Absidey's Getting to the Point Challenge

[Absidey]

Just logged 1609 meters of sprint intervals. =D

The indoor track I used is 1/17th of a mile, and I thought there wasn't any way I'd make it 17 times around that tracking sprinting every third length. It was a long oval, so by doing every third turn, I alternated sprinting long/short sides. On the later laps, I started sprint two lengths. On the last lap, I danced down the first short side, and then sprinted the long-short-long to the end. I was so excited, I posted in the ranger general frenzy thread while on a stationary bike cooling down. I feel incredible about having just done that, and I never would have if it weren't for you guys, so THANK YOU! You give me so much support and encouragement, I can only hope I give a fraction of it back to you.

After that, I had an idea. A wonderful, horrible idea.

The bikes overlook the lobby, swimming pool, and racketball courts. While I was up there, riding my high (pardon my pun), someone came out of a racketball court and dropped his ball and racket in a basket by the front desk. Two minutes later I was playing racketball. And by that, I mean I had a ball and a racket and absolutely no knowledge of the game. Still, I had fun chasing an absurdly bouncy ball around a big box until I needed to sit down or pass out. My shins are very unhappy, and are quietly complaining even when I'm sitting down with no weight on them (like now). I might end up pushing my lifting to tomorrow.

[Samunwal]

I checked the score sheet and saw yours had jumped from 73 to over 1600- very impressive! Great job!! And racket ball is a lot of fun. I haven't played for years, but should get back into it I bet I could rope my younger one into it....

[Absidey]

I checked the score sheet and saw yours had jumped from 73 to over 1600- very impressive! Great job!! And racket ball is a lot of fun. I haven't played for years, but should get back into it I bet I could rope my younger one into it....

Thanks! It was fun, whatever it was I was playing. If there was a game you got points for nailing yourself in the head, I'd win.

Days 13 & 14 Tally - Week 2 Targets

Action: 7/7 pts

10/6 Sprints! - 1 pt

10/7 Lifting - No extra credit points, so even better I did it.

Diet: 11/11 pts

10/6 Tracking - 1 pt

10/6 Nothing stupid - 1 pt

10/7 Tracking - 1 pt

Mobility: 7/7 pts

10/6 Stretching - 1 pt

10/7 Stretching - 1 pt

10/7 Tibialis Torture - 1 pt

Relax: 3/4 pts

10/6 Meditation - 1 pt (This was probably the worst sitting yet. In 3 minutes, I reminded myself at least 5 times to stop responding to the voices in my head. Once, I was even planning out my post here, counting my points up. Terrible!)

10/7 Meditation - 1 pt

I'm going to meditate in a little bit, and if I don't fall asleep, that will give me a score of 100% for this week.

PS - Since I'm editing anyway, I want to add: OW! Deadlifts after pulverizing my shins Saturday were bad. I figured I was okay to go, since they weren't actively aching, but they still feel bruised when I bang a 75 lb loaded bar into them. It's a good thing the gym was empty, because I was cursing.

Edit in the AM to add a meditation point. 100%! =D

[Samunwal]

Quote from last post: 10/6 Meditation - 1 pt (This was probably the worst sitting yet. In 3 minutes, I reminded myself at least 5 times to stop responding to the voices in my head. Once, I was even planning out my post here, counting my points up. Terrible!)

I've found that if I just let the voices say what they feel they need to (without answering and encouraging them to go on), they'll shut up pretty soon and let me get on with whatever it is I'm trying to do. I really think (at least in my case) it's my subconcious doing its own relaxtion routine and kind of "re-booting." Fighting them usually seems to make it even more cacaphonous.

[Absidey]

I've found that if I just let the voices say what they feel they need to (without answering and encouraging them to go on), they'll shut up pretty soon and let me get on with whatever it is I'm trying to do. I really think (at least in my case) it's my subconcious doing its own relaxtion routine and kind of "re-booting." Fighting them usually seems to make it even more cacaphonous.

This is pretty much exactly what I try to do, and I've mostly been pretty pleased with it. Much better than trying to enforce silence, which was what I've attempted with previous (brief) attempts. Saturday, I was very distracted by the things popping up in my head, to the point I kept forgetting what I was doing while I chattered on with myself. Last night I did much better.

[Absidey]

Week 3 - This shit's about to get real.

Okay, I'm jumping into paleo/primal/whatever. (I can’t find a definitive difference. Some primal is a type of paleo, some paleo is a more limited evolution of primal, some same thing, nerds. I can't freaking tell. Don't care. Moving on.)

I found this flow chart this morning:

I’m planning to follow this chart pretty closely, but what about seeds? Mark’s Daily Apple said seeds are good, like flax and pumpkin and sunflower. What about quinoa and wild rice? I'm thinking I'm going to OK those things for my use in moderation, unless I discover a reason not to.

Dairy: 1/2 cup milk in my hot beverage okay. 1 cup Greek yogurt/day, but not everyday okay. Hard cheeses for occasional use.

I've read some random crap about nightshades, but they're not called out evil on the flow chart, so my tomatoes are safe for the moment.

For now, 1 meal that follows the rules above is 1 pt. I eat approximately 28 meals a week, counting my daily snacks as a meal.

