[Kalitraz]

I'm wanting to use this challenge to better grasp and control the difference between me and what I think of myself, vs what others see me as vs what I see in the mirror.  I feel that I see the invisible bad parts of myself in the reflection. The parts that don't show to other people, but that I know are there. I see my worst aspects and have trouble focusing on the outward version of me that others seem to see. Call it imposter syndrome, poor self-esteem, idk. I feel like the me I see in the mirror is the worst version of myself, and I want to work on knowing that what is in the mirror is far from the whole story and that that creature in there can't get out again to run my life into the dirt with inattention, slothfulness, addiction, distraction, instant gratification, etc. Improving my physical reflection is of course part of getting healthy, but I want to know that the invisible parts of myself are improving too.

 

GL everyone and thanks for following along.

 

 

Goals (final grade B-):

1. Improve bookends of my day. Routines for how I start and end my days.
   • Morning Routine
     • Make bed.
     • Put dishes away while making coffee.
     • Make sure Lillie (our black lab) has food and water before work.
     • Dress like an actual person going to work, even tho I work remote and only need to appear presentable from shoulders up.
       • Also want to work to keep my desk clean while working form home.
     • Dental hygiene and medicine.
   • Afternoon/Evening Routine
     • Laundry, and folding! No more piles of unfolded clothes on the couch.
     • Homework, stay on top of or ahead of assignments. Have a 30 page research paper I'm going to have to stay on top of.
     • 15 min housekeeping
     • Deliberate check-ins with my wife. Talking about our days/plans/feelings/schedules/ etc. Not just being 2 people that live in the same house. I don't think this is a problem atm, but as long as I am working out routines I want to follow daily I figure it's a good one to deliberately cultivate. (and I may have needed 1 more to make the routine bullets x out of 10 )
     • Consistent dental hygiene and medicine
2. Continued fitness progress
   • Daily intentional walking, 1.5 miles min while walking the dog.
   • Continue with NF app body-weight workouts and 'daily  wins' on schedule.
   • Intermittent fasting, no eating before ~11am or after 8pm.
   • Logging all food.
3. Self-Esteem,  Mindfulness, Gratitude
   • Daily journaling. Doesn't need to be much, even just 2 min.
   • Some intentional time for self-reflection/meditation/mindfulness. Probably will just naturally tie into journaling.
   • Mirror time, stare down my reflection. Try not to hate it....

 

Table and color-coding grading system stolen copied shamelessly from @TimovieMan. Thank you!

 

	Bad	Poor	Ok	Good	Excellent	Frequency	Notes
Intermittent Fasting: Feast Window	> 12 hours	≤ 12 hours	≤ 10 hours	≤ 9 hours	≤ 7 hours	Daily	Usually aim for eating btw 11am-8pm
Calorie intake (food logging)	> 2500 cal	> 2000 cal	≤ 2000 cal	≤ 1800 cal	≤ 1600 cal	Daily	Ballpark figures are good enough. BMR about 2k. Not logging counts as Bad
Daily Bookend Routines	< 4	4-5	6-7	8-9	10	Daily	out of the 10 daily routine bullets
Homework / Reading	Not Done	Minimum	1 Day	2 days	3	Weekly	All HW reading done + days reading/research
Journaling & Meditation	< 2	2x	3x	4x	≥ 5x	Weekly	More focused on consistency than length.
Curfew	≥ 11.30 pm	≥ 11.00 pm	< 10.30 pm	< 10.00 pm	< 9:30 pm	Weekdays	Wake up 6:30am Weekdays N/A for weekends
Steps	< 4,000	≥ 4,000	≥ 6,000	≥ 7,500	≥ 9,000	Daily	Smartwatch numbers
Avg Daily Distance	<1.0 mi	>1.0 mi	> 1.5 mi	> 2.0 mi	> 2.5 mi	Weekly
BW Workouts	< 1	≥ 1	≥ 2	≥ 3	≥ 4	Weekly	Goal: Aprox every other day

