Jump to content

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

#1 Web blockers - Doing ok here!

#2 Use music - Keep forgetting to be mindful about it.

#3 Go outside - Today I noticed how irritable I started to get from the lack of walking and outside time. So I went out despite the foot soreness.

 

 

Big congrats on noticing moods!!!

Level 38 [Raveling Bard]

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Weeeell funny story. I haven't been to the gym because I... got impaled by a sewing needle. I'll spare you the gross foot close up, but almost the entire needle went in, blunt side first, and walking has been a bit painful.

Taking the Looney Tunes theme a bit far, are we?

image.png.edd4f4f1e2dec6e7ea1107d99a6fa924.png

  • Haha 6

Life before Death

Strength before Weakness

Journey before Destination

 
Link to comment

Oh dearie me things are not going well. 
 

Yesterday I walked to the gym, but by the time I got there I was too tired, so I just hung out in a coffee shop for a bit. I didn’t think too much about it, but then on my walk back I got absolutely wrecked by plants. My throat was itchy and felt swollen on the inside, I started coughing and it was all really, really unpleasant. I showered and changed clothes but it took all afternoon to start feeling normal again. I never had a reaction like that before, only mild slowly creeping allergy symptoms. 
 

Then my grandma was grumpy and didn’t take her pills and kept talking and talking and talking until at least 1 am, at which point I finally was tired enough to pass out despite the noise. Then I woke up at 6 - and she was still talking. Ughh. I left the house to do some work on the website, which was exceedingly frustrating because of fucking Meta.
 

When I got back my grandma was complaining about chest burning pain and her blood pressure was high so had to send her off to the hospital. Luckily her carer dropped by just as I got in so she dealt with most of it.

 

Now my grandma seems absolutely fine, she’s grumpy and impatient as hell, doesn’t remember why she needed to go in the first place, complains about the hospital going to shit because nobody has seen her (because she doesn’t remember) and we’re waiting for the doctor to release her. If not she’s going to escape. 

  • Sad 6
Link to comment
21 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Then my grandma was grumpy and didn’t take her pills and kept talking and talking and talking until at least 1 am, at which point I finally was tired enough to pass out despite the noise. Then I woke up at 6 - and she was still talking. Ughh. I left the house to do some work on the website, which was exceedingly frustrating because of fucking Meta.
 

When I got back my grandma was complaining about chest burning pain and her blood pressure was high so had to send her off to the hospital. Luckily her carer dropped by just as I got in so she dealt with most of it.

 

Now my grandma seems absolutely fine, she’s grumpy and impatient as hell, doesn’t remember why she needed to go in the first place, complains about the hospital going to shit because nobody has seen her (because she doesn’t remember) and we’re waiting for the doctor to release her. If not she’s going to escape. 

 

We went through similar things with Dumbledore's mom for a couple years before she passed away. She did not trust most of the doctors, so she would not take her pills. Then things would get bad. She would get scared and she would call Dumbledore or his brother to come rescue her. They would make her go to the heart clinic, where she would argue with the doctors for several days. Eventually she would agree to treatment. Her blood chemistry would improve and she would be a reasonable human again, at least until the paranoia kicked in again. It was super frustrating.

 

She lived by herself and both her sons live halfway across the country. It was a expensive plane flight or a 19 hour drive to get there. I'm sure she could have lived several more years if she had just been willing to take care of herself or accept help from people. She was happier living on her own terms.

  • Like 1

Level 77  Viking paladin

My current challenge  Battle log 

Link to comment

That sounds rough, sorry. 

On the allergies, do you have a weather app that says what allergies might be in the air? Then you can see if something is unusually high. If it isn't, maybe something you eat is triggering it? Fruit, especially overripe fruit can sometimes trigger my allergies like that..

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

Link to comment
On 5/13/2024 at 6:11 PM, Mistr said:

We went through similar things with Dumbledore's mom for a couple years before she passed away. She did not trust most of the doctors, so she would not take her pills. Then things would get bad. She would get scared and she would call Dumbledore or his brother to come rescue her. They would make her go to the heart clinic, where she would argue with the doctors for several days. Eventually she would agree to treatment. Her blood chemistry would improve and she would be a reasonable human again, at least until the paranoia kicked in again. It was super frustrating.

 

She lived by herself and both her sons live halfway across the country. It was a expensive plane flight or a 19 hour drive to get there. I'm sure she could have lived several more years if she had just been willing to take care of herself or accept help from people. She was happier living on her own terms.

