Kelly’s “Take Me Back To The Start� Challenge

[Strawberry Squatcake]

I am supposed to eat around 165g of protein a day. It is a serious amount. Only way I get there is to drink a whey shake post workout and then eat meat at both lunch and supper. Still a challenge.

I will be watching your next challenge to see how you do on this one. At least you enjoy food, so it should be fun.

Been thinking hard about options for you to change up your routine a little. I know I go on about them a lot, but have you ever tried doing a kettlebell workout? Even if you just do a swing workout, by working up to doing 2-minute sets of swings, you end up on the cusp of aerobic vs. anaerobic exercise and this has huge benefits for fat-burning. Plus, swinging around a heavy weight really fast is fun. If this interests you, I suggest you get a copy of Tracy Riefkind's book - Swing. She sets out some really nice progressions and explains the entire thing in a really simple manner.

You can easily add the kettlebell workout into your normal lifting routine as assistance work or you can actually just do kettlebell work for your entire body - but then you would miss out on the joy of squats and deadlifts ...

KBs are all the rage right now, huh? I'd like to get in the game, but unfortunately, the money's not there right now. Just bought a smoker (hopefully to help with getting more of a feeling of variety with meat and keep protein intake up). And have to paint my house next year (per the devil homeowner's association that I've apparently sold my soul to), and I REALLY want to go to Germany. So I'm trying ot be tight with my funds. my bro in law is trying ot buy a set of KBs. So maybe if he does I can do a workout or two with him! He's about an hour away, but I need to go see my nephews more anyway.

Hahahaha yes, it's totally okay to talk about your pretend children even if you don't want to have children or think you will. I would be crazy parent. My kids would be in a bubble and I would have a heart attack before they reached 10. I am sure of it.

You know, WQ mentioned the kettle bells (I think WQ) in my thread regarding my new workout plan.. and I forgot to comment on them. But Boyf freakin loves his KBs, too. He's been doing this program called Viking Conditioning. Basically: a crapton of KB snatches. His lats are ridonk now. (how bro was that?) I'm intrigued by it.

I wonder what program my bro in law was doing. something at the gym. But he wants to get a set for home.

I did mention KBs as a hip thing one could do, yeah. I haven't done swings with a heavy weight for a while -- been doing snatches instead.

When I was tracking calories I remember finding it not all that difficult to hit 130g of protein even without a protein shake, though the shake makes it easier -- I think I was averaging somewhere between 120-150g every day. One cup fat-free cottage cheese/Greek Yogurt: ~30g. 4oz chicken breast: ~30g. Hardboiled egg: ~6g protein. 1oz of cheddar/mozzarella/other snacky cheese: ~6g. Eat a cup of cottage cheese or Greek yogurt (with nuts for fat and a little extra protein) two or three 4oz servings of meat between your lunch and dinner, a hardboiled egg or some cheese for a snack, and you're already most of the way there; if you're still low due to not having protein filled snacks or only eating one serving of chicken, a scoop of protein powder in milk will give you 25-30g.

Look at it this way -- if you're averaging ~80g now and want to get to 130g, all you have to do is eat what you normally do and just add 2 hardboiled eggs or half a cup of cottage cheese, plus a protein shake and you're

there. So no problem, right?

I agree, 150 doesn't sound too bad, just have to focus on getting it in. I'd prefer to avoid protein powder if I can. If getting to 130 is easy enough, might throw in a scoop of protein powder and get closer to 160. I just don't want to be over-eating. I want to be able to keep lifting and slowly burn off some fat (or replace fat with muscle - not so much worried about the scale as much as stopping the fat gain). Anyway, I agree. I bet I'm near 80 on most days without trying too hard, which is better than I was a year ago. So now I need to focus on keeping it over 100. And keep getting the veggies in. It's more a matter of getting organized (like the whole meal planning thing) than anything.

i couldn't sleep last night either. it was awful.

Ugh. And I have a super-busy weekend. I wish I could just go home and go to bed!

Re: Summerrunner: Haha.. well I live in SD and that's the only place I've managed to run consistently so summers are a bit different. Sure the temperature is the same as the east, but I tried running in August in Alabama with a hangover.. That was a tough day. The cold fills my lungs too much. I don't like that feeling. I'll take dizziness and having to drink copious amounts of water before my run any day..

I think the only way they could have the best of both worlds is if the kids weren't allowed to grab at your flags. The problem is mixing people trying to safeguard their children with people trying to safeguard their flags from an imaginary zombie apocalypse! You should do a photoshopped picture of a little zombie kid, and a runner with a flag that says "Don't tread on me, bro"

I eat 170+ grams, but I also eat copious amounts of meat.. I didn't eat this way until I was trying to get natural protein in. So I'm eating about two pounds of meat a day. Protein shake is definitely the lifeblood. Just do one and see if you notice a difference!

If I can get to 130 with real food (which doesn't sound too terribly hard), then I can add in a scoop of protein powder at the end of teh day to get to 160. A scoop is 30g protein, 140 calories (I think).

Are we witnessing the return of Bro-ra? ::GASP::

Haha! Bro-ra, we missed you! OK, I like DL Laura better. Can I call you DLaura?