 

Bad

Poor

Baseline

Good

Excellent

Lagging

On Track

 

*Am refining this throughout the challenge so if a later table doesn't match, know that this key has been updated since it was posted.
** Exceptions: Wednesdays I don't get home until 11 or later due to evening classs and 2 hour drive home afterward. As long as I'm in bed by 11:30 I'm gonna count those nights as ok/yellow. Thursdays are DnD night and we go to about 10pm my time. Not gonna change the scale for those but I need to keep it in mind. On weekends several of my daily bookend routines do not apply but I'll still grade myself for how well I applied the ones that do still apply, just may not be listed as out of 10.

 

Challenge Progress so Far:

Spoiler

	Week 1
	M 9/11	TU 9/12	W 9/13		F 9/15	S 9/16	S 9/17
Intermittent fasting			11-6	12-6:30	12-8	12-7	12-8
Calorie intake	1600	1,200	2,100	1500	2600	1800	1800
Daily Bookend Routines	6	7	8	8	8	*weekend	*weekend
Homework / Reading
Journaling & Meditation	3x
Curfew			class night		10.3	9:45	9:45
Steps	6,300	6,700	7,200	6,400	4,000	4,500*	7900
Avg Daily Distance	Avg. 2.7 mi
Workouts	2x
	Week 2
	M 9/18	TU 9/19	W 9/20	TR 9/21	F 9/22	S 9/23	S 9/24
Intermittent fasting	12:30-8:00	1:30-8:00	30 min	12:30-6	12-8.30	12-12	12-8:30
Calorie intake	1400	1000	1,100	1,800	1200	Didn't log	Didn't Log
Daily Bookend Routines	8	7	8	8	9	*weekend	*weekend
Homework / Reading
Journaling & Meditation	4x (Tues, Wed, Fri, Sun)
Curfew	11* Aurora	10	11:30* Class	9.45	12:30	1:00
Steps	10,000	9,800	7,700	5,400	14,000	7,600	12,500
Avg Daily Distance	Avg. 4.1 mi
Workouts	2x (Mon,Sat)
	Week 3
	M 9/25	TU 9/26	W 9/27	TR 9/28	F 9/29	S 9/30	S 10/1
Intermittent fasting	10-7	11-8	10-8	10-8	9-7	11-7	12:30-7:30
Calorie intake	2800	1,100	didn't log	2,000	didn't log	didn't log	2100
Daily Bookend Routines	6	7	6	6	8	*weekend	*weekend
Homework / Reading				Thurs, Sun, ...
Journaling & Meditation	(Tues, Wed, Fri,...)
Curfew	9	9:30	10	10:30	10:30	10:00	10:30
Steps	7,100	1,500	2,000	1,750	4,400	8,200	8,300
Avg Daily Distance	Avg. ~2 mi/day
Workouts	(Tues, ...)
	Week 4
	M 10/2	TU 10/3	W 10/4	TR 10/5	F 10/6	S 10/7	S 10/8
Intermittent fasting	12-8	1-8	12-10	12-7	12-7	1-8:30	1-9
Calorie intake	2,100	1,700	2,700	1,800	didn't log	2,000	1,800
Daily Bookend Routines	7	7	6	4	6	*weekend	*weekend
Homework / Reading	Thurs, Sun, Mon, Wed			Fri, Sun
Journaling & Meditation	Mon, Fri, Sun
Curfew	10:30	10	12	11:30	10	9:45	9:15
Steps	7,000	6,500	5,800	6,800	6,100	6,900	5,700
Avg Daily Distance	Avg. ~3 mi/day
Workouts	Sunday
	Bad	Poor	Baseline	Good	Excellent	Lagging	On Track
	Week 5
	M 10/9	TU 10/10	W 10/11	TR 10/12	F 10/13	S 10/14	S 10/15
Intermittent fasting	12-8	12-7	11-10	11-9	11-8	8-9	1-7
Calorie intake	1,700	1,800	Bad ~2,800	Bad ~2800	Didn't log	1,800	1,200
Daily Bookend Routines	7	5	5	3	6	*weekend	*weekend
Homework / Reading	Fri, Sun, Wed			Thurs, Sunday
Journaling & Meditation	Wed, Fri, Sun
Curfew	10	10	11:30	11	10:30	9	9
Steps	6,700	11,500	6,700	2,100	4,000*	7,100	6,800
Avg Daily Distance	2.8 mi/day
Workouts	0
	Bad	Poor	Baseline	Good	Excellent	Lagging	On Track

