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Where's the f'n discipline? Here!


Brometheus

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Life interrupts. Then I keep moving. Heard back about a job interview I had this last week, managed to not get the job. I actually took this as good news, the office is going to send me a critique to help me move forward. But at the same time? I'm still kind of pissed.

It just means I get to roll with the punches. I'm wishing I could go workout and squat or do something. But I can't. Stupid fucking deload week before a meet. You can bet that I'm going to go destroy the gym on sunday.

Right now I'm getting psyched and I want 400 for my max squat. I want to fucking destroy that weight. It's insignificant compared to the fury that is contained within me now. RAWR!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TADyXC2K0g

So proud of you!

So.Very.Proud.

Thank you. *blushes*

you can do et!

HELLS YES!

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I competed in my powerlifting competition this last weekend, which I really enjoyed. Though it was a lot more tiring than I imagined. I was ready to curl up and take a nap after the bench press...

Overall total: 375kg or 826.72 at a bodyweight of 320, which put me in the super heavyweight class.

Individual breakdowns:

Squat:

#1: 142.5k [313.5lbs]

#2: 155k [341.7lbs] -> No Lift

#3: 155k [341.71lbs]

Bench:

#1: 62.5k [137.5lbs]

#2: 70k [154.32lbs]

#3: 77.5k [170.5lbs] -> No Lift

Deadlift:

#1: 137.5k [302.5lbs]

#2: 150k [330.69] -> No Lift

#3: 150 k [330.69lbs]

Note: for all of you that say "black is slimming", I give you the singlet. I know I need to lose fat mass. But this? Um...yeah. Damn. I look like a giant marshmallow in a black and gray suit. Good thing I start the whole30 today. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgVbXfZ_YQI&feature=youtu.be

Crossfit WoD: 50 burpees for time. Completed in 7:37.

In other words, fuck my life. This was announce right after the deadlift. Honestly, I'm impressed I made it through this, I was absolutely beat after the deadlift.

It was a slightly scaled wod, the original one was 1/2 of "g.i. jane", which consisted of 50 burpee pullups. OUCH. And I thought my wod was bad... *rolls eyes*

For comparison purposes, last year in September of 2011 I could do a total of 510# [135# squat / 110# bench press / 265# deadlift], right before I started crossfit. That wasn't at an official competition (at a gym doing starting strength), but it's interesting to see. I also had shirt and pant sizes that were two sizes larger than I have now, even though I weighed 330 back then. Remember kids: it's not all about the scale. It's about how fucking STRONG you are!

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yeah buddy!

does your singlet say metric because you like the band?!? :)

"Come with me if you want to lift" -The Brominator

"Later, I would learn that coincidences are the most planned things in the world. Later, I would learn that every single moment is a coincidence." - Douglas Coupland

"Anyone who doesn't want french fries every day is a commie." - AngelaTheGeek

Current Challenge

INSTAGRAM!!

find me on twitter

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Back at it man, smashed out a PL comp THEN 50 burpees?!?!?! Don't stop.

Heh. Thanks! I was sooooo tired at that point, I'm impressed I got 50. But I was told it was a "no dnf'ing allowed" wod. Really, the first 35 are the toughest. Then it's downhill and bam. You're done. :)

/glomps CB :)

Yay violent hugs! :D

yeah buddy!

does your singlet say metric because you like the band?!? :)

Thanks! I love metric, but no. METAL ALL THE WAY! Note: mine is missing the "sport and wear" tagline on the singlet shown. It's just METAL. Which is badass!

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So...still feeling like I got hit by a truck after the meet yesterday. Spent the entire day napping and drinking bone broth. Which I made for the first time. I wish I had been smart enough to make it a long time ago. Super easy and very delicious. In fact, I think I'm going to have to make a batch every 10 days or so, judging by how much I like it. :)

In other news, I got notified today that I'm going to be looking for a new place to stay. My landlord is taking over the house, and gave me his 30 day notice today. It's well within his rights, but was very unexpected. I've been looking at options, but right now there aren't a lot of good ones, except to move back into my parents place for a couple months while I find a new place. It's hard, but I'm realizing it's probably the best decision. I'm not in a place financially where living by myself is a good option, and finding roommates I can tolerate is hard. No, I'm not taking craigslist submissions for the roommate process. :P

But you know what? I'll survive. All I need is a roof over my head and somewhere to prep meals. I'm actually more concerned about getting my lifting sessions in after I move than about anything else (since I'll be 50 minutes from my gym). But in the meantime, I'm going to have to start packing. I'm looking at getting everything moved over the 2nd, 4th, and the 10th of November. I will be suspending some of my goals to get this done [mainly the "study excel stuff"], but nothing else.

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Okay. So far I've gotten through day's 1 and 2 of the Whole30. I've also started packing. 2 boxes started and a evernote list of what should be going where [house/storage/dump/goodwill].

Starting weight: 320.

Starting waist measurement: 54 1/2"

Goals/questions for the time I'm doing the Whole30:

1) What does dairy do to me?

2) What does sugar do to me?

