Running out of ass puns

[Wolverine]

EDIT: Rocked the fuck out of yoga class and gonna go put on Wonder Woman. "Free day" can suck it.

You continue to amaze and inspire me. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so honest (and not taking it down with your edit).

I've been in enough therapy to know that HAVING thoughts such as these is entirely normal and there's nothing wrong with having them. It's what you DO with them that matters. It takes strength to have them, acknowledge them, voice them, and then act responsibly. You're like a real life Wonder Woman.

And, with that said and in your honor, I will NOT be binging as planned at my family Halloween party.

I wonder if I can find a Wonder Woman costume by tonight...

[TeaKwonDo]

You continue to amaze and inspire me. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so honest (and not taking it down with your edit).

I've been in enough therapy to know that HAVING thoughts such as these is entirely normal and there's nothing wrong with having them. It's what you DO with them that matters. It takes strength to have them, acknowledge them, voice them, and then act responsibly. You're like a real life Wonder Woman.

And, with that said and in your honor, I will NOT be binging as planned at my family Halloween party.

I wonder if I can find a Wonder Woman costume by tonight...

Your words mean a lot. And I'd totally lend you my costume if your awesome tuck-planching muscles wouldn't bust it. =P

Here's how it turned out today (partial costume since it's CHILLY OUT, MAN):

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6065[/ATTACH]

And progress from yesterday:

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6066[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]6067[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]6068[/ATTACH]

Back to homework!

[catspaw]

Can't get the idea of binging out of my head. Now that I'm eating maintainence on rest days, I'm not even hungry, but insomnia is rearing its ugly head most nights now. Been popping magnesium like candy (400 pwo, 400 at dinner, 800 before bed) but it doesn't seem to help, even if I do an extra cap during the night.

It's bad enough that I don't even remember most of yesterday's Victorian Lit class because I was planning out Saturday--a "free day" where I go to the supermarket, get a bag of Halloween candy and whatever goddamn pastries I want, maybe even an entire cake, and bring it home along with a massive fucking extra-meat-extra-cheese calzone from the diner. Then spend the rest of the afternoon marathoning Sherlock with my feast, close the eating window early at 5-7, and join friends for video game night like nothing is wrong. Spend Sunday in the library with coffee, decaf, tea, and a really, really good book.

This fantasy, and the excitement of planning it, was one of the things that kept me up last night. Rationally, I know that this is fucking ridiculous. I love being primal/paleo. LG has been serving me well. No matter what, I eat to my heart's content every night, massive food babies, so satiety is no problem. I don't have any of the familiar symptoms of being underweight/undereating; body temperature has been stable (Skip the sweater and go out in just a shirt and scarf? Don't mind if I do!) and making progress with workouts.

Burnout? I don't even know. Haven't binged since France, April or May. Emotional eating threads on here make me crave binging. What really did it was a bulking thread posted on FFF. I've windowshopped Domino's online menu and the pizza joints in the surrounding area. "Everyone has one of those moments, you can totally get away with one of your own. Even though it'll fuck up your system for two days and you DEFINITELY won't get sleep because remember what happened in France. The Sunday fast will mitigate the damage. And who knows, maybe it'll even be one of those crazy miracle cheat-day effects people talk about, where you actually LOSE pudge--wouldn't that be something?"

I'm posting about it here because I have nowhere else to go and no one who I want knowing about these sick thoughts.

Typed "thesis" instead of "these."

My advisor would be disappointed in me. We've gotten really close this semester--I clean his office and he keeps me grounded by reminding me why I fucking love my thesis and the things I do, the stories I have in me that don't see light anymore but one day they will. My parents would be concerned again. My friends on campus don't know what to do with me. Ok, a couple of them do, in ways that have nothing whatsoever to do with food or fitness, they're the ones who see me less regularly. I should spend more time with them. Seems like my usual group is making me more depressed, even if it's the socialization that I need.

Body craves other things, too, beyond sleep and food. If I can't even take care of myself, how can I expect to deserve a relationship at this point in my life?

As always, you are too hard on yourself.

Personally, I know that I start to get binge-fantasies when I'm being too strict with food, or if lack the ability to say "fuckitall!" in other aspects of my life. Chances are that your brain keeps going there not because it genuinely wants more food, but because of the rebellion / indulgence / etc. factors. If you can figure out which it is, you might be able to satisfy it in other ways.

If your usual group is making you depressed, pick a different group for a while. Heck, reach out to a friend you rarely talk to and say "I need a night off to meet new people -- can we co-host a dinner party and invite tons of your friends I've never met?". Or hang out in #nerdfitness with us sometime.