 

 

I deliberately kept my last challenge pretty simple, focusing on respawning and getting back into the swing of things. Adding on a few more tasks this time, building to bigger and better things and a healthier me.

[Elastigirl]

I love your plan of having routines.

[Kalitraz]

I'd kinda wanted to set this up as competition btw myself and my worst-self but kept quibbling over how I'd measure points or hitpoints etc. and almost didn't post a topic for this challenge at all so am postponing that idea for a while. I do like having an antagonist that I'm working against, even if it's just a worse me. I am slightly worried that I am adding too may things to try and change/track at once but several of them are things I'm already doing, but perhaps a little less consistently than I'd like to.

 

I think I'll be going back to refine the initial post a little so there might be a few small changes.

[Jackdaw]

I don't think counting the points is that important. You will feel if you did well or not and getting in two many details can only make it more stressful. 

 

Maybe having fewer goals is a good idea. I was thinking about refining it myself too. 

 

The idea of mirror makes me think about this song:

zG0NX0Eu67w5v8pB

 

I love it so much! 

[Kalitraz]

Cool song. Not my genre usually but I like it.

Things starting off pretty well so far. Been walking and logging my food. Kept to morning routine and evening. I did forget to journal/reflect yesterday. Am not sure that I will necessarily journal daily. Maybe 3-4 times a week is more realistic.

[Elastigirl]

On 9/11/2023 at 7:36 AM, Kalitraz said:

I'd kinda wanted to set this up as competition btw myself and my worst-self but kept quibbling over how I'd measure points or hitpoints etc. and almost didn't post a topic for this challenge at all so am postponing that idea for a while. I do like having an antagonist that I'm working against, even if it's just a worse me. I am slightly worried that I am adding too may things to try and change/track at once but several of them are things I'm already doing, but perhaps a little less consistently than I'd like to.

 

I think I'll be going back to refine the initial post a little so there might be a few small changes.

Sounds like a good plan.See how it works, and then if  you want, you can tweak the challenge to make it work better

[WolfDreamer]

I love your challenge goals @Kalitraz because they are personal, and because you include what might appear as "little things," but you and I both know that little things make a big difference.

 

 

[TimovieMan]

Yay, someone likes my colour-coding enough to steal it! 😁

 

 

Hope you enjoy the log system as much as I do. 😇

[Stronkey Kong]

Fish tank pics?

[Kalitraz]

31 minutes ago, Stronkey Kong said:

Fish tank pics?

Had to compress it down quite a bit and lights aren't playing quite right with the camera but here it is! Rocks don't quite match but they are ones I've grabbed on various hikes. Found the root on a hike a couple weeks ago. Looked like a small pine that had been cut down and the root ball had been out weathering for a few years. Tested the tank with just it first to see if it'd break down too much but it has done well so far. 7 Black neon tetras in there atm. Had a couple shrimp in there before the fish but IDK how many survived. Saw at leas one as I snapped this pic but I don't know that it has a super long life ahead of it 😅. Have 2 other tanks teeming with them so I don't feel tooooo bad. More fish should be delivered tomorrow. My town has a pretty sad pet store. I ordered 2x Apisto Macmasteri, 8x Orange Venezuelan Corys, and 6x Ottos.

