Laini gives it (yet another) shot

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

This is one of the biggest reasons to take a break. Believe me, I struggle from the same thing - my diet is usually one of two things: 1) absolutely to-the-macro perfect, or 2) completely off the effing rails. One of my un-written goals this challenge (because we only get 4, grumble) is to not track a single calorie and just, you know, eat. And it's hard, because I worry about not getting enough protein, and eating too much fat on workout days, and all the other small stuff. But in the grand scheme of things, it really probably doesn't matter that much. And if I gain a couple lbs of fat - at least I have the tools to get rid of it (ie, going back to tracking the shit out of my food). Like catspaw said, you're already very lean - it's not like you are putting your health in danger while you sort out your business. Of course no one wants to gain any fat, but figuring out your relationship with food is pretty important too (and to be honest, working with a coach like Martin or Andy would probably make it worse, not better).

I can't imagine going from tracking everything for so long to just.. not. Haha, you have some guts doing that and I wish you the best of luck! It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that can't have a happy in-the-middle of the tracking every bit, and being completely out of control. How do you manage a diet break? Just binge for weeks and hope nothing bad happens? What happens if I just can't control myself if I take a break.. how long should I experiment?

[goodwince]

I can't imagine going from tracking everything for so long to just.. not. Haha, you have some guts doing that and I wish you the best of luck! It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that can't have a happy in-the-middle of the tracking every bit, and being completely out of control. How do you manage a diet break? Just binge for weeks and hope nothing bad happens? What happens if I just can't control myself if I take a break.. how long should I experiment?

This is like an everyday thing for me haha. I go one day being perfect about it and then not tracking at all the next. I don't think you concern yourself with binge. I think the idea is to think healthy, but not sweat it if a bagel enters your life. Focus on health without concern. Binging is just the other side of an unhealthy behavior with food. Ideas anyone?

[msuroo]

I can't imagine going from tracking everything for so long to just.. not. Haha, you have some guts doing that and I wish you the best of luck! It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that can't have a happy in-the-middle of the tracking every bit, and being completely out of control. How do you manage a diet break? Just binge for weeks and hope nothing bad happens? What happens if I just can't control myself if I take a break.. how long should I experiment?

Diet break != binge and pig out (although, I've done that before too). I'm just trying to eat sensibly without writing anything down. I mean, I know what all the right foods are...I've been eating them every day for months. I'm just trying to take the meticulousness out of it. And sure, some more treats might sneak in than would otherwise happen when tracking every macro, but my goal is really to learn how to avoid binging whilst not tracking food. I mean, I can't fool myself - if I start binging, I'll know it. I'm planning on giving it a go for at least this 6 week challenge - we'll see where I am at that point. If I've gotten out of control, I can always go back to strict LG, that obviously worked for me.

[PrincessHeather]

Diet break != binge and pig out (although, I've done that before too). I'm just trying to eat sensibly without writing anything down. I mean, I know what all the right foods are...I've been eating them every day for months. I'm just trying to take the meticulousness out of it. And sure, some more treats might sneak in than would otherwise happen when tracking every macro, but my goal is really to learn how to avoid binging whilst not tracking food. I mean, I can't fool myself - if I start binging, I'll know it. I'm planning on giving it a go for at least this 6 week challenge - we'll see where I am at that point. If I've gotten out of control, I can always go back to strict LG, that obviously worked for me.

THIS! The idea isn't to go from one extreme to the other, but to give yourself a mental break from the planning/recording/obsessing aspect. You know what foods are healthy, you know which ones are treats, and you that you should eat healthy>treats. You'd still probably end up more or less getting decent macros, with the benefit of not freaking out when you get 90g protien instead of 100g.

[weirdquark]

THIS! The idea isn't to go from one extreme to the other, but to give yourself a mental break from the planning/recording/obsessing aspect. You know what foods are healthy, you know which ones are treats, and you that you should eat healthy>treats. You'd still probably end up more or less getting decent macros, with the benefit of not freaking out when you get 90g protien instead of 100g.

Agreed. You can eat reasonable amounts of healthy foods without binging. Generally pay attention to hunger and eat the things you would if you were planning everything out but don't worry about the details.

