MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Mark D]

1 hour ago, wildross said:

That's really good. Meekness is power under control.

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And I'm reminded of Who said "Blessed are the meek"

 

 

[Mordechaj]

I could never stomach the preachyness of Art of Manlyness.

 

Can somebody tell me a single character trait that they perceive as a manly characteristic, that they wouldn't like to see in their daughter?

[Mark D]

47 minutes ago, Mordechaj said:

I could never stomach the preachyness of Art of Manlyness.

 

Can somebody tell me a single character trait that they perceive as a manly characteristic, that they wouldn't like to see in their daughter?

 

A beard.

 

 

[Thrillho]

Thrillho the Younger is 'manlier' than I will ever be. 

 

[Mordechaj]

22 hours ago, Mark D said:

 

A beard.

 

 

 

[Thrillho]

Also, apropos of nothing... wow, it's crazy how much of this probably moulded my personality and upbringing. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheUnfairSex

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

55 minutes ago, Thrillho said:

Also, apropos of nothing... wow, it's crazy how much of this probably moulded my personality and upbringing. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheUnfairSex

Messed me up for a long time.

[Thrillho]

I dunno if 'messed up' is the proper word for it, but I think this would go a long way to explaining why a lot of guys I know (and about a billion I've seen online) might grow up with a bit of a chip on their shoulder regarding, like... all women everywhere.  

[Happytin]

Jumping in as a n00b, hello everyone. I was intrigued to see what manly things are afoot.

 

I had to stop reading The Art of Manliness in the end. Initially I enjoyed it for the practical life-skills articles that applied, as Mordachaj says, to everyone. However, more and more over the years, "manliness" has come to mean something uncomfortably close to the 1950s White American Christian to my reading eyes. I absolutely couldn't get with that and I don't want to bring up a generation of men who think of women as creatures who need putting on a pedestal and catching with a cushion every time they sneeze, and who feel they get a raw deal because of their juxtaposition to this and therefore inability to express emotions, have a conversation, cry, care about clothes, like colours, take care of children, earn less money than a woman etc etc.

 

In the UK I've noticed on bus stops adverts with puns about stereotypes - such as "Propamanda -the catalogue of stereotypes aimed at making you a manly man, proper bloke, top lad " They're linked to CALM - The Campaign Against Living Miserably which is to combat male suicide.

 

That went serious quickly, sorry!

[Artinum]

I never got into TAoM in the first place. I remember one of their articles promised to teach you how to whistle by sticking your fingers in your mouth. I won't force you to hunt down or read the entire article - this is how the article teaches you:

 

1. Stick fingers in mouth.

2. Blow.

3. Keep trying different mouth shapes until it works.

 

Gee, thanks. And there I was trying to whistle by sticking my fingers in my ears...

[Mordechaj]

No no no, you've got it all wrong! Sticking fingers in your ears is for the person next to the whistler!

[Mark D]

I just looked in the mirror in the men's room and notices a bunch of very long, grey hairs sticking up out of the neck of my t-shirt.  Unlike some men, my hair didn't disappear from my head and sprout in other places, it just seems to keep growing in those other places.....

 

I can also recall when my beard was mostly brown instead of grey.....

 

 

[insanity]

On 6/16/2016 at 11:16 AM, Thrillho said:

I dunno if 'messed up' is the proper word for it, but I think this would go a long way to explaining why a lot of guys I know (and about a billion I've seen online) might grow up with a bit of a chip on their shoulder regarding, like... all women everywhere.  

Pretty much this, and that chip gets bigger seemingly everyday.

[wildross]

2 hours ago, insanity said:

Pretty much this, and that chip gets bigger seemingly everyday.

I've gone so far as to say (out loud, to someone else) in response to "Well, if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"...."Well then Momma is a spoiled little brat and needs to grow up" (because the saying implies that Momma has to get her way to be happy).