 

[WolfDreamer]

24 minutes ago, Kalitraz said:

Had to compress it down quite a bit and lights aren't playing quite right with the camera but here it is! Rocks don't quite match but they are ones I've grabbed on various hikes. Found the root on a hike a couple weeks ago. Looked like a small pine that had been cut down and the root ball had been out weathering for a few years. Tested the tank with just it first to see if it'd break down too much but it has done well so far. 7 Black neon tetras in there atm. Had a couple shrimp in there before the fish but IDK how many survived. Saw at leas one as I snapped this pic but I don't know that it has a super long life ahead of it 😅. Have 2 other tanks teeming with them so I don't feel tooooo bad. More fish should be delivered tomorrow. My town has a pretty sad pet store. I ordered 2x Apisto Macmasteri, 8x Orange Venezuelan Corys, and 6x Ottos.

 

 

I'd follow yours and @Stronkey Kong's lead and get a tank of my own, but I have cats... and irresponsible kids.

[Stronkey Kong]

2 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

Had to compress it down quite a bit and lights aren't playing quite right with the camera but here it is! Rocks don't quite match but they are ones I've grabbed on various hikes. Found the root on a hike a couple weeks ago. Looked like a small pine that had been cut down and the root ball had been out weathering for a few years. Tested the tank with just it first to see if it'd break down too much but it has done well so far. 7 Black neon tetras in there atm. Had a couple shrimp in there before the fish but IDK how many survived. Saw at leas one as I snapped this pic but I don't know that it has a super long life ahead of it 😅. Have 2 other tanks teeming with them so I don't feel tooooo bad. More fish should be delivered tomorrow. My town has a pretty sad pet store. I ordered 2x Apisto Macmasteri, 8x Orange Venezuelan Corys, and 6x Ottos.

 

Nice!

 

I wanted to do MacMasteries in one of my tanks but my water isn't right for them. They'd survive but probably wouldn't breed. They're gonna look great in there though. 

 

1 hour ago, WolfDreamer said:

 

I'd follow yours and @Stronkey Kong's lead and get a tank of my own, but I have cats... and irresponsible kids.

 

My cat could not care less. Though I lost a betta once to a former roommate's cat. 

 

Kids are the bigger issue probably, but get a couple guppies and teach them about responsibility and boundaries etc.

[Severine]

On 9/10/2023 at 7:47 PM, Kalitraz said:

Kalitraz vs Zartilak

 

I see what you did there   

 

Love the focus on routines, as they're a compound interest sort of improvement. Always seems to improve everything else by proxy if you start and end your day well.

 

On 9/10/2023 at 7:47 PM, Kalitraz said:

No more piles of unfolded clothes on the couch.

 

I am so with you on this.

 

 

On 9/10/2023 at 7:47 PM, Kalitraz said:

Deliberate check-ins with my wife. Talking about our days/plans/feelings/schedules/ etc. Not just being 2 people that live in the same house. I don't think this is a problem atm, but as long as I am working out routines I want to follow daily I figure it's a good one to deliberately cultivate.

 

Oh man, so important. Wisdom.

 

On 9/10/2023 at 7:47 PM, Kalitraz said:

