MEN ONLY THREAD part two

[Guest Snake McClain]

I've really fucking had it. And I wish I could write a rant, but I don't know what to say.

listen up bud. All the shit I pour out on this forum every other day...open up and tell us what's happening. You've been there for me. It's time to return the favor. Get the marbles out of your mouth and start talkin.

[Atalan]

<insert female perspective>

NEVER date anyone related to a she bro. It is a total slap in the face.

</end f p>

Even if the she-bro is in a committed relationship, such as married?

[azsf]

I know it is against the Bro Code to date your bro's sister, but what about a bro's daughter?

I disagree with the whole "can't date a bros sister" thing, but only in that it depends on the persons intentions. ive had plenty of douchebags lusting after my sister, and if a bro was acting like he just wanted to get his end off id tell him straight up to put his shit away. if however, they are genuinely interested in having something real and meaningful and my sister felt in a similar way about them, id say go for it.

i imagine this is the same way most people would feel about their daughters. if they know you are a decent bloke and have good intentions, then i can't see it being an issue. they might give you a a stern look that says "if you break her heart i will end you", but at the same time they should be happy if they're daughter (and friend) are happy. unless they're a possessive douche

long story short; its not okay to just bang your bros sister/daughter. but to ask out/have a proper relationship with them is fine.

[realbrickwall]

If your sister wants to bang a dude (or chick), that's her business, not yours. Unless that dude/chick has a disease or something. Diseases are something to protect relatives from.

[azsf]

if my sister wants to bang my friend, and my friend is all "lol im totally gonna mess around with our friendship and just bang your sister", id say they weren't really my friend. as i said before though, if my friend was actually interested in having a relationship with my sister, and not just looking to get his end in, i wouldn't have a problem.

[Guest Snake McClain]

my thoughts as a man that has sisters (and many friends i love as such) i would agree that if i KNOW that my friend has proper intentions and isnt just being a dbagger, then I'm okay with it. but i would preface them to be careful. however, if i had any idea that it was ill-intended there would be threats of knuckle sandwiches.

[aj_rock]

I don't have a nickname. I've always been Andrew. Occasionally people call me Andy, but they soon learn not to - especially with two other people in the workplace called Andy.

Me too. In a room of four andrews, I'M andrew. The rest are Andys, or go by their last names. Which I can go for as well.

But yeah, no real nicknames. I've used aj_rock for a WHILE though, across most forums, just to keep the consistency. You could probably figure out who I am because of that if you cared enough... as a relatively strong, fit guy, I've never really considered the internet a threat to me

That being said, if I ever attended a NF meetup, I'd give AJ a try, as many people online show surprise at the fact that I've NEVER been called that IRL

[realbrickwall]

Your sister may not WANT a relationship. Some girls just want to, how do you kids say, "get an end in"? Seriously.

Of course, if your friend lies to your sister or manipulates her, you have full rights to punch him until he needs a diaper for the rest of his life. But that applies to any member of your family, I'd think. Or close friends, even.

[Church]

If your sister wants to bang a dude (or chick), that's her business, not yours. Unless that dude/chick has a disease or something. Diseases are something to protect relatives from.

This brings in a new facet to the issue. I totally agree that if there's real feelings and a real relationship then it's none of the bro's business. But I also feel that if both parties just wanna bang, then that's their business. Now, as a bang-ee, you have to be prepared for Bro's wrath. But your business is your business. At least in theory. Obviously your own morality will come into play here. Personally, I WOULDN'T mess around with certain girls, including married women and friends sisters.

[azsf]

Your sister may not WANT a relationship. Some girls just want to, how do you kids say, "get an end in"? Seriously.

for sure, many girls are dtf on a regular basis. id call my sister out on being a douche for sleeping with my friends though, and i call my friends out the same. it just makes things awkward between my friends and i. my sister (and my friends) can find other people to bang, and not fuck around with friendships.

[Church]

If it makes you uncomfortable though, that's on you to handle. If I'm with a girl, even if its just a casual hook up from time to time. That's between her and I as consenting adults in full control of our faculties.

