Pregnant! - and other forums are not nearly as awesome...

[Quembelle]

I found out last week that I'm pregnant with my first geekling! I'm at 5 weeks and am due Feb 19th, 2013. Would love to hear from other ladies who are also pregnant or recent new moms.

I tried to go on the "What to Expect" forums but I'm finding I have a low tolerance for people there, and people don't seem to have forum etiquette. (for example, in the "February 2013 Babies" forum someone was like "Is anyone due in August?!" and I'm like "i don't have time for this". :sigh: sorry, crankypants over here.

We're so excited and terrible at keeping secrets. Just really terrible. You're not "supposed" to tell anyone until after the first trimester, but we've called family and friends already, and are just waiting until August to do the big Facebook announcement.

[ETFnerd]

congrats mama...

['Roos]

CONGRATS AND BEST OF LUCK!!! I have nothing useful to add but yay so exciting for you!

[Wolverine]

Recent new dad here. Sorry, wife isn't on the boards so I'll have to do.

[WarriorAmy]

Weee! Yeah, parenting forums suck. I've found some great women on them, but then there are heaps of people who just love to fight and pick of your parenting philosophy. Why are women so catty when it comes to their children?

I have two boys, ages 3 and almost 12 months. I love babies. I'd love to have more, but kombimankenny is a bit of a responsible poop and isn't on board with my mass breeding plan.

It IS really hard to keep it a secret- it's such a big change in your life, of course you want to tell everyone!

Hope everything continues to go smashingly (no morning sickness, woot!).

[Fink]

Congrats, almost new dad here

[zenmom]

Congrats!!

[IfItPlugsIn]

Congrats! Soon to be new mom again here! I'm due Sept 20th (boy), and have 2 more boys (2 and 4). We always waited until 10-12 weeks to tell, just because of the chance of a miscarriage. The number one thing that has made a difference for me this time around is exercise. With my first baby, I gave up the second I found out I was pregnant. With the second, I only made it a few weeks. This time, I'm going to Zumba once a week, and walking as much as possible (usually 30 minutes 3-5 days a week over lunch).

I pretty much stay away from other forums, and just google anything I'm questioning. I did get the "What to Expect" book with my first, and liked it.

[Librarian of Doom]

Congrats again! I have two girls, 3 and 1, May and June, respectively. I'm getting to that point where I have baby fever, and we're about ready to start trying for number 3. So if all goes well we can be pregnancy buddies!

I hear ya on the other forums thing. You might try Mothering.com; I've heard good things about them from my natural birthing/crunchy parenting friends. Or you could just stick with the awesomeness that is NF

[Quembelle]

Recent new dad here. Sorry, wife isn't on the boards so I'll have to do.

Congrats to you!! Any advice i can pass on to my husband?

To everyone else... thanks for posting! I want to respond to everyone individually but, srsly, i'm exhausted!

[msuroo]

Congrats!! My little man turns one in a couple weeks and I can't believe it's been a year already (think about this when Feb 2014 rolls around). Best thing we ever did, though - being a parent is amazing.

And agreed on parenting forums. I stumbled into a couple when I was researching stuff like car seats and air travel and the like, and my general sense was almost everyone who frequents those places a) thinks they know how to raise your kids better than you, and takes pride in being a better parent than you. ("I would never fly infant-in-arms" or "I kept my daughter rear facing until she was five" and "you might as well be injecting him with heroin", etc.) Ok, maybe I got carried away with the last one, but you get the idea.

Advice for your husband? In my experience (read: me and my 2 best friends), there's not much he can use right now. It won't really register for him until he holds your baby for the first time (and this will drive you nuts as you carry him/her around for 9 months), and at that point, a million years of evolution and instincts will kick in and he will instantly be a good dad.

[Quembelle]

It won't really register for him until he holds your baby for the first time (and this will drive you nuts as you carry him/her around for 9 months), and at that point, a million years of evolution and instincts will kick in and he will instantly be a good dad.

It's already driving me crazy. It seems so real to me in ways... i mean, i guess i'm the one peeing every 2 hours or more, and my boobs hurt, and i get these twinges in my belly,... and he's kinda like "duh... ok... sure..." At least outwardly. We even had a counselor tell us "you can't expect him to act now how he'll act then, it's just not part of the deal" :grumble: But I know he'll be a great dad.

[Wolverine]

Congrats to you!! Any advice i can pass on to my husband?

1 - Don't worry if you don't connect with the kid right away. It takes some guys a bit to really get that it's happening... I think the "Oh my god, I'm a dad" and the "I can't imagine my life without you" hit me at about two weeks after he was born.

2 - Give your wife a break whenever you can. If you're tired she's tired x 2. It's tough sometimes but it gets better. Every day is a little bit easier than the last.

[CalvinHobbes]

No advice, but CONGRATULATIONS!!

[catspaw]

1 - Don't worry if you don't connect with the kid right away. It takes some guys a bit to really get that it's happening... I think the "Oh my god, I'm a dad" and the "I can't imagine my life without you" hit me at about two weeks after he was born.

