MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Lefeux]

Head booping a kitten is actually manlier than someone not secure enough to head boop a kitten for fear of how it looks. At that point one has descended from Manly to compensation territory.

I head bop with my puppy quite often.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]6001[/ATTACH]

Ennui - hmmm. I know that feeling well. Also Snake, I know the feeling about missing something in life. It tends to ebb and flow. Experienced it a lot out here in a non challenging job away from my family. I am hoping that with a new (and more technical) job and being back home, things will return to some semblance of normal.

[161803398874989]

You said scale, I said root, tomayto tomahto, haven't done music theory since high school...

Only that root is often determined by the key (I said scale, but I learnt all this stuff in Dutch). So they're not the same. Just nitpicking, sorry!

Actually in my college music theory my teachers all referred to c6 as a first inversion C chord... I.e. egc. But I believe c6 is also the traditional TAB notation for playing a C chord with an added sixth (I.e. CEGA, ACEG, GCEA, etc.)... I believe traditionally it's a root position C chord, but in general if you're using tab notation I don't think anyone really cares that much if it's root or not.

C6 is the traditional EVERYTHING notation for a C major chord with an added sixth.

Mind you, C6 is also the Soprano High C, the C two octaves above Middle C. So... Ya know. C6 gets around as far as notation goes.

True that.

I'd disagree that theory is not important... I helps me a great deal when I do professional, or even free, music jobs/jams. Whenever I try to pick up a new instrument I find that my basic theory knowledge helps me a lot. Some people do just have natural gifts that let them get by without any theory at all... I certainly know quite a few people like that. But for me theory is essential and allows me to perform at the level of "naturally talented" musicians in a way that I never could without it. I have a friend who can sit down at the keyboard and just doodle away instinctively, but I can't. If I figure out what key the piece is in, however, I can appear to be doodling around and following the soloist/piece when in fact I'm just utilizing my theory skills to figure out where the music is heading, and of course using my aural skills training to figure out what's currently happening in the piece or what I need to be ready for.

The subject of the discussion was writing music, not live jams. For live jams you basically only need to figure out the key and you're good. So in that case, some theory is handy. But for writing music, I very much prefer taking the time to dick around randomly on the instrument to find something that sounds really good above saying: "well, today I'm going to play in C minor, with a Cm7-Ab-Gm-Fm chord scheme, and notes according to these chords in the right hand".

As for live jams, I believe you rise above the use of theory once you do it enough. I used to go to jam sessions every two weeks or so and at first we only played blues. All the time. Then over time we started jamming other stuff as well.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Snake, if at all possible, go see a counselor. They have a way of pointing you to the right questions you should ask yourself. I tend to agree with others that you might be bored. Do you have buddies to hang out with? Stuff you like doing? In my unprofessional problem, I prescribe some fun therapy. It can be hard to find a group of men with which to hang out, but if you find a good one, it can make all the difference in the world.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Snake, if at all possible, go see a counselor. They have a way of pointing you to the right questions you should ask yourself. I tend to agree with others that you might be bored. Do you have buddies to hang out with? Stuff you like doing? In my unprofessional problem, I prescribe some fun therapy. It can be hard to find a group of men with which to hang out, but if you find a good one, it can make all the difference in the world.

no no. See I have friends I hang out with. I do things. I stay active and have fun. But it's as soon as I DONT have anything to do I feel something is wrong. and it isn't boredom exactly. I can fend off boredom. I go to book stores and such for that. It's...there is something else there. Like something is just not correct. It's weird. I have fun all of the time.

I will say I wish I could get my friends (as i've discussed before) to get out and do some things with me. but that just isn't going to happen with them.