Lastly, on the relationship front, I think there's a subtle but important distinction here: relationships can't complete you. If you feel incomplete without them, it may bandaid that but won't fix it long term. However, that doesn't mean that you don't "deserve" a relationship until you're "complete". Long journeys are often well-spent in the company of others. If it's something you crave right now, what's stopping you from finding a nice someone and asking them out?

Love the costume. You look strong and confident in it.

[goodwince]

Excellent posts.. Good work and heartfelt message.

I'm more impressed by your feelings and how although you feel them, you stay in control! That's awesome! Window shopping dominoes is much better to going "fuccc.." I ate it now I feel terrible!

I totally agree with Dillpedo! Therapy really does help me realize that feelings that I have are normal (if they're not explanations to why I am this way helps ) and you're really doing amazing with everying. Haven't binged since May? Holy crap! You're good!

Interesting take on the rebellion piece catspaw. I'm going to have to think about this for a bit because that could partially be my problem. I've always been passively-aggressive rebellious!

Agreed, check out meetups to meet new people. Maybe you can find some fun people with similar interests, meetups is a great place to look!

Relationships definitely can't complete you, but we all get lonely from time to time.. just power through because you'll find that someone. You obviously don't lack the patience/perseverance to find the right one.

Really pretty as wonder woman!

[TeaKwonDo]

Goddamn NF, this support came really unexpected.

It makes a difference. It really does. Thank you.

The best way to move on from this is just that--to move on. The more you return to the things that get you down, whether it's as minor as griping repeatedly about a friend, the more it's going to keep you in that negative frame of mind. One of the best ways to pull yourself out of it is to focus on someone else. Let the story be about them. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Hold the door for them. Ask about their day. Get out of your head and fill it with them instead.

One day at a time. Thanks again Dill, Catspaw and Goodwince.

[TeaKwonDo]

Got into the gym and went, "Not in the mood for the circuit. Break out the myo-reps."

Recap:

Myo-rep dips: 8 + 2^14

Myo-rep pistols: 6 + 2^13 each leg

Activation set was fine, the rest felt unfairly easy until the last couple of sets. Pistol form actually got better with each set. 3 reps per set next time.

Chins: 2 x10

Pulls: 1

None from a dead hang, but definitely a greater ROM than two months ago! Lawl. New mission: working full ROM in sets of two consecutives rather than by individual negatives.

1/4-tuck neg dragons: 5 x3, 20-30s Wheel between sets

Static superset: Pseudo tuck planche ~5-10s x2-3 / TfBL ~20s

Finger plank: 90s

1-leg side planks: 90s

Reverse plank: 100s

Didn't wreck me as much as the usual routine. Dandy, I've now got a point from which to scale over the next couple of weeks. Talk about a circuit breaker--ba-dum kssh.

Still have insomnia, though. Played the "Listen to your body" game yesterday and got an extra hour of sleep, rested up doing homework, minimal extra walking, and went to bed early at 8:45pm, only to get maybe 3 hours of sleep. The rest of the night was spent with a mind racing on its hamster-wheel. And this was with having taken 5 400mg caps of magnesium between 6:30pm and 11pm. The craziest bit is that the carb craving is still massive, which always means that I've got major sleep debt since it vanishes after a real healing sleep. So ok body, you want sleep, so I take extra care to give it to you, and you turn your nose up at it? What gives?

I did read, however, that an excess of cruciferous veg will block thyroid action. I've got Hashimoto's that's taken care of with medication, and I make sure to well salt my food for the iodine. But I do eat a metric ton of broccoli during the week, especially rest days can get up to 2 pounds in one meal easy. And all my worst nights have been after meals like that. Could my beloved brocc be the culprit? I'll cut it out next week, cut the morning coffee in half but keep the tea, and see what happens. If no change, then I'm turning to sleep supplements.

[Elastigirl]

Insomnia sucks. Are you sure you are eating enough? Not having enough calories may make your body stay awake. And eat a good amount of fat-maybe try eating at least one avocado a day and see if that helps. I've had trouble getting to sleep this last week and finally figured it was due to me having a cup of tea at 4:00. Which made me grumpy that I was that caffeine sensitive, I mean I don't go to bed until 11:00, and tea at 4:00 was keeping me awake. GRRR. But last afternoon I skipped the tea, and went to sleep no problem. Guess if I'm dragging in the afternoon I'll have to take a walk to wake me up

[Wolverine]

I struggle with insomnia too. Went away with a newborn (holy crap, I have never been so tired all of the time), but it's back now that The Boy Wonder is sleeping through the night. I too found that I was extra sensitive to caffeine. Cut WAY back and have to be careful about drinking coffee (even decaf) after about noon. LAME.