Experienced paleo'ers: Anything major you see missing from my plan?

On to the goals!

Week 3 Targets

Action: 7 pts

Diet: 18 pts

Mobility: 4 pts

Relax: 5 pts

My action goal this week should cover my three lifting routines and some mix of rock climbing, going to the fair with Bobby, and participation in the second round of Fall Frenzy.

My diet goal has more points in for paleo meals. I’m aiming for seven, but some of the points can be made up by not eating anything stupid.

My mobility goal seems to be in balance; no change.

Increasing the relax goal just slightly. It feels good, but I don’t make myself do it if I don’t have to.

Average is 97% right now, just have to keep on.

Edit: Actually, I'm revising my mobility goal down a little to accommodate a break from the tibia flex. A quick jog across the street this afternoon was extremely painful, so I'm going to give my shins the week off to recover. I'm a little bummed, but they did a lot last week they wouldn't have put up with before. So, well deserved rest shins, enjoy it while it lasts!

[Thilde]

You're doing awesome!

Some thoughts re: the meditation. It gave me a tiny sad to see you write "Terrible!" next to your meditation notes up there. I know how that feels, though, and I get it...we want to sit there all zen-like, and our monkey minds start chattering away. I've written entire emails in my head and had phone calls with my mom in my mind while meditating. But, one thing I've learned is to not place a judgement on that phenomenon. It's just your brain doing its thing. Sometimes I engage these thoughts...not by actually following them, but by saying to myself "hey now...how come you're writing that email in your head right now?" To which I usually reply, "because {insert subject here} is stressing me out." "Oh, why are you stressed about that?" And so on. Sometimes it helps me see things I didn't notice before, like a source of some stress or anxiety I wasn't aware of. Other times I don't follow it like this, but I will note it "Hmm, I'm thinking" and then return to a focal point such as the sensation of my breath through my nose, or counting from 1-10. Sometimes I have to start back at 1 20-30 times in a sitting because my mind wanders so much. Other times when my mind chatters like that, I just sit back and watch it, like I'm watching someone else's child sitting in the sandbox at the playground, babbling away to themselves. Other times I turn my attention to my facial muscles. A huge turning point for me in my practice was realizing that every time my mind has wandered and started making a grocery list or something, my facial muscles start to squinch up, especially around my eyes, nose, and cheeks...it's like my subconscious has made me squint in concentration on the grocery list/email/phone call I'm doing in my head. Without addressing the thoughts, I often turn my attention to those muscles and consciously relax them, and often that is enough to dissolve some of the monkey mind chatter so I can return to my breath. The key (I think) is to just sit with it and not say "Stop!" or start judging yourself for it. As my friend WesB reminded me once, it's called a "practice" for a reason. With more practice, the meditation experience deepens and the mind becomes an ally to greater awareness, instead of an enemy. (But I'm not an expert! That's just based on my own experience).

Re: Paleo/primal. First, yay! Glad you are making the transition. I consider myself primal now because my "cheats" are primal items on an otherwise paleo plan (such as dark chocolate or a glass of wine on occasion). I went paleo for the previous challenge and have just stuck with it since because I like it so much. My rules of thumb are these: no grains of any kind, no white potatoes, no legumes/beans, no added sugars including honey and maple syrup, and no dairy except butter and the occasional spoonful of heavy cream. Other than that, pretty much everything is "approved" for me. The grains and legumes piece is pretty much straight paleo logic. The sugars/dairy piece is based on my own N=1 research. I have discovered that I have a sensitivity to dairy, especially liquid milk and cheese, and I don't like how I feel when I eat sugars...it ups my heart rate and makes me feel anxious sometimes. So, I avoid dairy and sugars. I do allow quinoa but I don't eat it often, just because it's expensive around here. I have zero rules about nightshades and indeed I love tomatoes with almost everything. Basically, if it's not a grain, a legume/bean, an added sugar source, or a diary product, I'll eat the heck out of it. Other paleo/primal people allow whole milk dairy products and honey/maple syrup or other "raw" sweeteners, and they experience no ill effects. So that part's up to you.

Re: the labels "paleo" and "primal." I lost so much energy when I first made the switch, trying to figure out what label I fall under. Bottom line: there are as many ways to do paleo/primal as there are people doing paleo/primal. I call myself primal because I am now a pretty avid fan of Mark Sisson and his guidelines guide most of my lifestyle choices right now. After doing a lot of research, I settle on Mark's website and book as my go-to source for info...it's just easier to have one place I go to, rather than Googling things anymore. Considering my lack of dairy/sugars, I could also call myself "paleo." A way to cover all your bases is just call it "paleo/primal," but that is a pain in the butt to type out every time. I have resorted to calling it "p/p" out of frustration sometimes. So, I just stick with "primal" now when referring to my lifestyle. In addition to its roots in Mark Sisson's work, the word "primal" also has a gritty, hardcore feel to it, and I like that. So, call it whatever you want, and modify the lifestyle to work for you. The main commonality between paleo camps and primal camps and paleo/primal camps is drastic limiting of grains (especially whole grains) and legumes/beans, with a focus on forming meals from unprocessed meats, veggies, fruits, and nuts. Other than that, the culinary world is your oyster. And oysters are paleo/primal too.