[Hermione Gainser]

Are we witnessing the return of Bro-ra? ::GASP::

HAHAHA sometimes I slip into the old ways...

DLaura... hmmmm yeah, that doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well... but I like deadlift Laura better, too!

WQ is right on regarding the protein. It's definitely not that hard once you get going... and it helps to eat dairy. I also just started eating larger portions of meat at each sitting. So, instead of 4oz I usually do 8. I trust you'll get it okay. Yay smoker! EAT ALL THE SMOKED MEATS!

[weirdquark]

Do you have adjustable dumbbells? You could do swings with one of those instead. That's what I use because I had adjustable dumbbells and kettlebells are expensive. The balance is a bit different but the movement is the same.

[Chanda]

Awesome job at the zombie run!!!! The photos looked great. And a zombie wedding thats awesome!

I can't imagine why they would let young children be zombies... the potential for injury is huge. While most adults wouldn't hurt a child on purpose, the potential to not see them in the middle of the chaos is huge.

2 days left in this challenge! Lets finish strong!!!!

[Strawberry Squatcake]

Week 6 progress

Diet and Fitness Goals:

1. Lift two times per week (squat/bench/DL/bent rows one day, squat/OHP/DL/inverted rows the 2nd), cardio (of whatever variety I choose, just get moving to improve endurance) three times per week. 30 points possible, up to 5 per week. (2 STR, 2 STA) 19/30 - Giving myself a D on this. Mostly because there were days I should have worked out but didn't just because I didn't feel like it. I don't know where my motivation to workout has gone, but I can't seem to get it back. Blah.

2. Plan and prep meals – Plan the following week’s meals and grocery list by Thursday of the current week. Grocery shop over the weekend. And make the bulk of the week’s food on Sundays. (12 possible points. One for planning by Thursday. One for prepping by Sunday night.) (2 WIS, 2 CHA, 1 CON) 11/12. I'm pretty happy with how I did with this. There were a few things I bought that weren't on sale, but mostly I preppe meals, brought my lunch, and ate what I planned. I still went out to lunch and dinner a few times. But it was good having in the back of my mind I needed to look at the ads, shop and prep. I'll give myself a B for this one just because of the extra unnecessary meals out.

3. Zombie Run – Complete in less than 1 hour. I did the Warrior Dash in 1 hour 8 minutes (no judging). The course isn’t exactly the same, but from what I’ve heard aside from the zombies, it’s very similar. 5K through a field with obstacles (and zombies). Training for this will partially be the cardio in #1, but hopefully a goal finish time will ensure I run more. All or nothing. Sub 1 hour gets points. (Side note, if I ran a 5K on a flat, paved surface, I think I’d finish in about 40 minutes. And this will be a hilly course that’s not paved, with likely lines at obstacles.) (2 DEX, 2 STA) 55 minutes. A.

Life Goal:

Yard – I have two landscaping areas in my backyard I need to take care of before winter. I also want to fertilize my yard two more times before it freezes. The fertilizing is easy as long as I do it. Cleaning up the landscaping area is the time-consuming/grueling work. I know – I did the front yard this weekend. So 25% for fertilizing, and 75% for the landscaping. (2 CHA) Finished all of this. A.

Overall, I'll give myself a C for this challenge. A little frustrated that with eating fairly well, I didn't drop any weight (and as of this morning I'm up more than the start of the challenge ). Gotta think long and hard about my goals for next challenge, and get back on track. I've been waffling for too long!

[Caution]

Hey, 2 A's and a B is great stuff! Good job on this challenge, Kelly.

[Max Power]

I agree with Caution, good job on this challenge. They definitely get hard sometimes, but you stuck with it, and that is what matters. Keep it up lady!!!

[goodwince]

Why a B on food prep? I believe that you accomplished your goal, but didn't plan enough for the other excursions. It happens! You just have to figure out how you want to handle it. I consider this an A.

On your workouts, just go anyways. Say you'll stay for 10 minutes!! And if you feel like leaving after 10 then do it. :] Or come up with some quick at home workouts!

Great job though! Feel like channeling my inner Tony, the Tiger.

[Hermione Gainser]

I agree with Goodwince, sounds more like A material. And solid learning experience. You did really well this challenge!!! Congrats!!

[weirdquark]

Great job overall!

Re motivation: Time for an exciting new workout plan?

[Blueberries]

Agreed with the others. I think you did really well, Kelly!

About dreading your workouts, are there certain parts that are making you not want to go? Is it lifting? Cardio? What's the source of your Idontwanna issue?

[Strawberry Squatcake]

Hey, 2 A's and a B is great stuff! Good job on this challenge, Kelly.

Thanks! Yes, it could have been a lot worse. You're right!

I agree with Caution, good job on this challenge. They definitely get hard sometimes, but you stuck with it, and that is what matters. Keep it up lady!!!

Thanks, MP!

Why a B on food prep? I believe that you accomplished your goal, but didn't plan enough for the other excursions. It happens! You just have to figure out how you want to handle it. I consider this an A.

On your workouts, just go anyways. Say you'll stay for 10 minutes!! And if you feel like leaving after 10 then do it. :] Or come up with some quick at home workouts!

Great job though! Feel like channeling my inner Tony, the Tiger.