3) How much are my achy hands / feet / knees from these bad dietary choices?

4) What changes happened with my skin [semi-permanent zit on eyebrow, rash on neck]?

5) What changes happened with my hair?

6) How many inches can I lose from my waist with a clean diet?

Also, here's my journal during days 1 and 2. Yes, some of this you've heard. But it's important to document this. :)

Day 1 (October 15th): Sick and tired. Picked up a cold over the weekend and still dealing with the after-effects. Not to mention I competed in a powerlifting competition yesterday and every single muscle seems to be on fire. Spent the day in bed, drinking bone broth [first time I ever made it, the stuff is awesome], and watching movies.

Sleep: Miserable. I'm leaking from my sinuses.

Exercise: None.

Cravings: A double bacon cheeseburger. With extra bacon and cheese, and a side of deep fried pickle chips. Which is my "normal" comfort food.

Day 2 (October 16th): Slightly less sick than yesterday. I have some sort of headache that comes and goes. Not hungry at all, then I'm ravenous, then I'm not hungry again. Of course this all happens when I'm in the midst of projects at work and can't eat for another hour. Still feeling better half-sick on the whole30 than with my "normal" diet.

I also realized I am both moving *and* attending a wedding while on this. Damn. This is going to take a lot more planning and prep than I thought. I'm grateful that the whole30 daily notes are making me realize this is both harder and yet easier than I think. I just know that I need to take it one day at a time. To take the time to methodically think about what I am eating, instead of just assuming I can "get away with it". No. I can't. If my body is any example, I cannot get away with anything.

Sleep: Comes and goes. More napping than sleeping in my estimation.

Exercise: None. Besides the normal stuff that I do at work (odd lifting of 30-50 pound objects in random patterns for 4-6 hours).

Cravings: Teriyaki. I would KILL for teriyaki.Which makes me realize how messed up my diet really is.

I do have starting photos, but am only posting the link, as I am not wearing a shirt in several photos and don't need to burn anyone's eyeball's without fair warning. :P

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30666452@N05/sets/72157631789016854/

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yuck. sorry to hear you're sick. hopefully you'll shake that soon.

"Come with me if you want to lift" -The Brominator

"Later, I would learn that coincidences are the most planned things in the world. Later, I would learn that every single moment is a coincidence." - Douglas Coupland

"Anyone who doesn't want french fries every day is a commie." - AngelaTheGeek

Current Challenge

INSTAGRAM!!

find me on twitter

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Get better Bear. You can do this. The craving things was the hardest part for me initially.

This morning I was thinking how badly I wanted a peanut butter sandwich...then immediately thought,"I'll have to grind my own because I don't want all that crazy nasty crap that's in regular PB." Then I felt a pang of guilt for giving my Lil P a sandwich with said PB for a snack last night...

Planning is key! You got it!!!!

If you need any food type suggestions- I'm here!

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Get better Bear. You can do this. The craving things was the hardest part for me initially.

This morning I was thinking how badly I wanted a peanut butter sandwich...then immediately thought,"I'll have to grind my own because I don't want all that crazy nasty crap that's in regular PB." Then I felt a pang of guilt for giving my Lil P a sandwich with said PB for a snack last night...

Planning is key! You got it!!!!

If you need any food type suggestions- I'm here!

Oh yes. I can do it. One of my coaches told me to "at least get through the first 14 days." I told him "fuck that, I want all 30". It's not going to kill me... Oh, and have you seen sun butter? It's got nearly the same taste without the bad peanuts. :)

yuck. sorry to hear you're sick. hopefully you'll shake that soon.

Feeling a bit better. Though I'm tempted to say that all my sickness has moved into my sinuses. Hopefully that'll go away soon...

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Day 3 (October 17th): Where I find myself amused after reading my journal entry

Woke up, felt okay, then got the most ridiculously bad headache I've had in my 31 years being alive. It felt like my sinuses and head was being ripped apart by hot irons. Then it went away. Thank God. Then I felt like "KILLING ALL THE THINGS" would be perfect. Be scared of me, life. I'm going to fuck you up!

Sleep: So-so. Still felt like mini-naps than a full, deep, restful sleep. It seemed like all of my dreaming involved me, in the kitchen, making french fries or onion rings.

Exercise: Upper body madness at the crossfit box.

Find 1rep max in bench (165). Do 10 reps at 70% of that weight.

Find 1rep max in bench (155). Do 20 reps at 50% of that weight.

Find 1rep max in bench (135). Do 30 reps at 35% of that weight.

Metcon

4 ring rows

5 dumbell rows @ 25# each hand.

10 rounds for time. Completed in 5 minutes.

Cravings: None, really. Till I started logging my sleep and realized that onion rings or french fries sounded good. Oh, and then walked through the store and craved chocolate. Stupid chocolate.

Whole30 Daily: It made me consider what I'm giving up. Yeah, I'm grieving over donuts, hamburgers and pickle chips. It's not so bad though. There's a LOT of good food out there. And a lot of stuff that in my estimation, is better than anything I used to eat. Lettuce wraps with homemade chicken salad are the bomb!

