Body image and other social issues for men

[chairohkey]

Why? because being lithe is so freaking terrible? I'm a tall, skinny dude who focuses on bodyweight training to supplement parkour and capoeira, i have no need or desire to go bear mode. i look smaller than brad pit in that photo in almost every way (except height i guess) but i can squat over my bodyweight, deadlift 1.6, do handstand pushups, cartwheel both sides, muscle up, precision jump 3+ meters, run 10k, swim, cycle, rock climb, kickbox, dance, and fuck. in what way does the size of my biceps make me less manly? less healthy? less happy?

TLDR: if you make fun of someone for their body shape, or their desired body shape, you are an asshole.

Cool story bro but what's your bench? You could have made all those points without being so crass.

[Jcannon98188]

Cool story bro but what's your bench? You could have made all those points without being so crass.

And what does it matter how much someone bench's? Sure you can bench high, but are you capable of doing all the things he is? Not everyone is going be huge. Some guys are naturally skinny, and some of us enjoy being skinny. Right now you are being an elitist, which does not make people look up to you and want to be like you, it makes people dislike you. Go do everything that azsf is capable of doing, then come back and tell us how to workout. Until then, do your own bit and stop trying to start a pissing match. I mean seriously, are we really going to start a "mine's bigger?"

[chairohkey]

And what does it matter how much someone bench's? Sure you can bench high, but are you capable of doing all the things he is? Not everyone is going be huge. Some guys are naturally skinny, and some of us enjoy being skinny. Right now you are being an elitist, which does not make people look up to you and want to be like you, it makes people dislike you. Go do everything that azsf is capable of doing, then come back and tell us how to workout. Until then, do your own bit and stop trying to start a pissing match. I mean seriously, are we really going to start a "mine's bigger?"

Sarcasm is lost on you lot. I'm sorry if I offended you, I'll take my ball and go play somewhere else.

[Daverin2112]

I caught it, and I still thought it was in poor taste, and I am in your camp in terms of what I think is important. Answering crass with ass is not going to get anything of any value accomplished whatsoever.

So wanting to turn this into an actually reasonable, mature conversation about why we feel the way we do about certain body types or looks (since this appears to be a major focus right now,) there is another reason I would say some people like myself have a knee-jerk negative reaction to the "fight club Pitt" look: because I would definitely argue that it, and not muscular or "big" is the norm. For those of us who do not seek that look or feel it is pushed upon us, it is sort of "biting back" at what we perceive as the aggressive image. Which, surely and ironically enough, causes the same feeling on those who don't like what we like. This is in addition with Waldo's point, which is also quite spot on.

[Jcannon98188]

Sarcasm is lost on you lot. I'm sorry if I offended you, I'll take my ball and go play somewhere else.

Sorry, your sarcasm sounded too much like what I actually hear a lot. That's the problem with the internet, you can't convey sarcasm as easily.

I propose html tag. </sarcasm>

[ETFnerd]

this guy looks pretty toned...

[ETFnerd]

so does this guy...

[walt_mink]

this guy looks pretty toned...

That dude looks almost like a huge piece of beef jerky! I want a wallet made out of him someday. LOL.

[andygates]

Mmm, chewy. Meanwhile over in challenges, "impossible abs" time. Heh.

[Thrillho]

I might have missed all the fun rage in here, and there's not much to add that hasn't been said before. I've always been a bigger guy (6'4", and a stocky 220 at my leanest) and I've always been ashamed of my body. It's a little ironic and silly, I suppose. When I was 220, I would wear a shirt to the beach because I hated my body. When I was 300, I wore a shirt to the beach because I hated my body. When I was 330, I didn't go to the beach at all. Down to 250, I go shirtless at the beach because I'm proud of my body! I'm still pretty overweight, but losing 80 pounds has been so good for the self esteem that now I don't care when I get the "Eurgh!" face from the trim people.

I get powergrip all the time, either because of my size, or because people seem to think it's a management technique. I never get powergrip from someone in a department with me, but I would get it from every mid-level manager above me. I often just let them do it. I don't want them to feel like it's not working.