Oof that sounds incredibly frustrating. So far my grandma isn't that bad. It just gets worse on the weekends. The combination of boredom and having a different carer makes her grumpy and then she sleeps all day and refuses to do anything herself. But she also won't ask me or accept help and things spiral.

 

On 5/13/2024 at 9:03 PM, Kishi said:

Good grief, you got a lot going on! What a stressful couple of days. I'm sure it's hard, but I hope you're finding time for yourself to rest and recover. I'd probably loosen up on goals for a couple days just to ease some pressure, but you do you.

Yeah I basically took two days off to play games, I was really fed up with everything.

 

On 5/13/2024 at 11:58 PM, Elastigirl said:

That sounds rough, sorry. 

On the allergies, do you have a weather app that says what allergies might be in the air? Then you can see if something is unusually high. If it isn't, maybe something you eat is triggering it? Fruit, especially overripe fruit can sometimes trigger my allergies like that..

I checked, but it's honestly meaningless when there's at least 20 different types of tree within a 50 meter radius! And that's not even including all the grasses and weeds.

  • Like 5
Link to comment

This has not been a great week. Monday/Tuesday I just couldn't be bothered most of the time. I worked a bit on the website, but most of the time I spent playing Hades. I tried it a few years back but found it really, really challenging as I never learned to play games like that, and went back to my usual strategy games, point and clicks and turn based RPGs. But I want to branch out and got determined to figure it out. Took me, ahem, 47 attempts to beat the first time. 🙈That's the biggest win of the week. 🤣 

 

On Wednesday I went to the neighboring city for a little field trip. I went to the hairdresser to get my hair dyed, but it turned out he needed more time than I had booked. With the extra time I walked to the natural history museum and watched skeletons. They were awesome. They had a wee baby 14m blue whale, the extinct Irish Elk and some of my personal favorites - a tortoise and an elephant. They also had very instructive collections of marine mammals, like comparisons between African, West Indian manatees and dugongs. I took almost 500 references photos. 😅 I also discovered a brilliant ice cream place with delicious super fruity sorbets. And I found another gnome. I don't know why, but there are gnomes scattered around the city in odd places, this one was chilling on a random window sill, below knee height where you don't typically look.

 

IMG_2739Medium.jpeg.89dcced40007ca0e3a8f15091bc7c43e.jpeg

 

IMG_2741Medium.jpeg.0e37c9070b6fb538bd86ecd1ef3e2caa.jpeg

 

IMG_3243Medium.jpeg.7551a70734984a2a3e3ee1edc7f6521d.jpeg

 

IMG_2744Medium.jpeg.6f3faac61ed87d933a50aa569e52e71d.jpeg

 

IMG_3242Medium.jpeg.aaab37576d291305ce76c5194b3dee2e.jpeg

 

Thursday/Friday were a bust. I was so very tired. And the front of my ankle hurt from all the walking. I did nothing. I tried.

 

Today I felt better again, but then my other grandma had to call me and invite me over for dinner and I really don't want to go. But I "have to" because my dad's cousin is there and apparently the fact that I haven't seen him for decades somehow obligates me to go. I don't even remember the guy, nor do I care. I hate having my plans made for me, and all I wanted was to have a day where I could finally do my own things again and have an enjoyable day, but instead I got robbed and now I feel resentful and unmotivated again.

 

On the plus side, I remembered my challenge tools, and a walk to a coffee shop while listening to Zeal & Ardor took most of the edge off. At least now I'm not needlessly angry. Tiny win?

 

  • Like 7
Link to comment
44 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

I remembered my challenge tools, and a walk to a coffee shop while listening to Zeal & Ardor took most of the edge off. At least now I'm not needlessly angry. Tiny win?

Seems like a win to me!

 

I'm also struggling with faaaaaaamily feeling entitled to my time lately so I can commiserate there.  I'm struggling to keep boundaries, say no, and not do things just because someone feels like I should, but it's not pleasant.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 5/12/2024 at 8:33 PM, Mad Hatter said:

Oh dearie me things are not going well. 
 

Yesterday I walked to the gym, but by the time I got there I was too tired, so I just hung out in a coffee shop for a bit. I didn’t think too much about it, but then on my walk back I got absolutely wrecked by plants. My throat was itchy and felt swollen on the inside, I started coughing and it was all really, really unpleasant. I showered and changed clothes but it took all afternoon to start feeling normal again. I never had a reaction like that before, only mild slowly creeping allergy symptoms. 

