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Ranger Sloth goes Scouting to Assassinate Zombies


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Backstory (continued from first Ranger challenge)

Ranger Sloth spent the last week hunting down and questioning a Necromancer. Little of what he said held truth, but he did tell Sloth that the curse of the undead could be transmitted through putrid liquids. Unfortunately he learned little else of value.

Sloth reenters the fort to ready his gear for departure. It will be a long, dangerous trek. He doesn't feel up to the task, but someone has to go and of all the Ranger company he has the most scouting experience. In the morning he'll be on his way to the far realm of Kentucky.

His official duty is to scout all the wilds from the great city state of Minneapolis to the hills and woods of Kentucky searching for any sign of the undead. If any have left the great dismal swamps and are working their way north, Sloth is to find them, dispatch them, and report back. Unofficially, he is to meet up with a retired Dwarvish warrior that he once adventured with and help fortify his keep. Should worse come to worse this will be a potential rendezvous for him and his family.

SlothLike's Level 2 Ranger Challenge

Name: SlothLike

Race: Half-Elf - Wood Elf, not one of those snooty High Elves

Class: Ranger

Age: 43

Height: 5' 11''

Weight, average: 174.2 # (I didn't gain weight, I calibrated the scale.)

Bodyfat, average:16.46%

Lean Body Mass, calc.: 145.5#

Fat Body Mass, calc.: 28.7#

Waist, at belly button, appx.: 35 1/4"

Bicep: 13 7/8"

STR: 5

DEX: 3 - I can't touch my toes, not even close

STA: 4 - "He ain't fast, but he can ride all night." 24 race competitor's assessment of me.

CON: 6 - I can't remember the last time I've been sick.

WIS: 5 - Increases with age, right?

CHA: 2 - Socially awkward + I wear black socks and sandals 'cause it's functional

Quests

Scout the backwoods.

Assassinate the Zombies.

Maintain fighting trim.

Druidlike Agility.

Drink only pure liquids.

Rest.

Details

The family and I will be going on a three week road trip to Kentucky to see an old buddy. We'll be camping and hiking on our way down and back. While there I'll help him with some projects on his new homestead and probably do more hiking. My overall goal for the first three weeks is to maintain fitness on the road. The overall goal for the last three weeks is to start developing some bike specific fitness.

• Scout the backwoods (pt. 1): Sta +3 While traveling I will trail run every day that we camp somewhere with hiking trails. Minimum distance of two miles.

Scout the backwoods (pt. 2): When we return I will bike at least five days a week, minimum distance 20 miles. At least two of these rides will be off road. kindertransporten will not count.

• Assassinate the Zombies: Str +1/Sta +1 Maintain strength by completing a body weight/playground circuit at least three times a week.

• Maintain fighting trim: Str +1/Sta +1 Maintain conditioning by completing a kettlebell circuit at least three times a week.

• Druidlike Agility: Dex +3 Mobility! I will continue to do my shoulder rehab three times a week, I will develop and implement a better mobility plan three days a week. My goal is to touch my toes. I can currently reach ten inches from my toes when standing.

• Drink only pure liquids: Con +3 I've been backsliding on the no sodas rule and have been drinking a lot of sugary juices. I will drink no liquid calories except for ales and milk.

• Rest: Sta +1/Con +1 I tend to stay up all night in the summer (it is now 2:20 am). Edit: Bedtime by midnight at least 5 nights a week (stolen from Loren).

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Day 1 - Monday

The torrential downpour delayed the Sloths departure long past day break. He decided to delay it until after midday. So Sloth took advantage of the free time to train one last time with the warriors before he left. Hopefully their skills would add the edge he needed to face the upcoming challenge.

We couldn't pack last night since it was raining so hard. We'll try to leave at naptime, hopefully the kids will sleep through the first part of the trip. I went to the gym this morning and did a quick and simple squat/dead lift/chin up work out. It also got me my 12th time at the gym discount.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Very good well rounded goals. But what about the war hammer goals, and to ensure the sloth family happiness (and your students) you need to add a CHA goal of no more black socks with sandals

Wisdom 22.5   Dexterity 13   Charisma 15   Strength 21  Constitution-13

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind' Luke 10; 27

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Very good well rounded goals. But what about the war hammer goals, and to ensure the sloth family happiness (and your students) you need to add a CHA goal of no more black socks with sandals

This. What about brown socks? They won't show the dirt...

"Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber." - Elbert Hubbard
Human Adventurer

I want to be fit and healthy so I can explore and enjoy all the beauty the outdoor world has to offer, in all kinds of weather, all the days of my life.

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I love reading your challenge intro and updates. Makes me want to be more creative with mine.

Dry January | 2022 Reading Challenge

 

"Always remember, your focus determines your reality." - Qui-Gon Jinn, The Phantom Menace

"I Find That Answer Vague And Unconvincing." - K-2SO, Rogue One

”Persistence without insight will lead to the same outcome.” [spoilers], The Book of Boba Fett

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You had me at zombies....

I AM going the distance

 

'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.