[goodwince]

Yeah eating healthy is tough sometimes, but in all honesty the only way to do it for a lifetime is to figure out what everyone is saying above. Following catspaw I've found she's about the first person that does more than adequate at it. She's awesome at it. Catspaw any advice?

[msuroo]

Yeah eating healthy is tough sometimes, but in all honesty the only way to do it for a lifetime is to figure out what everyone is saying above. Following catspaw I've found she's about the first person that does more than adequate at it. She's awesome at it. Catspaw any advice?

I think this is key too. I certainly don't want to track every macro for the rest of my life, so at some point I need to learn how to eat ~maintenance without freaking out about it.

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

This is like an everyday thing for me haha. I go one day being perfect about it and then not tracking at all the next. I don't think you concern yourself with binge. I think the idea is to think healthy, but not sweat it if a bagel enters your life. Focus on health without concern. Binging is just the other side of an unhealthy behavior with food. Ideas anyone?

You make it sound so easy.. haha. But you definitely have a point. I should be learning how to get rid of the tracking and carry on with my life as a lifestyle, and not a diet.

Diet break != binge and pig out (although, I've done that before too). I'm just trying to eat sensibly without writing anything down. I mean, I know what all the right foods are...I've been eating them every day for months. I'm just trying to take the meticulousness out of it. And sure, some more treats might sneak in than would otherwise happen when tracking every macro, but my goal is really to learn how to avoid binging whilst not tracking food. I mean, I can't fool myself - if I start binging, I'll know it. I'm planning on giving it a go for at least this 6 week challenge - we'll see where I am at that point. If I've gotten out of control, I can always go back to strict LG, that obviously worked for me.

THIS! The idea isn't to go from one extreme to the other, but to give yourself a mental break from the planning/recording/obsessing aspect. You know what foods are healthy, you know which ones are treats, and you that you should eat healthy>treats. You'd still probably end up more or less getting decent macros, with the benefit of not freaking out when you get 90g protien instead of 100g.

Agreed. You can eat reasonable amounts of healthy foods without binging. Generally pay attention to hunger and eat the things you would if you were planning everything out but don't worry about the details.

Yeah eating healthy is tough sometimes, but in all honesty the only way to do it for a lifetime is to figure out what everyone is saying above. Following catspaw I've found she's about the first person that does more than adequate at it. She's awesome at it. Catspaw any advice?

I think this is key too. I certainly don't want to track every macro for the rest of my life, so at some point I need to learn how to eat ~maintenance without freaking out about it.

You all are awesome. You make great points in trying to let go of the tracking aspect of the diet to allow me to actually live my life and not worry about the stresses of not hitting macro's for the day can cause. I suppose eating mostly naturally is the easiest way to do this. Maybe once I figure out how my body reacts to certain amounts of food a day I can start slowly letting go of the tracking. Although I do like tracking- just not the stressing out about every little detail of it. It makes me feel in control and structured. I bet every nerd can relate to that.

So I'll give this challenge a go at my goals and see how I do. Hopefully I won't crash and burn because of the restrictiveness of it but rather grow from the experience and learn from it too. Then the next challenge will roll around and I'll start to ease up on myself. We'll definitely see where this is going to take us.

I am feeling better too about how every little thing that goes into my body is effecting me. I'm not stressing as much as of now about everything. It comes and goes in phases. Sometimes life hits me and I realize that there are more important things than what I'm eating. Sometimes I distract myself with tracking to ignore some aspects of life. Every day is different, and I'm sure you can all relate to that too.

Thanks so much for the help you guys, you're all awesome.

[70Kel]

I second Goodwince on the Catspaw advice, she really does seem to have the food & exercise program down to a tee & all of the food porn she posts looks delicious & healthy:)

& I am glad you aren't stressing as much

[goodwince]

You make it sound so easy.. haha. But you definitely have a point. I should be learning how to get rid of the tracking and carry on with my life as a lifestyle, and not a diet.

It isn't easy.. that's why I changed my diet over to the new format lol. I mean if you think about it and we are properly restrictive for long enough I'd imagine we'd figure out how many calories we're eating by looking and everything in between. I mean JP at rippedbody does a great job of simplifying.

It just takes time to figure it out.