/tome

[Absidey]

You're doing awesome!

Some thoughts re: the meditation. It gave me a tiny sad to see you write "Terrible!" next to your meditation notes up there. I know how that feels, though, and I get it...we want to sit there all zen-like, and our monkey minds start chattering away. I've written entire emails in my head and had phone calls with my mom in my mind while meditating. But, one thing I've learned is to not place a judgement on that phenomenon. It's just your brain doing its thing. Sometimes I engage these thoughts...not by actually following them, but by saying to myself "hey now...how come you're writing that email in your head right now?" To which I usually reply, "because {insert subject here} is stressing me out." "Oh, why are you stressed about that?" And so on. Sometimes it helps me see things I didn't notice before, like a source of some stress or anxiety I wasn't aware of. Other times I don't follow it like this, but I will note it "Hmm, I'm thinking" and then return to a focal point such as the sensation of my breath through my nose, or counting from 1-10. Sometimes I have to start back at 1 20-30 times in a sitting because my mind wanders so much. Other times when my mind chatters like that, I just sit back and watch it, like I'm watching someone else's child sitting in the sandbox at the playground, babbling away to themselves. Other times I turn my attention to my facial muscles. A huge turning point for me in my practice was realizing that every time my mind has wandered and started making a grocery list or something, my facial muscles start to squinch up, especially around my eyes, nose, and cheeks...it's like my subconscious has made me squint in concentration on the grocery list/email/phone call I'm doing in my head. Without addressing the thoughts, I often turn my attention to those muscles and consciously relax them, and often that is enough to dissolve some of the monkey mind chatter so I can return to my breath. The key (I think) is to just sit with it and not say "Stop!" or start judging yourself for it. As my friend WesB reminded me once, it's called a "practice" for a reason. With more practice, the meditation experience deepens and the mind becomes an ally to greater awareness, instead of an enemy. (But I'm not an expert! That's just based on my own experience).

I've been kind of gently shooing myself back to focusing on whatever thing I'm trying to focus on when I get distracted. My "terrible" sitting was just harder than usual. It seemed like I couldn't stay focused for more than a second or two, and it was taking longer for me to even realize I'd gotten distracted. I'm not discouraged, though, I figure sometimes it's just like that. Next time I'll try asking myself why and see what happens.

It feels so good to have my facial muscles actually relax, my forehead in particular! If I focus on how that feels, and keeping it relaxed, I can actually keep quiet a fair amount of time. I can feel the second it starts to tense and shoo whatever thought was pinging on it's way without really getting distracted for real. I'm surprised how much I'm enjoying meditating, even if I haven't gotten to a point I anticipate it yet.

Re: Paleo/primal. First, yay! Glad you are making the transition. I consider myself primal now because my "cheats" are primal items on an otherwise paleo plan (such as dark chocolate or a glass of wine on occasion). I went paleo for the previous challenge and have just stuck with it since because I like it so much. My rules of thumb are these: no grains of any kind, no white potatoes, no legumes/beans, no added sugars including honey and maple syrup, and no dairy except butter and the occasional spoonful of heavy cream. Other than that, pretty much everything is "approved" for me. The grains and legumes piece is pretty much straight paleo logic. The sugars/dairy piece is based on my own N=1 research. I have discovered that I have a sensitivity to dairy, especially liquid milk and cheese, and I don't like how I feel when I eat sugars...it ups my heart rate and makes me feel anxious sometimes. So, I avoid dairy and sugars. I do allow quinoa but I don't eat it often, just because it's expensive around here. I have zero rules about nightshades and indeed I love tomatoes with almost everything. Basically, if it's not a grain, a legume/bean, an added sugar source, or a diary product, I'll eat the heck out of it. Other paleo/primal people allow whole milk dairy products and honey/maple syrup or other "raw" sweeteners, and they experience no ill effects. So that part's up to you.

Sounds like my menu will resemble yours pretty closely. I don't think the gradual ease in is going to happen. I actually ended up eating all primal today, and I feel quite strange. I ate too much, but less than I have been (ever, probably) in terms of calories. It's going to take some practice learning to balance things and to learn that what looks like just right on my plate is too much in my belly. And knowing I'm not supposed to have sugar has me craving a snickers bar like mad. Hopefully that will pass quickly.

[Kuiken]

Just logged 1609 meters of sprint intervals. =D

The indoor track I used is 1/17th of a mile, and I thought there wasn't any way I'd make it 17 times around that tracking sprinting every third length. It was a long oval, so by doing every third turn, I alternated sprinting long/short sides. On the later laps, I started sprint two lengths. On the last lap, I danced down the first short side, and then sprinted the long-short-long to the end. I was so excited, I posted in the ranger general frenzy thread while on a stationary bike cooling down. I feel incredible about having just done that, and I never would have if it weren't for you guys, so THANK YOU! You give me so much support and encouragement, I can only hope I give a fraction of it back to you.

After that, I had an idea. A wonderful, horrible idea.