I think you're right. And I like the 10 minute thing. I've told myself that before, and have actually quit after 10 minutes. But 10 minutes is better than nothing, I guess!

Oh and on the food..... I made a big thing of hamburger veggie soup, and tossed more than half of it after a week (I keep food for no longer than a week). So that sucked. Waste of money, and meals out I shoudln't have had. I should have planned better (made a smaller pot), realized my schedule better, or whatever.

I agree with Goodwince, sounds more like A material. And solid learning experience. You did really well this challenge!!! Congrats!!

Thanks! I don't feel like it was A work. But Bs are good, too! Or that's what my non-perfectionist friends tell me.

Great job overall!

Re motivation: Time for an exciting new workout plan?

I've looked around for plans. I don't really feel like I'm ready to move onto anything fancy. And I don't want a really complex workout. I feel like the simplicity of SS was what appealed to me. So I could go back to taht. I also have the Rebel Strength Guide and I think there were three or four six week workouts in there. And I think I've only done two. So that's an idea for something simple that's pre-written and doesn't want me to learn a bunch of new lifts or add any more equipment. Thought about doing jdanger's squat program with just simple 5rep for bench, OHP and DL to fill out the days, too. Since squat's my favorite, and I read somewhere if you ONLY did squat, that's still a great workout plan. Ugh. I dunno. But here's the problem: I need to pick something that's realistic, and stick to it for six weeks. So gotta make some moves now to decide!

Agreed with the others. I think you did really well, Kelly!

About dreading your workouts, are there certain parts that are making you not want to go? Is it lifting? Cardio? What's the source of your Idontwanna issue?

Mostly it's that I hate my job. I had a really busy weekend or I probably would have worked out twice. But I worked out Saturday. Other than that, I only got one short workout in this week. On days work sucks it out of me, I get home and am so exhausted. Joining a gym doesn't help because right after work is when they're busiest, so I'd never go then anyway. I thought about AM workouts, but I'm already getting up at 5:45 to get out the door to beat rush hour traffic. After work is the best time, I just can't get myself to do it. I also felt like this last challenge was super-busy for some reason. I was always behind on everything. Laundry, keeping up with my kitchen, working on my Halloween costume, attending all kinds of "parties" for people. I need to simplify my life and start saying no to stuff I really don't want to do. That would help. And I also did a lot of last minute dinner invites, which always end up being bad food choices. And those dinner invites end up going all night, and that puts me more behind on house stuff. I've been struggling to keep up with everything around the house. And I feel like my family's expecting a ton of me. And I have all of this work stuff that's stressing me out. And when I don't sleep well, I'm even less motivated to do anything.

Ugh.

Anyway, they're all excuses, but I feel overwhelmed now thinking of all of it. And with the holidays around the corner, it won't be getting any better. I don't know how people who actually have lives do it!

[Blueberries]

Mostly it's that I hate my job. I had a really busy weekend or I probably would have worked out twice. But I worked out Saturday. Other than that, I only got one short workout in this week. On days work sucks it out of me, I get home and am so exhausted. Joining a gym doesn't help because right after work is when they're busiest, so I'd never go then anyway. I thought about AM workouts, but I'm already getting up at 5:45 to get out the door to beat rush hour traffic. After work is the best time, I just can't get myself to do it. I also felt like this last challenge was super-busy for some reason. I was always behind on everything. Laundry, keeping up with my kitchen, working on my Halloween costume, attending all kinds of "parties" for people. I need to simplify my life and start saying no to stuff I really don't want to do. That would help. And I also did a lot of last minute dinner invites, which always end up being bad food choices. And those dinner invites end up going all night, and that puts me more behind on house stuff. I've been struggling to keep up with everything around the house. And I feel like my family's expecting a ton of me. And I have all of this work stuff that's stressing me out. And when I don't sleep well, I'm even less motivated to do anything.

Ugh.

Anyway, they're all excuses, but I feel overwhelmed now thinking of all of it. And with the holidays around the corner, it won't be getting any better. I don't know how people who actually have lives do it!

You know, I always joke about how we're "stuck in the house after 6:45 every night" because of the kids, but really it's turned out to be a pretty good thing. I end up saying no to a lot of things I'd otherwise feel like I needed to do/go to, and I think that I'm probably better off because of it. Not everybody would be, but for me it's been good.

Maybe work on saying no to people more often? I know it's tough since you've got such a big family all around you, but from an outsider's perspective, it seems like the last couple of challenges have been hard on you because you've been giving so much of yourself to everybody else. I could be totally off-base, so if I am, please ignore me, but it's just something that I've been noticing.

[msuroo]

You know, I always joke about how we're "stuck in the house after 6:45 every night" because of the kids, but really it's turned out to be a pretty good thing. I end up saying no to a lot of things I'd otherwise feel like I needed to do/go to, and I think that I'm probably better off because of it.

Lol, I was going to say exactly this.

[Hermione Gainser]

I'm really liking the stuff I've been reading on Bas' Barbell... also, in the programming book. Lots of fun, simple stuff.

[Strawberry Squatcake]

You know, I always joke about how we're "stuck in the house after 6:45 every night" because of the kids, but really it's turned out to be a pretty good thing. I end up saying no to a lot of things I'd otherwise feel like I needed to do/go to, and I think that I'm probably better off because of it. Not everybody would be, but for me it's been good.

