MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

And I have a query for the man-council:

On of my female friends was out drinking the other night and got a ride home from a friend of hers (a guy) and his clever, suave, go-to move was "hey, you wanna suck my dick?"

Which is something I take issue with for several reasons, chief among them being her beliefs: no sex until marriage, masturbation is a sin (I don't know how she does it! Lol).

My query is this: is that really where our level of Game is at? What happened to the art of seduction? Or even a little bit of tact and subtlety?

And for the record, I DID get a favorable response when I made a joke of it by saying "if anything I'd ask if I could go down on you. Of course we'd have to actually hang out before I could get a chance to..."

So what do you guys think?

I'd also be interested in hearing what the ladies think as well.

I can't comment on personal experience on where our game is at, especially with women who may be tipsy, as I've been with my wife since before we started drinking (drinking 18, together since 17). However, I would assume he went with that move assuming she was a bit drunk and he didn't need to work as hard. Still pretty douchey though.

As for how she does it, I assume it's just because she doesn't know what she's missing, but that's not the point of the post so I'll end it there. It would be a fun topic later though.

[leadchipmunk]

My query is this: is that really where our level of Game is at? What happened to the art of seduction? Or even a little bit of tact and subtlety?

I had a whole big response on this, but couldn't get it worded right, so I'm going to say this. That man is a dick and she should have punched him in his penis.

As for the discussion of Game and the art of seduction, I look down on them as much as I do his line. I see them as nothing more than as a way to get into a girls pants.

So, here is my secondary query: What happened to the art of courting?

[Jcannon98188]

Glad I'm not the only one who has bitten toenails. Same thing, can't get foot to mouth since I was like 13.

Holy crap I thought I was the only one! I don't do it as often (because it is gross) but I have done it before. (Still got the flexibility )

[Jcannon98188]

chief among them being her beliefs: no sex until marriage, masturbation is a sin (I don't know how she does it! Lol).

As someone who also has these beliefs, I can tell you that while it isn't always easy, it is not at all impossible. I suppose it helps to just never get into the practice in the first place.

[Church]

I had a whole big response on this, but couldn't get it worded right, so I'm going to say this. That man is a dick and she should have punched him in his penis.

As for the discussion of Game and the art of seduction, I look down on them as much as I do his line. I see them as nothing more than as a way to get into a girls pants.

So, here is my secondary query: What happened to the art of courting?

I should clarify that when I refer to Game or Seduction, I don't mean in the douchey "trick a weak minded broad into banging me" kind of way. My definition is much closer to "Courting", I just couldn't think of the right word.

And frankly "Game" has gotten a bad rap. ANYTHING can be "game", it doesn't have to be skeezy, douchey, or tricky. Basic human interaction is technically "game". Because game is basically just the art of social interaction. Now there IS a segment of it that focuses on inter-gender communication for the explicit purpose of getting laid or (less popularly) having a real relationship.

[BeckyBuckeye]

As far as nail biting: I use nail clippers. Lol. And I just cut them super short.

And I have a query for the man-council:

On of my female friends was out drinking the other night and got a ride home from a friend of hers (a guy) and his clever, suave, go-to move was "hey, you wanna suck my dick?"

Which is something I take issue with for several reasons, chief among them being her beliefs: no sex until marriage, masturbation is a sin (I don't know how she does it! Lol).

My query is this: is that really where our level of Game is at? What happened to the art of seduction? Or even a little bit of tact and subtlety?

And for the record, I DID get a favorable response when I made a joke of it by saying "if anything I'd ask if I could go down on you. Of course we'd have to actually hang out before I could get a chance to..."

So what do you guys think?

I'd also be interested in hearing what the ladies think as well.

As one of the ladies, I would be PISSED. That would give me 2 important insights: 1. He doesn't really care about me as a friend and just wanted to sleep with me and 2. He thinks my personal values aren't important enough to respect. I'm not going to throw those values out the window for one "suave" line.

As for courtship, I think it has declined somewhat but it isn't dead. In general, if you just walk up to a girl and use that line, she's not going to take you up on the offer. The men who court badly don't get ladies.