The bikes overlook the lobby, swimming pool, and racketball courts. While I was up there, riding my high (pardon my pun), someone came out of a racketball court and dropped his ball and racket in a basket by the front desk. Two minutes later I was playing racketball. And by that, I mean I had a ball and a racket and absolutely no knowledge of the game. Still, I had fun chasing an absurdly bouncy ball around a big box until I needed to sit down or pass out. My shins are very unhappy, and are quietly complaining even when I'm sitting down with no weight on them (like now). I might end up pushing my lifting to tomorrow.

HOLY SORE MUSCLES BATMAN!! Dude you killed that workout! And fantastic work on the sprints!! I see we didn't win the challenge, but it certainly wasn't because you didn't give it your best!

I feel you shin pain-mine look like a dalmatian with all the bruises (the socks are helping with the scrapping, but I'm still getting bruises-meh, I'll be tougher for it).

This was probably the worst sitting yet. In 3 minutes, I reminded myself at least 5 times to stop responding to the voices in my head. Once, I was even planning out my post here, counting my points up. Terrible!

Don't beat yourself up about it too bad-SambieWlks put up some fantastic advice and the only thing I can add to it is that I try to count my breath (like breathe in 4, out 4) until I get to a count of 6-8 (ie really slow breathing) and then I just stop counting (but keep breathing). If I focus my mind on simple counting then I can shut up the background voices-like Samuwal said, if you try to argue with them it only gets worse.

Also I'm glad I'm not the only one arguing with the voices in my head during meditation!

Fighting them usually seems to make it even more cacophonous.

Repeat, but I just felt there needed to be more "cacophonous".

Week 3 - This shit's about to get real.

Okay, I'm jumping into paleo/primal/whatever. (I can’t find a definitive difference. Some primal is a type of paleo, some paleo is a more limited evolution of primal, some same thing, nerds. I can't freaking tell. Don't care. Moving on.)

I’m planning to follow this chart pretty closely, but what about seeds? Mark’s Daily Apple said seeds are good, like flax and pumpkin and sunflower. What about quinoa and wild rice? I'm thinking I'm going to OK those things for my use in moderation, unless I discover a reason not to.

Dairy: 1/2 cup milk in my hot beverage okay. 1 cup Greek yogurt/day, but not everyday okay. Hard cheeses for occasional use.

I've read some random crap about nightshades, but they're not called out evil on the flow chart, so my tomatoes are safe for the moment.

For now, 1 meal that follows the rules above is 1 pt. I eat approximately 28 meals a week, counting my daily snacks as a meal.

Experienced paleo'ers: Anything major you see missing from my plan?

LOVE the chart! Only edit is that as a poultry scientist, I disagree with the "would it have a face if you didn't pull it from the nest"-table eggs are infertile, so it would never have had a face no matter how long you left it in the nest. [/chicken-nerding]

Since I'm also relatively new to paleo, I'll offer my advice with a grain of salt. Hit up paleomg.com or nomnompaleo.com or just google paleo recipes-when I started I was meh about veggies, but thanks to all the creative recipes I'm considering getting a "I <3 veggies" tattoo now! And planning is key-the majority of my cheats are when I haven't prepared any food or bought any seeds/nuts to snack on and now I'm hungry and instant noodles take 2 mins to cook! I keep some dairy in mine diet too, so don't worry about it. If after the 28 days you aren't seeing the changes you want, think about reducing the dairy or tweaking in some other way. I think the wild rice should be OK occasionally-the impression that I get is that it's processed carbs (bread, pasta, cereal) that are the big no-no. Hit up the recipes though-I found one for cauliflower rice, gives you the same texture as white rice without all the junk and it's super filling! Pretty much any dish can be remade paleo.

The bottom line is what works for you. If your brain freaks out at being told "never eating this again", allow yourself the occasional cheat-much better to make a conscience decision of "I'll have this one cheat" than to deny until you break and eat all the things. If keeping a little of dairy in means you stick to it, then do it.

Try some sweet potato fries or high cocoa dark chocolate for the sugar cravings. I can only make it through about 1 square of dark chocolate and I'm done wanting sugar or chocolate for a long time!

Last thing: THERE'S BACON!!!!!

[Thilde]

Hey Abs, just stopping by to say hello and cheer you on with your jump ropes this week!! We shall jump our way to victory.

Also, one more thing...

Last thing: THERE'S BACON!!!!!

OMG how did I write an entire paragraph about paleo/primal without mentioning THE BACON?!?

[Absidey]

I feel you shin pain-mine look like a dalmatian with all the bruises (the socks are helping with the scrapping, but I'm still getting bruises-meh, I'll be tougher for it).

I don't bruise easily, so I guess it's coming in handy. Usually I don't like it, because it HURTS and I deserve something for my pain. Also, people think I'm a wuss when I complain I bashed myself with a hammer like whoa and there's nothing there.

There's always room for more cacophony! Are you a word nerd too? I love words.