Now I treat with a combo of mediation and reading dry non-fiction. Works maybe 50% of the time. The rest of the time I get a lot of reading done.

[goodwince]

Wow 2 pounds of broccoli in one meal!! I could do that, but haven't tried! Yeah definitely experiment with some of the measure others posted! So you can get 10 chins, but only one pullup?

I like dillpedo's method. Definitely get some extra reading in haha

[TeaKwonDo]

Insomnia sucks. Are you sure you are eating enough? Not having enough calories may make your body stay awake. And eat a good amount of fat-maybe try eating at least one avocado a day and see if that helps. I've had trouble getting to sleep this last week and finally figured it was due to me having a cup of tea at 4:00. Which made me grumpy that I was that caffeine sensitive, I mean I don't go to bed until 11:00, and tea at 4:00 was keeping me awake. GRRR. But last afternoon I skipped the tea, and went to sleep no problem. Guess if I'm dragging in the afternoon I'll have to take a walk to wake me up

According to MFP I'm definitely getting enough calories: 1800 on rest days and 2200 on workout days. Will try upping the fat, and hopefully that with reducing caffeine should help. Fingers crossed.

I struggle with insomnia too. Went away with a newborn (holy crap, I have never been so tired all of the time), but it's back now that The Boy Wonder is sleeping through the night. I too found that I was extra sensitive to caffeine. Cut WAY back and have to be careful about drinking coffee (even decaf) after about noon. LAME.

Now I treat with a combo of mediation and reading dry non-fiction. Works maybe 50% of the time. The rest of the time I get a lot of reading done.

I've got the same issue, unfortunately. Ah well, we'll see what happens next week with the experimentation.

Wow 2 pounds of broccoli in one meal!! I could do that, but haven't tried! Yeah definitely experiment with some of the measure others posted! So you can get 10 chins, but only one pullup?

I like dillpedo's method. Definitely get some extra reading in haha

Errp, I meant 10 sets of 2 chins. Dang rep/set notation. =P

And lawl, if nothing else I'd be able to get my homework readings done.

[TeaKwonDo]

I did the free day.

BUT.

1) One meal only. The rest of my day is ginger and herbal tea for the belly.

2) I did not make it into a shameful occasion, nor a celebratory one. I picked what I wanted, the way I wanted, on the day I wanted, and enjoyed the hell out of it, rather than waiting until I was super depressed and vulnerable. As soon as eating stopped being enjoyable, I stopped and threw the rest out. Done. Carried on with the rest of my day. The sky didn't fall in, but damn was that insulin rush awful.

3) Spending time with "normal" food makes you appreciate paleo so much more. It's also liberating to not think about meals for the next 24 hours--productivity ahoy!

Gonna take the rest of the weekend to do exactly that--rest. That's what my body has been craving more than anything, and I'm happy to give it. If I lose my abs for a week, so be it, as long as the extra carbage makes Monday's workout fucking awesome.

[goodwince]

What was the meal?

That's a good idea to make it only one and to not wait till you're ready to binge and overeat.. then feel like shit haha! Congrats on overcoming it quickly then setting the bar well for the rest of the day.

I don't think you'll lose the abs from a little rest! Give it to the body! Actually might help if you're body is craving it..

[Wolverine]

Gonna take the rest of the weekend to do exactly that--rest. That's what my body has been craving more than anything, and I'm happy to give it. If I lose my abs for a week, so be it, as long as the extra carbage makes Monday's workout fucking awesome.

I read this as "extra cabbage" and was like "Dudebro, don't do it! Extra cabbage before a workout is like I recipe for disaster!"

[TeaKwonDo]

It was an awesome rest weekend. 'Nuff said.

Workout recap!

5 min treadmill warmup

Myo-rep dips: 8 + 2^13

Myo-rep pistols: 7 + 2^12 each leg

First 5 sets with ~5s rest, next 5 <10s rest, remainder ≥10s rest.

Chins: 3 x2, 4 x3, 3 x2

Pulls: 2 x1, 1 x1

Still none from a dead hang, but the reps are nice and explosive, 10-15s rest between sets.

1/4-tuck neg dragons: 5 x3, 20-30s Wheel between sets

Hot mess tuck planche PFFFF I don't even know. Kept trying with the tips from Dill and Waldo, but the most I can do is a lean on the very tips of my toes. So just kept doing it over and over again with varying hold times, wasn't keeping track.