Maybe work on saying no to people more often? I know it's tough since you've got such a big family all around you, but from an outsider's perspective, it seems like the last couple of challenges have been hard on you because you've been giving so much of yourself to everybody else. I could be totally off-base, so if I am, please ignore me, but it's just something that I've been noticing.

No, you're absolutely right. And I need to be better at it. I think people (my family - mostly my mom??) think because I'm single that I have all of this time and should give it to my sisters. And seriously, they chose to have their kids. I don't feel like becuase I have chosen (and it is a choice) not to get married or have kids, that I should have to pick up the slack for everyone else. I have to do ALL of my own housework and yardwork. I have no one to help me keep up with my bills or maintenance or anything else that comes around regularly. If there's a big repair, my parents do help with that, but no one's around reminding me to pay the trash bill, or take the trash out. Or help with the dishes. Or run to the store. Anythign that comes up, I have to do it. Sick or tired or otherwise.

This weekend my mom volunteered me to watch my sisters' kids so she and her husband could go to church together. Not somethign my sister asked (or would ever ask). And I'm sorry, but I am not going to commit to babysitting long-term, every single weekend. I used to babysit (from 9 years old (yikes! can you imagine leaving your kids with a 9 year old??) until I turned 16), and when I gave it up, I swore I'd never go back to it. It's a huge responsibility, and I think I used up all of my maternal-ness in those ages. I love my nieces and nephews, but if I go over there, even if it's just whle they go to church, then I'm over there after church for awhile, and suddenly my night's gone. But the problem is, it makes me feel like I'm selfish. My mom also volunteered me to make food for my niece's baptism. Again, it's stuff I CAN do and I don't mind. But sometimes she comes to me like, "Since you don't ahve anything else going on" and it's infuriating. My parents have NEVER made me feel like I need to get married or have kids, but I feel like when she does this stuff, she does it because she thinks since I'm not married and don't have kids, I should help someone who's done "the right thing" with their life.

Hey, I'd get married if I found the right guy! (And the kids are negotiable on the "right guy" also being the right kind of dad to father my kids.) I can't help it if guys I find suitable aren't crawling out of the woodwork courting me.

Sigh. VENT OVER. Sorry about that.

But I also get the same thing from some friends. They want me to be available at a moment's notice. And some of these friends are petty enough that if I don't do something, then they'll stop inviting me. I know I shouldn't worry about those people, but it's hard when sometimes I feel recluse and lonely. And other times so overwhelmed. The good news is winter's coming. So the social stuff usually dies down when people are avoiding going outside. And I NORMALLY feel more engergized in the winter (probably more from the social break than the weather). When I've lost weight before, it's ALWAYS been in the winter. And since I'm up in weight, I have to hope that's true this winter!

Lol, I was going to say exactly this.

Yes, you nerds are smart and wise beyond your years. Maybe next challenge's life goal will be saying "no" to one thing per week? And bonus points if I say no to my family??? It's hard b/c I know my parents won't be around forever and my nieces and nephews are only this age once. So that's where I struggle.

I'm really liking the stuff I've been reading on Bas' Barbell... also, in the programming book. Lots of fun, simple stuff.

I've never heard of Bas' Barbell. Hopefully there's a way to search for this stuff on this computer box.

[Blueberries]

No, you're absolutely right. And I need to be better at it. I think people (my family - mostly my mom??) think because I'm single that I have all of this time and should give it to my sisters. And seriously, they chose to have their kids. I don't feel like becuase I have chosen (and it is a choice) not to get married or have kids, that I should have to pick up the slack for everyone else. I have to do ALL of my own housework and yardwork. I have no one to help me keep up with my bills or maintenance or anything else that comes around regularly. If there's a big repair, my parents do help with that, but no one's around reminding me to pay the trash bill, or take the trash out. Or help with the dishes. Or run to the store. Anythign that comes up, I have to do it. Sick or tired or otherwise.

This weekend my mom volunteered me to watch my sisters' kids so she and her husband could go to church together. Not somethign my sister asked (or would ever ask). And I'm sorry, but I am not going to commit to babysitting long-term, every single weekend. I used to babysit (from 9 years old (yikes! can you imagine leaving your kids with a 9 year old??) until I turned 16), and when I gave it up, I swore I'd never go back to it. It's a huge responsibility, and I think I used up all of my maternal-ness in those ages. I love my nieces and nephews, but if I go over there, even if it's just whle they go to church, then I'm over there after church for awhile, and suddenly my night's gone. But the problem is, it makes me feel like I'm selfish. My mom also volunteered me to make food for my niece's baptism. Again, it's stuff I CAN do and I don't mind. But sometimes she comes to me like, "Since you don't ahve anything else going on" and it's infuriating. My parents have NEVER made me feel like I need to get married or have kids, but I feel like when she does this stuff, she does it because she thinks since I'm not married and don't have kids, I should help someone who's done "the right thing" with their life.

Again, outsider's perspective, but the stuff I bolded above would not be okay with me. Once maybe (maaaaaaybe), but definitely not on a regular basis. Ask me if I can do something, sure, but I get to make the choices about how I spend my own time.