[azsf]

If it makes you uncomfortable though, that's on you to handle. If I'm with a girl, even if its just a casual hook up from time to time. That's between her and I as consenting adults in full control of our faculties.

okay i think the point is being missed here, and i suspect that's also why RBW is jumping up and down as well. the point is not who you can bang, bang away by all means. the point is whats okay between friends. if it makes me uncomfortable when you do something, then we wont be friends. its the same reason im not friends with people who shoot heroin, or steal cars, or get into fights at bars. so yeh, its on me to handle, which i would do so by not being friends with you anymore. if you think thats an acceptable loss for a quick root, then you cant have been much of a friend in the first place. does that make sense?

[161803398874989]

listen up bud. All the shit I pour out on this forum every other day...open up and tell us what's happening. You've been there for me. It's time to return the favor. Get the marbles out of your mouth and start talkin.

That's the problem. I tried to write a rant. But I couldn't.

I'm just fed up with this injury bullshit and my concussion has made things worse since I couldn't even do rehab this past week. Sleep has been awful, despite my high need. So yesterday I was doing my homework and was just drawing blanks. I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. I mean, I can't even do pushups right now because they just fuck up my shoulder royally.

[leadchipmunk]

I disagree with the whole "can't date a bros sister" thing, but only in that it depends on the persons intentions. ive had plenty of douchebags lusting after my sister, and if a bro was acting like he just wanted to get his end off id tell him straight up to put his shit away. if however, they are genuinely interested in having something real and meaningful and my sister felt in a similar way about them, id say go for it.

i imagine this is the same way most people would feel about their daughters. if they know you are a decent bloke and have good intentions, then i can't see it being an issue. they might give you a a stern look that says "if you break her heart i will end you", but at the same time they should be happy if they're daughter (and friend) are happy. unless they're a possessive douche

long story short; its not okay to just bang your bros sister/daughter. but to ask out/have a proper relationship with them is fine.

That's the way I've always seen "don't date a bro's sister." If they are legitimately happy, then there's no problem here. Now, if he hurts her he better be ready for some serious brovenge. Or alternately, if she ends up hurting him, she better be ready for some brotherly anger. Hey, you shouldn't have to pick a side in a hypothetical like this.

Of course, if your friend lies to your sister or manipulates her, you have full rights to punch him until he needs a diaper for the rest of his life. But that applies to any member of your family, I'd think. Or close friends, even.

Punch? Needs a diaper? No, you take that bro and strap him down to a suspended net made of high tensile fishing line and you suspend a weight above him that slowly descends adding one pound of pressure per hour until the line cuts through his skin, but it is so slow that it starts to heal around it. Maybe that's just me, but I'm a bit defensive of my (friends I love like) sisters.

okay i think the point is being missed here, and i suspect that's also why RBW is jumping up and down as well. the point is not who you can bang, bang away by all means. the point is whats okay between friends. if it makes me uncomfortable when you do something, then we wont be friends. its the same reason im not friends with people who shoot heroin, or steal cars, or get into fights at bars. so yeh, its on me to handle, which i would do so by not being friends with you anymore. if you think thats an acceptable loss for a quick root, then you cant have been much of a friend in the first place. does that make sense?

I agree, if you have a true friend, there's no reason to risk that for some action on the side.

That's the problem. I tried to write a rant. But I couldn't.

I'm just fed up with this injury bullshit and my concussion has made things worse since I couldn't even do rehab this past week. Sleep has been awful, despite my high need. So yesterday I was doing my homework and was just drawing blanks. I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. I mean, I can't even do pushups right now because they just fuck up my shoulder royally.

These things take time to heal. You're going to get real down about yourself in the mean time, but remember. When this is all over, you'll have the experience of what it is like to be weakened and that is just motivation to make yourself stronger.

[realbrickwall]

okay i think the point is being missed here, and i suspect that's also why RBW is jumping up and down as well. the point is not who you can bang, bang away by all means. the point is whats okay between friends. if it makes me uncomfortable when you do something, then we wont be friends. its the same reason im not friends with people who shoot heroin, or steal cars, or get into fights at bars. so yeh, its on me to handle, which i would do so by not being friends with you anymore. if you think thats an acceptable loss for a quick root, then you cant have been much of a friend in the first place. does that make sense?

Yes, but if any of my friends told me someone was 'off limits' for me to have sexual relations with for any reason other than the physical/mental health of me or the someone, then I would consider that out of bounds for our friendship. Sex is between the people having it, and NOBODY else, unless they choose to ask someone's input (again: severe health issues supersede privacy and personal choice; i.e. no, you can't screw someone with HerpAIDSyphilis even if they are hot).