[Waldo]

It's already driving me crazy. It seems so real to me in ways... i mean, i guess i'm the one peeing every 2 hours or more, and my boobs hurt, and i get these twinges in my belly,... and he's kinda like "duh... ok... sure..." At least outwardly. We even had a counselor tell us "you can't expect him to act now how he'll act then, it's just not part of the deal" :grumble: But I know he'll be a great dad.

My little one is just over a year and we're trying to have another. Dads are pretty much helpless until they are born, and its actually pretty annoying. Especially since you feel bad about it, but there is nothing that you can do. Even the whole giving birth part you try to help as much as you can, but you are still a bystander, it isn't until you hold them that the role changes to actually doing something from "be supportive".

And yeah, never a big fan of parenting forums (though there are some real good blogs out there). Forums take everything to the extreme. NF for example is a place of extreme motivation and sound advice. This is generally not good when it comes to parenting, especially since every kid is different. Waaaaay too many people turn it into a competition.

Kids are good to use for motivation to be awesome parents, but there is a big difference between being awesome parents and being freaks who win at parenting. Gosh I can't tell you how many "rules" we broke and continue to break. I always get a kick out of the looks of disgust from the freaks who win at parenting.

[Wolverine]

Gosh I can't tell you how many "rules" we broke and continue to break. I always get a kick out of the looks of disgust from the freaks who win at parenting.

HA HA HA! We went from taking everyone's advice to: "Oh, you don't think I should put my kid in the swing to nap? Unless you want to come over and hold him while he sleeps, F*** you. That's what I think."

I can count on one hand the number of things that have gone according to plan...

[Jcannon98188]

One day, when I get married, and me and my wife have kids they will be perfect, and fit, and smart, and social, and will never ever ever ever do anything bad. Ever.

Atleast that is my plan.

[Quembelle]

HA HA HA! We went from taking everyone's advice to: "Oh, you don't think I should put my kid in the swing to nap? Unless you want to come over and hold him while he sleeps, F*** you. That's what I think."

I can count on one hand the number of things that have gone according to plan...

I foresee using a version of this quote a number of times in the coming years.

@Catspaw... i showed that video to my husband, and he def had an "awww" moment

[Fink]

Congrats!! My little man turns one in a couple weeks and I can't believe it's been a year already (think about this when Feb 2014 rolls around). Best thing we ever did, though - being a parent is amazing.

And agreed on parenting forums. I stumbled into a couple when I was researching stuff like car seats and air travel and the like, and my general sense was almost everyone who frequents those places a) thinks they know how to raise your kids better than you, and takes pride in being a better parent than you. ("I would never fly infant-in-arms" or "I kept my daughter rear facing until she was five" and "you might as well be injecting him with heroin", etc.) Ok, maybe I got carried away with the last one, but you get the idea.

Advice for your husband? In my experience (read: me and my 2 best friends), there's not much he can use right now. It won't really register for him until he holds your baby for the first time (and this will drive you nuts as you carry him/her around for 9 months), and at that point, a million years of evolution and instincts will kick in and he will instantly be a good dad.

My wife has been getting bombarded with advice she never asked for, and by complete strangers. Its insane.

[Lammis]

Haaa, I'm pregnant with my first right now, he's due at the end of Nov.

1st thing about exercising while pregnant: Most of the videos suck if you are in any way in good shape already. I get that you're needing to be careful, but there is 'careful', and there is a lame workout. Also, they're way too cheerful. I feel like barfing, F you and your cheery squats.

2. Walking is boring. At least I think it's boring. But I live in a mega city with car horns and bleh and treadmills make me feel like a hamster. I use it anyway.

3. What To Expect made me anxious and mad. I havent looked at the forums assuming it would do the same. Alphamom is a good blog and the forums are more normal people.

4. For sure keeping your fitness up will make your pregnancy and recovery easier. I've been advised many times to 'focus on the core' since that's what you're going to be using to push that sucker out in the end. Also, mega squats so you don't get mom-ass (and something about birthing positions?) I youtubed a pilates video and thought that was pretty good, and use the "Prenatal Fitness Fix" by...someone...Erin Obrien and I like that one a lot. Just find something at the level of fitness you feel comfortable and go for it (after your dr says its OK!).

Good luck! I'll check back often

[Gortonfish]

Congrats! I am a new mom. My little girl is 4 months old. I had a hard time on all the mommy forms too. I wish I had seen this site earlier. I have always been a nerd and never fit into the norm.

[Lammis]

So the fact that I've set up my computer desk in a continuous squat is good? I'm totally kidding. Yeah, I know it's good for the birthing so I really am taking it seriously. I am, however, also combing in different kinds of squat to combat any mom-ass b/c ... well, we can multitask that kind of thing right? Let's ignore the NF blog post for today in that respect. I am going to have thighs of steel.

When does buddy flip over? Right now his head is up. I know that b/c a)I just had an ultrasound and he keeps kicking me in the pelvis.

[peaches]

How exciting! Congratulations from me xoxo