Exit stage left

[CyningaDena]

So, here is my secondary query: What happened to the art of courting?

Right? I wanna see dudes standing outside windows with, like, lutes and shit.

I think there is still today a strong undercurrent of misogyny in many young men, and a profound disrespect for women in general. This sort of douchery is just one more manifestation of that. We're at an odd point in gender relations where women are allowed (and sometimes encouraged if they're lucky enough to find the right social group) to be strong and fiercely independent, but at the same time "feminist" has become a bad word. Very strange messages to be sending to a young woman like your friend: be strong enough to make your own decisions about your own sexuality, but also be willing to cave so that "my" decisions trump yours when I'm drunk and horny. Be driven, but also every woman should be willing to put everything she's gained on hold to raise babies with no questions asked. Be independent, but also act small and weak so you can attract a man by making him feel stronger.

Those are, of course, very broad strokes that I just painted with. But things like pick-up artists don't appear from a vacuum: they're born from a context of attitudes and conditions that already exist in our culture, and that make such douchery possible. I wish I could think of a solution.

I hope your friend, for her own sanity if not her safety, ditches that douche. It's no friend who shows such disrepect.

[leadchipmunk]

As someone who also has these beliefs, I can tell you that while it isn't always easy, it is not at all impossible. I suppose it helps to just never get into the practice in the first place.

As someone else who has also held those beliefs, I must agree. It gets even harder when you not only believe in sex before marriage, but also don't believe in marriage. In my case, one of those 2 options had to go, so I chose the former. Then the latter also went with time (with the same person though).

I should clarify that when I refer to Game or Seduction, I don't mean in the douchey "trick a weak minded broad into banging me" kind of way. My definition is much closer to "Courting", I just couldn't think of the right word.

And frankly "Game" has gotten a bad rap. ANYTHING can be "game", it doesn't have to be skeezy, douchey, or tricky. Basic human interaction is technically "game". Because game is basically just the art of social interaction. Now there IS a segment of it that focuses on inter-gender communication for the explicit purpose of getting laid or (less popularly) having a real relationship.

I've never heard of game in any sense other than getting a woman to bed, but the way you explain it does make sense. I redact my previous statement.

[Artinum]

And I have a query for the man-council:

On of my female friends was out drinking the other night and got a ride home from a friend of hers (a guy) and his clever, suave, go-to move was "hey, you wanna suck my dick?"

My query is this: is that really where our level of Game is at? What happened to the art of seduction? Or even a little bit of tact and subtlety?

And for the record, I DID get a favorable response when I made a joke of it by saying "if anything I'd ask if I could go down on you. Of course we'd have to actually hang out before I could get a chance to..."

So what do you guys think?

Since I'm socially awkward, I have developed a dry, dark and somewhat acid wit - though mostly I fall into puns and innuendo, which are fun. But the trick with witty comebacks is preparation. Prepare the basic elements and have them in the back of your mind, so you can throw them together when the moment for them is right. Or just remember the ones you hear. Remember, professional comedians spend hours rehearsing their jokes.

So one of my stock answers to a comment like this? "Buy me a drink first."

PS: I'm glad I'm not the only toenail biter.

[67alecto]

I have/would not get a pedicure, but that is because I absolutely hate my feet and it is even worse when I have people around them. If you don't have as strong of feelings, I say go for it. It isn't unmanly and can be really good for your feet.

Nothing unmanly about caring for feet. I have a pumice stone in the shower to work on the calluses that develop before they become counterproductive. The alternative is this little gem. The background is that I got invited to play basketball with some co-workers as I was walking out the door to go to the gym. I did a 5k at the gym. After that, I went over and played basketball for an hour (2 on 2, half-court).

When I got home, I took off my shoes and saw blood. I had sheared the callus off my left big toe, and was probably about 5 minutes away from doing the same on my right..

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5745[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]5744[/ATTACH]

[Church]

First thing I want to address is alecto: holy shit dude!

Sex before vs. after marriage: I'm a before marriage guy myself, but only in the context of a long term relationship. One night stands don't fly with me, and I've had one friend with benefits situation which quickly dissolved. I'd like to get married one day, but I'm not going to wait until then to have sex. Especially when it's such an important part of a relationship. How can you decide to fully evaluate your comparability with someone if you ignore such a large part of who you both are?