My wife claims to like the huggability, but she has mentioned a few times that I have come a long way. I honestly don't know what I want to look like, I'm just having too much fun changing my body, and enjoying the fact that MY BODY IS CHANGEABLE.

HOLY CRAP, GUYS, I CAN MAKE MY BODY LOOK DIFFERENT.

[azsf]

Cool story bro but what's your bench? You could have made all those points without being so crass.

Youre right, i definitely could have been less abusive and i apologize for flipping my shit. That said, when we judge people on how they look and not what they can do we become part of the problem. We create a space that is negative and pushes men and women away. And it shuts down discourse because people feel like they have nothing worthwhile to bring. That sort of attitude is so counter to everything i love about training my body, so it gets me pretty riled up.

And my best bench was 82.5 at 90kg bw

[dshale]

Mmm, chewy. Meanwhile over in challenges, "impossible abs" time. Heh.

It is impossible abs for me. Damn doctor ruined my underwear modeling career.

If only the delivery came out in writing then my humor would make sense. You just don't have comedic timing on a discussion board.

[trigga415]

Lots of tangents going on here, I think. My two cents, keep it simple, I like McClain's comment about who will survive, be (at least) reasonably strong and able. Also, shake with a "firm" hand.

Oh and look good enough to pull off superhero tights cosplay

[realbrickwall]

Body image issues suck. They really do. You want to know a secret?

DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES.

You can show me a photo of a guy with over 25% BFP and I can show you someone who would say "yeah, I'd hit that". I can find plenty of guy-lovers who think Orlando Bloom is "meh" but Jim Carrey is weirdly hot. It really does vary from person to person.

Look, it's good to be healthy. It's good to be fit. It's good to be able to perform feats of athleticism. These are GREAT goals. But obsessing over body shape is just silly. It's how you get people who look like leather purses stuffed with bricks, or pieces of jerky hung out to dry. Be healthy, be happy, and a good shape will follow.

[verin]

I care more about being able to fight than i do about my own image but then again since i practice martial arts and parkour i am fairly light.

I think when it comes to our image we should try our hardest to model ourselves after whatever it is that makes us happiest. For example i love what i do in terms of sparring, running, and climbing things. The only body image i want is the one that will allow me to continue to do what i love for as long as i love it.

[Atalan]

Body image issues suck. They really do. You want to know a secret?

DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES.

You can show me a photo of a guy with over 25% BFP and I can show you someone who would say "yeah, I'd hit that". I can find plenty of guy-lovers who think Orlando Bloom is "meh" but Jim Carrey is weirdly hot. It really does vary from person to person.

Look, it's good to be healthy. It's good to be fit. It's good to be able to perform feats of athleticism. These are GREAT goals. But obsessing over body shape is just silly. It's how you get people who look like leather purses stuffed with bricks, or pieces of jerky hung out to dry. Be healthy, be happy, and a good shape will follow.

This thread is about body issues. To simply dismiss that the media causes problems for both sexes (and untold problems for people who do not identify as either, or as somewhere in between) is unfair. I am bald, broad shouldered, and short. If I were to listen to the media I would believe myself the most unattractive man on the planet and fit only to be a medieval executioner or bumbling villain.

[azsf]

But obsessing over body shape is just silly.

I definitely agree, more that it's harmful rather than silly though. However, comments like this just sweep the problem under the rug. They silence people who DO feel uncomfortable with their bodies, who DO obsess over their weight. Threads like this should be about open discourse, where we encourage people to talk up about how they feel about their bodies and how they've overcome the negative feelings often associated with getting fit.

So please, we've managed to stem the mocking and angst on the last page, let's try to keep the patronizing and dismissing down as well.

[Jcannon98188]

fit only to be a medieval executioner or bumbling villain.

Is this really such a bad idea? If you wanted to be a villain and take over the world, I would be more than willing to help

[Daverin2112]

Okay, perhaps an interesting little experiment: name a real life or fictitious person or two (from a work where some artwork has been done) who is close to what you think does look good. This way we can see just how diverse these tastes actually are. Which may help some feel more confident knowing that, when push comes to shove, society's norms are not what any given individual may hold.