Hey, I'd get married if I found the right guy! (And the kids are negotiable on the "right guy" also being the right kind of dad to father my kids.) I can't help it if guys I find suitable aren't crawling out of the woodwork courting me.

Sigh. VENT OVER. Sorry about that.

But I also get the same thing from some friends. They want me to be available at a moment's notice. And some of these friends are petty enough that if I don't do something, then they'll stop inviting me. I know I shouldn't worry about those people, but it's hard when sometimes I feel recluse and lonely. And other times so overwhelmed. The good news is winter's coming. So the social stuff usually dies down when people are avoiding going outside. And I NORMALLY feel more engergized in the winter (probably more from the social break than the weather). When I've lost weight before, it's ALWAYS been in the winter. And since I'm up in weight, I have to hope that's true this winter!

Those don't sound like very good friends. But I hear you about the loneliness. It's easier for me because I've got my husband to hang out with all the time.

Yes, you nerds are smart and wise beyond your years. Maybe next challenge's life goal will be saying "no" to one thing per week? And bonus points if I say no to my family??? It's hard b/c I know my parents won't be around forever and my nieces and nephews are only this age once. So that's where I struggle.

That sounds like a really good goal, actually. Yes, they're only little once and your parents aren't going to be around forever, but you're only going to have this time in YOUR life once, too.

ETA: Yikes! Sorry, I totally don't mean to tell you what to do. Just hate seeing you struggle to find the balance of taking care of yourself. I've heard Dave Ramsey recommend the book Boundaries (linky) to people with families like yours.

[goodwince]

I feel your pain on so many fronts.. Not from myself, but my girlfriend. She finds herself feeling left out because friends can be petty sometimes. My good friends are all 30 hours away from me now so I don't have as many of these issues. They're used to me saying no though haha. Most of the time what's worse is they don't listen.

What another said, kids make things change! My girlfriend has kids and now she has to say no. However, kids are like the epitome of an easy no lol. Whatever the excuse saying no gets easier with time.

It sounds like you need to talk with your mom or just start saying no and then when she gets bothered by it explain it to her. I'd say you gotta put a foot down. I know it's hard and you can totally make it a lightly pressing of your foot, but it's eating into your life and YOU are not happy about it. It's your life. You're volunteering your time for others. If you do it a little less because you have priorities (god forbid) you're still good to your family.

It sounds like you haven't been able to make a commitment to yourself or other priorities because you are guilted into other commitments. :/ This is always a struggle, but you gotta win a little!

Also, I like SS because of the simplicity. I recommend you getting back into it. Start a commitment 3 days a week! I do Wed, Fri, Sun. I'm guess you can't take a long lunch from work and there's no nearby gyms? Didn't you say you have one at work? The advantage would be taking a break from the day since you don't care much for your job and then coming back a little fresher. A real break from work lol.

[Hermione Gainser]

No, you're absolutely right. And I need to be better at it. I think people (my family - mostly my mom??) think because I'm single that I have all of this time and should give it to my sisters. And seriously, they chose to have their kids. I don't feel like becuase I have chosen (and it is a choice) not to get married or have kids, that I should have to pick up the slack for everyone else. I have to do ALL of my own housework and yardwork. I have no one to help me keep up with my bills or maintenance or anything else that comes around regularly. If there's a big repair, my parents do help with that, but no one's around reminding me to pay the trash bill, or take the trash out. Or help with the dishes. Or run to the store. Anythign that comes up, I have to do it. Sick or tired or otherwise.

This weekend my mom volunteered me to watch my sisters' kids so she and her husband could go to church together. Not somethign my sister asked (or would ever ask). And I'm sorry, but I am not going to commit to babysitting long-term, every single weekend. I used to babysit (from 9 years old (yikes! can you imagine leaving your kids with a 9 year old??) until I turned 16), and when I gave it up, I swore I'd never go back to it. It's a huge responsibility, and I think I used up all of my maternal-ness in those ages. I love my nieces and nephews, but if I go over there, even if it's just whle they go to church, then I'm over there after church for awhile, and suddenly my night's gone. But the problem is, it makes me feel like I'm selfish. My mom also volunteered me to make food for my niece's baptism. Again, it's stuff I CAN do and I don't mind. But sometimes she comes to me like, "Since you don't ahve anything else going on" and it's infuriating. My parents have NEVER made me feel like I need to get married or have kids, but I feel like when she does this stuff, she does it because she thinks since I'm not married and don't have kids, I should help someone who's done "the right thing" with their life.

Hey, I'd get married if I found the right guy! (And the kids are negotiable on the "right guy" also being the right kind of dad to father my kids.) I can't help it if guys I find suitable aren't crawling out of the woodwork courting me.

Sigh. VENT OVER. Sorry about that.

But I also get the same thing from some friends. They want me to be available at a moment's notice. And some of these friends are petty enough that if I don't do something, then they'll stop inviting me. I know I shouldn't worry about those people, but it's hard when sometimes I feel recluse and lonely. And other times so overwhelmed. The good news is winter's coming. So the social stuff usually dies down when people are avoiding going outside. And I NORMALLY feel more engergized in the winter (probably more from the social break than the weather). When I've lost weight before, it's ALWAYS been in the winter. And since I'm up in weight, I have to hope that's true this winter!