TfBL ~20-30s

Finger plank: 100s

1-leg side planks: 110s

Reverse plank: 100s

Total: 1:07:43--was doing pretty well until the damn not-tuck-planche. Statics take forever, boo.

[TeaKwonDo]

End of challenge already? Ah well!

Name: Knockingdog

Race: Centaur

Class: Assassin

Age: 20

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 115-ish lbs

STR: 8 + 3.2 = 11.2

DEX: 4.25 + 1.6 + .75 = 6.6

STA: 9 + 3.2 = 12.2

CON: 7.25 + 1.8 = 9.05

WIS: 6.5 + .25 = 6.75

CHA: 4.5 + .25 = 4.75

Goals

1) Keep laying the foundation of bodyweight training: 1 complete, dead-hang pullup, 10-second wall handstand, 30-second advanced frog stand, and 5-second tuck L-sit. (+4 STR) (+2 DEX) (+4 STA)

This serves as quantitative measurements of progress. Meanwhile I'll be fine-tuning my other tricks: full ROM one-arm pushups, pistols without the elevated leg touching the ground, and full ROM dragon flags. Form and focus in workouts, as always. Gearing up to get to the fun stuff, like tuck planches, 1-arm elbow levers, and head-to-handstands.

Busted out the advanced frog stand and the L-sit, and my chins are from a near-dead-hang. No handstand work, and scarcely any headstand practice, but my pistols barely touch the ground, pulled off some 1-arm elbow levers, dragon flags getting untucked, and I'm inching towards the tuck planche. Solid B+. (+3.2 STR)(+ 1.6 DEX)(+3.2 STA)

2) Improve yoga: Full front and side splits, touch feet to head in Dancer and/or Bow, complete a floor routine on half-hands.

(+1 DEX)

Been ignoring mobility/prehab work. Bad Kdog. Rest days will be focused on flexibility with as-you-will yoga practice. It doesn't have to be a block of time devoted to plugging out poses; if I get in a full half-hour one day and only 15 minutes the next, that's ok. Even 5 min in Lotus will suffice. I have yoga as a gym class on workout days, so that takes care of the rest of the week. But it has to be daily. I have too much free time and no roommate as an excuse. This is important to my mind as well as my body.

Completed none of the yoga goals, but regular practice happened regardless and I've gotten a lot more flexible. No splits yet, sure, but King Pigeon ain't nothing to sneeze at. Let's call it a B. (+.75 DEX)

3) Support training with Leangains IF: no cheating myself out of hitting macros, so deviating from paleo is acceptable under the circumstances where not doing so would prove counterproductive to recovery. Also max out protein and green veggies on rest days, at least 180g if not closer to 200g protein. (+2 CON)

Same goal as last challenge, just fiddled with the macros a bit. If I decide to alter my training schedule after New York Comic Con, then this will be changed accordingly, but otherwise we're pretty cool where it's at.

Nailed this one except for the free day. A-. (+1.8 CON)

4) Bang out the GRE and have a solid thesis outline or a chapter's worth of writing. (+1 WIS) (+1 CHA)

GRE = grad school = future. Thesis = ditto. 'Nuff said.

GRE not banged, thesis not outlined. It's a D. (+.25 WIS) (+.25 CHA)

I'm not unhappy with the results. Learned more than I expected, lots of emotional punches to the gut, and overall... Well, at the end of the day I'm KDog. And I'm cool with that.

[Wolverine]

This is the part of challenges that I hate. You rocked so many things and rolled with so many punches and made so many mental breakthroughs that it bums me out that this is all ending on a sour note for you. You rocked it KD, maybe not like you wanted or expected or planned, but you rocked it all the same.

[goodwince]

Eventhough, you gave yourself a D, you ended with "I'm cool with that". You're a hardworker and hard on yourself at times, but you've got the right mentality going forward!

Great work! I'm impressed with your achievements. Giving yourself B's is kinda crazy, but each their own. We are grading ourselves after-all. You grew so I'm going to give you congratulations anyways. That's the advantage to NF it helps us seek out growth. Everyone here is in growth mode

[TeaKwonDo]

Eventhough, you gave yourself a D, you ended with "I'm cool with that". You're a hardworker and hard on yourself at times, but you've got the right mentality going forward!