[Waldo]

I had a whole big response on this, but couldn't get it worded right, so I'm going to say this. That man is a dick and she should have punched him in his penis.

As for the discussion of Game and the art of seduction, I look down on them as much as I do his line. I see them as nothing more than as a way to get into a girls pants.

So, here is my secondary query: What happened to the art of courting?

I dunno. That was fairly normal drunken behavior amongst many during the college years when the desire for long term relationships was low, the desire for sex high, and inhibition seriously reduced.

Perhaps times have changed?

A mean, at some point a decent % of people decided to hell with the morals and decency they feined when younger (and didn't know better), finding that they enjoyed the occasional no strings attached screwing. Granted not everybody was like this, but we're not talking about a small minority here.

I think a lot of guys as well have the perception (sometimes right, sometimes wrong) that the ones that hide it the most tend to be sexual monsters, that looks and impressions are deceiving.

But again, perhaps times have changed. Wife and I have been together since the 90's, been a while since I was a single guy.

But just look at the American Pie movie series. That sort of behavior would fit right in, that series wasn't terribly far from reality. Are you not in that general age group Church?

[Jcannon98188]

First thing I want to address is alecto: holy shit dude!

Sex before vs. after marriage: I'm a before marriage guy myself, but only in the context of a long term relationship. One night stands don't fly with me, and I've had one friend with benefits situation which quickly dissolved. I'd like to get married one day, but I'm not going to wait until then to have sex. Especially when it's such an important part of a relationship. How can you decide to fully evaluate your comparability with someone if you ignore such a large part of who you both are?

I dunno. For me it is a religious reason that I am waiting until marriage. I don't really worry about not being "sexually compatabile" or whatever. The way I see it, is it worked out fine for my mother and father, and my fathers mother and father, and theirs etc. for about as long as we keep records.

Now, this could just be because I have never had sex before so maybe I just don't get it, but how exactly is having sex a part of who you are? I mean, I can understand that someone might enjoy/dislike sex more than their partner, but does this really cause any issues down the line?

[Church]

In my experience, and the experience of everyone I know who talks about it. If the sex isn't 'on' nothing else can make up for it. You can be totally perfect for each other in every way imaginable, but if the sex isn't satisfying, or isn't present, then sooner or later things will go sideways.

For example: one of you has a WAY higher sex drive than the other, or one of you likes it rough, while the other likes it gentle. It's possible to get past it, but it puts a LOT of extra strain on a relationship.

Either one of you repressed certain aspects and eventually comes to feel repressed and resentful, or you try your level best to live up to their expectations and end up feeling inadequate because you can't give them what they need.

I'm not saying that things can't work out if you wait till after marriage, but I prefer to make sure that the relationship is solid on ALL levels before I make it forever.

[azsf]

Hate the player not the game.

That said, courting died right around the time feminism came along, and with good reason. Because we actually started telling each other "no means no", and we started listening. Courting was essentially pushing on past the no until you got your yes. This doesnt swing both ways, either youre respecting her decisions or youre a stalker. So were forced into primarily meeting sexual partners in highly sexual environments where hooking up is almost a given. Ie, night clubs. We can extrapolate further to all of societys ills but thats going fairly off topic.

Imo, courtship can only happen after an initial yes. An agreement to meet for drinks, or go see a play or something, or after a proposition for sex. Its all about where you choose to jump in at. Nothing wrong with jumping straight to sex, nothing wrong with starting at holding hands. If the person is into you, theres no problem.

[realbrickwall]

Sex is an unequaled intimacy between people. Whether its the greatest or most pure form of intimacy is an unresolvable debate, especially because not everyone experiences sexuality in the same way, but it cannot be simply compared to other forms of intimacy. If you have a partner with whom you intend to be intimate, not being on the same wavelength on sex is going to forever obstruct that oneness that might otherwise be achieved. As with our other desires (food, drink, entertainment, self-worth, I could go on), lacking proper sexual satisfaction makes us feel incomplete, whether that satisfaction is derived from having it once a week, once a day, or once a never-ever-ever-oh-god-why.