Yes, you nerds are smart and wise beyond your years. Maybe next challenge's life goal will be saying "no" to one thing per week? And bonus points if I say no to my family??? It's hard b/c I know my parents won't be around forever and my nieces and nephews are only this age once. So that's where I struggle.

I've never heard of Bas' Barbell. Hopefully there's a way to search for this stuff on this computer box.

RE barbell: that's where our squat plan came from! hahaha I really like that guy's blog. He's so down to earth but such an immense bad ass.

re Vent: That does sound infuriating. I agree with Blueberries. Don't you dare tell me how I'm going to spend my time. Jerks.

I started, long ago, telling people no when I didn't want to do things. It was awesome and liberating. And hard. And there were still people (my sister) I had trouble saying no to.

Recently, I've been thinking about how few IRL friends I have. Thinking about the IRL friends I had but have since lost contact with, etc.. and honestly, it's kind of sad BUT really, those people aren't people I generally had fun with. They didn't bring much, if anything, to my life. My life was not better for having them in it.. and frankly, I'm not interested in maintaining relationships with people if that's the case. So, yeah.. I might get engaged and plan the smallest wedding ever but at least I'll know that the people who are there are people I genuinely want to see.

So tl;dr, don't settle for dbag friends just because ya get lonely. You deserve better.

But again, like Blueberries, I say that but it is easier for me since I have Boyf.

[Chanda]

Kelly, I think you are being way to harsh on yourself! Your exercise goal should be a C... you did more than half the workouts! And your eating one, like many others said, I would think is an A.

And whats more important... think of where you would be if you hadn't done the 6 week challenge? I am sure you are much better off having done it, than if you hadn't!

Looking forward to seeing what you do for your next challenge!

[PrincessHeather]

re Vent: That does sound infuriating. I agree with Blueberries. Don't you dare tell me how I'm going to spend my time. Jerks.

I started, long ago, telling people no when I didn't want to do things. It was awesome and liberating. And hard. And there were still people (my sister) I had trouble saying no to.

Recently, I've been thinking about how few IRL friends I have. Thinking about the IRL friends I had but have since lost contact with, etc.. and honestly, it's kind of sad BUT really, those people aren't people I generally had fun with. They didn't bring much, if anything, to my life. My life was not better for having them in it.. and frankly, I'm not interested in maintaining relationships with people if that's the case. So, yeah.. I might get engaged and plan the smallest wedding ever but at least I'll know that the people who are there are people I genuinely want to see.

So tl;dr, don't settle for dbag friends just because ya get lonely. You deserve better.

But again, like Blueberries, I say that but it is easier for me since I have Boyf.

Laura and Blueberries are super smart ladies, and I agree with them (which make me feel smart). As we've talked about before, I totally can feel your pain on the loneliness. I am married, but I haven't been able to make friends here, and with hubby going back to night shift tonight, I have many months ahead of me with no one home when I sleep, or trying to tiptoe around during the day when he's trying to rest. I'd love to be able to call up a friend and go grab a coffee or have someone who would go with me to the farmer's market, but I'm not willing to put up with BS just to have a friend. My husbands coworkers and spouses/significant others are all party type people, and I mean heavy drinking multiple nights a week. They aren't people who would ever go to see a play or go to the concerts I like, or even be intersted in just going out to lunch on the weekend. I find them extremely boring, and when compared to my amazing friends from Cali, I just can't bring myself to deal with their crap. I'm not a loner, I just prefer to have my interactions to have some sort of meaning! But, then again I was sort of forced into a situation, rather than friends gradually not inviting me or whatever, so that's a bit different too.

And for your mom and those things, speak up! You're absolutely right that your time isn't any less valuable to you because you aren't sharing it with a significant other or kids. You have plenty to do without being volunteered for things without your consent. "Enjoy your free Sundays!"

[goodwince]

PrincessHeather, you should try Meetups. Maybe find people with similar interests. I know I did for awhile, but I guess I'm a nerd and only found other people to program with

[Strawberry Squatcake]

Again, outsider's perspective, but the stuff I bolded above would not be okay with me. Once maybe (maaaaaaybe), but definitely not on a regular basis. Ask me if I can do something, sure, but I get to make the choices about how I spend my own time.

Those don't sound like very good friends. But I hear you about the loneliness. It's easier for me because I've got my husband to hang out with all the time.

That sounds like a really good goal, actually. Yes, they're only little once and your parents aren't going to be around forever, but you're only going to have this time in YOUR life once, too.

ETA: Yikes! Sorry, I totally don't mean to tell you what to do. Just hate seeing you struggle to find the balance of taking care of yourself. I've heard Dave Ramsey recommend the book Boundaries (linky) to people with families like yours.

I hate to make it sound like my family's bad. The sister in question NEVER asks me to babysit. The two times she has has been for a CPR class for newborns and some banquet for her husband. Both of which they came back very quickly. And don't take advantage of it. The other times I've offered my services. I'll pick a weekend I don't have anything going on and offer to watch the kids so they can go do something datey. I appreciate they need that time ,but I can't do it ALL THE TIME.