LOVE the chart! Only edit is that as a poultry scientist, I disagree with the "would it have a face if you didn't pull it from the nest"-table eggs are infertile, so it would never have had a face no matter how long you left it in the nest. [/chicken-nerding]

Since I'm also relatively new to paleo, I'll offer my advice with a grain of salt. Hit up paleomg.com or nomnompaleo.com or just google paleo recipes-when I started I was meh about veggies, but thanks to all the creative recipes I'm considering getting a "I <3 veggies" tattoo now! And planning is key-the majority of my cheats are when I haven't prepared any food or bought any seeds/nuts to snack on and now I'm hungry and instant noodles take 2 mins to cook! I keep some dairy in mine diet too, so don't worry about it. If after the 28 days you aren't seeing the changes you want, think about reducing the dairy or tweaking in some other way. I think the wild rice should be OK occasionally-the impression that I get is that it's processed carbs (bread, pasta, cereal) that are the big no-no. Hit up the recipes though-I found one for cauliflower rice, gives you the same texture as white rice without all the junk and it's super filling! Pretty much any dish can be remade paleo.

The bottom line is what works for you. If your brain freaks out at being told "never eating this again", allow yourself the occasional cheat-much better to make a conscience decision of "I'll have this one cheat" than to deny until you break and eat all the things. If keeping a little of dairy in means you stick to it, then do it.

Try some sweet potato fries or high cocoa dark chocolate for the sugar cravings. I can only make it through about 1 square of dark chocolate and I'm done wanting sugar or chocolate for a long time!

Last thing: THERE'S BACON!!!!!

Thanks for the sites! I'm hoping it's not too rough, since I've been watching my macros and total calories for almost a year, now I'm just scaling them a different way. I've got practice with the planning thing, anyway. Once I get some momentum, I'll be more okay with random cheats, but starting out, it's a bad idea for me to go there. I did try some dark chocolate and it doesn't really do it for me. If nothing else is available, sure, a little piece, and I'm good. If I really want a snickers bar though, dark chocolate is a speed bump on the peanutty delicious offramp.

I'm totally buying bacon so I can have a BLT this weekend. (Just the B, L, and T. Is mayo paleo? I think I might be able to make a reasonable alternative.)

Hey Abs, just stopping by to say hello and cheer you on with your jump ropes this week!! We shall jump our way to victory.

Also, one more thing...

OMG how did I write an entire paragraph about paleo/primal without mentioning THE BACON?!?

Thanks, but I'm on the sidelines for this one. I took out my "level 50" non-rope jumps from this morning, because I can jump rope for real, so they don't count. (I was trying to sneak some in before I got home to do level 2.) However! It kind of defeats the purpose for me to scale back my mobility goals to baby my shins if I'm going to spend the week jumping around like a spastic bunny. Not much babying going on there. And they're still sore, poor things. Shin splints are the devil.

Days 15 and 16, Weeeeek! 3 Targets

Action: 1/7 pts

Lifting - 1 pt

Diet: 10/18 pts

2 days tracking - 2 pts

2 day no stupid - 2 pts

6 primal meals - 6 pts (I really can't ease into anything. I am a face first kind of girl.)

Mobility: 1/4 pts

Do ALLLL the stretching - 1 pt

Relax: 0/5 pts

(Will do some before bed and report back in the am)

[Thilde]

Thanks, but I'm on the sidelines for this one. I took out my "level 50" non-rope jumps from this morning, because I can jump rope for real, so they don't count. (I was trying to sneak some in before I got home to do level 2.) However! It kind of defeats the purpose for me to scale back my mobility goals to baby my shins if I'm going to spend the week jumping around like a spastic bunny. Not much babying going on there. And they're still sore, poor things. Shin splints are the devil.

Ack! Somehow I missed that you have the shin splints. That stinks because they are indeed the devil. Definitely baby those shins, and jump roping sounds like it definitely needs to be out for now. No worries! We Rangers will rally around our fallen brethren and jump our little hearts out.

Days 15 and 16, Weeeeek! 3 Targets

Action: 1/7 pts

Lifting - 1 pt

Diet: 10/18 pts

2 days tracking - 2 pts

2 day no stupid - 2 pts

6 primal meals - 6 pts (I really can't ease into anything. I am a face first kind of girl.)

Mobility: 1/4 pts

Do ALLLL the stretching - 1 pt

Relax: 0/5 pts

(Will do some before bed and report back in the am)

Way to go! Look at all those purty points. I didn't ease into primal either...it felt weird to do paleo/primal only part of the time so I just went in whole hog (hee hee, cuz hogs are where bacon comes from SEEWHATIDIDTHERE?! ) a couple days before last challenge. Way to jump into the deep end, keep up all this splendiferous work!

[CyningaDena]

To all those people who keep saying, "ohhh, the human body was meant to run, like, 50 miles a day, see the developed glutes and head position and shit? we're built to be runners," I just point to shin splints. Naturally select your way out of that, bitches.

Your paleo chart made me giggle. Although Kuiken is totally right (my mom would love you, K! she's the crazy chicken lady), and I also feel compelled to point out that Grilled Cheezus has a face, too. So, watch out for them loopholes.

[Samunwal]

Grilled Cheezus! Who's mom? The Virgin Dairy?

Kuiken- poultry scientist, huh? Suddenly, the heavily armed chick makes so much sense!

Dairy- I don't buy the arguement to leave it out because man is the only animal that drinks milk beyond infancy. That's only because the other animals can't figure out how to keep someone providing it to them past infancy. Plus, man is also the only animal to fly via aritificial means and use anti-biotics, and I ain't giving those up, either.