I suppose eating mostly naturally is the easiest way to do this. Maybe once I figure out how my body reacts to certain amounts of food a day I can start slowly letting go of the tracking. Although I do like tracking- just not the stressing out about every little detail of it. It makes me feel in control and structured. I bet every nerd can relate to that.

Yeah you've already started it tracking for this challenge and you want to do it. I say go for it. I mean honestly I wish I could track everything. Not because I want to limit myself, but because I'm a datanerd. I'd like all my food to be tracked then how I feel throughout each day. My lifts. My sleep patterns. My digestive system and have a road map lol. Then I could do awesome data analysis, but tracking all those factors is willpower all of it's own. Hell I'd even like to keep up with the time it takes to prep for everything.

That doesn't include my real job.. startup.. girlfriend (we just got into that lol).

I am feeling better too about how every little thing that goes into my body is effecting me. I'm not stressing as much as of now about everything. It comes and goes in phases. Sometimes life hits me and I realize that there are more important things than what I'm eating. Sometimes I distract myself with tracking to ignore some aspects of life. Every day is different, and I'm sure you can all relate to that too.

Thanks so much for the help you guys, you're all awesome.

I think your relationship with food isn't terrible. I think part of it is you're a go-getter.. I hate the "Types", but Type A when it comes to the things you care about. And you were working so hard at the physique you want (which isn't far off) that all these setbacks have frustrated you. Your patience has dwindled because of it. Everyone here has just tried to remind you of a familiar word "relax" and get back to having a bit of patience. :]

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Goodwince I have to say you're pretty much on the money... with everything. I hate the whole "types" and everything too, but you have it down to a T when you say that I always give my all with everything, including my diet. And it kills me when I lose control of something so easy as my diet, and takes alot for me to accept that I've screwed up and to get back on the wagon. The book that I'm reading about the science of willpower has given me alot of insight when it comes to learning from mistakes and just getting up and accepting defeat for the time being. I do need to relax.

But like you say, I started this, and I want to finish it. Really its just because I've got nothing better to do than figure out how much I can influence myself with the decisions I make and see where I can get my body. That's really one of the reasons I do this, because I have nothing better to do. Is that sad?

I've pretty much been tracking solidly for a few months now, and ontop of that randomly for almost a year now. I can go through a whole day and estimate almost dead on how much I've eaten. I can probably keep living like this, mindfully paying attention to what I've eaten, although not tracking it. I don't know. I'm content with what I'm doing now, and when life starts picking up and I need to focus on other things I'm sure I will.

BTW I'm down to 150 as of this morning! That beats the 156 I was at when I came back from all my training!

Tomorrow is refeed day!! Chocolate chip pancakes I can hardly wait

[Leimanu]

Just read thru your thread...good job on seeing what's scaring you! Self-awareness is hard. Good luck with finding a healing path for yourself!

I'd like to add: Finding a healthy way of eating is VERY hard! I don't know your whole history, but I'll share some of my own journey. It has taken me OVER A YEAR to figure out just HOW TO EAT. To be mindful, know how food affects me, to be aware of when I want to eat and what I want to eat when, how to cook, and what I like to eat! Literally, about 14 months. I got so frustrated and thought it'd never work, that I was destined to never lose weight (fill in: your fitness goal in the blank). But I got through it by telling myself that 1) I'm trying to break 29 years of bad eating habits; and 2) our culture is not set up for healthy eating. you have to look out for yourself. It's a lifelong journey, but sometimes those knowledge blocks fall into place.

Keep looking out for yourself, and good luck!

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Just read thru your thread...good job on seeing what's scaring you! Self-awareness is hard. Good luck with finding a healing path for yourself!

I'd like to add: Finding a healthy way of eating is VERY hard! I don't know your whole history, but I'll share some of my own journey. It has taken me OVER A YEAR to figure out just HOW TO EAT. To be mindful, know how food affects me, to be aware of when I want to eat and what I want to eat when, how to cook, and what I like to eat! Literally, about 14 months. I got so frustrated and thought it'd never work, that I was destined to never lose weight (fill in: your fitness goal in the blank). But I got through it by telling myself that 1) I'm trying to break 29 years of bad eating habits; and 2) our culture is not set up for healthy eating. you have to look out for yourself. It's a lifelong journey, but sometimes those knowledge blocks fall into place.