I think I just need to be clear that I'm busy. They might just be trying to include me more? Which I appreciate. But my sister and I (I have four sisters, but am much closer to one of them) do a lot of stuff together. We watch some TV shows together after her kids go to bed, they'll invite me over for dinner occasionally (and sometimes I'll make dinner and take it to their house to reciprocate - it's easier than them bringing the kids to my house). Anyway, I'm sure my mom has good intentions. It's weird, she was VERY standoffish with my sister when they got married. She told them NOT to bring their problems to her, but to work it out with their husbands. She was never pushy with holidays and never got offended if an in-law's holiday time conflicted with ours, and would make every effort to work around the in-law's schedules (sometimes making a big lunch AND dinner). And then suddenly grandbabies arrive and she comes a little unglued. I asked her one time about it as gently as I could and she said, "When I had you girls, I missed my mom more than I ever though I could miss her. I think I was more sad raising you girls without her than I was right when she died (she died right before my parents go married)." She said, "You need your mom for a lot of things, but as an adult, you really don't feel like you NEED her until you have kids and feel lost." So I know she's over-compensating for what she missed - trying to be there because she knows what it's like to NOT have a mom there. So I can sympathize with that. On the other hand, I know my brother in laws feel a little annoyed by how often they call her instead of trusting their own instincts or their husbands. So that's not a good thing. That said, my mom's an excellent mom. She's VERY nurturing and when she's around my nieces and nephews you can tell she's meant to be a mom. She is authoritative, but very compassionate and patient. It's hard to remember those things from when we were kids because it's been so long. So I appreciate that she's very wise and only wants to share as much as she can in case she's ever not around (her mom died suddenly).

So I try to be sensitive to it. She's like a momma hen. Er, a grandma hen??

But I do need boundaries. And should feel OK saying no. So, it's been added as a life goal. It's hard to say, "Say no 10 times." I wonder if I could say, "Say no 75% of the time" when choices come up. Because there are things that I dno't mind doing but also don't mind missing. I should learn to say no to all of those for awhile.

I feel your pain on so many fronts.. Not from myself, but my girlfriend. She finds herself feeling left out because friends can be petty sometimes. My good friends are all 30 hours away from me now so I don't have as many of these issues. They're used to me saying no though haha. Most of the time what's worse is they don't listen.

What another said, kids make things change! My girlfriend has kids and now she has to say no. However, kids are like the epitome of an easy no lol. Whatever the excuse saying no gets easier with time.

It sounds like you need to talk with your mom or just start saying no and then when she gets bothered by it explain it to her. I'd say you gotta put a foot down. I know it's hard and you can totally make it a lightly pressing of your foot, but it's eating into your life and YOU are not happy about it. It's your life. You're volunteering your time for others. If you do it a little less because you have priorities (god forbid) you're still good to your family.

It sounds like you haven't been able to make a commitment to yourself or other priorities because you are guilted into other commitments. :/ This is always a struggle, but you gotta win a little!

Also, I like SS because of the simplicity. I recommend you getting back into it. Start a commitment 3 days a week! I do Wed, Fri, Sun. I'm guess you can't take a long lunch from work and there's no nearby gyms? Didn't you say you have one at work? The advantage would be taking a break from the day since you don't care much for your job and then coming back a little fresher. A real break from work lol.

Yes, you're right on all accounts! And it's tough. My petty friends are fun to hang out with and give good advice, but also are petty. Just like everything in life, nothing's perfect. And there's no all-good or all-bad. So they're good friends, but also can be selfish/bad friends. I guess I need to evaluate which are more bad friends than good, and weed them out or make it a point to decline thos eoffers and try to build up the friendships that are more good than bad.

As for my gym at work, all we have are dumbbells. That's not a bad thing, but I dont' get as much pleasure out of it. Plus, my job is super-annoying, and people complain to me ALL.THE.TIME. So I avoid the gym. Even if i have earbuds in people will start casual convo wiht me. Then start complaining/politicing for me to fix their problems. So selfish. As a whole, selfish people are making me grouchy!

I thkn I'm going to do StrongLifts. I've never done it before, and IfItPlugsIn wants to hold each other accountable. So that'll be fun. I'm gong to spend the next challenge building back up to my PRs with great form (I've lost strength, but those old PRs were also shaky form).

RE barbell: that's where our squat plan came from! hahaha I really like that guy's blog. He's so down to earth but such an immense bad ass.

re Vent: That does sound infuriating. I agree with Blueberries. Don't you dare tell me how I'm going to spend my time. Jerks.

I started, long ago, telling people no when I didn't want to do things. It was awesome and liberating. And hard. And there were still people (my sister) I had trouble saying no to.

Recently, I've been thinking about how few IRL friends I have. Thinking about the IRL friends I had but have since lost contact with, etc.. and honestly, it's kind of sad BUT really, those people aren't people I generally had fun with. They didn't bring much, if anything, to my life. My life was not better for having them in it.. and frankly, I'm not interested in maintaining relationships with people if that's the case. So, yeah.. I might get engaged and plan the smallest wedding ever but at least I'll know that the people who are there are people I genuinely want to see.

So tl;dr, don't settle for dbag friends just because ya get lonely. You deserve better.

