MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Jcannon98188]

So ive got this girlfriend, right? And she's pretty radical. Definitely fortunate to have someone so attractive and fun to be around. Also shes really sweet.

Happy now artinum?

No way brah. Pretty radical. She sounds swell

[Nomad Jay]

So dudes ... Anger / rage / aggression, etc ...

 

Any good ideas on how to deal with it?

 

Mine has been manifesting in a brooding self-deprication mode, where I am super defensive and been getting a little snappy (not yelling, but always on the defensive even when she's just asking me benign questions) with my wife recently (not something i'm proud of) and it sucks. She's been pretty understanding as my work stress levels have been through the roof since October, but it's not fair to her and I don't have any good coping mechanisms for this type of stuff.

 

 

It's better when I'm working out regularly, but damn if I don't like it one bit.

 

I'm what is euphemistically referred to as "intense" and informally referred to as "tightly-wound". Occasionally I go through a cycle of severly self-deprecating introspection that colors my interactions with the rest of the world. Having tried a couple of methods to deal with this, including drinking a quarter-bottle of whiskey every weekend, I started journaling on the advice of a friend. Now when I find myself getting angry without knowing why I put pen to paper. Wrapping words around my issues doesn't magically cure them but it does help me identify them and gives me a form of social and emotional release. Sometimes I discover that I think I'm pissed about one thing but I'm actually transferring anger over something else. It's also a way for me to talk myself through something and spot old patterns and thinking habits that I'm falling back into. In summary it's is less expensive, less self-destructive, and more effective than drinking a quarter-bottle of scotch every weekend, which was the old way of dealing with things.

 

I also take time to be by myself. Going for a day hike or a weekend camping trip by your lonesome can sometimes help you recharge just by removing you from the source of whatever's bothering you.

 

I realize that none of these can change the circumstances of your work levels and such, but I'm learning that when I can't change the facts I have to bend my attitude.

[mrRed]

Nomad thanks, sounds a bit like myself, except subsitute quarter bottle a weekend to >1 a week. There are often times when I average 25+ alcoholic beverages a week. I'm working on that, and know it's not healthy or helpful, but I very likely have some issues with alcohol. That being said, I get drunk probably twice a year, and hate being drunk, but I really like having 2-4 drinks daily (I get nervous when I think about not drinking, which is probably bad). Been trying to limit myself to 1 a night this week to see if it helps at all, and i'm not quite sure yet, but I think I am sleeping more soundly at least.

 

The alone time thing is really important to me, and I'm trying to find a way to make that happen without sacrificing time with my wife and son, which are really the most important. The writing thing sounds good, although I think I probably need to find a way to work more with my hands. When I've done that in the past, I've been happier, and since my son was born, I haven't done much for myself other than lifting.

[Church]

What kind of work do you do with your hands? Wood carving, mechanics, painting, etc? Cuz that could be a great way to bond with your little one, especially if he's old enough to join in a little bit. When I was just a little shaver I used to LOVE doing things like that with my dad. I didn't fully appreciate everything be was trying to do/teach at the time, but I loved helping him fix up his old '71 duster. Even if I did just pass tools and hold things for him.

[mrRed]

I used to build small amplifiers/speakers and guitar distortion boxes for friends. I'd love to learn how to make Bell Ropes and think that will be my next project. I enjoy tying knots and a large bell rope seems like it would be a big challenge.

[mrRed]

Mainly because I have more stereo stuff than I need and while I'd like build a really nice Tube Amp / Small speaker set-up, I really can't afford to spend a few hundred dollars are parts right now, and I'd have nowhere to put it.

 

stuff with the son sounds fun, but he's not even 18 months old yet, so horseplay, reading, coloring and taking walks is about all we can really do with him right now.

[Nomad Jay]

I would offer the old addage of quality over quantity. If a few hours a week to yourself means you can put more of yourself into the hours you spend with your family, I'm certain your wife and son would make the trade. However, being unmarried myself, I am perhaps speaking out of turn.

 

I'm with you on working with your hands. I took up woodworking last year and there's a certain pride one takes in shaping things from raw materials.

[Robert]

A hat discussion!  Fantastic.

 

I need to start wearing hats.  Over the past few years I've started to get frequent migraines (every week or so) and I'm very sensitive to light...  So I've been wearing caps and sun visors when I'm outside for a long time or when I'm riding on the train (the electric lights KILL me if I don't).  The sun visors are dorky as hell, but I can fit them into my coat pocket easily, so that's a matter of convenience...

 

But I really need a less dorky hat.  I'm in New York / New Jersey, dress casual (usually jeans and a t-shirt, and often button down shirts).  And I have the additional requirement that it NEEDS to have a wide brim (at least in the front) to block the light.  That's half the point, really.  Any ideas?

Tarp hats sound okay, at least for when I'm outdoors exercising...  I need to think about that.

I should probably start dressing in a slightly nicer fashion, too, since I'm getting older...  So...  Something that can go casual or more dressy would be ideal.

 

I am SO not used to wearing hats that I think they all look terrible on me, though they probably don't really.  They just look weird to me since I never wear them.

 

Also, in terms of hat etiquette, am I being terribly rude wearing mine on the train?  That's KIND OF indoors...  I mean, I'm going to do it either way, but it'd be good to know.

[Robert]

Somehow I missed a lot of pages on this thread, and thought the hat discussion was current, haha.  Oops!

[Church]

Men.

 

I have been going to my local barber for a straight razor shave about once a month for about a year now, and today while enjoying my shave, I impulse-bought my very own straight razor. I'll report back in a few days with how it goes. You know, after I hopefully figure out how to not end up looking like an extra in a horror movie 0.o 

 

Any advice?

