year training program in Sweden regarding healthcare politics that ends in a PhD, see where it takes her from there and cherry on top, is also kinda struggling dealing with her mom's reaction in all of this. Don't know, on one hand it's sad to see others like this, but on the other it's kinda validating of my thought processes and decisions.

 

With that said, the night turned into a celebration of new beginnings. My friend working there took real good care of us, stuck around to chat when he wasn't too busy, suggested a great bottle of wine and brought us an extra dish plus both desserts free of charge. I'm pretty sure he shaved a bit off the bill when it was time to pay as well. Speaking of which, this had been booked over a week ago, so I just rolled with it and decided it would be my only "treat yourself" spending, budget be damned. Turns out aforementioned friend (wine enthusiast and potential migrant to Sweden) also has her birthday in 4 days, so she wanted to treat us by paying for the wine bottle and a wonderful Australian black angus flap steak tagliatta my working friend had saved for us. That's some 100-130 off the bill to be split by four, meaning I ended up paying something like 20 for all this fancy experience, keeping me well withing my budget #winning