So, basically, I completely understand what you're saying, and I wholly disagree with your stance on the matter. I find it abhorrent to dictate who has sex with whom if nobody is being hurt.

[dshale]

Should have guessed...

Question time, I know it is against the Bro Code to date your bro's sister, but what about a bro's daughter? This, of course, is a purely hypothetical situation...

If you have said anything that may lead him to believe you are going to do anything perverse to her then NO! No matter how hot she is, she is still that little baby he brought home from the hospital. In general I would say it is a really bad idea.

[Rostov]

Difficult for me to have a view on this, as I've not been in the situation of dating a relative of a friend or a friend dating a relative. But in general terms, if all involved are informed consenting adults it's hard to see what would give me the right of veto over a sister's choice of partners. If no-one involved is carrying a sword-cane, duelling pistols, silk gloves, and sporting a twirly moustache, then I'd argue that the era for such objections has probably passed.

I'm also slightly puzzled as to why someone might think that someone is good enough for the prized role of "friend" but not be suitable to date a female relative (leaving aside gay male friends, of course). Now granted, I've not counted many womanisers among my friends, but even those who are/were I'd have no objection as long as there was no deception about intentions. We no longer live in an age where we need to worry about our female relatives bringing shame onto the family.

Perhaps there are three issues here. One is the fact that a relationship between a friend and a relative inevitably (even if all goes well, one way or the other) creates a conflict of interest and of role that puts me in an awkward position. The second is that I'm feeling subverted - my friend is now closer to my sister than to me, and my sister is now closer to my friend than to me. That's a double demotion, and that's quite tough to take - especially as between a really good friend and a sibling, there's a lot of knowledge about me that I'd rather they not share. The third is the "yuck factor" - I don't think anyone particularly likes to think about their siblings as sexual beings, but there's definitely an added yuck factor invovled if it's with a friend.

Although I don't think either of these are decisive objections, they're still very much real issues and I'd expect a friend and a relative to take them into account and think very carefully. I'd want them to be sure that it's worth the risk, and I'd like to find out about it from one or both of them, and I'd like to find out very early on.

Of course, things are different if there's a power imbalance, or if the sister isn't yet an adult (even if the friend isn't either), or there's deception or bad faith involved.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Exactly! They have their chance! Wise man once say, "Forgiveness is Divine, but never pay full price for a late Pizza!" -.-

It was wise words of Master Splinter!

Sorry, it was Donatello. I used to watch that movie once a day for months.

[KillerGriller]

[quote name=KillerGriller;290425

So my question to the council:

If they actually make it to the start line (i.e.- not drop out)' date=' do I stick with them to the bitter end like I did last year, or do I wish them luck and race my own race (i.e. - go for a PR), meeting them at the finish line?

Well, after reading all the responses I broke it to one of the fellas that I'd be running my own race this year. He acknowledged that his training this year has been less than stellar and I should definitely race if I wanted to. The one positive is that they will be run/walking the race together so I don't have to worry about the support aspect.

Thanks for the feedback all!

[KillerGriller]

I'm divided on the whole sister-effer deal. On one hand I definitely agree that sex is between the participants, but I can also understand the protective feelings that one has for family. I think part of it may stem from we as men seeing the best and worst of our friends and knowing that there is a possibility for some pretty significant ass-hattery. Maybe it's simply a visibility thing? If she's with some guy you don't know then you don't have to acknowledge it the possibilities, but if she's with your buddy then you are constantly reminded of it?

[Waldo]

I'm just fed up with this injury bullshit and my concussion has made things worse since I couldn't even do rehab this past week. Sleep has been awful, despite my high need. So yesterday I was doing my homework and was just drawing blanks. I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. I mean, I can't even do pushups right now because they just fuck up my shoulder royally.

At some level though you have to work through things, work through the pain and come out the other side; let the rehab do its job, slowly making things better.

What do you have that's so severe that you can't work through it?

[Waldo]

? for all the guys who squat a lot.

I've been doing the boxer brief thing for a while, and had to totally replace my entire wardrobe as I lost weight. They were some of the first things replaced as boxer briefs eliminates a lot of issues related to running.