Absy- keep kicking those goals in the face. For the shin splints, just back off your mileage a bit. Baby those gals.

[Kuiken]

OMG how did I write an entire paragraph about paleo/primal without mentioning THE BACON?!?

Hahaha-I KNOW! They should just put "We've Got Bacon" on all paleo diet books.

I don't bruise easily, so I guess it's coming in handy. Usually I don't like it, because it HURTS and I deserve something for my pain. Also, people think I'm a wuss when I complain I bashed myself with a hammer like whoa and there's nothing there.

There's always room for more cacophony! Are you a word nerd too? I love words.

I bruise like a peach, so I'm just used to it. At least I know where these shin bruises come from-most of the time I have no idea what I ran into, just the bruise to prove that I did something (something probably awesome).

I'm a huge word nerd! Some of my favs: ameliorate, ubiquitous, and developmental trajectory (ok-that's 2, but it sounds cooler than saying "growth"). Sadly I can't spell most of the words, but I do have access to spell check. I see this thread derailing into word porn anon...

Your paleo chart made me giggle. Although Kuiken is totally right (my mom would love you, K! she's the crazy chicken lady), and I also feel compelled to point out that Grilled Cheezus has a face, too. So, watch out for them loopholes.

Crazy chicken lady? I think you mean perfectly logical and intelligent poultry enthusiast.

Cheezus Toast Super Carb? What do you even do with that? I would feel too awkward to eat it. Worse-what if you're an atheist? And how come they never get pictures of Richard Dawkins on their breakfast food? So many questions.

Grilled Cheezus! Who's mom? The Virgin Dairy?

Kuiken- poultry scientist, huh? Suddenly, the heavily armed chick makes so much sense!

Dairy- I don't buy the arguement to leave it out because man is the only animal that drinks milk beyond infancy. That's only because the other animals can't figure out how to keep someone providing it to them past infancy. Plus, man is also the only animal to fly via aritificial means and use anti-biotics, and I ain't giving those up, either.

LOL-I'm trying to create my own army of chickens with which I will one day rule the world! My plan would advance faster if my chicky soilders weren't so damn delicious. And I agree with you on the milk-if cats had opposable thumbs, the dairy industry would collapse due to mass theft.

Good luck on the paleo Abs-it'll probably be easier to just dive in. Hope it goes deliciously for you today!

EDIT:

Is mayo paleo?

I think this is the only acceptable paleo mayo.

Baconnaise?!

Plus it's lite-I mean because if I'm in the market for a spread that combines bacon and mayonnaise, calories are obviously my first concern. Sadly I didn't buy it, so I have no idea if it is indeed the "ultimate bacon spread"; the light brown poo color put me off it. x_x

[Absidey]

It was so hard not to laugh yesterday at the office, it's a miracle I didn't asphyxiate

Ack! Somehow I missed that you have the shin splints. That stinks because they are indeed the devil. Definitely baby those shins, and jump roping sounds like it definitely needs to be out for now. No worries! We Rangers will rally around our fallen brethren and jump our little hearts out.

I’m cheering! Go team (guild?)!

To all those people who keep saying, "ohhh, the human body was meant to run, like, 50 miles a day, see the developed glutes and head position and shit? we're built to be runners," I just point to shin splints. Naturally select your way out of that, bitches.

Your paleo chart made me giggle. Although Kuiken is totally right (my mom would love you, K! she's the crazy chicken lady), and I also feel compelled to point out that Grilled Cheezus has a face, too. So, watch out for them loopholes.

Lol. Olololol.

I'll just ask, “Is it an egg? Yes/no,†instead. =D I’ve sent the chart to a couple a people I’ve told about primal eating, since I'm apparently crap at explaining it, and it seems to do well enough for that. Now I’ve suddenly got four advisors letting me know how primal they think whatever I’m eating at that moment is. That might get old.

Dairy- I don't buy the arguement to leave it out because man is the only animal that drinks milk beyond infancy. That's only because the other animals can't figure out how to keep someone providing it to them past infancy. Plus, man is also the only animal to fly via aritificial means and use anti-biotics, and I ain't giving those up, either.

Also, recreational sex. Us and dolphins, the deviants of the animal kingdom. I wonder how dolphins feel about milk? Plus, lots of animals eat other animals’ eggs. I don’t see much of a distinction. Eggs = non-mammal baby food. Milk = mammal baby food. It’s just easier to get your paws on someone else’s egg than it is to make off with a lactating mammary gland.

most of the time I have no idea what I ran into, just the bruise to prove that I did something (something probably awesome).

Strangely enough, that DOES happen to me occasionally, and it’s always a truly spectacular bruise, the kind that people see and ask, “Dear god, are you alright?†Usually in strange places, too, so I not only have to wonder WHAT I did, but how it was anatomically possible without hurting anything around it.

I'm a huge word nerd! Some of my favs: ameliorate, ubiquitous, and developmental trajectory (ok-that's 2, but it sounds cooler than saying "growth"). Sadly I can't spell most of the words, but I do have access to spell check. I see this thread derailing into word porn anon...

I like the kind that add a suffix/prefix and change the way the root word is pronounced. None of which I can think of right now, because I'm braindead. Also: chromatic.