 

Sounds like a rough day :(

 

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

This has not been a great week. Monday/Tuesday I just couldn't be bothered most of the time. I worked a bit on the website, but most of the time I spent playing Hades. I tried it a few years back but found it really, really challenging as I never learned to play games like that, and went back to my usual strategy games, point and clicks and turn based RPGs. But I want to branch out and got determined to figure it out. Took me, ahem, 47 attempts to beat the first time. 🙈That's the biggest win of the week. 🤣 

 

On Wednesday I went to the neighboring city for a little field trip. I went to the hairdresser to get my hair dyed, but it turned out he needed more time than I had booked. With the extra time I walked to the natural history museum and watched skeletons. They were awesome. They had a wee baby 14m blue whale, the extinct Irish Elk and some of my personal favorites - a tortoise and an elephant. They also had very instructive collections of marine mammals, like comparisons between African, West Indian manatees and dugongs. I took almost 500 references photos. 😅 I also discovered a brilliant ice cream place with delicious super fruity sorbets. And I found another gnome. I don't know why, but there are gnomes scattered around the city in odd places, this one was chilling on a random window sill, below knee height where you don't typically look.

 

Oh this sounds like a great adventure! Animals and sorbet and gnomes, oh my! 

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

On the plus side, I remembered my challenge tools, and a walk to a coffee shop while listening to Zeal & Ardor took most of the edge off. At least now I'm not needlessly angry. Tiny win?

 

You like Zeal & Ardor? I love Zeal & Ardor! Ship on Fire, Götterdämmerung, Children's Summon.

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

Link to comment
4 hours ago, sylph said:

Seems like a win to me!

 

I'm also struggling with faaaaaaamily feeling entitled to my time lately so I can commiserate there.  I'm struggling to keep boundaries, say no, and not do things just because someone feels like I should, but it's not pleasant.

One win out of many, many fails. 😛 

 

The worst part for me is that it's entirely out of proportion. My obligations are basically making my grandma the occasional sandwich and helping her find stuff when she gets too frustrated. And have dinner at my other grandma's once a week-ish. It's really not a lot. But the fact that I get interrupted, or worse told what to do, even when I'm only doing something in my head, makes me irrationally angry.

 

4 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I'm so sneaky I didn't even come here until the last 2 weeks of the challenge

tenor.gif

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

You like Zeal & Ardor? I love Zeal & Ardor! Ship on Fire, Götterdämmerung, Children's Summon.

I loooove their self titled album - it's one of my go-to soothing albums! I don't listen to metal much, but this blend where the metal accentuates the soul/blues is amazing. I tried their earlier more metal album(s?) but didn't like it as much. Though it could've changed by now.

  • Like 3
Link to comment

Your trip photos are great!

 

Sounds like dealing with your family is often frustrating. Do you have a plan for what you want to do in the next phase of your life?

Excellent use of your tools to calm down before going to your grandma's for dinner. Any chance your long-lost cousin can help you with connections somewhere better?

Level 77  Viking paladin

My current challenge  Battle log 

Link to comment
On 5/18/2024 at 1:38 PM, Mad Hatter said:

The worst part for me is that it's entirely out of proportion. My obligations are basically making my grandma the occasional sandwich and helping her find stuff when she gets too frustrated. And have dinner at my other grandma's once a week-ish. It's really not a lot. But the fact that I get interrupted, or worse told what to do, even when I'm only doing something in my head, makes me irrationally angry.

 

I can relate. I get pretty angry in similar situations, although the more I think about it the harder it is to pin to any one thing. Casual, unearned entitlement to your time and emotional work is just not a great thing to have to deal with. :(

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 5/18/2024 at 7:38 PM, Mad Hatter said:

I loooove their self titled album - it's one of my go-to soothing albums! I don't listen to metal much, but this blend where the metal accentuates the soul/blues is amazing. I tried their earlier more metal album(s?) but didn't like it as much. Though it could've changed by now.

 

I'm confused because I felt that their most recent, self titled album was more metallic? Götterdämmerung is thick with death growl. On the other hand some songs from the two earlier albums are either instrumental or have a mix of dirty and clean vocals. 

Sweet Instrumental:

Spoiler

 

 

Satanic chanting with some clean vocals and, admittedly, one long death growl:

 

Spoiler

 

 

Some growl but mostly clean vocals, with, well, satanic African American spiritual:

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1

Let cheese and oxen and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination - Harriet the Viking

Just be bold, fluid and unapologetic, not small, hairy and indecisive - Harriet the Artist

You can absorb me! - Harriet the Contextless Guru

Link to comment
On 5/21/2024 at 12:21 AM, Mistr said:

Sounds like dealing with your family is often frustrating. Do you have a plan for what you want to do in the next phase of your life?

