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Emma: PATIENCE! And persistence.

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I just did four pushups. FOUR! Damn it. I used to do a lot more. This is discouraging.

 The past nine months have included two ambulance rides, numerous ER and hospital stays, three attempted defibrillations, a month in bed with a heart rate of 180, two heart surgeries (one of which included numerous defibrillations). I have lost so much strength and endurance, it’s pathetic. I tire quickly and I hate that. I have to tell my boss no when he asks for overtime and I hate doing that. But I have to.

 Okay, looking back at what I just wrote, I guess I have  been through rather a lot lately. I need to be patient with myself. And keep going with what exercise I can do.

 So PATIENCE! And persistence. But mostly PATIENCE!

 Goal is daily exercise. Whatever I can do. I want my strength and endurance back.

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how are you feeling after covid? I imagine that's not helping anything either. 

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Level 69 Battle Kitten

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                                                                                                                                                                 Ici je vis la vie que j'ai choisie

Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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New seat cushion in van is helping.

walking only today. 
 Bought a ninja blast yesterday. Today made my first smoothie. Blueberry yogurt, one half banana, frozen berries. Poured into bowl and topped with cereal. Yummy, but my blood sugar didn’t like it. :( 

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Made another smoothie today but added frozen spinach on top of the berries. Oh that is so delicious and I didn’t even taste the spinach.

 Was planning to go to the gym but I  am just tired. So physically fatigued. Two days off and all I want to do is sleep.

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And I’m back to four pushups.

 Feeling very very tired the past few days. Haven’t been able to finish a shift due to crashing fatigue. Feeling tired after just a couple of minutes of walking, having trouble climbing stairs. Legs feel very tired all the time. Seeing doctor on Monday. Side effect of new meds? Got fed up with taking all the pills and feeling worse instead of better so I just stopped taking all but the two that I know are actually helping keep me alive and one I’ve been taking for years so I know how it affects me.

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Watching Anchors Aweigh. From 1945 with a very young Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

 Walked and did dumbbells during the state of the Union. All the way through :) Maybe I’ll make it through work tomorrow.


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Primary care doc on Monday said I did the right thing by quitting the meds. Next step is unresolved at the moment.

 Cardiologist this afternoon. I am not recovering as well as he expects me to be. Sigh. On the afib reddit most people have very fast recoveries, some, though, take six months. I’m going to give myself a six month goal and not stress about it. 

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