[insanity]

1 hour ago, wildross said:

I've gone so far as to say (out loud, to someone else) in response to "Well, if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"...."Well then Momma is a spoiled little brat and needs to grow up" (because the saying implies that Momma has to get her way to be happy).

I've heard that many times, my response is usually along the lines of "nope", which can vary depending on how my mood. Seems to work for me, I'll help my fiance out with a bad day, but I still have my good day. :-)

[Waldo]

On 6/16/2016 at 11:34 AM, Happytin said:

I had to stop reading The Art of Manliness in the end. Initially I enjoyed it for the practical life-skills articles that applied, as Mordachaj says, to everyone. However, more and more over the years, "manliness" has come to mean something uncomfortably close to the 1950s White American Christian to my reading eyes.

 

Yes.

 

A caricature of what manliness used to mean a couple of generations ago. Their grooming and dress advice makes me want to gouge my eyes out.  I'm a (cheap) jeans and t shirt kind of guy.

 

Times have changed, the relationship between the sexes has altered big time.

 

This is the reality of today:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/26/hookup-culture-isnt-the-problem-facing-singles-today-its-math/

and that's just dating.  Around the house and raising kids, gender roles are far more blurred.  The education gap of the 50's flipped a couple decades ago and just continues to deepen, higher and lower education.

[The Ox King]

Any tips on styling my beard? I've got a very straight, kinda wavy hair, and it's gotten to be close to eight inches. However, it's not particularly thick. So, I've let it grow straight out, only trimming my neck. It's started to go wild now. I used oil and conditioner fairly regularly (I go without once a week of so). What should I do with it?

[Kage]

I don't know if this is a horrible thing to ask. I'm embarrassed just writing it, but I'd rather ask than never know. Thanks in advance! (Disclaimer for my questions: I'm blind, so I can't see social norms.)

 

I've recently bought a gym membership. I'm avoiding going because I don't know lockerroom etiquette. It's important to me to shower after working out, but I don't know:

 

1. When to wear a towel and when not to

 

2. I'm *very* skinny-fat. Low weight, but extremely high body-fat percentage. Is that disgusting for guys to see naked? I'm afraid that's something sighted guys care/judge about. I don't want to ruin anyone's day...

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Don't worry about being judged. Most Americans are either skinny-fat or fat. It's what we're used to seeing.

At the gyms I've been to there are always some guys, generally old guys, who revel in their nakedness and let everything hang out. Don't be one of those guys.

When you're at your locker nudity is expected, but sighted folks deal with it by not making eye contact.

Wrap your towel around your waist for any walking about the locker room that you're going to do, such as to and from the showers.

This advice is valid in Minnesota, where people are pretty uptight.

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[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, Kage said:

I don't know if this is a horrible thing to ask. I'm embarrassed just writing it, but I'd rather ask than never know. Thanks in advance! (Disclaimer for my questions: I'm blind, so I can't see social norms.)

 

I've recently bought a gym membership. I'm avoiding going because I don't know lockerroom etiquette. It's important to me to shower after working out, but I don't know:

 

1. When to wear a towel and when not to

 

2. I'm *very* skinny-fat. Low weight, but extremely high body-fat percentage. Is that disgusting for guys to see naked? I'm afraid that's something sighted guys care/judge about. I don't want to ruin anyone's day...

 

 

It's a perfectly normal thing to ask. Dudes pretty much try to avoid eye contact in the locker room unless they already know each other. For towels, wrap one around your waist when you take off your underwear, walk to the shower, then set it down some where. Dry off just outside the stall, wrap the towel around your waist, head back to your locker, then put your underwear on right away.

[Mark D]

12 hours ago, Kage said:

I don't know if this is a horrible thing to ask. I'm embarrassed just writing it, but I'd rather ask than never know. Thanks in advance! (Disclaimer for my questions: I'm blind, so I can't see social norms.)