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Thanks for the comments everyone. We're at Mammoth Cave right now and the wifi is really spotty so I don't know if I'll be able to give a real update or not, but the challenge is going well so far. I haven't been on-line in a week, did I miss anything?

Elastigirl - we have a small car, so I packed a kettlebell since it's smaller than the warhammer. And I'm not giving up the black socks, although Seabright is right, brown might be a practical choice.

Maegs - I kind of look like that; I love The Big Bang Theory, but I never get to watch it because it comes on while I'm putting the kids to bed.

I hope y'all are rocking the challenge.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Day 1 - Monday

I wasn't sure how I was going to get into Wisconsin. One thing I did know, with the evil overlord still jittery after putting down the rebellion, I didn't wan't anyone official knowing I was there. I considered swimming across the river and sneaking in, but my time spent with the assassins paid off, I followed a caravan of merchants, started acting like I was one of them, and pretty soon people started acting like I was and I simply walked into Wisconsin without anyone paying me any mind.

The forests of Wisconsin are green and healthy the farm animals and the people are fat and happy. There is no sign of the blight here. Near the Black River Falls the were odd signs. Animals killed, shredded. Looks like the work of werewolves. I'd investigate and take care of the problem, but I don't want to postpone my mission. The back of my mind tickled and Loren Wade popped into it, there have been strange rumors about that ranger; I wonder if he's on a mission in Wisconsin too.

The first day of traveling went well. I've hit all my goals so far. We "camped" the first night in a Jellystone Campground outside of the Wisconsin Dells. The kids loved it. The downside is we've been singing the Yogi Bear song over and over as we drive.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Day 2 and 3- Tuesday and Wednesday

I rested up in a wilderness area called Jellystone. I don't know what is happening in Wisconsin, but it's something big. Camping nearby were a group of Samurai from across the western ocean and knights, perhaps led by a Paladin, from England.

After a long and arduous journey I finally made it into the wastelands of Illinois. I avoided the city state of Chicago - if the blight is there, someone else will have to find it; the urban environment does not suit me. The Wisconsinites all warned me about the FIBS, but gave no further information. Amphibian people maybe? But there is little water here. At any rate I am being extra careful, especially tonight as I am camped near a lake.

Checkout time at Jellystone is 2:00, we spent every possible minute there playing in the pool and riding on the hayride with Yogi. Very cheesy, but the kids had a great time. All the people camped near us were international, maybe they were looking for a uniquely American experience?

We drove into Illinois and stayed at a state park. They didn't seem to have any hiking trails, so I still haven't run. Wednesday was the same. I've still hit all my goals, but it is really hard to not get a big ol' Coke when I stop for gas.

It's getting late, I'll try to catch up tomorrow. I'm afraid I won't have time to read anyone else's challenge for at least a week.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Sounds like a quest of epic proportions iis unfolding in the wilds, keep on trekking forward in your mission!

LVL 5 Dúnedain Ranger

STR-12 DEX- 8 STA- 16 CON- 9 WIS- 14 CHA- 7'We are Rangers. We walk in the dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge, and no one may pass'Find me on Twitter

Swim Coach at City of Southampton Swimming Club, CF coach at CrossFit Solent

 

 

 

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The first day of traveling went well. I've hit all my goals so far. We "camped" the first night in a Jellystone Campground outside of the Wisconsin Dells. The kids loved it. The downside is we've been singing the Yogi Bear song over and over as we drive.

Too cute! Enjoy the vacation, Sloth - sounds like a rip-roarin' family good-time!

"Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber." - Elbert Hubbard
Human Adventurer

I want to be fit and healthy so I can explore and enjoy all the beauty the outdoor world has to offer, in all kinds of weather, all the days of my life.

2023 Battle Log2022 Battle Log2021 Battle Log2020 Battle Log2019 Battle Log2018 Battle Log2017 Battle Log2016 Battle Log

 

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Day 4 - Thursday

I spent extensive near Illinois' largest lake looking for FIBS. I'm not sure what the Wisconsinites were talking about, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary. I took a flock of hummingbirds as a good omen, such beauty would exist in a land cursed by the undead, so I decided to move on and complete my quest.

At the frontier of Illinois and Kentucky there is a citadel called Metropolis. I think I solved the riddle of why Illinois is free of the undead. Metropolis is the home of a level 50 warrior who goes by the name of Superman. He must be keeping the borderlands free of zombies. I wonder if he'll be able to handle a horde?

I slipped into Kentucky and set up camp in The Land Between the Lakes. This area is wild and will take extensive searching before I can declare it free of the blight.

Thanks for the comments guys. The vacation is going well, but the temperature has been in the 90s and even in the 100s for the entire time. It's made for rough camping, but everyone is handling it well and enjoying themselves, even me the sourpuss.

For this entry we are at Eldon Hazlet State Park in Illinois. We spent a ton of time walking back and forth between the lake and the playground. The kids seem happiest when they are digging in the sand as they sit in water. It's a nice way to spend a 100 deg. day. We left late and made it to The Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky. On the way we stopped at Metropolis Ill. and took pictures by the giant Superman statue and we all got matching Superman T-Shirts - we also risked plague or worse by playing in the McDonalds playland - this is were I did my push ups and inverted rows, I think my wife was a bit embarrassed, but when am I going to see these people again?