[Waldo]

That topic aside. I feel really weird in my life right now. I wake up daily with a good attitude and a ton of energy. But on that same exact token I feel very frustrated and like life doesn't have a purpose. I know what I want to do with myself (personal training) and I'm taking steps towards it. But I honestly just feel really...out of sorts I guess. I can't explain it. It's like depression but not sad....is that even a thing? PTSD? lol It's really just weird. Like I can't pin it down. Again My attitude is great and I'm always trying to help others and support them and be positive. But when I get into my internal thoughts I sort of just look at everything and wonder why I'm doing it. Is there a point? I feel like the things I want and want to work towards I have no chance to attain. Hard to explain. anyway just venting.

I had that sense for a lot of my late 20's/early 30's.

I was very driven professionally when I was younger. I decided what I wanted to do when I was very young (5-7), had a fairly specific goal (engineer a skyscraper), and fortuntely/unfortunately satisfied myself that I reached that goal when I was in my late 20's (I was a construction engineer, start to finish, on a 400 ft building).

Problem is past that point everything seemed rather rudderless and pointless.

It was about that time that my wife and I decided to start to try to have kids. I decided when I was in college that I really wanted to have kids and that it was pretty much the entire point to life. Once we started trying months started becoming years, we started going to fertility doctors and really doing everything possible. After a couple years of that, that is pretty much when the whole sense that my life was rudderless and pointless peaked. But I did know why. I felt I was put on this earth to have children, that feeling was merely my biological clock in overdrive as I was already in my 30's.

Now that we're no longer childless, that feeling is totally gone, replaced by a relentless drive to be superdad.

[aj_rock]

Way to make the post of the day at ten in the morning Waldo. Now the rest of my day shall be rudderless and pointless

[Tocho]

I agree with aj_rock! Although it's nearly 5 PM here, but still post of the day.

Question to everyone who wants to answer: Do you have a good relationship with your parents and/or siblings?

[bigm141414]

Way to make the post of the day at ten in the morning Waldo. Now the rest of my day shall be rudderless and pointless

Release your inner troll!

[bigm141414]

Is it only me or did some comments disappear? There's nothing between 9:23 AM (Phi) and 3:36 PM (tanktimus) for me (GMT+1 btw), but just an hour ago I know there were comments in between theirs.

Question to everyone who wants to answer: Do you have a good relationship with your parents and/or siblings?

1) I don't see any deleted posts.

2) Define good? I mean we're friendly but a stoic friendly. But that is just how my family is.

[Tocho]

Yeah I edited it because I was just silly and a bit stupid, so never mind.

And good as in... as in, uhh, as in... I don't know! But well, let me rephrase it then kind of - How is your relationship with your parents/siblings? (Hostile, friendly, amazingly well, don't talk to them at all, etc)

[Artinum]

Ennui! Oh my yes. There's something truly awful about enlightenment of that sort. Your enthusiasm simply disappears when you comprehend the nihilistic nature of the universe. I get periods of "why am I bothering?" when my depression hits.

So far, I've found nothing to stop these feelings. I've discovered a number of ways to reduce them (including a good workout or a long walk) but there are still days when I stop and think "what's the point?"

Question to everyone who wants to answer: Do you have a good relationship with your parents and/or siblings?

My father disappeared out of my life when I was little. Good riddance. I love my mother dearly, but I don't see her that often these days. And I get on a lot better with my sister now than when I was younger. I think her little brother has gone from a vague annoyance to a source of some awe and inspiration. :-P

[Valiance]

The subject of the discussion was writing music, not live jams. For live jams you basically only need to figure out the key and you're good. So in that case, some theory is handy. But for writing music, I very much prefer taking the time to dick around randomly on the instrument to find something that sounds really good above saying: "well, today I'm going to play in C minor, with a Cm7-Ab-Gm-Fm chord scheme, and notes according to these chords in the right hand".

I see what you mean, but my counter-proposal would be that the things you're playing that sound good to your ear when you're fiddling around probably sound good to you because they fit into some chord structure or theoretical music idea. If you understand how theory works, you don't have to spend a lot of time reinventing the wheel. I promise I'm not trying to attack your method--more power to you if you can compose well without any theoretical knowledge at all, but I believe that having a strong theory background can make the composition process faster. I also think it gives you more options because, rather than kicking around till you stumble across something that'll fit just right, you already have a long list of options you can try out. Some messing around will still be required of course, I'm not saying that part of the process isn't essential, but I do feel that the more you know, the more options you have and the less time you have to spend looking till you can find the exact sound you want.