For me, I would say two people who I'd really like looking like are either Tom Hardy as he looked for Bane, or else Bill Goldberg. Clear preference for looking like a wrecking machine is clear.

Also, medieval executioners are awesome, in a highly disturbing, nightmarish way. That is all.

[realbrickwall]

I suppose I can just pick from my vast list to give some answers that will almost definitely expand the range. And, I suppose I should limit it to males, since this is about male body image.

Chris Hemsworth is definitely nice. I think I like him better pre-Thor. Muscley but wirey. Maybe I'd actually like him with a little more body fat, but still. He doesn't look as good in Thor with his muscles all...well, puffy, really. I mean, he's still good-looking, but not AS good-looking.

Young Cary Elwes. Watch that scene in Princess Bride where he's in the machine. Lookin' good (edit: because he's shirtless, not because he's strapped to a table, though if you like that sort of thing, please, enjoy). I actually have never met anyone who finds him as dreamy as I do.

[Neit]

All men should aspire to be strong, healthy, and happy regardless of what Hollywood, society, and especially the internet says. With that said if you still either look like or want to look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club wake up and please go eat and lift something.

This !!

I lift as i love to i get fit because i like being fit do i have body issues yes big time . id love a 6 pack but at the same time i know having 2% body fat is bad for ya . at the moment i am at a very happy medium in my life body wise i look Fit not really big nore skinny i look Fit I Have Tone with a healthy layer of Fat My legs or solid i am really enjoying my training. But I still feel uncomfortable at times on the beach no idea why i just do that will probably never change but i am happy with how i am .

Regarding the Hand shakes i would be one person that always like to give a firm hand shake not crushing but strong , tbh people that kinda half grip you hand freak me out no idea why i just feel weirded out by it. Some guys will always try to crush you hand i reckon they are just trying to prove a point and say look at my I'm strong .

ive not come across people who will right off the bat ask if you work out and start tell you what they can lift yet .

[CyningaDena]

Young Cary Elwes. Watch that scene in Princess Bride where he's in the machine. Lookin' good (edit: because he's shirtless, not because he's strapped to a table, though if you like that sort of thing, please, enjoy). I actually have never met anyone who finds him as dreamy as I do.

And that porn 'stache! I wore that scene out on my VHS as a kid. I blame it for all sorts of cat-o-nine shenanigans today.

[TheSavageBean]

Cary Elwes look-alike reporting in.

For me, I like Guts from Berzerk. I man-crush on him pretty hard. Or Takamura from Hajime Ippo.

Non-fiction I don't really have an "ideal" because the people with good physiques aren't me. I want to see ME with a good physique, not them. That being said though, Reginald Park probably impresses me the most. I think I have potential for what I consider a nice physique underneath my pudge, but I need to get rid of the pudge to find out.

[Daverin2112]

Cary Elwes look-alike reporting in.

For me, I like Guts from Berzerk. I man-crush on him pretty hard. Or Takamura from Hajime Ippo.

Non-fiction I don't really have an "ideal" because the people with good physiques aren't me. I want to see ME with a good physique, not them. That being said though, Reginald Park probably impresses me the most. I think I have potential for what I consider a nice physique underneath my pudge, but I need to get rid of the pudge to find out.

A) Very good point on non-fictional examples. Ultimately, I want to look like a fantastic me more than anything. Still, I kind of identify with mine because I think those are more where my body would normally develop.

You said Guts. I have now mentally placed you on my extremely awesome list. May you slay your hundred foes in on your path to fitness!

[leadchipmunk]

Okay, perhaps an interesting little experiment: name a real life or fictitious person or two (from a work where some artwork has been done) who is close to what you think does look good.

There are too many body types that I think look good for guys, so I'm just going to stick to what I think would look good with me.

Tom Hardy as Charles Bronson, not to say the real Charles Bronson doesn't look great. I personally think Hardy looks better as Bronson than he did for Bane.

And the second (bigger) boxer in this Heineken commercial. Sorry, I couldn't find a picture, so here's a link to the

.

It kinda makes sense why I've shaved my head and trying for a handlebar, doesn't it? Haha