But again, like Blueberries, I say that but it is easier for me since I have Boyf.

Yeah, I'm not sure if having a BF would help. Probably. I openly told my friend the other day, 'My year of being man-free is almost over. ANd I think I'm actually READY for a boyfriend!" Now, it's not like boyfriends just crawl out of the woodwork when you decide you're ready, but I'm more open to it now. And it's been a good year not focusing on getting the attention of (or worse, trying to build relationships with bad) men. So, we'll see.

As for friends, I said a little above that while these friends can bepetty/selfish, they are also good friends too. Some of them all they want to do is drink. That gets a little old, and I want to branch out from that. But I do have a few friends who like to do stuff sober. So I just need to make a point of focusing more on those firendships.

Kelly, I think you are being way to harsh on yourself! Your exercise goal should be a C... you did more than half the workouts! And your eating one, like many others said, I would think is an A.

And whats more important... think of where you would be if you hadn't done the 6 week challenge? I am sure you are much better off having done it, than if you hadn't!

Looking forward to seeing what you do for your next challenge!

Yes, focusing on sale ads and planning my meals over the weekends was GREAT for me! I actually really enjoyed that. And felt like i was spending my money better (as long as I didn't mass-dump food, which I think only happened that one time). I think maybe a solid B+ is fair!

And the exercising. That was more a fail from the, "I just sat on my ass when I knew I shoudl have been working out" perspective. You know how teachers give students who get a C but tried really hard a B or an A? In this case, I may have earned a C theoretically, but for me it was terrible work.

That said, I appreciate your feedback! I know I grade myself harshly. IT's kind of who I am. And I'm trying to get beter at all or nothing. If I had felt like I skipped workouts because I was busy or sick, I would have given myself a lot more lenience. Next challenge I'm counting JUST lifting workouts. So with those, no wiggle room! Three workouts a week is so simple. Must focus!

Laura and Blueberries are super smart ladies, and I agree with them (which make me feel smart). As we've talked about before, I totally can feel your pain on the loneliness. I am married, but I haven't been able to make friends here, and with hubby going back to night shift tonight, I have many months ahead of me with no one home when I sleep, or trying to tiptoe around during the day when he's trying to rest. I'd love to be able to call up a friend and go grab a coffee or have someone who would go with me to the farmer's market, but I'm not willing to put up with BS just to have a friend. My husbands coworkers and spouses/significant others are all party type people, and I mean heavy drinking multiple nights a week. They aren't people who would ever go to see a play or go to the concerts I like, or even be intersted in just going out to lunch on the weekend. I find them extremely boring, and when compared to my amazing friends from Cali, I just can't bring myself to deal with their crap. I'm not a loner, I just prefer to have my interactions to have some sort of meaning! But, then again I was sort of forced into a situation, rather than friends gradually not inviting me or whatever, so that's a bit different too.

And for your mom and those things, speak up! You're absolutely right that your time isn't any less valuable to you because you aren't sharing it with a significant other or kids. You have plenty to do without being volunteered for things without your consent. "Enjoy your free Sundays!"

I hear you on the party type of people. They're definitely fun when I feel like drinking, but I always drink waaaaaay too much with them. So it's fun at the time, but the wasted following day is making me shy away more. My next challenge I'm giving up alcohol and eating out all togheter. So that will definitely be isolating. I did the same thing for Lent, and two friends still did stuff with me. I also gave myself a two-beer and one meal break on Sundays. I didn't always use it, but it was a nice little bit of relaxation. I'm giving up wheat though, so probably can't do the beer thing. Sad. And beer's the drink I love.

PrincessHeather, you should try Meetups. Maybe find people with similar interests. I know I did for awhile, but I guess I'm a nerd and only found other people to program with

I've looked for meetups in my town, and there's really not anything. There's a group of women who go out to eat. Not good for me. There is a hiking group. I asked to be added to the gorup but haven't been, yet. So either they don't want to add me or the group is defunct. Other than that, there's really not anything in town. I'm so introverted, I'd be terrified to go to soemthing like this the first time! But once I got past the first tiem, I bet it woudl be fun!

[weirdquark]

"Say 'no' unless you're really totally okay with doing whatever it is"?

I mean, the idea behind saying no is to not let people take advantage of you and to get comfortable with turning people down when you don't want to do something. But there isn't anything wrong with saying yes because you want to be able to help people out.

How about "Always say no when it would inconvenience you to say yes"?

[PrincessHeather]

I've looked for meetups in my town, and there's really not anything. There's a group of women who go out to eat. Not good for me. There is a hiking group. I asked to be added to the gorup but haven't been, yet. So either they don't want to add me or the group is defunct. Other than that, there's really not anything in town. I'm so introverted, I'd be terrified to go to soemthing like this the first time! But once I got past the first tiem, I bet it woudl be fun!

The hiking group sounds good, especially if they are your age. I tried out a hiking group from church over summer, but all the other ladies were 55+. They were lovely people, but I was hoping to connect with 20-30 somethings. I think I'd be really nervous about meeting "strangers" but they'd only be that once right, after that they'd at least be acquaintances, right? I should consider making this a goal for next challenge, but I already have a life goal picked out... hmmm.