There's plenty of relationships that have managed despite not getting along in the bedroom. But, ultimately, it leaves at least one person, and maybe both people, unhappy with something that takes up a great deal of most humans' thoughts, wants, and needs. I know I would hate to do that to myself, much more so myself AND another person.

If all you're looking for is a business partner and room-mate who happens to provide you with progeny, then, hey, waiting until marriage and having no sex outside the marriage guarantees a solid, legitimate line, and keeps a lot of the paperwork easier. But, for a loving relationship, you need to consider happiness in all aspects of life. All of them.

[Church]

Sex is an unequaled intimacy between people. Whether its the greatest or most pure form of intimacy is an unresolvable debate, especially because not everyone experiences sexuality in the same way, but it cannot be simply compared to other forms of intimacy. If you have a partner with whom you intend to be intimate, not being on the same wavelength on sex is going to forever obstruct that oneness that might otherwise be achieved. As with our other desires (food, drink, entertainment, self-worth, I could go on), lacking proper sexual satisfaction makes us feel incomplete, whether that satisfaction is derived from having it once a week, once a day, or once a never-ever-ever-oh-god-why.

There's plenty of relationships that have managed despite not getting along in the bedroom. But, ultimately, it leaves at least one person, and maybe both people, unhappy with something that takes up a great deal of most humans' thoughts, wants, and needs. I know I would hate to do that to myself, much more so myself AND another person.

If all you're looking for is a business partner and room-mate who happens to provide you with progeny, then, hey, waiting until marriage and having no sex outside the marriage guarantees a solid, legitimate line, and keeps a lot of the paperwork easier. But, for a loving relationship, you need to consider happiness in all aspects of life. All of them.

This^^^ is a way more eloquent version of what I was grasping at. Lol.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Wow, I've never known this thread to go four days without a post. So, to start a new topic, what is your best fart story?

Mine is from back when my wife and I were engaged in grad school. We were in the lobby of a dorm where she was staying and i felt one coming on as we were leaving the lobby. Perceiving the nature of the flatulance, I chose to embellish somewhat with motions. I raised my arm to the heavens, made a fist, and brought down my arm as I brought up the corresponding leg till the elbow and knee almost touched. The fart itslef was like a symphony, with a beginning, middle and end, with dynamic sound changes and deep resonance. As I looked up, the resident director was looking at us with eyes like plates. Surprisingly feeling pride instead of embarassement, I smiled, nodded and walked on with nary a care in the world. Meanwhile, my then fiance was cracking up. (I think that is part of why our relationship works).

[Artinum]

Tank, this is the MAN thread. Not the schoolboy thread.

[Church]

Ok. New Man-topic:

A few days ago my ex invited me to thanksgiving dinner yesterday. I had to decline due to flying to work, but I still ended up talking a bunch and we went bowling Sunday. I'd forgotten how easy she was to talk to, and how much we had in common. So now I'm kicking around the idea of giving it another shot. What do you guys think? Advice, input, criticism?

[KillerGriller]

why'd you break up in the first place? has anything changed?

[161803398874989]

why'd you break up in the first place? has anything changed?

Well, this.

Also, holy shit I suddenly got promoted to mod at the bodyweightfitness subreddit. Was scrolling down the page, came upon the list of modnames and was like: "wtf?".

[The Tin Man]

Well, this.

Also, holy shit I suddenly got promoted to mod at the bodyweightfitness subreddit. Was scrolling down the page, came upon the list of modnames and was like: "wtf?".

Agreed on the "this".

And congrats!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Tank, this is the MAN thread. Not the schoolboy thread.

It got the thread going again.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Ok. New Man-topic:

A few days ago my ex invited me to thanksgiving dinner yesterday. I had to decline due to flying to work, but I still ended up talking a bunch and we went bowling Sunday. I'd forgotten how easy she was to talk to, and how much we had in common. So now I'm kicking around the idea of giving it another shot. What do you guys think? Advice, input, criticism?

Break up reasons are pretty much the main information needed for this advice.