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I love sun butter. Mmm

My Blog | My Story

Race: Wood Elf | Class: Footpath Ranger Leader

Level18 (STR):44.25 (DEX):37.25 (STA):30 (CON):31.25 (WIS):31.5 (CHA):25.25

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke

"Love does not throw the book at you because love doesn't have a book to throw." -CS Lewis

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Day 4 (October 18th):

I seem to have hit sick v2.0: the relapse. Or the part of the Whole30 where there is no energy. Not going to lie, it sucks. Going to try to sleep and just survive. Glad to have today off from work...I was feeling down in the dumps this evening, then @primalmeded on twitter sent me this article from whole9 entitled "keep calm and Whole30 on" , and I found this. It seems to fit perfectly... "When you’re tired, headache-y, cranky, and thinking it’s gonna be a long month…" Yup. This. Because it's ridiculously difficult with these moments.

Sleep: Still really messed up. I seem to be fueled by caffeine, and then suffering from late afternoon / evening naps. I need to establish a better schedule, but I'm also sure the cold I've finally gotten over had something to do with this. I'll see how it goes over the next couple days and make changes as needed.

Exercise: Rest day. I'm supposed to workout tomorrow, but I'm skipping that in favor of moar sleep.

Cravings: Bibimbap and scotch. Or tequila. Or some sort of liquid fire. Oh wait. I'll get something I can light on fire and then drink it! :P

Whole30 Daily: I'm reminded to "change your tastes, change your habits, and change your emotional and habitual response to craving." Um...sure. That's a lot to take on, y'know? I'm giving it a good shot though!

I've had a couple days to realize what my former eating habits have done to me. What I've been doing for years is the purposeful of eating certain "comfort foods" in order to emotionally sustain my crap. Not going to happen anymore. I can't get away with eating that way. I need to eat to fuel my body, not to destroy it!

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You can do it!

I think one of the things when doing Whole 30 is being realistic about how hard it is.

I'm on day 17 and I still get unfuckingreal cravings for stuff, but then I think about all the junk that's in what I *want* then suddenly it's just not worth it anymore.

I will confess, I've had to plow through a few "fuckit" cravings, but that's when I text Hammi and tell her what I want & she says NO! Believe it or not, THAT really helps.

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Day 5 (October 19th):

Doing okay. Glad today is better than yesterday. Still...wishing I could get over this "sad flu" I have. I know it's only a couple more days, but those days suck! Oh, but in the meantime, little is better than a sweet potato (roasted in lard / sea salt) and smothered in ghee.

Sleep: Good. I slept about 9 hours. Still getting used to my new c-pap hardware [for sleep anea, one of the things I hope to lose over the next year], but I think I have most of the kinks worked out. Don't remember dreaming anything really, just a good, deep, sleep.

Exercise: Mandated rest day due to being super-worn out over the last couple days.

Cravings: General tso's chicken. Just because there's a hit of sugar in it that I would kill for.

Whole30 Daily: "Remember that you’re in control of you, and that you’re taking steps to make yourself healthier and happier for life – which definitely trumps the momentary satisfaction you might find in that danish."

Day 6 (October 20th):

I did it! I made it through today! Note to self: pack MOAR FOOD for lunch. My appetite is...dangerous. Dinner ended up being close to a pound of meat and stir fried veggies. Very good, but much-overdue. Also: breakfast is mandatory on my whole30. Skipping it is NOT permitted.

Sleep: Good.

Exercise: Rest day.

Cravings: A cupcake.Or 6 of them...

Whole30 Daily: "Your energy levels are (no surprise here) largely dictated by your food choices." It may be no surprise, but it's surprising how long I've pushed back against the thought of change. Or even paid attention to this.

Day 7 (October 21st):

Sleep: Good. Got about 8 hours of sleep. Went to bed way to late, then slept in. I need to fix this to "go to bed earlier". I did sleep good, but I know I can see more improvement if I get to bed before midnight, instead of after.

Exercise: Rest day.

Cravings: Weird ones. Sort of wanted a cupcake at work, but I gave that idea up. Later, I started craving veggies with intense spices. Ended up getting a thai stirfry with a ton of different veggies, meat, chili paste, and coconut milk for dinner. So good. Though I think I might need to see a mental health professional for my craving of veggies...because something is obviously broken! :P

Whole30 Daily: "Now is a good time to learn to reward yourself with something other than food." That being said, I don't know of a time where I haven't considered food a reward. I'm trying to decide how to reward myself from here-on out in a way that promotes a good, healthy psychological result.

In some ways though, I see the clicking of the "I did it" button in the Whole30 daily email to be a re-wiring of my reward circuit. Seeing the amusing videos or awesome pictures also keeps me motivated going forward. It's definitely showing me that I can live life without a food reward for everything.

I got this on day 1:

At first I was like "what the fuck is this?!" then sat back and waited to actually see the inspirational speech...

And my success at making it through day 7 was being rewarded with this, which just makes me laugh! :D

day7.jpg

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