[Red1263]

Find some way to practice on something else first, until you're able to get it flawlessly before you try it on yourself, I hope not to hear about a nerd who had a near-death experience, because his own awesomeness tried to kill him.

[Church]

My own awesomeness tries to kill me quite frequently. Have I never told you about the dumbbell overhead toss that I like to do? lol. 

 

I'm thinking that I'll practice a bunch on the cheeks and side of the face before I move to more complicated areas like the neck, chin or lip(s). 

[Nomad Jay]

The website ArtOfManliness had an introductory tutorial. I think it was called Shave Like Your Great-Grandfather or something similar.

[Church]

I actually just finished reading that. But I'll definitely take another look once I have some facial hair to shave off. Lol.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I started using a safety razor and brush for my shaving.  I don't know what to tell you about the straight razor, but I found that with practice I'm getting a better shave and developing muscle memory for the angle at which to hold the razor.  My guess for safety would be gently scrape, the worst you'll probably get is a shallow nick.  Get a styptic pencil, it has alum in it that closes up cuts quickly.  A tip for shaving, if you use a brush (which you should if you're going to the trouble of getting a straight razor) get a coffee cup full of water, put it in the microwave for 2 minutes.  Dip your brush in that to get water on the brush instead of running hot water.  You will get  much nicer and warmer lather than from tap water.  Gently nudge the brush when you pull it out of the water just to keep it from dripping on you, keep as much water on the brush as possible, then mix for lather.  I use the kit you can get in grocery stores, it has a bowl, glycerin soap and a boar hair brush and it works great. I've read that badger hair, while more expensive, holds more water and therefore produces a better lather, but I have no complaints with what I've got.

[Church]

I e been using a badger hair brush for a while now (just bought my second on the other day) and even with a Gillette fusion the difference is night and day. I'll definitely try the coffee cup trick. And the shaving soap I use comes in a blue dish so I generally just wet the brush and lather up right in the dish. And I'm definitely going to look into a styptic pencil or one of the other methods I read about yesterday.

[Niccolo]

I got a straight razor for Christmas and have been working  up to using it on a regular basis.  One thing that helped out with learning angles and pressures was to practice once or twice on my knee.  (Yes, I know, men shaving legs, but it's for a good cause!)  That gave me a good start on my technique.

 

Another thing that I've done is not to go all out and switch to the razor cold turkey.  Start off doing a small area and slowly add more surface to it as the days go on.  Clean up the rest of your face with your old razor.  As far as where to start, cheeks are good and the underside of the jaw is also pretty easy.  The neck can be a challenge depending on how far down you go and how pronounced your throat and neck muscles are.  The jaw and especially the chin are difficult enough that I'm still working on my technique there.

 

Good luck, Church!  I know that I love my new razor and can't wait to get rid of my old one.  

[Church]

That's what I'm thinking. Slowly phase the straight blade in over several months. Thanks for the knee tip, I'll definitely give it a go!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

It certainly is cheaper not to have to buy razor blades that are more highly engineered than the space shuttle!

[Church]

Well, I gave the straight razor a shot today, and that is a damn manly way to shave! And I got to break in my Styptic pencil. lol. 

 

Only did the cheeks and underside of the jaw and things went well. There's a place in town that specializes in mens hair cutting and shaving. They even do old school hot shaving and use strait razors, I believe. I look forward to going there on sunday or monday, before I go back to camp.

[Guest Snake McClain]

so the straight razor gets a thumbs up huh? Cool. I think it seems awesome but i hate anything other than my electric trimmer. i dont like being smooth. i like the stubble.

[RisenPhoenix]

I keep meaning to pick up a straight razor/safety razor. I was visiting a friend who's roommate had a safety razor and he could not say enough good things about it. But given I have a beard going on, I don't really need much more than my trimmer. My neck gets shaved twice a week, and I have enough cartridges given to me as gifts that it would be silly to not use them. Eventually, when I run out.... One day.

In other thoughts, in trying to think of an easily picked up manly hobby. Any thoughts? As it is my free time is spent reading, cooking, playing video games, and practicing in the dojo. I just feel like I want a more hands-on hobby that I can do mindlessly when I'm bored.

[Church]

It's not necessarily "manly", but when I was younger my baba taught me to make pysanka (the elaborately decorated ukrainian egg ornaments) and I do that every now and then, even though I'm not very good at it. I got the apparatus when she passed away a few years ago.

You could also try carving. All you really need to get going is a knife and something to carve. Or buy bars of soap and carve those. Or make your own soap. AoM has a post on it.

Also, straight razor is the way to go! I love mine. Even though I still haven't mastered it. And there are a few areas that are awkward to get, and one or two that I can figure out how to get at all. Lol

[Nomad Jay]

In other thoughts, in trying to think of an easily picked up manly hobby. Any thoughts? As it is my free time is spent reading, cooking, playing video games, and practicing in the dojo. I just feel like I want a more hands-on hobby that I can do mindlessly when I'm bored.

 

In a mindlessly consumeristic society, I'd say any kind of hobby where you produce rather than consume is a step in the right direction.

[Shukar]

Only just late to jump into the thread at the shaving discussion, cool I guess. Personally I've found I really enjoy old school shaving, I've got two DEs now and a Straight. My advice for switching to a DE from a cartridge razor is to just take it slow and don't try and go against the grain until you've been at it a while. For switching from either to a Straight I'd suggest you start off with two passes with the grain until you've got that down and then make the second across the grain. In either case if you need the shave to be closer after that use whichever razor you are switching from. I'd say don't even consider adding an against the grain pass until you are comfortable with the results you are getting in terms of nicks and what not. I've got a bit of a thing or wet shaving anymore, it's my hobby apparently. 

 

Also, hello denizens of Son of Men Thread