Cheezus Toast Super Carb? What do you even do with that? I would feel too awkward to eat it. Worse-what if you're an atheist? And how come they never get pictures of Richard Dawkins on their breakfast food? So many questions.

Maybe it’s something to do with the special relationship between Christ and bread-as-body. It’s always toast, isn’t it? Has there ever been a Jesus banana?

Plus it's lite-I mean because if I'm in the market for a spread that combines bacon and mayonnaise, calories are obviously my first concern. Sadly I didn't buy it, so I have no idea if it is indeed the "ultimate bacon spread"; the light brown poo color put me off it. x_x

Haha, I’ve seen it, but never in lite variety. I’ll admit, I have bacon flavored salt, but it’s not bacony enough. It’s not really very salty either. Bacon-spread is.. eh, I’m a bacon purist. I don’t think it can be improved upon, so they’re just diluting my bacon. Bacon-blasphemy! I’m much more concerned with whether or not I can have curry mayo. Sure, I can’t dunk fries in it anymore, but it’s good on everything. Maybe curry greek yogurt?

Days 17 Week 3 Targets

Action: 1/7 pts

Diet: 13/18 pts

tracking - 1 pts

2 primal meals - 2 pts (Someone brought in homemade cherry pecan double chocolate chip cookies. Wow. For dinner, my meal was primal, but I tasted some of Kate's mac and cheese, so I don't think I can count it)

Mobility: 1/4 pts

Relax: 1/5 pts

Some fractured meditation, I was feeling wiggly. - 1 pt

I forgot my breakfast this morning. =/

I have questions about primal calorie levels. I was eating about 1600 calories a day, approximately 40% carb, 30% protein, and 30% fat, and I ate a bit extra protein on the days I'd lift. (Plus something a little carbier post workout, like a smoothie with fruit.) I intend it to be a 300ish calorie/day deficit from my daily expenditure, and it was “enough†if I was eating wholesome food.

The three days I’ve done (mostly) primal (20% carb, 30% protein, 50% fat), I’ve had 1200, 1700 (lifting day), and 1500 calories, and I’ve been uncomfortably full. I haven’t quite gotten proportionately enough fat on any day, but I think it’s more likely to make me feel even more full, since fat is even slower burning than protein. However, it’s more calories per gram, so maybe it’s too much volume of food I’m feeling? Is this just a normal part of the reset period? Should I drop my calorie intake down a bit? It could be impending period bloat, I suppose, but it doesn’t really feel like what I usually get with PMS. It feels like I went nuts at a Vegas buffet.

[Absidey]

Someone else want to come potty train my offspring? I need a break.

[Samunwal]

Now I’ve suddenly got four advisors letting me know how primal they think whatever I’m eating at that moment is. That might get old.

If it does, the proper primal response is to just beat the crap out of them with a turkey leg. They'll take the hint.

Also, recreational sex. Us and dolphins, the deviants of the animal kingdom. I wonder how dolphins feel about milk? Plus, lots of animals eat other animals’ eggs. I don’t see much of a distinction. Eggs = non-mammal baby food. Milk = mammal baby food. It’s just easier to get your paws on someone else’s egg than it is to make off with a lactating mammary gland.

Almost added recreational sex, but since I'm already dubbed the "Bear Grylls of the Bathroom," thought it might be greedy to go for the "BG of the Bedroom" too. Saw wild dolphin sex once kayaking in the Everglades. REALLY impressive. Gouts of water 10 feet into the air. Thought a bull shark was tearing something apart until I got close enough to see both of them, then was afraid me and my gray kayak were going to get drafted into the festivities. Great report at the emergency room- "and then, Flipper had his way with me..." (see Carl Hiassen's "Native Tongue" for the most creative use of a dolphin's sex drive I've ever seen). Stolen mammaries- "All units, all units, be on the look out for a boobie bandit..."

Maybe it’s something to do with the special relationship between Christ and bread-as-body. It’s always toast, isn’t it? Has there ever been a Jesus banana?

I have seen pancakes and potato chips.

Haha, I’ve seen it, but never in lite variety. I’ll admit, I have bacon flavored salt, but it’s not bacony enough. It’s not really very salty either. Bacon-spread is.. eh, I’m a bacon purist. I don’t think it can be improved upon, so they’re just diluting my bacon. Bacon-blasphemy! I’m much more concerned with whether or not I can have curry mayo. Sure, I can’t dunk fries in it anymore, but it’s good on everything. Maybe curry greek yogurt?

Greek yogurt does fine making tzatztiki, and it's all over Turkish foods, so give it a shot

Someone else want to come potty train my offspring? I need a break.

Duct tape- right to the toilet seat. (It's JOKE- don't hate me!! I NEVER did that with mine- the threat of the staple gun was enough.) Just hang in there. They all get it eventually. Remember - even our most stupid classmates in high school were all out of their diapers by then.

