Milythael vs. Lukup - Demon Slaying

[milythael]

As Milythael observed the young ranger, he felt some kinship, recognizing the poisons of a society not prepared for the rebellion. Thinking he might have to work with him at some point in the future, Mily challenged the gnome to conquer the trappings of his inner battle first.

"I challenge you, sir, to cease this self slander. You are strong or you would not be with the rebellion. I also fight the demons of self-doubt, but you must strike them down where they lay. The rebellion needs us both strong."

Challenge:

Lukup - Do not write, say, or otherwise communicate anything negative about yourself. Record days of failed compliance. Your score is number of days of compliance.

Milythael - Repeat an affirmation 200 times each day. Record each day's affirmation. Do not have negative self talk. Record failed days. My score is number of days of compliance.

The winner is the rebel with the higher score. A tie goes to Lukup.

At stake:

If Lukup wins, Milythael will buy him the Rebel Fitness Guide. If Milythael wins, he will buy Lukup a copy of "You Can Heal Your Life" and Lukup will read it.

[Lukup]

[insert fluff storyline answer here.]

cool let's do this.

[Thilde]

LOVE this PvP! Subbing this thread so I can watch you guys kill your demons!

[leadchipmunk]

What a wonderful idea for a PvP! Subbed

[Doodle]

YAY this is an amazing challenge Subbed! Keep it up You guys can totally do this!

[shadowmeldfs]

Fantastic idea. Words are truly powerful. I will be checking in on this one.

[milythael]

Today's affirmation, completed on the walk to work after lunch and at my desk. 200 x "I am worthy of love." This one was particularly difficult as it is hard to believe I will ever be loved again and love has treated me very poorly. But, it is true, I am worthy of love.

So far, any negative self-talk has been well below the liminal range or non-existent. Despite poor sleep last night, I am deliriously happy.

[Phenix]

"I am deliriously happy." I can't help smiling imagining being in your situation :-)

Thank you for sharing this thought!

[milythael]

The benefits of killing negative self talk:

I haven't had much appetite for the last three days. Eating has been a struggle. Today, it caught up to me. I ran home barefoot in the rain at lunch. I ran to the playground barefoot after work and did horizontal pulls, again in the rain. Then, I crashed, hard.

My mood plummeted. My energy was gone. Six months ago, this would have made for a terrible night. The negative self talk would have filled in the gaps and I would have found reasons to be miserable.

Instead, I analyzed what was happening and concluded my body needed fuel. I didn't feel like it, but with a little encouragement (thanks Loren Wade), I went to the market, again, walking barefoot. On the way, an accidental text made me laugh and cheered me up (thanks klaymates).

As I was walking, I thought about the plight of the caterpillar struggling to free himself from the chrysalis in the midst of a transformation. How terrifying would it be to be so constrained, working with every last erg of energy to break free? But this struggle is arguably the most important of its life. Without it, its wings will not be strong enough to fly. And at the end of the struggle is the ultimate freedom, flight.

At the market, I gathered fresh fruit and vegetables, and some pecans. I talked to the owner and the woman who sometimes works there. The same woman who drove me home a month ago because they wouldn't let me walk home with a 25 lb watermelon. I paid for my produce and the $10.12 I still owed them from last week when a card was declined. And again, because it had been raining, they insisted I accept a ride home.

These random kindnesses, encouragement, and just contact with other lives were not possible for me in January, and even if they had happened, I would have been uncomfortable and unhappy as the result, not because the actions would have been different, but because my internal dialogue in response would have been so negative.

It is possible to change the conversation in your mind. You are not a prisoner of a lifetime of mental habit. You can change your mind, and in so doing, change your life. I know. I did. And if I did it, you can too.

[milythael]

As I review my day, I told a friend I was lazier than she was, and that I could win a gold medal in lazy. That sounds like negative self talk to me. 0/1.

[milythael]

Really low mood this morning. I'm going to have to be especially vigilant to avoid blaming myself. So far, so good.

[milythael]

To combat my low mood, I did today's affirmation out loud on the way to work. 200+ x "I approve of myself." I counted up to 200, but kept going until I got to the office. I did them slowly, and out loud to give them more impact. What we say out loud has more impact even than what we think.

It seems to have helped some. I'm in a better mood than I was before the walk.

[wesb1898]

More PvP. This arena is filling up! Good luck to both of you. Positive talk does wonders for the soul.

[shadowmeldfs]

Your doing good Mily. You have an awesome grocery store, and awesome people that work there. I wish more places were more personal. I loved you analogy with the caterpillar/butterfly. Keep it up!

[milythael]

It isn't really a grocery story. It is a small family owned produce stand called Tanya's Garden. It is only 1/4 mile from my office, and I've started going 2-7 times a week, sometimes, even twice a day.

[milythael]

Today has been a bad day, pretty much start to finish. From the time I woke up, until now, my mood and energy have been low. My appetite, a constant companion in recent months, has been gone since Friday or Saturday. Self doubt has plagued me today. 0/2

[milythael]

Today's affirmation: 220 x I will find love, plus ? x I approve of myself the rest of the way in to the office.

I'm in a good mood today. I am so happy to leave yesterday's doldrums behind me.

[tonic]

Congrats on the mood improvement. I know when I get in a funk it can be hard to get out.

[ellisd012]

Wow, great challenge and I appreciate your thoughtful posts thus far.

I try to remember what my 7th grade English teacher, a former counselor, showed us on the first day of class. IALAC - I Am Lovable And Capable ... it has always helped me when I remember it.

[milythael]

IALAC - I Am Lovable And Capable

That is great. I will have to remember that one.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Xparent SkyBlue Tapatalk 2

[milythael]

My mood has been pretty good today. No negative thoughts to speak of. A friend made a point of hanging around online so I could talk to her after work and my first meat shipment from US Wellness meats was waiting for me when I got home. 1/3 for the PvP.

[leadchipmunk]

My mood has been pretty good today. No negative thoughts to speak of. A friend made a point of hanging around online so I could talk to her after work and my first meat shipment from US Wellness meats was waiting for me when I got home. 1/3 for the PvP.

Ok. Who didn't tell me you can send meat through the mail now? I've got some people I know that are going to get an awesome surprise! Mwahahahaha.....

[Lukup]

8/6: Little Cousin: "You're the coolest adult I know."

Me: "You don't know many adults then."

8/7: (Called myself weird, but I like being weird, it's a good thing.)

8/8: Other Little Cousin: "Why'd you do that?"

Me: "Cause I'm an idi-oh...:("

followed by some fat joke about myself that I don't remember.

Analysis: All my negative comments so far have been in joking form, and I'm just slipping up and doing it without thinking because it's become my default phrases.

Score (unless Miley disagrees): 40

[milythael]

8/7: (Called myself weird, but I like being weird, it's a good thing.)

Analysis: All my negative comments so far have been in joking form, and I'm just slipping up and doing it without thinking because it's become my default phrases.

Score (unless Miley disagrees): 40

I have no problem with calling yourself weird as long as it is in a positive light.

Jokes matter. I used to make negative jokes about myself all the time. If you made them about someone else, they wouldn't appreciate it. Give yourself the same courtesy you would them.

I'm translating your score to 1 successful day of 3 days attempted of 1/3. So far, I think we are tied.

[Lukup]

Yeah, that's right.