	Bad	Poor	Ok	Good	Excellent	Frequency	Notes
Intermittent fasting	< 12 hours	≥ 12 hours	≥ 14 hours	≥ 15 hours	≥ 17 hours	Daily	Usually aim for eating btw 11am-8pm
Calorie intake (food logging)	> 3000 cal	> 2500 cal	≤ 2000 cal	≤ 1800 cal	≤ 1600 cal	Daily	Ballpark figures are good enough. BMR about 2k.
Daily Bookend Routines	< 4	4	6	8	10	Daily	out of the 10 daily routine bullets
Homework / Reading						Weekly	All HW reading done + ...
Journaling & Meditation	< 2	≥ 2x	≥ 3x	≥ 4x	≥ 5x	Weekly	more focused on consistency than length.
Curfew	≥ 11.30 pm	≥ 11.00 pm	< 10.30 pm	< 10.00 pm	< 9:30 pm	Weekdays	Wake up 6:30am Weekdays N/A for weekends
Steps	< 4.000	≥ 4.000	≥ 6.000	≥ 8.000	≥ 10.000	Daily	Smartwatch numbers
Avg Daily Distance	<1.0 mi	>1.0 mi	> 1.5 mi	> 2.0 mi	> 2.5 mi	Weekly
BW Workouts	< 1	≥ 1	≥ 2	≥ 3	≥ 4	Weekly	Goal: Aprox every other day

 

 

This is a thing of beauty.

[Kalitraz]

Mostly just experimenting with the table more, but here's a bit of a check-in. Not going as well as I'd hoped to start out, but now that I've worked out a framework for what I'm working towards I think it''ll start going better. Gotta get those green and blue boxes!

 

	Week 1
	M 9/11	TU 9/12	W 9/13	TR 9/14	F 9/15	S 9/16	S 9/17
Intermittent fasting
Calorie intake	1600	1,200
Daily Bookend Routines	6	7
Homework / Reading
Journaling & Meditation
Curfew
Steps	6,300	6,700
Avg Daily Distance	Avg. 3 mi
Workouts	None so far

 

[Sylvaa]

On 9/11/2023 at 10:36 AM, Kalitraz said:

I'd kinda wanted to set this up as competition btw myself and my worst-self but kept quibbling over how I'd measure points or hitpoints etc. and almost didn't post a topic for this challenge at all so am postponing that idea for a while.

 

Easiest way would be to assign points by colors; Bad = 2 pts for your Antagonist, Poor = 1 pt for your Antagonist, Okay = 0, Good = 1 pt for you, Excellent = 2 pts for you. Goal would be to end the challenge positive points. You could write  a formula to automatically calculate points, so you wouldn't even have to do anything after setting up the formula. (I spend way too much time in Excel).

 

You do have a lot to your challenge, but the big thing is what is "new" versus what is established that you want to improve versus what are you already doing consistently and just want to track? If it were me, I'd keep "new" to a minimum and focus on being more consistent on the things you are already doing. As you get them consistent, you'll be tracking more, but it'll be less work since it's already established. 

[Kalitraz]

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

Easiest way would be to assign points by colors; Bad = 2 pts for your Antagonist, Poor = 1 pt for your Antagonist, Okay = 0, Good = 1 pt for you, Excellent = 2 pts for you. Goal would be to end the challenge positive points. You could write  a formula to automatically calculate points, so you wouldn't even have to do anything after setting up the formula. (I spend way too much time in Excel).

Yes I think I could apply points fairly easily now. Will probably try to add that tomorrow or Friday once I have a little extra time.  When I wrote that I hadn't stolen the color-coded table yet. Can you have formulas check a cell's color? I'm working in google sheets so idk how different that is, but I'm also just not a spreadsheet wizard.

[Sylvaa]

7 minutes ago, Kalitraz said:

Yes I think I could apply points fairly easily now. Will probably try to add that tomorrow or Friday once I have a little extra time.  When I wrote that I hadn't stolen the color-coded table yet. Can you have formulas check a cell's color? I'm working in google sheets so idk how different that is, but I'm also just not a spreadsheet wizard.

 

There is an addon you can get that includes a CELLCOLOR formula ability. I didn't see it available in traditional Google sheets.  The other thing you can do is assign the values based on the ranges in each cell. It's a longer formula, but doesn't require an additional addon. 

[TimovieMan]

2 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

When I wrote that I hadn't stolen the color-coded table yet.

Last time I checked, my colour-coded table was still there. 😇

 

 

2 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

Can you have formulas check a cell's color? I'm working in google sheets so idk how different that is, but I'm also just not a spreadsheet wizard.