Keep looking out for yourself, and good luck!

Thank you for your advice Leimanu. I like how you break it down to make yourself understand how much of a process it is. Its not easy. And same with you, I have years of bad eating habits I'm trying to back. Sure, they may not be eating too much, or the wrong thing, but their habits nonetheless and need to be broken.

I can't wait to get my final hold on this though, and completely own every aspect of eating the right way .

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Today was carb refeed day!! I made 2 very large chocolate chip pancakes, lathered them in syrup and had a side of eggs. Also had a bagel earlier.

So far I'm at 1700ish calories and 240 grams of carbs. Planning a little snack later on to get up to an even 2000 calories and 300 carbs. First carb load day that I may actually be successful at

[70Kel]

Choc chip pancakes sound YUM:)

How many carbs are low carbs day?

[goodwince]

Lol. That sounds awesome. I was terrible at avoiding carbs this weekend. Other than the drinks, I did eat healthy. I made broccoli crunch salad last night with chicken. Homemade lemonade w/ tequila. I agree with Leimanu. I'm having trouble, but I may have to give that psychology book you're reading a try. Sounds bad ass!

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Choc chip pancakes sound YUM:)

How many carbs are low carbs day?

Low carb days I aim for under 100 but I don't beat myself up if i'm in the 120's.

Lol. That sounds awesome. I was terrible at avoiding carbs this weekend. Other than the drinks, I did eat healthy. I made broccoli crunch salad last night with chicken. Homemade lemonade w/ tequila. I agree with Leimanu. I'm having trouble, but I may have to give that psychology book you're reading a try. Sounds bad ass!

Haha, mmm that all sounds so good, broccoli crunch salad? Do tell

I could use a couple drinks, haha.

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Just a minor update

lifts-

hit 165lbs on the squat, almost there

hit 200 x2 with good form on the dl, getting there

still at 115 for the PC's, want to kill people when it comes to this.

food-

doing decent with my low/high carb cycle. not really trying too hard anymore towards this, now its just see how long i can fast before i cave and eat everything infront of me. havent hit protein in a while. need to revamp my life when it comes to food. making healthy choices though.

budget-

going well. haven't used the debit card for anything but gas, and made 70$ tips this last weekend so i've been spending it here and there on little things . husband says contact lenses and oil changes are necessities that can go on the card. he also wants me to get a message but i can't do that .

scrapbook-

printed pictures via CVS and went out to look at some books yesterday. i have no idea where to start and its looking to be an expensive little project.. uh ohhhhh

notes-

i need to chill out. my husbands going thru this rut of not caring, he hasn't really worked out in weeks, doesnt care about what he eats, doesnt sleep anymore, and drinks alot more than he used to. so needless to say its carrying over onto my mindset and making me wonder why i really care. he hates to see me like this so he's going to start trying again, but i think it may just be time for a change. thinking of picking up boxing lessons finally and not focusing so much on weightlifting in the future. we'll see though.

[70Kel]

Just a minor update

lifts-

hit 165lbs on the squat, almost there

hit 200 x2 with good form on the dl, getting there

still at 115 for the PC's, want to kill people when it comes to this.

food-

doing decent with my low/high carb cycle. not really trying too hard anymore towards this, now its just see how long i can fast before i cave and eat everything infront of me. havent hit protein in a while. need to revamp my life when it comes to food. making healthy choices though.

budget-

going well. haven't used the debit card for anything but gas, and made 70$ tips this last weekend so i've been spending it here and there on little things . husband says contact lenses and oil changes are necessities that can go on the card. he also wants me to get a message but i can't do that .

scrapbook-

printed pictures via CVS and went out to look at some books yesterday. i have no idea where to start and its looking to be an expensive little project.. uh ohhhhh

notes-

i need to chill out. my husbands going thru this rut of not caring, he hasn't really worked out in weeks, doesnt care about what he eats, doesnt sleep anymore, and drinks alot more than he used to. so needless to say its carrying over onto my mindset and making me wonder why i really care. he hates to see me like this so he's going to start trying again, but i think it may just be time for a change. thinking of picking up boxing lessons finally and not focusing so much on weightlifting in the future. we'll see though.