Great work! I'm impressed with your achievements. Giving yourself B's is kinda crazy, but each their own. We are grading ourselves after-all. You grew so I'm going to give you congratulations anyways. That's the advantage to NF it helps us seek out growth. Everyone here is in growth mode

I graded myself based on the stuff that actually got done, and you can't cheat numbers. It's impossible to quantitatively measure maturity and personal growth (especially without busting into Eat, Pray, Love levels of floofy introspection), so with that in mind, I'm content with the letter grades.

You nailed the beauty of NF right there. It's a small, wild way to mark where you've come from and where you're going, and the crazy ego-drivenness of putting it all on the Interwebz means that yeah, you're showing off, but when it inspires someone reading the thread--that's when it's worth it. Reminds you that this story isn't always about you; whatever godawful trial you're going through is going to mean something to someone else, too, because maybe they're going through something just as painful.

'Cause when the challenge ends and you realize that you still don't have everything figured out, then that's ok. That's what's supposed to happen. My advisor said that perfection is boring, and it is. Imagine perfect macros every day, perfect sets, PRs like clockwork. Where the hell is the fun in that? I'd rather get in there and get a little surprised every time.

This is the part of challenges that I hate. You rocked so many things and rolled with so many punches and made so many mental breakthroughs that it bums me out that this is all ending on a sour note for you. You rocked it KD, maybe not like you wanted or expected or planned, but you rocked it all the same.

Aw shucks, big bear e-hugs for Dill. The challenge didn't end on a sour note at all, just one of those obnoxious, "MAN I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD BE THIS MATURE WOW OK what's next." =P

[TeaKwonDo]

5 min treadmill warmup

Myo-rep dips: 6 + 2^15 Some half-reps in there, balls.

Myo-rep pistols: 7 + 2^14 each leg

Chins: 2/2/1/3/4/4/3/3/3

Pulls: 1/1/1

First few with better ROM.

1/4-tuck neg dragons: 6/7/6, 20-30s Wheel between sets

Pseudo tuck planche ~5-10s x 3 Slooooowwwly slowly making more sense now. Still on tiptoes but we've got the toe-drag and lean down.

TfBL ~20-30s

Finger plank: 100s More weight on actual fingers, huzzah. I think my thumbs are stronger than the rest now, so if my hands were made of thumbs I could totally do it on legit fingertips.

1-leg side planks: 110s

Reverse plank: 100s

Total: 1:03:43.

[goodwince]

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Advantage of the thumb is the length as well. The stubbiness helps out.

Quantitatively you're right and you're challenge gets the grade that would have been deserved based on your initial goals. I suppose I fudge this more than most because I don't want people too upset with the unexpected, that does leave room for excuses though. My goal really was to say overall your mentality has stayed strong, despite the setbacks. Great job!

[Wolverine]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6160[/ATTACH]

Advantage of the thumb is the length as well. The stubbiness helps out.

Quantitatively you're right and you're challenge gets the grade that would have been deserved based on your initial goals. I suppose I fudge this more than most because I don't want people too upset with the unexpected, that does leave room for excuses though. My goal really was to say overall your mentality has stayed strong, despite the setbacks. Great job!

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[goodwince]

Hey Dillpedo, I was just trying to be supportive. Didn't mean to make you sick.

[Wolverine]

Hey Dillpedo, I was just trying to be supportive. Didn't mean to make you sick.

HA. Remind me not to encourage you to be supportive... at least when images are involved...

[TeaKwonDo]

Recap!

5 min treadmill warmup

Myo-rep dips: 8 + 3^1 + 2^13 + 3^1

Myo-rep pistols: 8 + 3^1 + 2^12 R / 8 + 3^1 + 2^13 L

Chins: 4/3/3/4/3/3/3/3/2.5

Pulls: 2/1/1

Holy hell look at those numbers jump. Could've totally done 5 in the first set, too.

1/4-tuck neg dragons: 6/6/7, 20-30s Wheel between sets

Toe-dragging tuck planche ~5-10s x 6 Almostalmostalmost aloft! Eep!

TfBL ~20s

Finger plank: ~100s With the first ~10s on on actual fingertips!

1-leg side planks: ~100s

Reverse plank: ~100s

Total: 1:05:03, plus 10 min treadmill cooldown. Longer than last time, but more work done. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'd rather have a delicious longer workout, focusing on form, that works the muscles properly, than a rush job that fits into the Berkhan 45-min-max-or-you're-just-fucking-around mold. Methinks Berkhan doesn't do tuck planches, anyway.

Overall an awesome, bangin' workout, especially since my right hip/glute/IT band has been acting up this week and by focusing on form, I got a better idea of how to out-train it--if it's possible to have your outer ass dominant, then that's my issue. A true assassin.