Such a formula does not exist on its own in Google Sheets, but you can add a script to make a custom formula that does what you want. You're bound to find that easily online.

 

The other way around is easier. Conditional formatting can change the colour of a cell based on a formula.

[Harriet]

On 9/11/2023 at 4:47 AM, Kalitraz said:

I'm wanting to use this challenge to better grasp and control the difference between me and what I think of myself, vs what others see me as vs what I see in the mirror. GL everyone and thanks for following along.

 

What do you think of yourself, and what kind of shenanigans is mirror-you up to? Is your best self trapped in the mirror, or is your mirror self a weakly villainous shadow? Either way good luck, and may you have charts of blue and green. 

 

 

 

[Kalitraz]

8 hours ago, Harriet said:

What do you think of yourself, and what kind of shenanigans is mirror-you up to? Is your best self trapped in the mirror, or is your mirror self a weakly villainous shadow? Either way good luck, and may you have charts of blue and green. 

 

Bit of both. I had another extended post that I hid because I was feeling self conscious about how personal it got, but you make a good point that it also deleted alot of what I was getting at with the me vs the mirror theme. I had kinda hoped that I could go back and review the post that I hid, but no luck.

 

The short version is that I feel that I see the invisible bad parts of myself in the reflection. The parts that don't show to other people but that I know are there. I see my worst aspects and have trouble focusing on the outward version of me that others seem to see. Call it imposter syndrome, poor self-esteem, idk. I feel like the me I see in the mirror is the worst version of myself, and I want to work on knowing that what is in the mirror is far from the whole story and that that creature in there can't get out again to run my life into the dirt with inattention, slothfulness, addiction, distraction, and instant gratification. Improving my physical reflection is of course part of getting healthy, but I want to know that the invisible parts of myself are improving too.

 

I have a pretty full day today, but I will add it to my to-do list to rewrite out some of the narrative side of my challenge.

[Harriet]

2 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

The short version is that I feel that I see the invisible bad parts of myself in the reflection. The parts that don't show to other people but that I know are there. I see my worst aspects and have trouble focusing on the outward version of me that others seem to see. Call it imposter syndrome, poor self-esteem, idk. I feel like the me I see in the mirror is the worst version of myself, and I want to work on knowing that what is in the mirror is far from the whole story

 

That sounds familiar 🙂 it seems to afflict a lot of us.

 

2 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

and that that creature in there can't get out again to run my life into the dirt with inattention, slothfulness, addiction, distraction, and instant gratification. Improving my physical reflection is of course part of getting healthy, but I want to know that the invisible parts of myself are improving too.

 

Glorious victory to you, visible or invisible ⚔️

[Severine]

19 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

The short version is that I feel that I see the invisible bad parts of myself in the reflection. The parts that don't show to other people but that I know are there. I see my worst aspects and have trouble focusing on the outward version of me that others seem to see. Call it imposter syndrome, poor self-esteem, idk. I feel like the me I see in the mirror is the worst version of myself, and I want to work on knowing that what is in the mirror is far from the whole story and that that creature in there can't get out again to run my life into the dirt with inattention, slothfulness, addiction, distraction, and instant gratification. Improving my physical reflection is of course part of getting healthy, but I want to know that the invisible parts of myself are improving too.

 

 

I can relate to a lot of this, but I am also going to push back on some of your negative/judgemental language choices because I think it can be emotionally harmful (and, from a pragmatic standpoint, counterproductive) to frame things with these ideas of parts of us being the enemy, being weak or stupid or unworthy.

