LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[catspaw]

I never knew that about the SA. How are they not LGBT-friendly?

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2012/06/salvation-army-official-gays-deserve-death/53885/

[boxerrebel]

I never knew that about the SA. How are they not LGBT-friendly?

You can read their position statements on a variety of issues here: http://www.salvationarmyethics.org/position-statements/

Good news: they seem to be in favour of world peace.

Bad news: all their other positions.

[leadchipmunk]

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2012/06/salvation-army-official-gays-deserve-death/53885/

You can read their position statements on a variety of issues here: http://www.salvationarmyethics.org/position-statements/

Good news: they seem to be in favour of world peace.

Bad news: all their other positions.

Now I can feel good about not donating instead of the usual avoiding eye contact and trying to sneak past.

[cob]

Salvation army is a catholic organization, is it not? I'm not surprised to hear this but... still. and as someone said, Favor world peace but boo everything else on their list.

[Mgn]

Just wanted to pop in and say that you can count me as an ally for sure. I am straight and not quite an activist (I would definitely rally and protest and all that good stuff if I had the time, but...senior year), but I always speak up when I hear inappropriate remarks about LGBTQ people and I'm not afraid of getting my hands dirty arguing with someone if it exposes their idiocy and educates them in the end about their ignorance. I live in Vermont, so I have always been surrounded by this topic and fully embrace it.

I am particularly sensitive to the topic of transgender, as one of my dearest long-time friends is transitioning right now, and I cannot believe the abuse he has encountered, from being publicly outed at a work meeting last summer to having to actually leave his college because he could no longer stand the abuse. It blows my mind that such a nice, funny, caring person could be so hated by people who have never even taken the time to get to know him.

I tried to chalk it up to people not understanding that transitions can go FTM (not just MTF) and thus they did not get it, but reading of similar abuse of both transition types through online stories makes me realize that sometimes, people are just mean.

[epiccurves]

Pansexual polyamorist here. I'm attracted to people, not their respective genders. I also like variety, and enjoy the different dynamics I get with each of my relationships. Our society has such an ingrained mindset of "one man, one woman for life is the only right way to do things ever", which very rarely seems to work for the majority of people. Relationships change, people's goals and desires change, but society as a whole seems to have such a hard time accepting that. The strict mindset of monogamy in our culture causes too many problems (see recent case of Director of CIA). As the common saying goes, "you always want what you can't have". Well, why can't you have it? Why can't mature adults discuss their desires openly with their partners and come to mutually beneficial arrangements? Whether that discussion ends in polyamory, an expanded trust and understanding while continuing a monogamous partnership, or the severance of an uncomfortable or overly-restrictive partnership, it seems to me the relationship will only benefit from openness, whereas secrecy and deception will nearly always end in pain for at least one, usually all, of the people involved.

[tricky]

Hi Everybody!

How awesome is this thread? Y'all make impossible not to stop in and say hi! My name is Tricky, and I'm one more B to add to our alphabet soup (or is it a GBLT sandwich?!). Currently, I'm an adventurer working with the Level Up Club to lose some weight and make some healthy lifestyle changes. When I grow up though, watch out! The plan is to be a Parkour Ninja, or Monk Assassin if you prefer.

Cob, I love your question about fitness and sexuality. For me, the connection between the two is very real, but it's less about fitness and more about overall wellness. What I'm doing right now with LUC feels like "coming out" to myself as a healthy person, or someone who will be soon. It's all about assuming my right to be happy and to enjoy my body on my own terms. Does that make sense? I also don't think you can underestimate the body image/self-confidence stuff, especially when it comes to sexuality. Fat shame, especially the internalized kind, is every bit as damaging as internalized homophobia. Trust me, I've dealt with both, and often together. So to answer your question about challenge goals, I'd say that my sexuality shapes my decision process -- I'm constantly applying the same slow 'n steady, one mountain at a time approach to getting awesome as I did to coming out.

Yikes! That ended up being way longer than I intended! Sorry guys! Also, Hi! Again!

Tricky

[cob]

It's interesting that you say that Tricky. Here in Vegas, the connection is also very real but, peole are all concerned about appearance and attracting partners. I was gifted with this hideous face so, I never worried to much about it. To quote someone I can't remember, God chose for every human whether they get looks, or they get skill. Me, I get skill

but, I see what you mean about enjoying your body on your own terms. I think it's important that we are proud of our own bodies and working to make ourselves who and what we want to be! And Body image as well, a BIG factor in self-confidence, and I'm sure even more a factor when it comes to sexuality. I suffer from fat shame, made worse by the fact taht my belly is just part of my body type (we desert people retain water like camels... Just evolution at play. Fit for survival but, not for attracting yourself a mate ) sexuality is an interesting thing to me when it comes to fitness. Since fitness is driven so much nowadays by the desire to just look good or to attract someone or to have more confidence or any other number of reasons. Waaay back inthe day, fitness was a matter of survival and, there weren't specific workouts, there was "adapt to your environment and your situation, or die out through natural selection." The good news is, you are taking the right approach, one mountain at a time!

Hi Tricky

[Nik]

Being new to a forum feels to me like wandering around at a party where you don't know anyone, awkwardly trying to find people you might be able to relate to. And this is why I like that this thread is here. It may not directly relate to fitness, but I agree with the point about overall wellness. I consider myself asexual, actually, but I find men attractive and women not. (No offense to all the lovely ladies.)

[deathstalker]

I am kind of a noob, only not, since I registered a long time ago. And then promptly fell off the wagon and got back on it just now.