• I haven't been doing any running yet, but I decided before I left that I would do it as I was able and not beat myself up if I couldn't. I've done a ton of loaded walking (backpack and kids), so I've got the fat burning in, but not the cardio.

• Bodyweight/playground workouts have been going well. Minimal workout has been 5X5 chin ups and push ups and 3X10 inverted rows.

• Kettlebell conditioning hasn't gone quite so well; my shoulders can't take it the day after I do body weight. This has been modified to some combination of BW squats, burpees, jumping jacks, and kettlebell swings for a total of 15 minutes or more to get my conditioning in.

• Agility. I've been stretching everyday, but not for long and it's my same old routine since I ran CC in high school. I'm not any closer to touching my toes.

• Liquids. I was good until we hit the south and everyone had sweet tea. It is the best thing ever after you've been hiking around at 98 deg.

• Rest. I've been in bed by 11:00 almost every night. Not having internet makes it a lot easier to go to bed. Tonight we're at a KOA with wifi and I'm still up at 1:30.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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On the way we stopped at Metropolis Ill. and took pictures by the giant Superman statue and we all got matching Superman T-Shirts - we also risked plague or worse by playing in the McDonalds playland - this is were I did my push ups and inverted rows, I think my wife was a bit embarrassed, but when am I going to see these people again?

Matching Superman T-Shirts? I think we are going to need pictures.

Push-ups and inverted rows in playland...love it.

"Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber." - Elbert Hubbard
Human Adventurer

I want to be fit and healthy so I can explore and enjoy all the beauty the outdoor world has to offer, in all kinds of weather, all the days of my life.

2023 Battle Log2022 Battle Log2021 Battle Log2020 Battle Log2019 Battle Log2018 Battle Log2017 Battle Log2016 Battle Log

 

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Thanks all.

Seabright: We looked totally nerdy, it was awesome. If I can upload pics I will.

Crooked: Getting away from the usual distractors has really helped me to be able to hit my goals. I hope I can keep it up.

LexPheonix: It has been great. I'd never heard of LBL before this trip. We went without any definite plans, we saw a big green area on the map with out any towns and thought it would be a good place to camp. I'm glad we did, it was beautiful.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Day 5 & 6 Friday & Saturday

Land Between The Lakes. If the zombies are heading toward Minnesota they'll have to come through here. It's an almost completely uninhabited wilderness zone, it might take a while to search this entire area.

I searched up and down The Trace several times, I went into the hills and woods, and even searched the lakes for swimmers, but only found one zombie. This land has plenty of prey animals, there was even a herd of buffalo, so it seems likely that the blight hasn't made it this far north yet.

I tracked and dispatched my first zombie since starting this mission. He took me on a long run through the woods before I finally caught up with him. My warhammer made short work of him. He was wilier than I expected, I was expecting the undead to be slow and stupid.

The kids were having a hard time sitting in the car every day and The Land Between the Lakes seemed nice, so we decided to spend an extra day here. We had a great time. We all wore our Superman T-Shirts (my wife turned bright red every time someone said we were "cute"), I took the preschooler fishing, we spent a ton of time swimming and digging in the sand, and lots more walking. It was a half mile to the playground and a mile to the beach and we walked to those over and over again - I usually had a pack and the preschooler on my shoulders for ~50 pounds. The preschooler climbed a tree all on her own, so she checked that off of her bucket list. We drove to the elk/bison range and saw elk and bison, it was pretty cool.

We learned that we can't really go hiking anymore. Last year we put each of the kids in a carrier and they would fall asleep and we could hike all day. That doesn't work with the preschooler, so we are limited to short hikes even if I carry the preschooler on my shoulders. This changed our plans for the last week, which was to go to the Appalachians or the Smokeys and do a lot of hiking.

Trail running: this was my first chance to do some trail running and I took it even though it was still incredibly hot after I got the kids to bed. I didn't know the trails at all. They were nice, rolling hills with just enough rocks and roots to make you know that you're trail running. I decided to run out for 15 minutes taking all the right turns and then come back taking all left turns. I've done this before with good luck. Not tonight, I missed a turn and got lost. I ended up spending an hour jogging in the woods while pretty nervous that I was going to be sleeping in the woods. At one point I heard a snort and some snuffling. It scared the bejeesus out of me, I came to a dead stop and all the hair on my body stood straight up. It was probably just a raccoon. I also saw lots of deer, skunks, and raccoons and heard coyotes.

The next day I was sore from running longer and hillier than I'm used to. I walked 8 or ten miles, mostly loaded, and it was crazy hot. I suited up to run, but I didn't follow through. Instead I sat by the fire and drank raspberry wine over ice.

Otherwise I hit all my goals, I even did extra sets on the playground work out day. The conditioning day was really hard though and I did a minimal 15 minutes of KB swings and BW squats.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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