Sounds like you are finding your way eating wise & your sticking to your budget which is really good (a lot of people have difficulty doing this, so give yourself a Woot! ).

Boxing sounds interesting, I found when I did boxing with my trainer that I really felt like I had a great workout. Hope you sort the hubby issues out :]

& scrap booking is good $ spent in my opinion!

[goodwince]

Boxing is awesome. I wish I could get a gym closer to me or take the time. I just don't want to make it a priority right now. Plus I'm still enjoying my weightlifting as my only thing. Definitely give it a shot.. and hah! I have a free massage and still won't go lmao.

Congrats on everything. Have fun with the scrapbooking since you've already accomplished so much!!

Hubby has a lot on his mind and is busy. I'm sure his rut will pass, just like yours. I'd be surprised to ever see you give up working out lmao. You like it and the way it feels too much. :]

Good to hear about low carb/high carb becoming easier!

[goodwince]

Poke

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Haha thanks guys

Goodwince you're right on the money. For the last week+ I've been seriously thinking about quitting working out. To the point of not going to the gym for almost 2 weeks now. I ran a couple times but that's just running. I spur-of-the-moment went to the gym this morning and it was one of the best workouts. I left remembering why i loved it so much and how great of a mood working out put me in. Nahhht gunna lie not going to the gym (and i thought i was in a rut before) provoked me to just let my whole life (basically) go and I fell into a huge hole that starting today I am beginning to get out of. I've been a mess lately. My carb-phobia mixed with IF (and this isn't easy to admit so bare with me) turned into not eating all day except for dinner. That was the last couple weeks. I tried reaching out to a therapist but they don't email back and like to push your problems onto other people when they do. So that was a failure. Don't really have many friends (none) at home and the hubby being away doesn't help. SO. I forgot that working out was my pseudo-escape and that I loved it. I think I just got mad at myself.

Also damn NF wasn't emailing me my updates so I thought the people I was following stopping their workouts too! Not true. Sorry about not being there.

So just made an omelet (huge deal for me) and am heading off to work soon.

Spent the weekend with my unit, and got my counseling for E4-E5! Non-army folk that's Sergeant! They just promoted me to specialist and now are looking at me for sergeant, I'm super exited. I got exceeds standards in all categories and the man from my unit I respect the most (and look up to the most) said all sorts of wonderful things about me and my progress and where he sees me going in life. I'm taking it all to heart. I love those guys and regardless of my move to washington state coming up I'm going to stick with them because they have made me who i am today. (today today, not yesterday bad-me today).

So lets review challenge-wise and check out what I need to do..

lifts- squat- still 165.. but feeling strong regardless of not eating and not working out for 2 weeks, haha. other than that I'm not sure where I am.

budget- definitely staying on track. only using tip money to spend freely and am not using the check money for anything other than necessities (minus the trip to NH last weekend, which probably was a necessity, haah).

food- terrible. but fixing. i think i'm going to switch to not track EVERYTHING as you've all suggested. and also switch to as clean and real as I can get. I have extra money, i might as well use it to buy halfway decent food to feel good about eating (not the whole box of count-chocula i've eaten)

scrapbook- bought the stuff! that's it though. haha.

so in need of improvement. but baby steps and PATIENCE. right, goodwince?

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

PS- Just me rocking some PAN shots in Boston for some training with the state bomb squad and police.

[goodwince]

A successful man was once asked what he did to accomplish so much. I can't remember who I was reading about, but he had three companies started and a family. He was asked how he did it. The answer was workout everyday. So doesn't matter if it's weights. At least do something to warm up the body physically! Your attitude piece made me think of that.

Your not eating all day I will say isn't uncommon in my perspective, I responded about it in my thread. We are equals!

Congratulations on the good marks!

Definitely patience. Slowly moving forward is way better than moving backwards. And even if you stopped lifting. You learned from it and that can help transition into whatever physical activity you choose!

[llsoszynski@gmail.com]

Going to check out your thread!

Jeeze.. I need to read more. I finished the Science of Willpower which was awesome. I need more motivational books like the story you just gave me . They really do help.

I love how positive you always are! Do you ever have a bad day where you're just in a terrible mood? Doesn't seem like it!