Now I'm running into the issue where they are getting hard to get over my thighs, yet are more loose than tight in the waist.

The Champion ones are the worst offenders, and Hanes aren't much better. I've got some Merona ones that are a little better, but they still are overly tight (they aren't as long, which seems to help). I have to prestretch the Champion ones to even get 'em on. Thing is, my legs aren't THAT big (25") for my waist (34"), and I still want to add a good bit more size to them.

Anyone know if there any boxer-breif brands/models that are better for those with big legs? Kinda like the underwear equivalent of baggy fit-loose fit pants.

[161803398874989]

At some level though you have to work through things, work through the pain and come out the other side; let the rehab do its job, slowly making things better.

What do you have that's so severe that you can't work through it?

A completely locked up neck and FUBAR'd shoulder. Both from my little fall-off-the-stairs adventure. I'll be doing another rehab session today.

I was going the "don't do anything that hurts"-route, but have been considering building up again. I'll give it a shot, since this isn't going anywhere anyway.

[Waldo]

I was going the "don't do anything that hurts"-route, but have been considering building up again. I'll give it a shot, since this isn't going anywhere anyway.

My reintroduction to strength training (did it back in the 90's for a bit when in college) was basically knee rehab, it just grew into what I do today.

But I started doing it because I figured out that I had severe tendonosis in the knee. -itis is best treated with rest, it goes away in a week or two. -osis OTOH you have to purposely reinjure to induce inflammation; you have to work through pain. My introduction to squatting (in college I only used machines, I can honestly say that I've never done a barbell squat or a barbell bench press) was doing it feeling like my knees were going to rip apart and kneecaps pop off, knowing I had to work through the pain and that it would get better, that squats were the best thing I could do for it.

I treated the shoulders the same way once they started acting up. Very aggresive rehab coupled with some reduction in activity, but not much. I cut down on the overhead work, but that's about it. For a while I thought something was torn, but I did every test for tears and passed 'em. I clearly had impingement for a few months, and still have some lingering tendon issues. But for the most part it forced me to perfect my muscle balance, posture, strengthen my lesser muscles, and focus on mobility and stretching. Taught me the hard way the importance of focusing on the prehab stuff all the time. Unfortunately my wrists are the same way, had to learn the hard way. Forearm splints are a mofo to get rid of once you've got 'em, especially when all overhead work (handstands) and straight arm pressing (planche stuff) seriously aggravates the issue.

Both from my little fall-off-the-stairs adventure.

Tequila induced trauma?

[Guest Snake McClain]

That's the problem. I tried to write a rant. But I couldn't.

I'm just fed up with this injury bullshit and my concussion has made things worse since I couldn't even do rehab this past week. Sleep has been awful, despite my high need. So yesterday I was doing my homework and was just drawing blanks. I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore. I mean, I can't even do pushups right now because they just fuck up my shoulder royally.

hey buddy i recently had a concussion too. I had an accident a couple months back. it sucks. I know the feeling. Just hang in and be patient. Don't get frustrated it will just make you feel shittier! Hang in there man. I know it sucks. And I hurt my shoulder back in february and it took MONTHS before I got better. I couldn't do squats because I couldn't hold the bar it hurt so bad. I couldn't do pushups or bench. it totally sucks. Maybe lay off the pushups and just build other things just to keep your blood flowing? Just to keep your body functioning to some degree.

I know it sucks and i know i keep saying it but be patient and hang in there.

Now I have a question to the men. So previously (until the past year and a half) I have been known as a quitter. I quit at everything once it got tough or seemed challenging. Now I'm really doing my best to stop that mentality. I'm busting ass at all I apply myself to. I have a few Ideas for some new art projects I can work on and I am excited to try my hand at it. As well as writing. And my...well my former former-lady friend (yes we are getting back together), has gone out of her way and surprised me by buying my personal fitness training and theory textbook for my certification. Awesome. But here is the thing. Of ALL the people I know she is one of a few who believe in me. Because she didn't know the OLD me. All of my old friends are sort of like "yeah whatever" and it's really pissing me off. I know you all encourage me but how do you deal with the naysayers? The people that just scoff? Should I just write them off of my life completely? Let them wallow in my absence? Or do I hang with them like normal and just not mention the things I'm doing and let them figure it out once I'm done?

Man counsel, how would YOU handle this?