 

I've recently bought a gym membership. I'm avoiding going because I don't know lockerroom etiquette. It's important to me to shower after working out, but I don't know:

 

1. When to wear a towel and when not to

 

2. I'm *very* skinny-fat. Low weight, but extremely high body-fat percentage. Is that disgusting for guys to see naked? I'm afraid that's something sighted guys care/judge about. I don't want to ruin anyone's day...

 

 

 

Well, first, it really doesn't matter how attractive or unattractive you are, most men just don't want to see you naked.  You could look like Brad Pitt in Troy, it wouldn't matter.  A certain amount of nudity is understood to happen in locker rooms, but like any other time you're required to do something those around you may find unpleasant, you get it over with as quickly and efficiently as possible, and don't make a fuss.  Just like if you're out to dinner with a group of people and you need to use the restroom, you excuse yourself, get up, and go do what you need to do.

 

Here's how I handle it, and how the vast majority of guys I share a locker room with handle it:

 

After work out, return to locker, open locker, remove from locker those items I need for showering (towel, soap, etc).  Sit down, remove shoes, then rest of clothes, underwear last, and put each removed item in locker.  Wrap towel around waist.  Close and lock locker, go shower.  After shower, turn off water, open shower door, retrieve towel and dry off in stall (I do this because the stalls are large enough, and I try not to get the floor too wet for the next guy.  If the stall is small you may need to step outside).  After drying, wrap towel, return to locker, unlock it.  Remove clean clothes from locker (I tend to stack them in the order they'll be put on), apply deodorant, remove towel, apply powder if you do so, put on underwear, then continue dressing.

 

Some guys will try to put their underwear on while still wearing the towel, but I don't find that necessary.  One guy I've seen of apparently exceptional modesty wears a swimsuit to shower (and we have private stalls).  Some guys (generally older guys, and since I'm 53 I mean older than ME) will walk around naked, carry on conversations, talk on phone, etc.  As has been said, don't be that guy.

 

One thing I'm careful of is to not put my naked butt on the bench, it's referred to as the stench on the bench, or stain on the grain, or taint on the paint.  Yes, I sit down to put my socks on, AFTER I put my underwear on, or sit down to remove my socks before showering, but before I remove my underwear.

 

Don't leave your dirty clothes around while you're showering.  Put them in your locker, gym bag, whatever.  Someone coming in while you're showering doesn't need to have to kick your sweaty underwear aside so he can get to his locker.

 

tl;dr: No one cares, just be considerate.

 

In fact that last sentence sums up manners in most cases.

 

[Mordechaj]

17 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Don't worry about being judged. Most Americans are either skinny-fat or fat. It's what we're used to seeing.

At the gyms I've been to there are always some guys, generally old guys, who revel in their nakedness and let everything hang out. Don't be one of those guys.

When you're at your locker nudity is expected, but sighted folks deal with it by not making eye contact.

Wrap your towel around your waist for any walking about the locker room that you're going to do, such as to and from the showers.

This advice is valid in Minnesota, where people are pretty uptight.

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I agree with the don't worry part, but rather suggest to be one of the old farts. It's much more liberating approach.

 

http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences2/locker_room

[Mark D]

1 hour ago, Mordechaj said:

 

I agree with the don't worry part, but rather suggest to be one of the old farts. It's much more liberating approach.

 

http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences2/locker_room

 

And that marks the 14,173rd time that cartoon has been posted.  Including once when I noted I was at an awkward age, too young to walk around the locker room naked, too old to make every effort to hide my junk.

[Sloth the Enduring]

 

And that marks the 14,173rd time that cartoon has been posted.  Including once when I noted I was at an awkward age, too young to walk around the locker room naked, too old to make every effort to hide my junk.

Two more years. When you're eligible for AARP you're also eligible to let it all hang out in the locker room. But please put a towel down before you sit anywhere.

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[wildross]

I'm 56. I'm trending toward the old fart...but I don't sit on the bench nekid

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