As for live jams, I believe you rise above the use of theory once you do it enough. I used to go to jam sessions every two weeks or so and at first we only played blues. All the time. Then over time we started jamming other stuff as well.

Hmmm, here again I would have to say that my feeling is when you "rise above" theory it's because you have actually internalized it, not because you don't need it. Again, I think a strong knowledge of theory actually gives you more options.

[KillerGriller]

Question to everyone who wants to answer: Do you have a good relationship with your parents and/or siblings?

Despite being socially motivated, I tend to keep my family at arms-length. I'm pleasant and do my best to be a good son, but it's never come easy. I don't know why I do it either, my folks have been nothing but caring and supportive with me. Things are better than they used to be, partly because I can use my kids as a buffer (i.g. - I can engage them if I feel like it, and not because I HAVE to).

I was a dick to my brother when we were growing up, I've tried to correct/fix this as an adult but he still irritates me without even trying.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

no no. See I have friends I hang out with. I do things. I stay active and have fun. But it's as soon as I DONT have anything to do I feel something is wrong. and it isn't boredom exactly. I can fend off boredom. I go to book stores and such for that. It's...there is something else there. Like something is just not correct. It's weird. I have fun all of the time.

I will say I wish I could get my friends (as i've discussed before) to get out and do some things with me. but that just isn't going to happen with them.

If it's not boredom, ask yourself, what am I missing. A common thought experiment is to pretend you have $100 mil. Enough to buy a bunch of stuff you want, then invest the rest and live off the interest. What would you be doing? Then find a way to make that happen in the real world. Also, if your friends aren't there for you, they aren't your friends. Find good friends. (Note punctionation after sentence) I see a lot of myself in you, so let me say that for me a lot of what has helped me is working on myself, identifying then overcoming the source of my insecurities and poor sense of self worth. As I am becoming more secure and beginning to really believe I have worth I have become happier. Its an ongoing process but well worth it. In that process the advice of others is invaluable, sometimes mandatory. Keep it up.

As for the parents thing, I get along well with my parents, I see them about once a month (they live about 45 min away). Dad and I can hang out like buddies, and mom and I get along pretty well. I even get along with my mother-in-law

[Jcannon98188]

Snake, Waldo is trying to tell you to go make babies. Go do!

And I absolutely love my parents! I spend every weekend with them and my family

[Artinum]

Snake, Waldo is trying to tell you to go make babies. Go do!

For ultimate manliness, go make 16-foot tall titanium babies with laser beams for eyes. And then use them to conquer the world! Between deadly laser eye vision and disarming cuteness, nothing will be able to resist them! Mwahahahahaaa!

[Church]

For ultimate manliness, go make 16-foot tall titanium babies with laser beams for eyes. And then use them to conquer the world! Between deadly laser eye vision and disarming cuteness, nothing will be able to resist them! Mwahahahahaaa!

What you need it 2turtles with laser cannons. Because a turtles only weakness is to be put on its back. So if you tape two of them together, shell to shell, they'll be unstoppable!

Or set off and EMP. Once technology goes dark we're all f@*#ed anyway. Lol

[KillerGriller]

Everyone knows that if you are going to build anything with lasers attached it's gotta be frikkin' sharks

[Valiance]

Why not a hedgehog? Already adorable, yet deadly.... just add a laser and BAM!!!!

[Artinum]

Everyone knows that if you are going to build anything with lasers attached it's gotta be frikkin' sharks

Or a similar form of sealife? Man, I wrote that one so long ago...

Why not a hedgehog? Already adorable, yet deadly.... just add a laser and BAM!!!!