 

I'm big into neuroscience and biology more generally as a helpful neutral framework to both understand our struggles and help us come out on top, so let me suggest another interpretation: there are parts of you that developed when human beings needed to survive in a very different environment from the one we live in today. That focus on novelty that makes you so prone to click on phone notifications? That is what would keep you alive when you noticed one tiny thing that looked different about a bush in the forest compared to a thousand other bushes, and prevented yourself from stepping on a venomous snake. That urge to pursue instant gratification is what would have helped you seize every single opportunity in a world when opportunities were scarce and seizing them was the difference between life and death. The desire to eat rich foods and sit around watching TV? That is the instinct to maximize calories and minimize metabolic output that would keep you alive during a harsh winter or a drought. The susceptibility to dopamine stimulus that renders certain substances and behaviours addictive is the same reward pathway that would motivate you to keep hunting, keep fighting, keep searching for a mate when you were exhausted and everything seemed hopeless but you were so driven toward your need that you kept going anyway.

 

So yes, those things are part of us. They're there for good reasons...that mostly no longer apply.  Sadly, we can't wait for human evolution to catch up and improve the fit between human physiology and environment, because we're alive right now. None of this is your fault. It's bigger than you and me. What we can do is understand it and try to manage it as best we can. We can use the rational parts of our brain to design environments, systems, and coping mechanisms to deal with these quirks we've got and not let them rule us. And we can do that a lot better if we're able to see the situation in a neutral way and not get our feelings all tangled up in it.

[Kalitraz]

11 hours ago, Severine said:

So yes, those things are part of us. They're there for good reasons...that mostly no longer apply.  Sadly, we can't wait for human evolution to catch up and improve the fit between human physiology and environment, because we're alive right now. None of this is your fault. It's bigger than you and me. What we can do is understand it and try to manage it as best we can. We can use the rational parts of our brain to design environments, systems, and coping mechanisms to deal with these quirks we've got and not let them rule us. And we can do that a lot better if we're able to see the situation in a neutral way and not get our feelings all tangled up in it.

 

I understand the evolutionary logic behind how these traits developed, but I don't excuse them because of that. The idea of personifying them in the mirror creature is kinda me rationalizing them but also villinizing and othering them. I know they are features, not bugs, but I also am going to restrain and isolate those parts and not let them run free as they will; my rational mind is in charge. Those tendencies can't be completely removed, but I can weaken, limit and restrain them.

[Severine]

4 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

 

I understand the evolutionary logic behind how these traits developed, but I don't excuse them because of that.

 

Oh, 100% with you. I rail pretty hard against the "there's a reason it's like that, so it will always be like that" mentality. We're not prisoners of biology. I just meant that knowing there's a reason gives you a starting place for improvement that isn't rooted in self-judgement or shame. Sorry if I was unclear (it was late, haha).

 

4 hours ago, Kalitraz said:

The idea of personifying them in the mirror creature is kinda me rationalizing them but also villinizing and othering them. I know they are features, not bugs, but I also am going to restrain and isolate those parts and not let them run free as they will; my rational mind is in charge. Those tendencies can't be completely removed, but I can weaken, limit and restrain them.

 

Sounds like we share goals/outlook but just frame it in different ways. Apologies if I misunderstood what you were saying as self-excoriation if you didn't mean it that way. It is a tendency of my own I need to push back on, so I might have just been projecting. I just want to make sure fellow nerds are giving themselves a fair shake   

 

Anyway, I'm curious what techniques, approaches, and mental framing are useful for you in strengthening the power of your rational brain over more basic urges. Will be curious to see how you tackle this challenge and steal any ideas I like!

[Kalitraz]

5 hours ago, Severine said:

Sounds like we share goals/outlook but just frame it in different ways. Apologies if I misunderstood what you were saying as self-excoriation if you didn't mean it that way. It is a tendency of my own I need to push back on, so I might have just been projecting. I just want to make sure fellow nerds are giving themselves a fair shake 

 

I appreciate it and I may have answered back a little too forcefully. I've just had family members who try and use that sort of logic to excuse just about any vice and it has left a sour taste in my mouth. I probably did mean it a little too harshly against myself. Thanks for having my back when I wanted to attack myself 😅.