I've no clue. I feel so lost, I'm just avoiding the question altogether now. My best plan is to, umm, panic when my money runs out? I not only don't know what I want to do when I grow up, but I also have a huge confidence issue because I fail or quit everything after a month or two...

 

On 5/21/2024 at 12:21 AM, Mistr said:

Excellent use of your tools to calm down before going to your grandma's for dinner. Any chance your long-lost cousin can help you with connections somewhere better?

It turned out he was only there for a short moment and I missed him anyway. I don't mind. I don't remember him at all. All I know is that I very occasionally played with his daughter when I was a kid, and I don't even remember that. 🤷‍♀️

 

On 5/22/2024 at 6:45 PM, Kishi said:

I can relate. I get pretty angry in similar situations, although the more I think about it the harder it is to pin to any one thing. Casual, unearned entitlement to your time and emotional work is just not a great thing to have to deal with. :(

Nope, it really isn't. Then I feel guilty about it.

 

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

I'm confused because I felt that their most recent, self titled album was more metallic? Götterdämmerung is thick with death growl. On the other hand some songs from the two earlier albums are either instrumental or have a mix of dirty and clean vocals. 

Sweet Instrumental:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Satanic chanting with some clean vocals and, admittedly, one long death growl:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Some growl but mostly clean vocals, with, well, satanic African American spiritual:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Huh, must be remembering wrong. It appears I have homework to do. 😄 Do you have a favourite album?

  • Like 2
Link to comment

Energy

 

#1 Sleep - Well. I sort of realized I might have made a slight miscalculation. I based my goal bed time on the time I want to go to bed, completely neglecting to take into account that I keep waking up at a stupid 5-6 am because of the light. Traitor body. I admit defeat and will set a new goal to be in bed by 11 pm. It's still not enough but it's a semi-acceptable compromise for now.

#2 Hydrate - My average was up by almost 400 ml from last month! But then I ruined it by running out of coffee, evidently a significant contributor to my hydration strategy.

#3 Don’t wreck myself in the gym - This is getting ridiculous, but I still haven't been. I followed up last week's needle stabbing incident with a mysterious ankle pain. Gym restart must happen tomorrow!

 

Environment

 

#1 Web blockers - I've been experimenting with different strategies and in the end I settled for Cold Turkey on my laptop and Taskfulness on my phone/iPad. Taskfulness is really cool, wish it would work on laptops too. It's not aggressive at all, in fact it doesn't even block anything. Instead it makes you go back to the app and state a reason for wanting to go on distracting platform of choice. If it's a good reason it gives you a green light, if it doesn't like your reasoning it might suggest doing something else. I almost never get to that part though, the question alone is enough most of the time.

#2 Use music - It's surprisingly difficult to remember considering how often I listen to music.

#3 Go outside - I'm still getting reactions when I go outside for too long so I've been less keen on this strategy.

 

Emotions

 

Energy management and emotions really go hand in hand. I've been very tired and unmotivated, but as soon as I got a good night's sleep I'd want to do things again. But then I do things in the wrong order. When I have high mental energy I go and do physical things and then run out of steam. Or spend it in planning tasks or research until I run out of time. Or I use up creative energy on my parents' website instead of using it for myself. This shouldn't be as much of a problem as it is, but when I'm either low on energy or I get interrupted and have to reset all the time it makes it hard. Once I get into it it's not a problem, starting is the hard part.

 

Things I’ve done

  • A lot of social media marketing research
  • Watched the climbing olympic qualifiers
  • Played a bunch of Hades (feel more or less done now)
  • Sorted through more of grandma's stuff. I'm going to call it done now.
  • That's about it? Feels lame. I've been very tired.
  • Like 4
Link to comment

I have a plan!

 

To combat the energy mismanagement I'm going to try the schedule thing again. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will be art days because that's when my grandma is out and I have the flat to myself. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be work days (work = basically unpaid web designer/marketing intern for my parents business launch). Saturdays and Sundays can be whatever. The plan is not to try and do stuff all day, but treat is as going to the office. The important thing is to show up, not to be productive. I can procrastinate all I want, but only with certain activities. The idea being that I'll be bored enough eventually to do the things. And that if I go to "the office" in the morning I won't have time to use up my energy on the wrong thing.

 

What can go wrong this time?

  • Like 6
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

New here? Please check out our Privacy Policy and Community Guidelines