No, no. Shine a car headlight on it and it would simply roll into a ball...

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Does anyone remember the Saturday Night live fake commercial for armor cats? It was armor you could put on your cat that had all kinds of weapons on it. They actually made the armor and put it on real cats. That was awesome.

[Valiance]

No, no. Shine a car headlight on it and it would simply roll into a ball...

Three words: Hedgehog wearing sunglasses.

Did I just blow your mind? I think I just blew my own.

Those little fuckers would be like tiny Ahnolds... with lasers.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Three words: Hedgehog wearing sunglasses.

Did I just blow your mind? I think I just blew my own.

Those little fuckers would be like tiny Ahnolds... with lasers.

That's what he's been up to...

[Red1263]

Hmmm.... in terms of family, I'm close with my parents, sister, and 2 of my 5 brothers. The others are.... ehhh, let's say, 2 are alright, but there's one that I want to just keep away from.

Relatives, are a completely different story... that's pretty much non-existent.

[Guest Snake McClain]

I had that sense for a lot of my late 20's/early 30's.

I was very driven professionally when I was younger. I decided what I wanted to do when I was very young (5-7), had a fairly specific goal (engineer a skyscraper), and fortuntely/unfortunately satisfied myself that I reached that goal when I was in my late 20's (I was a construction engineer, start to finish, on a 400 ft building).

Problem is past that point everything seemed rather rudderless and pointless.

It was about that time that my wife and I decided to start to try to have kids. I decided when I was in college that I really wanted to have kids and that it was pretty much the entire point to life. Once we started trying months started becoming years, we started going to fertility doctors and really doing everything possible. After a couple years of that, that is pretty much when the whole sense that my life was rudderless and pointless peaked. But I did know why. I felt I was put on this earth to have children, that feeling was merely my biological clock in overdrive as I was already in my 30's.

Now that we're no longer childless, that feeling is totally gone, replaced by a relentless drive to be superdad.

Rudderless. There it is. I have a few things I'm passionate about but I see literally no point in doing them at times. But... I'm not sure if your post just made my day or ruined it. The reality is if the problem is that I'm getting the trigger for "family" well then I'm pretty well fucked because that isn't happening realistically for probably about 5 years. Although I think what you just said is a beautiful thing. being superdad. That is awesome.

Ennui! Oh my yes. There's something truly awful about enlightenment of that sort. Your enthusiasm simply disappears when you comprehend the nihilistic nature of the universe. I get periods of "why am I bothering?" when my depression hits.

So far, I've found nothing to stop these feelings. I've discovered a number of ways to reduce them (including a good workout or a long walk) but there are still days when I stop and think "what's the point?"

I do go on walks to help. Sometimes it does. It helps a lot. Other times it's a reminder that I'm walking alone. Othertimes its a great release.

If it's not boredom, ask yourself, what am I missing. A common thought experiment is to pretend you have $100 mil. Enough to buy a bunch of stuff you want, then invest the rest and live off the interest. What would you be doing? Then find a way to make that happen in the real world. Also, if your friends aren't there for you, they aren't your friends. Find good friends. (Note punctionation after sentence) I see a lot of myself in you, so let me say that for me a lot of what has helped me is working on myself, identifying then overcoming the source of my insecurities and poor sense of self worth. As I am becoming more secure and beginning to really believe I have worth I have become happier. Its an ongoing process but well worth it. In that process the advice of others is invaluable, sometimes mandatory. Keep it up.

I'm actually trying to do this in my life now. I'm going after the things I really love and forgetting what others think I should do or what would make the most money etc.

Snake, Waldo is trying to tell you to go make babies. Go do!

And I absolutely love my parents! I spend every weekend with them and my family

For ultimate manliness, go make 16-foot tall titanium babies with laser beams for eyes. And then use them to conquer the world! Between deadly laser eye vision and disarming cuteness, nothing will be able to resist them! Mwahahahahaaa!

hahah I am sure my babies would be awesome but unfortunately laserless!