[Absidey]

Almost added recreational sex, but since I'm already dubbed the "Bear Grylls of the Bathroom," thought it might be greedy to go for the "BG of the Bedroom" too. Saw wild dolphin sex once kayaking in the Everglades. REALLY impressive. Gouts of water 10 feet into the air. Thought a bull shark was tearing something apart until I got close enough to see both of them, then was afraid me and my gray kayak were going to get drafted into the festivities. Great report at the emergency room- "and then, Flipper had his way with me..." (see Carl Hiassen's "Native Tongue" for the most creative use of a dolphin's sex drive I've ever seen). Stolen mammaries- "All units, all units, be on the look out for a boobie bandit..."

One of the other threads had a disturbing factoid about dolphin nasal (blowhole) penentration too. It's lucky you and your kayak survived!

I have seen pancakes and potato chips.

Oh, fine. We can make a flying spagetti monster food revelation for Kuiken. What's the best primal noodly appendage, do you think?

Duct tape- right to the toilet seat. (It's JOKE- don't hate me!! I NEVER did that with mine- the threat of the staple gun was enough.) Just hang in there. They all get it eventually. Remember - even our most stupid classmates in high school were all out of their diapers by then.

Oh, I've thought about it. I did make her sit for about 20 minutes after the third "accident" in half an hour. I know, I know. "This too shall pass." I just get tired of everything being a battle of wills, and now there's urine in the mix! I don't want to even think about Kate in Hight School, thank you.

Days 18 Week 3 Targets

Action: 1/7 pts

I put off my workout until this morning, so it'll be in the next tally. But I did do it, I swear!

Diet: 14/18 pts

Missed my tracking point because I can't remember if I ate anything last night. I remember chomping like 6 gummy vitamins, but everything after that is a blur.... (And I was out cold by 8:30.)

1 primal meal - 1 pt We got free pizza at work for lunch, and one of them was covered with fresh tomatoes, and I couldn't resist it. Oh, it was awesome. It wasn't super carb-loaded, because it was a really thin crust, and I still ate my chicken and vegetables rather than fill up on pizza, but it wasn't a primal meal by any stretch. I didn't snack, and I'm fairly certain I didn't eat dinner? So, yeah.

Mobility: 1/4 pts

Relax: 2/5 pts

Meditation - 1 pt Surprisingly decent, considering how fractured I felt.

[CyningaDena]

Ohhh man, what happened yesterday that you don't remember if you ate dinner? That sounds like a rough one. /comfort

And how come they never get pictures of Richard Dawkins on their breakfast food?

A google search for "richard dawkins pancake" returns some truly disappointing results.

We also, since we're compiling a list, need to add bonobos to the animals who realize the shameful, dirty, sinful fun of recreational sex. I suppose it's only a matter of time before those creatures also evolve a Pope to tell them just how shameful, dirty, and sinful it is. I could totally get behind a dolphin Pope.

A google search for "dolphin pope" also returns some pitiful crap. Interwebs, y u no awesome today?!?!?

[Samunwal]

Here's one that's totally true the bonobos reminded me of. Some researchers ran an experiment with one of the smaller monkeys a while back in whihc the monkeys could earn money. They were trying to see if the monkeys could get the abstract concept of it. If the monkeys perofrmed a task, they received some kind of token. The only way they could get some food or treats was with the tokens, so the monkeys actually got on board with it. Howver, they stopped the experiment when they realized only the female monkeys were turning in tokens because all of the male monkeys were giving their tokens to the females in exchange for carnal favors. The researchers simultaneously created a simian economy and simian prostitution.

And the first time a dolphin swims up to my kayak in a mitre (big Pope post-hole digger looking hat), I'm soiling myself right there. Then CD is going to have some major 'splaining to do.

[Absidey]

Okay, it's not a dolphin, but it made me giggle.

I read about that bonobo study, too, and got a good laugh at it. I have curiosity! Would it be unethical to study the patterns of simian prostitution?

[Samunwal]

Would monkey hookers wear little fishnet hose? Would they interfere with their ability to climb? I think it would be fascinating, but eveidently the researchers either had a problem with it, or realized it could create some SERIOUS issues for their funding if people found out they were studying the simian Heidi Fleiss. Can you imagine this on Bill O'Reilly? "Scientists are using your money to study monkey hookers!!

[CyningaDena]

Can you imagine this on Bill O'Reilly? "Scientists are using your money to study monkey hookers!!

I see absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I'd start a 5K fundraiser for that cause. Raising awareness of simian prostitution is important! I mean, my new awareness has improved my day vastly.

Edit: In an attempt to find said research study, I ran across this interesting wiki overview of prostitution among animals, which links to the capuchin study Samunwal was referring to. Tarts and hoors!

[Absidey]

I see absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I'd start a 5K fundraiser for that cause. Raising awareness of simian prostitution is important! I mean, my new awareness has improved my day vastly.

Edit: In an attempt to find said research study, I ran across this interesting wiki overview of prostitution among animals, which links to the capuchin study Samunwal was referring to. Tarts and hoors!

I'll run in your Animal Tarts and Hoors 5K for donations.

Very interesting wiki article, especially with the penguins. I think this is suspect though:

According to research paper published in the journal Animal Behaviour, as reported by The Cambridge Student, long-tailed macaque males use grooming to pay for sex.

I'm not sure that should really count. Maybe being groomed just feels good? I give it up after a massage, and I don't think that's really a payment. Unless I bargained for a massage in advance, in which case, it totally is.