Anyways, I am bisexual, and oddly enough it's never been a big point of contention. But maybe I have just been lucky, I guess. My mother knows even though she doesn't take it seriously (which sometimes annoys me) and my father does not, but I do not feel like telling him anyways since I barely see him. My constant anxiety about everything to do with people is a bigger lifeproblem, I'd say.

I was very glad to realize NF does have a topic like this, because while the general site guidelines promote being decent to people, a lot of places fail at enforcing the rules when push comes to shove. Which is why I generally lurk instead, but today I tried being brave. So here I am, I suppose.

[maggerson]

Hey y'all, quick check-in: did everyone survive the apocalypse, or at least the huge-normous snow storm that happened?

Further, does anyone have anything they want to talk about concerning holiday plans and/or family? I'm personally not looking forward to another round of questions from the Catholic grandma, coupled with the awkward permission-giving my parents like to do about coming out to her.

Hope you're all enjoying the holiday time!

[obax]

I've only recently heard of the group referred to as LGBTQ, and before that only as LGBT. I've always understood that "queer" is a derogatory term and should be avoided (unless using it as the original definition of "something out of the ordinary," and even then it is better to use "odd"). Has this changed? Is it ok to use the term in general public when referring to a non-hetero-aligned person (that's about as politically correct as I could get)? Or is this similar in sorts as the "N-word" used in reference to people of African descent (in other words, only acceptable to use by people who already identify as such, and not by anyone else)?

The way I see it (as a queer woman) is, the derogatory-ness of the word 'queer' is somewhat dependent on context, and who's using it. It was at one point a derogatory term, and has been reclaimed by those who it was intended to offend. So for me to use the word queer, or for my friends and family (who are all accepting) to use it, it's not derogatory, it's empowering. If, on the other hand, someone yelled 'Die, queer, die!', I would say it's being used in a derogatory sense, though I'd personally be more offended by that person wishing death on me for being who I am, rather than their use of the word 'queer'.

I feel like some people get more possessive over the word (or words in general) than others. For me, it's one of many identities I feel a connection to (and I'm using 'identities' in a very broad sense, not just in relation to sexuality), but if others want to use the word differently, more power to them. It won't affect how I feel about the word or how I use it or my connection to it.

Edit: wow, I'm coming rather late to this here game, this is what happens when I don't check to see how many pages of posts there are...........

[Artinum]

If, on the other hand, someone yelled 'Die, queer, die!', I would say it's being used in a derogatory sense, though I'd personally be more offended by that person wishing death on me for being who I am, rather than their use of the word 'queer'.

That's not wishing death on you. That's German for "the queer, the".

No-one who speaks German could be evil...

(Yes, I'm paraphrasing someone... )

[nightlight]

That's not wishing death on you. That's German for "the queer, the".

No-one who speaks German could be evil...

(Yes, I'm paraphrasing someone... )

LOL

[obax]

That's not wishing death on you. That's German for "the queer, the".

No-one who speaks German could be evil...

(Yes, I'm paraphrasing someone... )

Not sure who you're paraphrasing, but I've heard something like that before. Made me laugh, I have to say, especially because I speak a (very) little German and it didn't even occur to me...

[deathstalker]

I personally don't actually find it as a label that applies to me, I think. I am more comfortable with saying I am bisexual, because that simply states I prefer men and women (and is open to broadening in the future, I guess). Wonder if I am the only one. Calling myself queer feels oddly appropriative.

There was no apocalypse over here. I am going to London with my mother to visit her husband. But I have the luck of having a LGBT-friendly primary family, even if my mother thinks I am too hasty to self-identify as bisexual (what the hell that even means), so I do not really bring it up a lot.

[Anduril]

I personally don't actually find it as a label that applies to me, I think. I am more comfortable with saying I am bisexual, because that simply states I prefer men and women (and is open to broadening in the future, I guess). Wonder if I am the only one. Calling myself queer feels oddly appropriative.

I feel the same way.

[deathstalker]

Yay! I am not alone.

To be frank, I feel like that about other labels relating to sexuality as well, because they always carry a large baggage of association with them, and those associations do not feel like me at all, even if I might fit the general definition of the term.

[Anduril]

It's amazing how things so private and personal as sexuality end up political, adding labels and putting people in boxes when we aren't box-shaped in our spirits.

[deathstalker]

Well, there is that quote "the personal is also the political" or however it goes. But yes, a lot of what we are tends to get politicized and put into box. Very few people are willing to handle people who do not fit into boxes, I've found.

[TheRedWriter]

Hetrosexual Ally checking in. I just discovered this thread earlier today, and after reading through a large chunk of it, I'm gratified all over again to a part of nerd fitness. That there are so many here with open minds and hearts is truly impressive.

I have known many gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals in my life, and like hetrosexual folks, they had personalities in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are still strong friends to this day, some of them were forgettable, and some of them I'd be happy if I never saw or heard from them again as long as I live.

To me, it all equals out to: People are people are people.

[deathstalker]

Everyone is a person, but everyone is also different.

Thinking everyone is the same is another way to get into the mess of ignoring differences.

Of course, knowing everyone is different does not mean one shouldn't give people the same base-line of respect, unless they prove they don't value it.

[camisotro]

My intro topic: http://nerdfitnessrebellion.com/index.php?/topic/22426-phobia/

 

Figured I would cross-post after finding this thread too. A big gay hello from a 30-year-old otter in Vancouver.

 

Wasn't able to search for threads with "gay" due to it being less than four letters, but a search for "queer" brought me here.

[Artinum]

Hello and welcome! You can find my challenge thread in my signature.

[Zeuel]

Are we doing another LGBT accountabili-buddies thread for this challenge? I really enjoyed having one for last challenge.